Finish the sentence...

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...flaming battle-axe that's also a lightning-summoning guitar? Oh right, because she is my Clemintine and I need her to...

- kill everyone.

Meanwhile in nerd history -

...Jack Black and Tim Schafer really were in the planning stages for Brutal Legend 2, they just didn't want to admit it until they're in alpha-testing.

The next time Ozzy Osborne offers to upgrade my car, I'll...

say: "wait, Ozzy's not a mechanic!"

That's right! I killed . . .

...the world! And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for...

- those meddling kids and their guitar that shoots lightning.

Sometimes I wonder if I should just -

...dance with these skeletons in the pale moonlight.

It'll be a better use of my skills than trying to dance with the flower-girl at that wedding because...

She is actually made of flowers.

Step 2..........

...smash the skeletons to bits and use their bones to build a cannibal's food cage.

But when the food escapes via Flintstones-inspired methods...

- you need to burn it.

Fyre festival is best -

-avoided like the plague.

When a cat naps in your lap, it is imperative you...

- smack it for daring to touch you.

I do enjoy a good -

...animal abuse, apparently.

The next excellent horror movie will feature a monster that...

- kills people by ripping their spines out.

How many roads must -

...killer old men escort children across during a global extinction event before we're done exploring the human condition in that specific way?

Anti-American Eagle is obviously as excited for the next Predator movie as I am, but neither of us expected the surprise hit in...

Robert Rodriguez's Predators.

The orgy was brought to a grinding halt by. . .

- the guns shoved in the back of the people who didn't realize they were a sacrifice.

I am -

The Dragon Warrior!

Get it! see the giant. . .

- man, eating our children!

Stop it now while we still -

have children to offer as tribute to be spared from Yyog Sossoth.

Get Ready to feel the . . .

- burning taste of the new Gatorade!

It's fire-ifficly -

designed to burn the esophagus.

The academy award for the female orgasm goes to. . .

Geoffrey rush! Wait really?

When you get down to brass tacks.............

you have to wonder why they are making tacks out of brass.

My warriors, follow me and I shall lead you to. . .

a disappointing meal and really bad music.

This button will...

......Open the door to the elevator.

Why did you tell......

Johnny to buzz off? now he thinks he's a fly!

Oh great, I think I just stepped in. . .

- my neighbours blood.

Somebody once told me -

you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend.

If you can't beat them. . .

- splatter them across the pavement. That'll stop them.

dead in their tracks!

I was too spicy for. . .

- my clocks.

How many clocks does it take to -

to make a clockwork golem?

The Broncos incredible run to their Super Bowl 50 championship made me feel . . .

nauseous.

I can't think of a more appropriate time to...

go streaking!

Did you know that in Baton Rouge it is illegal to ride a giraffe while. . .

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