Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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granted, but it's 15 layers of human..

I wish for a new dog!

Granted it has incontinence.
I wish for something to do.

Granted, unfortunately it's something you loathe.

I wish my room would clean itself.

Granted every twenty four hours it purges every thing inside it.

I wish for ten green bottles sitting on the wall.

Granted, those ten green bottles are green because Shrek pissed in them.

I wish for card games on motorcycles.

Granted, but there will be an embarrasing abridged dub on the internet for every game you play!

I wish there was real life BGM.

Granted but the Music is just a constant tone of A flat.

I wish for some interesting music.

Granted, but you don't like it.

I wish I knew what to do with my life.

Everything is too perfect and fine you go insane-er! :3

I wish for summer! :D

Granted, but not where you are. :P

I wish for a nice tasting smoothie.

I don't get it :/

OT: Granted. You get the worlds greatest smoothie!

I wish for a Huggle!

Granted. You suffocate.

I wish for a cool hat.

Granted, you obtain Yahtzee's. His wrath will be directed at you.

I wish for a real life zoom function in my eyes.

Granted, every time you zoom you can never un-zoom.

I wish it was Friday.

Granted, but you wouldn't know which seat to take! ...Oh God...why...

Uhm, I wish I had a pool of jelly in my backyard!

Granted, the jelly is piss flavored.

I wish to get a reply on the email I sent.

You recieve the email reply, but attached is a virus which wipes your hard drive.

I wish I could go back to the good old days...

Granted. You inadvertently cause a paradox that wipes you from existence.

I wish for more Skyrim mods.

Granted. They're all about the sexy mudcrabs.

I wish I had more Capteins.

Granted, but.. I don't know what the hell that is..

I wish I was Deadpool (from xmen)

Granted, but you lack the regeneration, so you die. (Also, Zee Captein is... just read that comic)

OT: I wish I could undestand people.

Granted, but the understanding is to great and your break down, forever spending time in an asylum.

I wish for chocolate cake.

Granted. There is a small piece of chocolate, smaller than a Hershey Kiss, shaped like a cake.

I wish for disappointment.

Granted, but you get very satisfied by it.

I wish for more cakes to throw in Para's face.

Granted, but he throws them in your face before you have the chance to throw them in his.

I wish for brownies.

Granted, but you can't eat them.

I wish I could meet Keanu Reeves.

Granted, you both die and meet in hell.

I wish there were more trees.

Granted, but at the cost of water.

I wish for Swiss chocolates.

Granted, however, the provider thought you said Swiss Cheese. So now you have some very old cheese that somehow tastes like chocolate, but is covered with knives.

I wish JLML would get out of my appartment.

Granted. He goes to your parents' house.

I wish, I wish, I was a fish!

Granted. I'll eat you for dinner tonight. ^-^

I wish I could remember that which I'd like to remember and forget that which I don't.

Granted........the devil,err, eats your memory?

I wish to make sense of things.

Granted, but then you spend the rest of your life cursed with the understanding of everything to come, essentially destroying any surprises in your life

I wish to be more organised

Granted, you are dismembered and sorted alhpabeticly in several filing cabnets.

I wish I had bacon

Granted, but it's way too old to eat.

I wish I had better memory.

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