I declare war on ___ with ___.

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I declare war on fish with air!

I declare war on a moose with robots.

Captcha: that hurts. And?

I declare war on fudge with lager.

I declare war on poverty with cheap beer.

I declare war on pool halls with smoke machines.

I declare war on smoke with industrial power fans!

I declare war on overheating with ice.

I declare war on heat with fans.

I declare war on the forest with machine guns.

I declare war on your nasal passageways with flatulence!

I declare war on pleasure with sneezing.

I declare war on your sneezing with personal protective equipment.

I declare war on things with stuff.

I declare war on dudes with mortars.

I declare war on communism with capitalism.

I declare war on NASA with incessant workplace snacking.

I declare war on fruit with vegetables!

I declare war on card tricks with SMGs!

I declare war on war with peace!

I declare war on Ebert with fleas.

I declare war on cats with dogs.

I declare war on dats with cogs.

I declare war on American English with English English.

I declare war on Ben Stiller with Matt Damon.

I declare war on Pixels with the world.

I declare war on Steve Cougan's career with looted Nazi gold.

I declare war on soccer with football.

I declare war on bananas with strawberries.

I declare war on the patriots with the broncos

I declare war on plastics with rubbers.

I declare war on golf with pool

I declare war on the pool with dive bombing.

I declare war on boredom with David Bowie flying in on a tiger made of lightning.

I declare war on pork chops with bacon.

I declare war on Batman with Batman.

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