Ask Commander Shepard!

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Garrus! I have a question which must be answered for the fate of the galaxy. Or for my curiosity. And Parashep isn't here at the moment.

How did the two of you avoid chafing? And did Shepard remember not to ingest?

Phenomenis:
Garrus! I have a question which must be answered for the fate of the galaxy. Or for my curiosity. And Parashep isn't here at the moment.

How did the two of you avoid chafing? And did Shepard remember not to ingest?

I'm going to paraphrase a certain violent thug I know and say:

None of your goddamn business

How long do you think it's going to be until Tali'Zorah makes an account here?

G Vakarian:

Phenomenis:
Garrus! I have a question which must be answered for the fate of the galaxy. Or for my curiosity. And Parashep isn't here at the moment.

How did the two of you avoid chafing? And did Shepard remember not to ingest?

I'm going to paraphrase a certain violent thug I know and say:

None of your goddamn business

That's goddamn right, it isn't.

(For the record, this would've happened hours before the Omega 4 mission, and she didn't seem to have any health problems then, so I'd say whatever they did, they probably did it right.)

Jailbird408:
How long do you think it's going to be until Tali'Zorah makes an account here?

I just asked, and she said she avoids using her real name because she gets constantly pestered online for being both a woman and a goddamn quarian. Can't say I blame her; if I had to endure endless droves of slackjawed goddamn retards making jokes about goddamn sandwitches, hospitals, and sandwitches in hospitals, I'd probably try to avoid the harassment too.

Zaeed Massani:
*snip*

Dear sweet god I love this thread and I love you. I read that entire thing in your voice, Zaeed.

Now, a question for Zaeed. Hm...a question for Zaeed...

Oh! I got one.

Do you ever get the urge to go back to Omega, walk right up to whoever leads the Blue Suns after all this time, and proclaim your dominance? Because if it were me on the other end of that conversation, I wouldn't want to mess with a badass such as yourself.

You must get the itch to get back out there and do some killing, right? For Jessie?

Z of the Na'vi:

Zaeed Massani:
*snip*

Dear sweet god I love this thread and I love you. I read that entire thing in your voice, Zaeed.

Now, a question for Zaeed. Hm...a question for Zaeed...

Oh! I got one.

Do you ever get the urge to go back to Omega, walk right up to whoever leads the Blue Suns after all this time, and proclaim your dominance? Because if it were me on the other end of that conversation, I wouldn't want to mess with a badass such as yourself.

You must get the itch to get back out there and do some killing, right? For Jessie?

I'll assume for the sake of my own goddamn sanity that you mean after we took care of Vido.

Yeah, I did go hunting Suns a few times after, but I just didn't get the satisfaction out of it that I used to. I used to see them as my own men that betrayed me in favour of that slimy son-of-a-bitch, which at first they were, but now as far as I'm concerned they're just another pile of shit amid a goddamn landfill. Most of the members weren't even around when I was in charge anyway.

That's most of the reason why I never tried to regain leadership of it, either. My first order would probably be something along the lines of goddamn Roman decimation.

As for killing in general, well, I certainly still get quite enough of that. I'm still half-assedly considering finding the old discontinued parts to fix Jessie back up, but they stopped making that model after the introduction of goddamn thermal clips. If you're curious, I've been using a Revenant that Shepard gave me. Won't win any marksmanship contests with it, but it'll put down just about anything at about mid-range.

Ok this is for both Shepards, are there any other sci-fi verses you'd like to visit for a little bit before returning back to your own verse?

dalek sec:
Ok this is for both Shepards, are there any other sci-fi verses you'd like to visit for a little bit before returning back to your own verse?

Well, I suppose I can't speak for Shepard, but something tells me that one particular version would likely enjoy a certain setting known for it's goddamn green women.

As for myself? Well... I've always figured that I could take a Jedi. I mean, come on, twits, stop using goddamn lasers and find a real gun. Pin him down with supressing fire and have one of my mates go around and flank him. Can't block from two directions at once, now, can he?

Barring that, try a shotgun. You can't reflect goddamn matter, so the best he'd be able to do is block, and even then, his goddamn lightsaber wouldn't be thick enough to block all of the pellets. They don't use any armour, so one goddamn shot on the mark and you'd be home free.

Then I'd live in the goddamn mountain of credits I'd make for being the only bounty hunter to figure that out.

Zaeed Massani:
I've always figured that I could take a Jedi. I mean, come on, twits, stop using goddamn lasers and find a real gun. Pin him down with supressing fire and have one of my mates go around and flank him. Can't block from two directions at once, now, can he?

No, they can't. They CAN, however, leap over you and stab you in the back.
Also, shotguns didn't exist a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

I think it's safe to say that the Sheps have lost all interest in this thread.

Fijiman:
I think it's safe to say that the Sheps have lost all interest in this thread.

Not when we keep bumping it they won't!

Jailbird408:

Zaeed Massani:
I've always figured that I could take a Jedi. I mean, come on, twits, stop using goddamn lasers and find a real gun. Pin him down with supressing fire and have one of my mates go around and flank him. Can't block from two directions at once, now, can he?

No, they can't. They CAN, however, leap over you and stab you in the back.
Also, shotguns didn't exist a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

I have to imagine that a jump like that would severely hinder their ability to keep blocking, and I'm not exactly a bad shot. Also, I figured I could take my own goddamn gear with me.

Another note: I don't care how fast your reflexes are or how well you can block; If I got a clean shot at you with a goddamn Cain, you and everything in a good 30-Meter radius would be fried.

I've got a better match-up, I think; Jedi vs Cerberus Phantom. I'm not entirely sure who'd win that one.

Fijiman:
I think it's safe to say that the Sheps have lost all interest in this thread.

No, it's just I have a lot of stuff to do.

That and it's summer. Have you seen Tali in a bikini?

I haven't either, but I aim to find out what she looks like.

Jailbird408:
How long do you think it's going to be until Tali'Zorah makes an account here?

When she wears that bikini I got her, damn it.

Zaeed Massani:
Gritty snip

Oh, hey Zaeed.

I was always wondering, do you get as many girls as Garrus, with how many scars you have?

image
What does Grunt think of that?

Jailbird408:
image
What does Grunt think of that?

I think he lost some respect for me after showing him that.

He just gave me one of those head shakes parents give their kids when they get arrested or something.

And frankly, even I think that's one of the freakiest goddamn things I've seen in my life.

And I'm the guy who saw the worst the galaxy has to offer.

Like Tali's face.

I'm kidding.

Maybe.

Speaking of Tali:


I have no idea why I'm doing this.

Renegade Shepard:
snip

Hey! I'm throwing my ex-fandom in your face here!

Renegade Shep, how do you feel about your portrayal in the following video?

Hi folks..sorry I've been away....I've been off negotiating certain things regarding the "true story" of what happened at the final assault on the citadel

Phenomenis:
To Parashep and Garrus:

How did the two of you avoid chafing? Did you remember to use Mordin's ointment? And, most importantly, did you Shepard, remember not to ingest?

that's private...I will however confirm that yes...the Rumours of Garuss's reach are in fact true

The Jakeinator:
Oh, you're back.

So tell me Shepard, what do you think about the Council?
And What is the most embarrassing moment you endured?
Worst injury?

1. they are.........shall we say misguided and leave it at that

2.I would say Mordins unsolicated advice regarding....*ahem* me and Garrus

3. being blown up in the biggest cosmic explosion known to the universe..probably

Renegade Shepard:

Renshep, hey there, I know we havn't spoken in a while..I'm sorry for not at least making contact...its just

WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT!!??

G Vakarian:
[snip.

hey Garrus.....do you have any Idea about this? (again, sorry for droping out of the loop like that)

Knife-28:
Renegade Shep, how do you feel about your portrayal in the following video?

that music...there's.. something really odd about it...like...it makes me want to cry...I..I....*sob*

I have to go

dalek sec:
Ok this is for both Shepards, are there any other sci-fi verses you'd like to visit for a little bit before returning back to your own verse?

sci fi universes?...I'm...not really aware..of

....uh..what are you exactaly?

Renegade Shepard:
Alright, here's this.

Matthew, your attempts to get my topic shut down ended with you getting a warning. Maybe it's high time you learn when that there's a fine line between voicing your opinion and being a guy who's as punchable as a nosy reporter.

Heronblade, thanks for being a voice of reason, but I can handle guys like this. Not the first time someone got all antsy about me being on The Escapist.

irmasterlol, it's usually Parashep's job to derail this topic, I'm going to have to ask for a resume of your derailing qualifications.

wow Renshep, you actually sound reasonable for once, I'm proud of you

but yes, its a shame to see this thread has attracted some.."controversy"

Fijiman:
Have you seen Parashep lately? Also, what is your crews current happiness level?

again, I apologise for not making contact.....as I said I've been out on a secret mission involving revealing what truly happned back on earth and the citadel

Fieldy409:
Hey Shepard. How come you never got promoted after saving the galaxy twice?

there was never time you know? it was one thing after the other

though If I do say so myself once this is all over I imagine there will be a promotion heading my way...and mabye a planet...a nice one

....

hey just because I'm Paragon doesn't mean I can't indulge?

Matthew94:
snip.

If it bothers you that much perhaps Renshep could get it moved there?

Frission:
Shepard(s), which of your crew members would in your opinion be the most capable of defeating you in a straight fight? What about if they had time to prepare?

Me?

Garrus..most definitely....

that charm is just too much for even commander shepard to handle

Socdemparty:
Some people care WAY too much about the status of this thread.

OT: You have a choice; fight the Reapers, or fight the political redtape and needless bureaucracy of the Council and other present institutions.

Which would you prefer and why?

lets just say I find the reapers are alot more pleasant to deal with

Renegade Shepard:

No, it's just I have a lot of stuff to do.

That and it's summer. Have you seen Tali in a bikini?

I havn't

however I have seen you in your speedos and....well

I have concern for the well being of others within a 100 mile radius

Jailbird408:


What does Grunt think of that?

d d d...did Cerberus do that?!

oh god....GRUNT!!! NOO!

Paragon Shepard:

G Vakarian:
[snip.

hey Garrus.....do you have any Idea about this? (again, sorry for droping out of the loop like that)

Don't look at me, I have no recollection of who took that picture or how it happened. I'm starting to think that Renegade spiked my drink.

Paragon Shepard:

Frission:
Shepard(s), which of your crew members would in your opinion be the most capable of defeating you in a straight fight? What about if they had time to prepare?

Me?

Garrus..most definitely....

that charm is just too much for even commander shepard to handle

Thank you for the vote of confidence, although I'd like to think it would be more a matter of my skill than my rugged good looks.

Zaeed Massani:

Jailbird408:

Zaeed Massani:
I've always figured that I could take a Jedi. I mean, come on, twits, stop using goddamn lasers and find a real gun. Pin him down with supressing fire and have one of my mates go around and flank him. Can't block from two directions at once, now, can he?

No, they can't. They CAN, however, leap over you and stab you in the back.
Also, shotguns didn't exist a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

I have to imagine that a jump like that would severely hinder their ability to keep blocking, and I'm not exactly a bad shot. Also, I figured I could take my own goddamn gear with me.

Another note: I don't care how fast your reflexes are or how well you can block; If I got a clean shot at you with a goddamn Cain, you and everything in a good 30-Meter radius would be fried.

I've got a better match-up, I think; Jedi vs Cerberus Phantom. I'm not entirely sure who'd win that one.

Those abilities of theirs tend to nullify quite most conventional tactics. You'd have to outsmart them, not just outgun. An alert Jedi that knows what they're doing would be able to detonate a Cain round in your face. A Phantom wouldn't be able to hide, and their sword is quickly rendered useless. Multiple shotgun rounds might work, but I would first try something that keeps me away from that laser sword of theirs, and keep the shotgun on hand for plan B. That might just be me though.

There are a number of toxic gasses subtle enough that the force user probably wouldn't notice something was wrong until too late. Take carbon monoxide for instance. You humans seem to have a severe problem with it, but my people are barely effected. (due to the hemocyanin in our blood instead of hemoglobin) Flood the room, wait until the target is sluggish and slow to respond, and hit them with a couple of bursts using an Incisor from a distance. Having a biotic on hand to counter that weird telekinetic stuff they do would help.

Renegade Shepard:

Oh, hey Zaeed.

I was always wondering, do you get as many girls as Garrus, with how many scars you have?

Yeah, but they tend not to be what you'd call desirable. I'm pretty sure Jack was hitting on me once, but I get a little skeeved out at the thought of somebody who could crush my goddamn bones with a thought.

G Vakarian:
Those abilities of theirs tend to nullify quite most conventional tactics. You'd have to outsmart them, not just outgun. An alert Jedi that knows what they're doing would be able to detonate a Cain round in your face. A Phantom wouldn't be able to hide, and their sword is quickly rendered useless. Multiple shotgun rounds might work, but I would first try something that keeps me away from that laser sword of theirs, and keep the shotgun on hand for plan B. That might just be me though.

There are a number of toxic gasses subtle enough that the force user probably wouldn't notice something was wrong until too late. Take carbon monoxide for instance. You humans seem to have a severe problem with it, but my people are barely effected. (due to the hemocyanin in our blood instead of hemoglobin) Flood the room, wait until the target is sluggish and slow to respond, and hit them with a couple of bursts using an Incisor from a distance. Having a biotic on hand to counter that weird telekinetic stuff they do would help.

I'd still favour an automatic over a goddamn sniper rifle, I think. Jedi apparently possess limited precognition, so it's likely that they'd be able to block that first shot you made. With an automatic, though, they'd be forced to continue blocking and the chances of one of your shots making it through become a bit higher, I think. Also, as I said, if you could lay enough goddamn suppression on him to force him to stay out, you could have somebody else flank him.

As for gas... I'm pretty sure they tried that in one of the movies we don't talk about, and it didn't work. Would they be able to goddamn 'sense' an invisible gas, though? Not sure.

Zaeed Massani:

Renegade Shepard:

Oh, hey Zaeed.

I was always wondering, do you get as many girls as Garrus, with how many scars you have?

Yeah, but they tend not to be what you'd call desirable. I'm pretty sure Jack was hitting on me once, but I get a little skeeved out at the thought of somebody who could crush my goddamn bones with a thought.

G Vakarian:
Those abilities of theirs tend to nullify quite most conventional tactics. You'd have to outsmart them, not just outgun. An alert Jedi that knows what they're doing would be able to detonate a Cain round in your face. A Phantom wouldn't be able to hide, and their sword is quickly rendered useless. Multiple shotgun rounds might work, but I would first try something that keeps me away from that laser sword of theirs, and keep the shotgun on hand for plan B. That might just be me though.

There are a number of toxic gasses subtle enough that the force user probably wouldn't notice something was wrong until too late. Take carbon monoxide for instance. You humans seem to have a severe problem with it, but my people are barely effected. (due to the hemocyanin in our blood instead of hemoglobin) Flood the room, wait until the target is sluggish and slow to respond, and hit them with a couple of bursts using an Incisor from a distance. Having a biotic on hand to counter that weird telekinetic stuff they do would help.

I'd still favour an automatic over a goddamn sniper rifle, I think. Jedi apparently possess limited precognition, so it's likely that they'd be able to block that first shot you made. With an automatic, though, they'd be forced to continue blocking and the chances of one of your shots making it through become a bit higher, I think. Also, as I said, if you could lay enough goddamn suppression on him to force him to stay out, you could have somebody else flank him.

As for gas... I'm pretty sure they tried that in one of the movies we don't talk about, and it didn't work. Would they be able to goddamn 'sense' an invisible gas, though? Not sure.

That's why I would pick the Incisor. In spite of the odds, they may still be coherent enough to block individual shots, but three rounds arriving within a few milliseconds of each other is likely another story. My understanding was that they can hold their breath for ridiculous periods of time, and a few individuals can even neutralize toxins, but for both cases they have to be aware of it.

Paragon Shepard:

Knife-28:
Self Snip

that music...there's.. something really odd about it...like...it makes me want to cry...I..I....*sob*

I have to go

...

What?

What is the coolest thing you have seen in the last week or so?

Fijiman:
What is the coolest thing you have seen in the last week or so?

I was going to say something about Noveria until I remembered that I hate goddamn smart-asses.

I've seen a lot of shit, but for the past week I've been doing nothing but wandering around the goddamn citadel trying to find some Salarian who refused to pay his gambling debts.

Although, the other day, I did see an Elcor trip. That was... interesting.

Paragon Shepard:

Phenomenis:
To Parashep and Garrus:

How did the two of you avoid chafing? Did you remember to use Mordin's ointment? And, most importantly, did you Shepard, remember not to ingest?

that's private...I will however confirm that yes...the Rumours of Garuss's reach are in fact true

So, with Garrus and his reach certainly up to standard, do you think you were able to rise to the occasion with your flexibility?

And Garrus, did you remember to savour the last shot before you popped the heat sink? Or did it all go somewhere horrible?

image

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