Which villainous army do you enlist in?
Dr insano's minions (spoonyone videos)
5.8% (26)
5.8% (26)
Mr scratch's taken (alan wake's american nightmare)
1.3% (6)
1.3% (6)
Joker's gang (batman)
9.8% (44)
9.8% (44)
Combine (Half life 2)
16.6% (75)
16.6% (75)
Sauron's army (lord of the rings)
10% (45)
10% (45)
Khorne's cult (warhammer 40K)
14% (63)
14% (63)
Cult of cthulhu (hp lovecraft)
12.4% (56)
12.4% (56)
Other
29.9% (135)
29.9% (135)
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Poll: Which evil army do you join?

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I'd try to become part of The Circle (A.K.A. The Black Council) from the Dresden Files universe. Subtly manipulate large factions to our advantage? Check. Made of magic wielding badasses that ignore silly little rules like "don't travel through time" or "don't make zombie armies" or "don't outright kill people with magic"? Check. Has a string of victories in a world where the heroes are still alive? Check.

I choose OMER Science & Technology. I want a Mech that is not shit. So no Zeon for me, I've seen what happens to Zaku's.

The god of Blood, War and Murder or the god of Chaos.

Fuck it I will become a cultist of Slaanesh. Do I get to wear leather?

Out of these, (ignoring "Other"), I'd say 100% Combine. Joker, you'll get murdered sooner or later...and probably sooner. Sauron's army? They cease to exist after the third movie, so to hell with that.

...and I have no idea what the rest are.

If in this bizzaro universe I DID have pointy ears, then I'd go with the Thalmor.

Them robes be bitchin'

Who wouldn't choose to slaughter the servants of the False Emperor in the name of Mighty Khorne? BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD. SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE.

The Vaygar from Homeworld 2 for no other reason than they have cool ships with missiles. Without taking the Other option I would go with Dr Insano because science is fun.

Joker's gang for the win!
Bitch please we will roll out over every other army and put them to shame!
Who could possibly withstand the tide of our madness!

General Bethlehem's 8th Army; from The postman.

The Sith, but only the ones written by Obsidian.

Those guys seem to get it better than anyone else.

I would have to say Sith. The kind of crazy powers you could wield! Not the Sith that existed around prequel trilogy though, I want Old Republic Sith, so much cooler.

Khorne or Cthulhu would be fun. But being a slaaneshi thing sounds... more fun than either of those. Ahem.

I'm gonna go with the Galactic Empire Too. Why? The dark side has some damned good health insurance. Plus, while i imagine the Joker would be somewhat fun to work with...you have to remember you're working for a psychopath who'll praise you for crushing a baby's head beneath your foot one second and the next tear your testicles off because you blinked at him at the wrong time.

Helghast. Helghast troops have actually killed primary characters in the game. General Haughton, Colonel Templar, Sev. And their leader Scolar Visari is killed and they still aren't going to give up. Determination to the end. Helghast Forever.

I think joining a evil Vampire Covenant would be cool. Like the one in the movie Underworld. Though I guess they aren't all really that evil...

I'm not very good at this. I am not good with working with people.

Oh wait I got one, I would join the Xenomorph army! If I had Ripleys half alien blood like she does in Resurection, I would totally join the Xenomorphs and become like a human spy for them. I'd become like the Kerrigan of the Xenomorphs.
image

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!!

Brotherhood of Mutants, partially because I would dig being a Mutant, and partially because I would totally do naughty things with Magneto (I blame X-Men: First Class for that.) Besides, in my experience with that universe, humans are generally dicks and the Brotherhood is totally in the right.

SEXTON HALE:
Joker's gang for the win!
Bitch please we will roll out over every other army and put them to shame!
Who could possibly withstand the tide of our madness!

Khorne could.

No fear. No regret. No remorse. No emotion except fury and anger.

Yes, I'm quite sure the Joker's gang of thugs, assuming he doesn't kill them all for a laugh, can take on the incarnation of war and violence it'self (Khorne), millenia old greater demons that live to simply behead anything in front of them, lesser demons that do the same, and ubermensch somehow turned even MORE bloodthirsty than they were before armed with personal missle launchers and plasma weaponry.

Yea, one schitzophrenic and his small gang of hoodlums vs. the very essence of bloodshed and slaughter. Joker's bones is just going to be one more grinning face on the Skull Throne.

Glademaster:
I'd like to join Chaos but then I'd be on the same side as Failbaddon the armless failboat and that isn't a great way to start your evil career. So I think I might go with the Deadra then.

Ehhh, if you're that worried about fail leaders, it doesn't get much more than Mehrunes Dagon here, brah.

"Awright, my demons are stomping all over the Empire and the WORLD! We got this thing, baby, we've got it by the ass! Even that adventurer punk can't give me anything more than foot pa...OH WHAT THE FUCK, AKATOSH!? Sorry guys, we're gonna hve to be delayed, AGAIN, they found another Septim so we can never win....*grumble grumble*

The Monarch!

Who wouldn't' want to work with 21 and 24?

Cult of Cthullu.

Lots of Lovecraftian monsters aren't really that scary, he makes a big fuss about how foreign they are and how they hang around with ethnic minorities.

You have stories where the "monsters" sit around minding their own business on distant planets or underwater or wherever, and make sure not to interact with humanity, and the horror is in the fact they exist. You have other stories where they trade with humans, and sometimes have families with them, and the horror is that the immigrant squid people are moving to our country, taking our jobs and marrying our women.

Ok, you get the other ones that keep accidently destroying everone they blunder into in nasty ways, but as long as you only hang out with the miner, trader and scientist creatures and don't mind that they don't look like you, there's no problem.

GunsmithKitten:

SEXTON HALE:
Joker's gang for the win!
Bitch please we will roll out over every other army and put them to shame!
Who could possibly withstand the tide of our madness!

Khorne could.

No fear. No regret. No remorse. No emotion except fury and anger.

Yes, I'm quite sure the Joker's gang of thugs, assuming he doesn't kill them all for a laugh, can take on the incarnation of war and violence it'self (Khorne), millenia old greater demons that live to simply behead anything in front of them, lesser demons that do the same, and ubermensch somehow turned even MORE bloodthirsty than they were before armed with personal missle launchers and plasma weaponry.

Yea, one schitzophrenic and his small gang of hoodlums vs. the very essence of bloodshed and slaughter. Joker's bones is just going to be one more grinning face on the Skull Throne.

Pft, Khorne's minions would destroy themselves in their endless bloodlust while the Joker's gang destroyed himself because he's a truly awful leader.

...

Hang on, Khorne would see that as a win, nevermind.

I think I'd join either Magneto or become a team up with someone in TeamRocket

Pardon me, but I am the villain here. And to answer the part of what kind, it so happens that I am the Xanatos around here.

1. Dr insano's minions (spoonyone videos): Don't know him or them.

2. Mr scratch's taken (alan wake's american nightmare): Ditto

3. Joker's gang (batman): The Joker's a loser and a piss poor leader. His minions are losers, too.

4. Combine (Half life 2): Don't know it.

5. Sauron's army (Lord of the Rings): Having read the Silmarillion and the Ring books I'm too familiar with Sauron to side with him. The Nazgul have no wills of their own, the orcs are...well, orcs, and the Black Númenóreans (as represented by The Mouth of Sauron) are suck ups. Nope.

6. Khorne's cult (warhammer 40K): Don't know 'em.

7. Cult of cthulhu (hp lovecraft): Here's the biter. I'm the Escapist City's Grand High Pooh Bah and High Priest of the Great Old Ones...but I'm also a self-serving hypocrite. Next to my copy of The Necronomicon I keep a copy of The Evil Overlord's Handbook. Worldly power for me, but you can keep the sanity destroying/soul devouring aspect of it.

8. Other: Definitely this.

I'd go for the Sith first. With the Sith you're your own person. There is room for individuality and progression for both personal and political power. On top of which you can just chuck the Sith Order and set out on your own if you're feeling particularly Chaotic Neutral.

Second choice would be Magneto's Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. But only if I get to be a COOL mutant.

I think I'd join the Mythic Dawn from Oblivion, I like their robes.

Biodeamon:
I'd say either Tznetch or cthulu. whoever calls first. [see what i did there?]

I see it. There's a reason Khorne doesn't like your sort.

Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne! Raaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Did you ask a question?

I can't hear you over the sound of my roaring chainaxe cutting through soft flesh..

BLOODY SKULLS FOR THE BLOOD GOD'S SKULLY THRONE

++ Lord Kloo executed for "Stupid and excessive amounts of Heresy, even by Imperial standards" - 18/11/2012 ++

I don't join evil armies, I form them.

But if I had a choice, probably would pick Sauron's Army.

I would join The Holy Empire of Britannia(code geass) because whats the point of joining an evil army if you cant pilot giant robots.

ALL HAIL BRITANNIA!!!!!!!!!

Wintermoot:
THE GLORIOUS PRINCIPALITY OF ZEON!
SIEG ZEON!

image
considering they are pretty much space Nazi,s AND took a huge chunk out of Australia I think it,s safe to say these are a evil army.

How is Zeon evil? they are just a group of people who wanted to be free from the tyranny of the federation. sure some may consider dropping an entire colony on the surface of the earth a bit extreme but I still stand by their basic ideals.

Mr. Scratch, because he's so delectably cunning, suave, and ruthless.

sr.orgasmo:

Wintermoot:
THE GLORIOUS PRINCIPALITY OF ZEON!
SIEG ZEON!

image
considering they are pretty much space Nazi,s AND took a huge chunk out of Australia I think it,s safe to say these are a evil army.

How is Zeon evil? they are just a group of people who wanted to be free from the tyranny of the federation. sure some may consider dropping an entire colony on the surface of the earth a bit extreme but I still stand by their basic ideals.

Colony gassing (08th MS team)
Operation British/colony drop (0079)
planned to nuke a colony (0080)
Neo Zeon wanted to drop Axis on earth which would cause the death of most of humanity (CCA)
I think one of those can already be considered a war crime.

I voted other:

The Waffen SS. Much nicer uniforms than any of those other choices.

Fuck all those options, I'm going Graverobber.

Well that or become a carnie under this guy:

If I can get turned into a mutant somehow, Imma join Magneto.

If not....*sigh* I guess I'll join the villains from Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines.

I would want to join Bowser's koopa troop, hands down, no questions asked...but if the world is in an all out war between all the villains, and we're up against CTHULU, JOKER, THE COMBINE AAAAAND Sauron's near endless armies....

Yeah, The Koopa Troop wouldn't last long at all.

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