To Marry an Escapist

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EternalNothingness, so we can share our deep love for Sonic the Hedgehog inflation with each other.

Redlin5:

Baldry:

Redlin5:

...do I know you?

I'm you remember, I figured the only other person for you was yourself.

But I don't love count igor, I don't even know him. I'm a liar! :O

Yeah we went our separate ways, you still love yourself but I've moved on. And in fairness who could resist us.

Nasrin.
I have a non-lesbian crush on her.

Terminally single, thank you very much. I will gladly have a bachelor party though.

Redlin5 can DJ, because that's a thing now.
Kaleion can lead the roast because why not?
This guy has to organize everything because he's the only one to ever befriend me.
Everyone Else can show up naked and maybe pop out of a cake if they want.

Dire Sloth:
Nasrin.
I have a non-lesbian crush on her.

I'm in love with her cat, Boba.
image
SO ADORABLE X3

Fappy:
*snip*

I'm sorry, but all I got from this is WINKING CATMAN IS GONE!!!! D,:

PsychicTaco115:

Lucem712:

PsychicTaco115:

FINE, I'LL CHOOSE SOMEONE!

Or I'll be chosen...

Whoever said you needed consent? >:D

I never said it was a BAD thing. Just pointing it out

But does this mean I have to name you co-leader?

I now own 50% of the League! Also, 50% of the world if SWL's name has any truth to it.
(Yay, for no Prenup!)

soren7550:

Fappy:
*snip*

I'm sorry, but all I got from this is WINKING CATMAN IS GONE!!!! D,:

I'm sorry. It seems I have broken many hearts :(

JoJo:
Snip

And I'll be the assassin...of course hired by the brovengers.

Also why do I get no love? Or least an invite or position to anyone's wedding...actually I might have but I didn't bother to look. xD

Considering my girlfriend also uses the 'Pist, there isn't a right answer here.
At least not one I can post.

Fappy:

soren7550:

Fappy:
*snip*

I'm sorry, but all I got from this is WINKING CATMAN IS GONE!!!! D,:

I'm sorry. It seems I have broken many hearts :(

FOR WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!? *cries in a corner*

*realizes that I have an early copy of Pokemon Black 2 to distract me*

Souplex:
Considering my girlfriend also uses the 'Pist, there isn't a right answer here.
At least not one I can post.

*stands behind menacingly*

Go ahead boyfriend. Answer his question.
*continues to not blink*

*isn't on here enough to be loved by anyone*

:(

*goes to the corner and cries*

Lucem712:

PsychicTaco115:

Lucem712:

Whoever said you needed consent? >:D

I never said it was a BAD thing. Just pointing it out

But does this mean I have to name you co-leader?

I now own 50% of the League! Also, 50% of the world if SWL's name has any truth to it.
(Yay, for no Prenup!)

I'm thinking this would be more of a monarchy-thing

You know, I die and you get complete control...

DON'T HIT ME! D:

SmashLovesTitanQuest:
Lyri (for kindly correcting me everytime I say something that's plain wrong about DOTA)

image

I'm not putting out until I actually play a fucking game with you.

Personally I'm too narcissistic to marry any of you lot, I'd much rather masturbate over myself in a mirror.
Maybe I'll wear a dress and heels, I'd look killer in heels.

ThunderCavalier:
*isn't on here enough to be loved by anyone*

:(

*goes to the corner and cries*

I shall marry you, friendo! EVERYONE GETS A MARRIAGE! YOU GET A MARRIAGE, YOU GET A MARRIAGE!
image

PsychicTaco115:

Lucem712:

PsychicTaco115:

I never said it was a BAD thing. Just pointing it out

But does this mean I have to name you co-leader?

I now own 50% of the League! Also, 50% of the world if SWL's name has any truth to it.
(Yay, for no Prenup!)

I'm thinking this would be more of a monarchy-thing

You know, I die and you get complete control...

DON'T HIT ME! D:

No, no, Mr. Taco...You are much more useful to me alive. For Now.>:D

I mean, I love you, honey bear! :D

soren7550:

Fappy:

soren7550:
I'm sorry, but all I got from this is WINKING CATMAN IS GONE!!!! D,:

I'm sorry. It seems I have broken many hearts :(

FOR WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!? *cries in a corner*

*realizes that I have an early copy of Pokemon Black 2 to distract me*

Hopefully there are no black cat Pokemon in the new generation lest your sorrow resurfaces!

Lucem712:

PsychicTaco115:

Lucem712:

I now own 50% of the League! Also, 50% of the world if SWL's name has any truth to it.
(Yay, for no Prenup!)

I'm thinking this would be more of a monarchy-thing

You know, I die and you get complete control...

DON'T HIT ME! D:

No, no, Mr. Taco...You are much more useful to me alive. For Now.>:D

I mean, I love you, honey bear! :D

I SENSE MERICAN TREACHERY!

I want to have the Escapist's first divorce, on charges of abuse!

JUUUUUUUUUST kidding! :D

Love conquers all!

DoPo:

Fappy:

DoPo:
Well, I think of only one Escapist I'd actually marry. That one. Because they are just incredible like that. Yeah, I love you, I do. Keep being awesome!

I can't wait for someone to fall for this. I hope it's a lurker.

But I do love everybody. Except for that one person, that is. But everybody else, I adore. :)

Clever. Even having pulled the same gag twice within 4 posts, I'm sure a great many fell victim. Being a cynic, and a relative unknown on the Escapist, I saw through it...and also failed to come up with a list of my own. I did, however, find the thread to be rather amusing in my sleep-deprived state.

No one loves me? sod you then! I make excellent food, bring it to you while on the xbox, bring you beer and other stuff! (edit: But then there's the crippling insecurities and the psychotic, jealous rages I fly into every now and then so I can see why most men run a mile...)

Silly answer... I'd have to be a bigamist and marry Hazy and Binnsyboy, hopefully they'd both wear a flat cap on the big day. You haven't lived until you've been to a Yorkshire wedding!

(Probably won't go to one again. Might lose a bit of dignity too...)

Serious answer, I'm sure people know, lol.

StormShaun:

JoJo:
Snip

And I'll be the assassin...of course hired by the brovengers.

Also why do I get no love? Or least an invite or position to anyone's wedding...actually I might have but I didn't bother to look. xD

Hey, since you're a member of the Brovengers you got a few general invites by people saying "and the rest of the Brovengers attend".

So anyway, assassins at weddings? That's a new low for the so-called "good" guys, guess power really does corrupt! Nevermind, have fun trying to shoot past my orphan shields :-D

This is the type of thread where I get use out of the Forever Alone meme.

Fappy:

soren7550:

Fappy:

I'm sorry. It seems I have broken many hearts :(

FOR WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!? *cries in a corner*

*realizes that I have an early copy of Pokemon Black 2 to distract me*

Hopefully there are no black cat Pokemon in the new generation lest your sorrow resurfaces!

Well, if I see a Houndoor with my glasses off, it might look like a black cat.

JoJo:
Snip.

Well I guess I have to go if I'm a legit spy and all. :/
They still haven't noticed I work for the "true" good guys...aka me.

Hey, you guys would do worse! All I'm doing is assassinating the cake...that is all.

This is all because I never get a legit invite out of love. :(

As soon as I can figure out the logistics of it, I will marry my brain.

It always makes me feel good, stands by me when even when I drink too much then reminds me why I shouldn't the following morning. It lives on love and caffeine both of which I provide in ample quantity. It plans my day and I really couldn't live without it.

Plus, everyone enjoys a good mindfuck, right?

I wouldn't marry anybody. However, I would crash somebody else's wedding, get absolutely hammered, attempt and fail to hit on the bride, puke on the bouncer (weddings have bouncers, right?) that's kicking me out, then go home and cry in self-pity. It will be tons of fun!

Bachelor forever.

I'm sorry, I know I'm breaking a lot of hearts, but you just can't pin me down like that. I've got things to do, machinations to set forth, intrigues to meddle in, you know how it is.
Disclamer: If you don't actually know how it is, then I suggest you leave my presence for your own safety. Things might potentially get very "how it is" around me.

Though if there ever were a wedding, Caramel, you'd be my best man for sure.
You'd be everybody's best man.

erttheking could be the master of ceremonies.
Mr. Gravesend, I dare say you'd be the wedding coordinator. Yes, I'm putting you in charge of just about everything.
Timelord, here's a check for eight thousand dollars. Merely a formality for the man who has everything, but keep an eye on Mr. Gravesend for me, will you? I don't actually trust him.
Pinkamena, you'd be up for catering. Although this is a fractally hypothetical situation, don't disappoint me.
This would be an Escapist wedding, so I can't choose a DJ better than Gavin.
Daystar would be the flower girl. Yes, I expect you to object. No, I don't care. Wear the skirt and show me your best little girl trot down the aisle.

Yeah, I think that about covers the internet wedding I'll never have.

C F:

Daystar would be the flower girl. Yes, I expect you to object. No, I don't care. Wear the skirt and show me your best little girl trot down the aisle.

image

I'll be the best damn flower girl you've ever seen, and then you'll all be begging me to flower girl your weddings.

Lucem712:
I shall marry you, friendo! EVERYONE GETS A MARRIAGE! YOU GET A MARRIAGE, YOU GET A MARRIAGE!
image

*backs away slowly*

The (now banned) Fawxy. I'll never forget that picture he posted...

Pebkio:
Terminally single, thank you very much. I will gladly have a bachelor party though.

Redlin5 can DJ, because that's a thing now.
Kaleion can lead the roast because why not?
This guy has to organize everything because he's the only one to ever befriend me.
Everyone Else can show up naked and maybe pop out of a cake if they want.

Why I find this to be quite flattering Mr. Uncle Pebkio, I am afraid my leadership skills are quite low and my comedic prowess is not what I would call a strong point either, not to mention that giving a speech in front of thousands of naked people coming out of cakes would be quite terrifying, I'd probably faint or something.

I would marry, MYSELF, to myself, as myself, and plan all the shit myself... All of you are invited to the reception of course, though... After a speech about how awesome I am, there will be BOOZE and not booze if desired, of many flavours, and a lot of music and dancing, or not dancing, nobody is forcing you to act like an idiot, but it is funner to do so.

I did kinda cheat with this one, but that's mainly due to not really having a refined relationship with anyone on teh forumz, maybe just not active enough... Might also be that I just lurk and randomly contribute... because I am awesome.

Kaleion:
Why I find this to be quite flattering Mr. Uncle Pebkio, I am afraid my leadership skills are quite low and my comedic prowess is not what I would call a strong point either, not to mention that giving a speech in front of thousands of naked people coming out of cakes would be quite terrifying, I'd probably faint or something.

Prude.

Besides, everyone knows that the host of a roast is supposed to be the least funny out of everyone else.

ThunderCavalier:
*isn't on here enough to be loved by anyone*

:(

*goes to the corner and cries*

You think thats bad? Look at how long I have been here and my post count, never mentioned in any of these things... I am like an Attention Ninja! That sounds better than "So lonely" anyway. :D

captcha: Garlic, yum

So what you are saying, Captcha, is that I should eat more Garlic and people will want to kiss me and talk to me? Captcha, can you even smell garlic?!

Blood Brain Barrier:
Boudica. Whether she likes it or not.

I would love to see that wedding, but you have to make sure that LittleSlave is your flower girl and that Zeal is your best man(make sure to tell him how much you love ME3 before the wedding begins).

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