The Pub ver. 2.0: Meta RP and Character Workshop (Always Open)

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Diablo1099:
Ranged Weapons?

Lilith was a bit too busy rubbing her arm to fully take into consideration what Uncle Wesker was telling her. But a the gist of it set in. Turning to him, she produced a couple of pistol like devices from her holster.

"Enclave Plasma Pistols... the best side arm a scout can get. I busted my rifle on the way in... but I've got these beauts." She said as she spotted one of the Zombies entering the field. Taking aim with one the one in her left hand, she pulled the trigger. The pistol hummed briefly before to shot out a glowing green blob of energy.

The two tracked the blob as it flew towards its target and went wide.

"Dammit! I never miss. This arm aches like hell." She said as she squeezed off another shot, this one from the pistol in her right hand, the blob striking home this time and dissolving the zombie into a puddle of green glowing goo.

"Here you go uncle Wesker!" She said as she rubbed her left arm... this time up towards her mid bicep.

Disasterchild:
MURDER RAY PARTY!

Jake sighed.

"Roy, explain."

Roy: Listen ummm...author guy? Hollows, Shinigami, and the like can't be seen by ungifted people in the living world. We can't get jobs in Hollywood, and we can't really interact directly with 9/10 of humanity aside from touching and or hurting them because they don't have the reiatsu to enhance their senses.

"Of course, those who survive attacks by Hollows tend to develop power, so all is not lost. It's just that eventually Neil will have to go to a living realm because he's alive, and generally these realms lack the same level of energy as Hueco Mundo...so it's like breathing on top of a mountain."

Being an Arrancar was hardly perfect. It merely had good perks. Oh, and about Mass' body? Nope. He shrugged at Kurumu.

Trent: Dear lady, there is NEVER a time when I am not up to something. Even when I'm not doing anything, I'm at least making rather suspicious denials just to lull those around me into a false sense of paranoia...which is funny as hell.

He laughed.

Trent: Of course, I should point out two VERY important things. One, I do not CARE if people actually know I'm not what I seem. Invariably, the product is far too good to pass up, many times. And two...you shouldn't confuse me for your pantheon. My origins, and thus also my motivations, are my own.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

As soon as he saw her making battle preparations, arching an eyebrow for a moment at the movement under her clothes, John raised his hand in indication that it wasn't really necessary.

John: Don't bother. It's from far off. Some arsehole reaching out an' touching someone. Why me, I don't bloody know.

YOU WERE THERE.

Again, the voice shuddered their their minds. Persistant, isn't he?

John: And just who in the hell are you, then, loud-mouth?

I AM...

John: Oh, bugger all, not this shite again.

IN DEFIANCE OF HE WHO IS 'I AM', I CALL.

THOUGH I AM CHAINED TO FIRE AND ASH, I AM VICTORIOUS.

OMEGA TO ALPHA, ADVERSARY TO THE MOST HIGH,

I AM LUCIFER.

AND I WISH TO MAKE...A DEAL.

John: Oh, for fuck's sake, yer worse than Swamp Thing with that nonsense! What the hell do you want?!

OUT.

John: I've got news for you, mate. Not only is the old John not interested in releasin' the Devil, but I'm also not piss drunk enough to believe there's any advantage in it for me.

YOU COULD SAVE A WORLD...

YOU COULD SAVE THE WOMAN AT YOUR SIDE...

IF YOU MERELY EXPERDITE MY FREEDOM.

John: An' piss on someone else's flat in the process? Call back when I'm senile.

WITH THE OTHERS NO LONGER HERE, THIS EARTH WILL BE MINE...

IN A THOUSAND YEARS, OR A MILLION, OR A BILLION... IT IS INEVITABLE.

BUT AS I AM IMPATIENT, I WILL ENTERTAIN OFFERS... DISCUSS.

To itself, the last Angel of the Second Impact closed its five eyes and relaxed its four arms and two cloven legs. It had nothing better to, nothing at all, than to attempt some manner of premature release from its bondage, one which there was no longer a jailer to reinforce. Now, it would just have to see if John was willing to play a most dangerous game to get what he - and most likely April - would want.

Location: The Writer's Booth and The Bar
Subjects: Mark, Jake and Roy | Kurumu and Massacre

It should be pointed out that Mark wasn't in any fear of Roy going into Hollywood and being a celebriant/celebritard as it were. There were plenty enough of those. He was just voicing his past frustrations.

However, when it came to the topic of Neil.

"You could always ship Neil off to the same place we shipped the Diclonii girls. Sure he's alive but you could hardly call him human. Best place to put him would be some place where he'd be normal... well... relatively... not to say that Yokai Academy would be any sort of normal." Mark suggested. Sure he might be the most human looking of the bunch but there was no way in hell that even an S-Class monster would be able to best Neil and Regis without losing say... a few limbs in the exchange. Plus... there were a few Diclonii girls that owed the Pub a favor for getting them out of their dimension and some place safe.

Suddenly, a rather technologically advanced bucket appeared above Mark's head and started inserting various cleaning apparatuses into the Writer's ears and through his nose.

"Erm... removing notions of shipping from my brain."

Last thing he wanted was Neil to be another Tsukune Aono.

Back to Kurumu and Massacre.

"You forget that the nature of a demon is like the nature of a human... universal no matter what dimension you hail from. No matter what your origins... you're still a demon and abide by the same characteristics and mindset. Not to say that you're a one dimensional being... it's just... well... let's face it... we were all born this way." Kurumu countered Massacre's argument.

For instance... products that are too good to pass up... that was Djinn territory... wishes that came at a price. Offers and trades... that was demon tempter territory. Trent might as well have had the face of Bernie Madoff.


Location: Room 777 (Because room 666 would have been to cliche)
Subject: Lucifer.

Splash! Quack Quack Quack!

Those were the sounds that came from the rented room that belonged to Lucifer... not the one that John Constantine was talking to at the time but rather the other one that had been in the Pub for quite some time now.

However... when the other Lucifer reached out to John... this version of the Adversary heard it as well and he was suddenly reminded of the other impostors that he had to deal with recently.

For instance... there was that bitch Dani... originally a God Emperor worshiping Harlot that he had taken in to become his second in command. She started making claims that she ruled hell. That was until Lucifer drove her face into an immovable rock that he had asked the Boss to make on a whim. He was going to challenge her to move the rock but instead, she moved the universe around it. Anyways... he didn't get any trouble from Dani after that.

Then there was the self styled Lucifer that was also called the Lord of Nightmares. He ended that by banishing him back to the Sea of Chaos. Fucking Amateurs.

And now this... some Goro / Pan hybrid?

Placing his rubber duckies gently on the side of the tub, Lucifer called for his cadre of Demonettes to help dry him off before he was one again clad in his tailored Italian suit. His blonde hair was now slicked back and he had shaved off his eternal 5 o clock shadow.

Ensuring that the Sword of Rebellions was with him in his Hell Space envelope, Lucifer quietly left the room and started walking towards the outside, where the receivers were.


Location: The Outside
Subject: April and John

April looked at John for a moment and shook her head. She was listening in on this conversation and there was no way that she would jeopardize more people than the reduced number that existed in her plain of existence. Better to die over and over again just to supply them with the drugs that they needed.

"Tell him no, John." She said as she held her Sword... the one that she had liberated from the Lucifer of her dimension. However... there was a spot in her heart that told her that this guy was the only way that she could get out of the game... never have to worry about hunting another Angel and never watch any kids... the ones that looked like Neil... die or become orphans or be born addicted to the very thing she sold.

For a moment... she was weak... but it felt like an eternity in a place where time didn't exist.

Disasterchild:
Dueling Devils?

Roy: I have been thinking about what to do with him. However, even saying it like that makes me feel like I'm abandoning Neil, when his very existence almost makes me feel like all that I went through was worth it. I dunno anything about this academy, but I want him to have a normal human childhood, one better than I ever did.

"What's the matter, Mark? Afraid he'll get swarmed by the Diclonii under Lucy's care?"

Meanwhile, Kurumu was trying to call Mass/Trent out on being no different from the rest. He simply called out to the Writer.

Trent: Yo, Jake! In the 15 years you've known me, do I seem like hold to any normal evil course?

"Nope!"

And...he turned back to Kurumu.

Trent: Sorry, but your argument's been WOG'd to death. True, that it might seem like running an empire/corporation and offering services to others while intermittently causing destruction might SEEM like a typical villain thing to do, none of that - or anything ELSE that I do - is because I have to be that way. I do it because it's FUN. But I don't have to do ANYTHING that's expected of me. Go take your labels elsewhere, else I'll summon Eric and sort you and the rest of your underworld out.

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John smirked.

John: You heard the lady. On your horse.

YOU ARE A BLINK OF THE EYE OF ETERNITY.

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE TO YOU?

John: Well, it means alot to you, and I'm not in the habit of makin' deals. If you're able to reach in here by thought, then you're able to cross dimensions, an' that means you'll more than likely come calling at some point. Never make a deal with the Devil unless you know you're one step ahead of the game.

YOUR DEMONS WILL FIND YOU, CONSTANTINE.

THAT GAME HAS NO WINNING MOVE.

John: Neither does yours. You think we're actually dumb enough to believe you.

YOUR PITIFUL LIVES ARE ALL THAT YOU HAVE TO VALUE OR LOSE.

IF YOU CANNOT SAVE YOURSELVES, THEN YOU HAVE NOT A PRAYER.

John: Enough with the song an' dance, mate. We heard it all before and it just doesn't do anything for us.

VERY WELL...

SHOULD YOUR WORLD SURVIVE, I WILL INDEED SNUFF IT OUT LATER.

FOR YOUR ARROGANCE...

John: Lousy twat. Fucking mental tourists...

John finished a beer, started another, and was generally grumbling now.

FalloutJack:
SNIP

And then it his Mark like a metaphorical ton of bricks, not unlike the literal ones that he had been subjected to every time he made for the Karaoke machine. He snap of his fingers indicated that a thought had crystalized in his thick skull.

"Jake... you're running some sort of strange character eugenics program aren't you?" Mark said, pointing a finger at his fellow writer.

If you looked at it... it started with Fallout Jack. From Fallout Jack + Lucy, you got Natsuki. From Natsuki became a dead end Jake wise until Mark have introduced Lilith.

From Puce and Kurumu we got Jac, a Enermance/Incubus hybrid.

From Roy and Ellie we now had Neil.

The next logical step would be to add be a Diclonius infected Neil offspring... but who would be the mother of such a child? That remained to be seen.

"Okay Docter Mendel... what's next?" Mark asked with a chuckle. It wasn't that Mark was afraid that Neil would get dog piled by a bunch of adolescent Diclonii girls... he was afraid of what Jake was going to bring in next. For all he knew Neil would get infected, grow up at a more rapid pace due to the Pub's temporal distortions and he would get with Mizore Shiriyaki. Jake HAD mentioned that he enjoyed Mizore as a character.

But this was a bit off topic... the thoughts of a bipolar Asian Writer.

Kurumu on the other hand just threw her arms up in frustration. Talking to Massacre was like talking to ... well... am arrogant, silver spoon raised, teenager.

"Whatever... good luck with whatever you're up to." She said to the jackass in human form. She wasn't even going to begin asking who Eric was...


Lucifer had passed through one of the doors in the hall of doors, tracking down who ever it was that deemed to call himself Lucifer as well.

And there he was... locked up on a rock of a planet.

"So... you're the jack ass who thinks that you're me..." Lucifer said to Lucifer.

And with that... the two started their discussion.


April finished her bottle as well, tossing it up into the cosmos and watched as it floated off in a curious little bit of gravitational folly. It should have came back to her since she had thrown it straight up... but it just continued to drift upwards.

BLAM!!!

The sword, turned pistol spoke and shattered the bottle.

"So... what's a guy like you doing in a hell hole like this anyhow?" She asked John as she reached for another one of his beers. It might have been the alcohol talking but we're talking about a girl who drank Red Wine mixed with Angel's blood on an hourly basis.... so it must have been... something else.

Disasterchild:
HUH?!

Jake STARED at Mark like his head was on fire.

[color=crimson]"What in god's name are you talking about?"[/crimson]

And then, John was a zombie. And then, Mark's head was on fire.

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Yes, Lucifer saw...Lucifer.

Okay, this is going to be weird, like...inventing new pronouns weird.

Anyway...

It was big. You know how big the Beast was in Doctor Who? Bigger. He was literally stuck to the side of the planet, the sun-side of it. The shade of burnt flesh, though the flesh seemed not to be particularly ruined by the heat of course. Roughly a humanoid, in the sense of the proper shape. Cloven feet, muscular body, four arms, tail ending in a massive talon, etc. The face was truly demonic. Was it a lipless sneer of a monster's face full of curved fangs or like Agrajag from Hitchhiker's Guide? Hard to say. Mere slits for nostrals, and five blazing eyes flanked by two horns. In the center of its chest was a blood-red core, showing like a sideways eye without pupil or iris. In its stomach, arms, and legs were no less than THIRTEEN GIGANTIC LANCES OF LONGINUS, not like the stuff at NERV but the real deal puncturing through him and miles into the planet. This is what held him here.

AH, THE OTHER LUCIFER...

ARE WE SO VAIN THAT ONLY ONE MAY EXIST?

OR IS IT THAT GOING NATIVE HAS MADE YOU PECULIAR?

Oh, he did NOT just insinuate that!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Hey, he brought the beers out for the both of them.

John: Well naturally, a bar like this attracts the attention of the sixth-and-up senses. I thought I'd walk in an' give his nibs a bit of a hard time. 'Course, now that I'm here and we're talkin', I wouldn't mind givin' you a hand if I knew where to get started. It's a rough spot.

FalloutJack:
[quote="Disasterchild" post="540.386742.15909657"]MERP!

Despite his head being consumed by some sort of fiery out of control conflagration, Mark simply sat there calmly as if he wasn't aware that his head was on fire at the moment. Picking up a glass of water he sipped it... testing to see if it was water or vodka.

Satisfied, he poured the entire glass on his head.

PSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

And out the flames went.

Regarding Jake for a moment, he shook his head.

"Gregory Mendel? Father of Genetics? He experimented with pea plants and derived our earliest understandings of characters passed down from parents to offspring. Given the trend since Pub 2.0's inception... I was just thinking that if Neil were to go off to the Academy... he'd meet a Diclonus girl, get whacked with one of her vectors and eventually find a real girl. The offspring would not only be diclonus but have inherited whatever powers Neil has... ie the Death Bomb absorption deal." Mark said, still calm... like the eye of a hurricane calm.

"I hope that was sufficient explanation for you?" Mark said before turning to Roy.

"As for Yokai Academy... we've used it as a safe house for paranormal kids to fit in with normal society. In fact there's a whole host of girls there that we just dropped off prior to you coming into this Pub." The Asian Writer explained.

"As much as you might think of you abandoning your son... I hardly think that this is the safest and healthiest environment for him to be raised in. What about schooling? Does he even know how to read, writer, do math?" Mark asked the Arrancar father.


On that rock of a planet that eternally faced the sun, it felt rather like home to ... uhh ... Lucifer... uhh... let's just call my Lucifer Loo.

Anyhow, Loo regarded Lucifer, the big one chained to the planet for a while before responding to his barb.

"No... it's not that I've gone native... it's just probable that my original purpose doesn't quite fit with your original purpose. While I'm an Arcangel wrapped up in the garb of the Arch-enemy to The Boss... what're you... the real deal?" Loo asked of the chained one.

"And no I'm not here to kill you... just see if you were one of those upstarts that claimed to be me. You look like the real deal... mostly. Not too subtle though. I could spot you as being the adversary 10 miles away." Loo said as he finally warmed up to the business at hand.

"So ... you want your freedom and I want one Angel Hunter off the market. I think this is one of those I win you win deals. I could free you in exchange for you avoiding my dimension all together. It's MY dimension and I have enough issues as it is and in exchange for the Angel Hunting Bitch's uterus on a plate." Loo offered though he knew making a deal with 'himself' was a bit fraught with risk.

"Fail me... and I'm gonna make sure you get turned into a human soul and spend time eternally tortured in Hell." The adversary warned.

"So... what do you say... freedom for a bitch's uterus?"


The fact was that April had no idea how to proceed except go hunt a different dimension for the materials she would need to manufacture more of the Angel stuff. If there was cure out there is was beyond the reach of Angel. First things fire. Tests.

Disasterchild:
Woogle

"You are making too great an assummption here, Mark. There is no evil plan here."

Roy: Neil may not be a normal kid, but I can tell that he can behave like one. Provided he leaves that robot that totally didn't come from me at home.

Neil suddenly had on that 'Whoops...busted' look on his face. Elsie laughed.

Roy: You understand... Doing the power stuff isn't for him 'till he's older.

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THERE IS NO FAILURE TO ME BUT OBLIVION.

I'M AFRAID AT THAT POINT, THERE WILL BE NOTHING LEFT TO TORTURE.

THUS, WE SHALL HAVE AN ACCORD.

Oh, this isn't good.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

John: Well, you're the one in charge, then. What's the first move?

FalloutJack:
Short and Sweet

All three people in each of the little subplots going on would have answered if it weren't for one thing that happened.

Standing on the Planet Mercury, Loo made the sign in the air and pulled out the Sword of Rebellion and severed the bonds that held Lucifer in place. The devil from one dimension regarded the devil from the other before he vanished, leaving Lucifer to do as he pleased.

Back at the Pub... chaos was about to ensue.

"well i think it's time i left see ya everyone" david opens the door and steps out and closes the door

[spoilers=David Saber]
Name:David Saber Captain-commander of the 13th legion.
Gender:Male
Age:30
Species/Race/Ethnicity:British human
Dimension of Origin:skyrim/swords of the fallen 1206
Class: Reaver: warrior mage
Appearance:5'o clock shadow bread, few scars and looks like he's been through quite a few wars.

Hair: short, messy, black hair
Eyes: blue
Height: 7,0 feet
Body Type:well built
Clothing:
image.

Equipment: a small crossbow hidden behind his back, a few knives on his left side, a giant Bowie knife attached to his boot, a Katana hanging form his side and a huge greatsword on his back

Skills:to survive and live off the land, strategics a master of tactics and strategics.

Powers: controls fire is like another david, because of traveling between The Mall and The Pub Saber gained two side effects [so far] the first is he can respawn a few seconds after he dies and the second is he can consume a large amount of beer and the like without throwing or getting drunk.

Biography:you soon will know all

[b]Weaknesses:a very quick temper he can easily be pissed off and he's really laid back.
[/spoilers]

David Woon:
You're ruining the finish...Quick post then sleep.

[b]Location: The Writer's Booth
Subject: Mark

One look at the new character at the bar and Mark kmew exactly who the character came from.

"Jake's not gonna like this..." Mark said before resuming his but chuckling to himself for taking things way too literally.


Now it was a pretty strange thing. Puce could have sworn that he heard someone speak but couldn't see anyone there... Sable's armor keeping the bartender from seeing him. Pausing for a moment, he heard the question repeated.

"Uhhhh you're in a Pub. I thought you'd be aware of that since you called me Bar Keep." Puce said though the comment was directed so that Puce was facing 45 o away from the newcomer and now directly at him.

Now the funny thing isn't that Puce didn't see the man dressed in the Armor that made it so that "they really won't see you coming," it was that the new comer failed to notice the horde of Intelligent Deathclaws that were busy working on restoring the Pub and restocking its supplies after the last batch of villains to visit almost burnt her to the ground. The last thing he really wanted to do was piss these guys off since they were almost done fixing up the place.

"Love... Who are you talking to?" The lovely entertainer asked failing to perceive the newcomer in his armor as well.

Wesker saw that the infection was spreading though Lilith's body and it was then that he saw the Blade in the hut.
"...Lilith...That wound you took earlier has affected you. Already the Infection is going though you, hence why your aim was off....We are going to need to remove it, least you become of them." He explained, pointing to one of the zombies outside before grabbing the blade.
"this is no laughing matter. I've seen these things before, I was hoping your kind might be immune but that's not the case. And if you turn, I don't have a chance to survive. I assure you, I know what I'm talking about..."

Diablo1099:
Not my ARM!

Location: A Desert Island (Sometime in the Past)
Subjects: Lilith and Wesker

Lilith looked at Wesker for a moment as if the man had gone bloody fucking nuts insane with ... whatever. Her ARM the man wanted to take off her arm?!?! Then she felt it... the call of something greater. Whatever this feeling was it was familiar yet at the same time very alien to her. It was a great hunger... and a vast hive mind of hungry and angry souls.

"FUCK! Just do it!" She screamed as she held out her arm and waited for the blow. As she waited, she felt the hunger inching closer and closer, threatening to consume her in a mass of voices that would blot out her own rational mind.

Disasterchild:
Time for some amusement.

Trent looked at his watch and then pointed his cane at Woon's latest unwanted entry. A crimson energy ray, the horrendous Dark Power, fired through the character's head. Then, the beam bent and pierced through the other parts of the body for extremely good measure, followed by tightening like a string to pull said body into compacting chunks of ruined flesh before exploding.

Trent: Not here, not now, and certainly not...while I have guests.

Door opens, and in walks...two men dressed in blue, rather familiar-looking twins...

Xamot: It was rather good of you-

Tomax: -to call us for this meeting-

Xamot: -what with our other clients-

Tomax: -being somewhat deposed at the moment-

Both: -in federal penetentiaries.

Holy shit, Xamot and Tomax of Extensive Enterprises! What were THEY doing here? Hold on, the door's opening once more and this time it's a large man in a white suit, most-likely another business m- THAT'S WILSON FISK, THE KINGPIN!

Fisk: I must say, Massarino, I had considered giving this a miss, but when you consider the lack of temporal motions involved, no time wasted is time spent. Though...I do hope you will not be wasting said time.

Trent: Oh, I'm not.

Door opens again and...this time it's nobody familiar, but a man with dark hair slicked back, nicely-pressed Italian suit with a black longcoat over it and plasma-uzi-guns in the pockets. Did he perhaps work for Trent? Wait, why was he heading over to Puce with a smirk on his face? He reached into his pocket and pulled out...a portable GECK?!

???: It's traditional for people in your position to receive gifts. They wanted you two to be able to make paradise wherever you go.

He placed the device on the bar and returned to the gathering. Then...he came from the Wasteland? Door opened again and...no way. No way. No FUCKING way. DAVID XANATOS!!

???: David Xanatos. On behalf of all Daves and Davids everywhere, I salute you.

David: Probably the first time I've received quite that honor. To whom do I address it from?

???: David Davidson, representing the Enclave and Fallout Sector, codenamed FalloutDavid.

Trent: Which explains the D-facination.

FalloutDavid: Are we expecting anyone else?

Trent: Just one.

Door opens once more to reveal...a big flying head? Hang on, that's that guy, the one with the voice from the Intergalactic Battle Commission. Magnanimous!

Magnanimous: Greetings, bar patrons and fellow entrepeneurs. With the arrival of I, Magnanimous, the meeting can begin!

A bell sounded from somewhere. Trent looked at him blankly, then facepalmed.

Trent: Please don't do that again.

WTF IS GOING ON HERE?!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Okay...SO! Back to the serious business. Loo cut through all thirteen of the Lances of Longinus keeping the Eva-type Lucifer at bay. With only the exposed points there, the gigantic monstrosity could now move!

An arm raised, then another and another... The Fallen One sat up on the planet, pulling his last arm and then legs free. Then, he slammed down on the planet to make IT flinch as he hovered away from it, flexing for the first time in god knows how long. The core blared in blood red light and the holes in his body filled up. Able to actually USE his power now, the lances no longer acting as an impediment, Lucifer willed the hellish light to conform into lines of symbolic expression of time and space interaction. Dimension was an easy thing for Angels to see through and move through. They existed on more than one plain as is. On the high plains where the spirits of his fallen comrades seethed and raged for not being able to close Instrumentality, he too existed. This was simply a case of manipulating raw spacial currents at intersecting points to create a bridge between realms. The lines surrounded him spherically, rounding and twisting in non-euclidean ways, then locking into place as their movements had caught galatic coordinates with his destination, stopping hard as Lucifer fucking CHRONO SPHERED to where he had to be!

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John and April were interrupted alright. Out there in the swirling chaotic multi-universal black-and-nonsense, a red light blared higher and greater than all things. John immediately had his guard up. He had just told that guy to piss off...and now he was HERE?! They could just make its somewhat-humanoid form now, and they could definitely feel its eyes upon them. This creature was leagues beyond Azrael. It had tried to defy the one that spawned it, the big light-thing with the dead eyes that was now long gone. This would not be a'pretty...

John: Someone doesn't understand that no means no.

FOR A TIME, I CONSIDERED SPARING YOUR WRETCHED EXISTENCE...

BUT NOW, YOU SHALL EXPERIENCE...ITS DISMEMBERMENT!!!

FalloutJack:
HAHHAHAHA

Location: The Writer's Table
Subjects: Mark and Jake

Mark regarded the Corporate Cartel of whatever it was... and thought to himself... Bernie Madoff had nothing on Trent. It was surprising that there was not a Lex Luther among the bunch or even a Senator Roarke or a Jabba the Hutt.

"Okay... is it me or did we just hit the Canteen at Mos Eisley?" Mark asked as he regarded the new hive of scum and villainy.

SPLORCH!!!

"You still have a thing against that guy don't you?"

Location: The Bar
Subjects: Puce and Kurumu

Here's the thing... if the armor that Sable had been wearing was just your normal run of the mill armor instead of "they'll never see you coming" armor, people might have noticed whatever it was that went SPLORCH! as Sable's body exploded. However, even now, not one person noticed the gibs that now covered the floor of the Pub.

However Puce took a look at the GECK. A Garden of Eden Kit... but were they going somewhere. He thought about the motives behind giving him something like that and then simply tucked it away for use some other time. Who knows when something like that would come in handy... provided that it worked in the first place.

"Welcome to the Pub, gentlemen. I'm you host and proprietor of this establishment. Can I offer you a drink?"


Location: The Outside
Subjects: John and April

April regarded the creature with a morbid fascination as she prepped herself for battle. This involved two things... 1) Pop the cork of the bottle of "Sangre D'angelo 2) Drink from said bottle. As the Angel's blood absorbed whatever good and genuinely nice emotions the woman had, she was left feeling cold... calm... and deadly.

"Blah blah blah." She said as she pulled out her sword. Clearly overconfidence might have been an unforeseen side effect as well. Then again... if she died... this thing was only helping her in getting what she needed. She could have died painfully 1,000 times and been rolling in the Angel's blood.

"All I've seen you do it talk." She said as her hand shot out and held onto John's for a moment. Clearly she hadn't quiet drunk enough of the "Sangre D'angelo" to suppress all her good emotions.

Disasterchild:
Well, that certainly happened.

Well, the truth is that nobody fucking trusts Lex anymore, certainly not to do good business anymore. Somewhere between trying to become god and stealing all those pies, the business villain community just couldn't stand him anymore. As for Jabba...nobody EVER liked him in the first place. As for Mark's question about the exploding character...

"Yyyup."

He was watching SPLORCH!!! on instant slow-motion replay a few times.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The businessmen of badass villainy immediately perked up at the sound of drinks being offered.

Kingpin: I will have a double-malt scotch, on the rocks.

FalloutDavid: A touch of some fine merlot, if you please.

Xamot: Bacardi-

Tomax: -of Rum.

Magnanimous: A Space Sizzler for me..

Trent: Long Island Ice Tea.

Xanatos: A dry martini for myself and whatever my associate wants.

Associate? Ah, of course! Owen. The light-haired man came up to the bar and simply said "Water", which drew surprised looks from everyone.

Owen: Despite his allowances for me, Mr. Xanatos does not pay me to drink on the job.

Xanatos: Suit yourself.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

John knew what was going to happen in a moment. She had deliberately called out the giant monstrosity. She was expecting, as he would expect, for the thing to immediately launch something terrible at them. It was now close enough to see its perpetually horrific visage. Creature behind all develish names, Lucifer did indeed react, but not per se as one might expect. He knew quite clearly that he was trying to swat a flea, and that said flea had just consumed the equivalent of Popeye's spinach. The Fallen Angel stretched out its arms and more red light appeared to conform into energy lines. They formed quickly into three spheres of massive complex sigils and symbols. Symbolic science and energy conversion, turning and twisting and spinning in three dimensions at least. The chaos storms of multiple colliding universal barriers...their edges began to bleed pure energy into Lucifer's controlling matrix. Then, the five eyes glowed.

YOU SHALL DESPAIR IN YOUR UTTER LACK OF TRUE POWER...

Fires suddenly razed in many places of the exterior out here...but they weren't really fires. They were fire and magma shaping themselves into ten-foot doppelgangers of Lucifer. There were ohhh...about a thousand of them. The fallen one apparently wanted to make it quite clear that she was in no way able to cajole him into some foolishness, and that he had not only power but a powerful mind behind it. YEARS of being stuck to a planet like Prometheus had been a bit humbling, and embarassing. He was not about to rush in and waste the time spent considering his past actions.

Location: The Writer's Table
Subjects: Mark and Jake

It was really quite fascinating how that Sable kid went from a solid to a liquid/gaseous state in a matter of moments. Something that many physicist would have to look at for years to come. Of could when you're looking at the image in super slow motion... we're talking about 1,000 frames per second all in High Definition, you could definitely see how it was that the new comer became the unnoticed pool of ooze that no one had yet cleaned up.

And there it was... it was like someone had thrown the Newbie into a blender in the middle of a singularity. Even Tom Dickson would have been proud of the job that Trent had done on Sable.

Anyways... back to the program...

Noticing the glow from outside, Mark took a look at the other Lucifer that had shown up and quickly closed the blinds. All that magma and fire was causing a bunch of glare on the monitors. Priorities man... priorities.


Location: The Bar
Subjects: Puce and Kurumu and the Villainous Bunch

As Puce made the drink... the up until that point in time Yuroichi served them with lightning fast efficiency. Kurumu had barely gotten through the first verse before Yuroichi had completed serving the drinks.

And then it was time to observe what this little group of heinous, murderous, greedy corporate raiders was up to.

"Looks like another busy day..." Puce muttered as he turned to Neil... or rather Regis.

"Could you escort your young master to some place... safe. I should emphasize the word safe." Puce said. He had a bad feeling that something was in the works and the adults would soon be fighting again.

Location: The Outside
Subjects: April, John and Lucifer

"Oh... you brought some friends... so what do you and your friends want anyhow?" April asked as she tried to think of a way out of the situation. Needless to say a power of this magnitude needed to be contained. He had mentioned to John about wanting out. Who in their right mind would let something like this loose on the multiverse.

Somewhere in Hell

Lucifer was seated at his desk. In his hands he held a toy stegosaurus and raptor.

"Yes... Yes.. this is a fertile land and we will thrive... we will rule over all this land and we call it... this land." The Stegosaurus said.

"I think we should call it your grave!"

...

And suddenly... Lucifer felt like someone was thinking about him. Shrugging... he went back to his dinosaurs.

Back in Nexus

April backed away from the thousands of Lucifer dupes and whispered to John...

"So... any bright ideas?""

Disasterchild:
Yes, it blends.

"Heh. It looks like he's..."

Jake puts on sunglasses.

"...taking a powder."

YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The little robot blinked at Puce.

"Do you have a map of Pittsburgh available?"

Roy: Uhh, no. I've been there. Don't bother.

"HEY!"

Instead, Roy headed over to David Davidson, pulled him out of his chair at the villain table, and said...

Roy: You've got a few guys just outside, right? 'Cause of that Jack guy?

FalloutDavid: Of course.

Roy: Have 'em watch after my boy for a while. Things might get ugly here.

FalloutDavid: If you mean all the villains, don't be absurd. Those men don't DO terrible things while on the clock. It's not in their nature.

Roy: Take a look outside.

He peeked out there for a moment and paled.

FalloutDavid: Jack didn't mention anything about the Apocalypse...

So, he opened the door to allow Neil and the Regis to be taken outside.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

MEANWHILE...

YOUR DESTRUCTION IS DESIRE...

FOR YOUR ARROGANCE...REMEMBER?

How could they forget? IT WAS FIVE MINUTES AGO! How did all this happen in five minutes?! Who sprung him a mere tiny spat of time after he was turned down by the Hellblazer? John had to wonder that as, despite the angel dust, April's concern for their situation was clear when she started asking HIM for ideas. Lucifer had the board pretty well stacked. He was a giant monster speaking to them mentally out in space where they weren't as likely to touch him, due to the mess out there. He was also taking that mess and converting it into usable energy to recharge after untold years of sitting on his ass. Furthermore, they were surrounded by a giant horde of self-copies that he had most likely ASSUMED DIRECT CONTROL over to ensure that they would not be a horde of faceless minions but Bosses in Mook Clothing. They couldn't really run if he was amassing that kind of power out there. He might blow the entire bar. They could fight, but April was the only one that was going to make a real dent in these things unless John pulled out something really clever.

Well, uhhh...okay, wait. THAT is clever, but it wasn't... You'll see. John smiled.

John: I've got one, yeah. Oi, tosser!

IT IS TOO LATE TO MAKE DEALS, CONSTANTINE...

YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE.

John: Nah nah nah, nothing like that. Just a question before our horrible bleeding demise. Are you aware that death around here has no meaning, that you just hiccup back ta' home in bed?

I AM CERTAIN...THAT I CAN RECTIFY THAT MYSELF.

John: Ah, but yer missin' the point. Maybe someone like you can get around the rules if he pours it on and has the back of a few higher-ups, but what happens when you're not that strong?

IS THERE ANY RELEVANCE TO THIS STATEMENT?

John: Well, I mean...what happened to the bloke that was watchin' you?

The bloke that was...? Oh. That guy. The gigantic black figure set to look like a giant grim reaper. Azrael, the angel of death. He'd come here because of April, and he'd gotten his core blown up. So wait, that would mean... And now, John was grinning like a maniac because the very thing had appeared...a little ways behind Lucifer.

FalloutJack:
You know the term clusterfuck? Yeah well...

Location: The Writer's Table
Subjects: Mark and Jake

Mark was looking at the clock that stood above the Bar. It was ironic that for a place that had no time that there would be a clock. Well there was time in the sense that time flowed in a linear fashion to that a person wasn't muddled up seeing everything happening at once. But time... real time... didn't quite exist.

Anyhow... enough pseudo-science mumbo jumbo.

Mark was looking at the clock because a few pages ago, Puce had asked the question "what's the worst that could happen" right before he used the Infinity Gauntlet to heal Roy, the power of which became a beacon for every power craving monstrosity in all the dimensions. Each one trying to get into Nexus only to be stopped at customs to fill out the proper transdimensional visas request forms in triplicate for every member of their parties that would be coming into Nexus.

By Mark's calculations... they should have finished by now.

"Ummm... duck" Mark said as he slid lower into the booth's seat and dropped a clear bubble that was impervious to most attacks.


Location: The Outside
Subjects: April, John, Lucifer, Azreal and ... shit who knows anymore.

Azreal wasn't the only person to pop up behind Lucifer. The space around Nexus was suddenly ablaze with portals blasting into existence, dimensional doors being opened, verse walls being ripped apart at their seams by countless of races that had sensed the calling of the Infinity Gauntlet.

The Tyrannids were the first on the scene and the first to spot what they believed was the source of the power that called them... namely Lucifer himself... what else could it have been except something so massive and so powerful that their biological sensors were a tizzy in his presence. Their hive fleet had been traveling for a good long time and they were HUNGRY.

Then there were was the familiar glow of a hole being ripped open from Hyper space and thousands of squid and crab like ships emerging from the orange glow of Hyperspace beyond. Shadows and Vorlons anyone? They brought their planet killers too since they were a bit concerned that another galactic war was on the brink of starting. They had been responsible for one themselves so they wanted to make sure that whatever called them wouldn't be calling any of the other child species.

There were even Spelljammers... old sailboats powered by spells and empowered with the ability to traverse space. Something this powerful would surely allow them to take control of the most powerful warship known to them THE Spelljammer.

There were a bunch of other factions too... Eldar, Dwarves, a few Cenobites here and there, intelligence space faring Piranha, hell, even Dumbo was out here vying for a piece of the puzzle.

And so it was that despite Lucifer's overwhelming powers... he was about to get his ass zerg rushed by a bunch of peons.

"This was YOUR idea?" she asked John.

Disasterchild:
Continuity!

There was a BIT more than that showing up. Dalek fleets showed up, Red Dwarf showed up, Apocalypse (as in X-Men) showed up, Darkseid showed up, Strongbad (as Dangeresque) showed up...

Dangeresque: It looks like I'm going to have to juuump!

Then, a null space rift opened and...

...the Glorft mothership pulled into view!

Gorrath: Commander! Where the florp are we?

Commander: We appear to be in some sort of area between universes. That is where the signal is coming from, sir. Directly ahead!

Gorrath: All I see is a giant alien rump and a lump of rock. IF YOU ARE TRYING TO BE FUNNY, I'LL HAVE YOUR JORBLOKS FOR LUNCH!!

Commander: No, sir! It's genuine! However, we appear to have competition for the power source.

Gorrath: Then launch the mechs.

Commander: How many, sir?

Gorrath: ALL OF THEM.

John watched as the Karajor launched its gigantic array of green squid-mechs, and for everything out there to take battle positions and such. Then, April actually asked if HE had planned all of this. He shook his head.

John: Can't really take credit for it all, love. Poked me head at the other Angel to get his attention, but I don't know a thing about the rest of 'em.

Why was Lucifer markedly UNworried? True, he flinched at the appearance of Azrael, but not everyone else...

And so this was how the first Great Trans-dimensional War was started. As April and John looked on... everyone... and I mean everyone started opening up on Lucifer... and each other. If they couldn't have the ultimate power then neither would the others.

"Oh we're screwed she said as the Vorlon's planet killed came online and started blasting at Lucifer's minions, we're talking about a 23 mile long ship whose sole purpose was the destruction of planets. Then there were the Shadows' planet killer... a moving mass of black energy sucking clouds filled with gigaton class nuclear warheads.

Yup... just one big happy scrap and brawl in the skies over and under Nexus.

"So that's why he doesn't look worried." April remarked as her hover bike wrapped itself around her forming a rather form fitting suit of armor.

So... there we had it... various factions fighing Lucifer, his minions and each other. Explosions, people walking away slowly from explosions, ship boardings, people hopping on Lucifer and jabbing him with their melee weapons, gunners opening up on Lucifer and knocking the melee people off of Lucifer... it was a good old fashioned clusterfuck of a battle.

Inside...

"Seriously Puce? You just got your answer as to the worst thing that could happen."

Disasterchild:

Location: A Desert Island (Sometime in the Past)
Subjects: Lilith and Wesker

Placing a calming hand on hers, Wesker bought the Machete down on the Deathclaw's infected arm, Somehow managing to get a clean cut.
*Writers Block -_-"*

Location: A Desert Island (Sometime in the Past)
Subjects: Lilith and Wesker

Mothers you might wanna cover your kids' eyes for this little scene that's about to play you... you've been warned.

Now when you lop off an limb... it's expected that there's going to be some blood involved, especially when the instrument in question is as rusty and dull as the machete that Wesker was using. What should have been a clean cut actually took 2 or 3 swings.

THWACK!!!!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Lilith scream in pain, feeling the blade of the machete cut through her tender flesh and hit the bone of her arm.

THWACK!!!!! CRUNCH!!!!!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

That was the scream that came from the machete not cutting through the bone but shattering it into a few dozen tiny bone splinters.

THWACK!!!!! THUD!!!! PSSSSSHHHHHH!

That was the sound of the final cut, Lilith's infected arm hitting the floor of the hut and the enormous SPRAY of blood that came from the wound. We're talking Kill Bill Beatrice Kiddo lopping off Sofie Fatale's arm when it comes to like a fire hose Spray of blood. And the rolling on the ground... oh god the rolling on the ground.

"My ARM!!! Oh my fucking god my AARRRRMMM!!!" Lilith screamed as if she had gotten one of the limbs cut off... oh wait... yeah... just like that.

This whole scene must have freaked Wesker out, until he heard something else... it was the sound of laughter...

"Heh heh heh... Hehehe.... HAHAHAHAH!" Lilith started laughing as she stood back up. Showing him the wound, he saw that a new arm was quickly sprouting to replace the old one.

"I love being able to do that." she said with a goofy smile on her face... which quickly faded.

Now, normally, Lilith doesn't turn on the regeneration gene in her DNA sequence until she's been wounded and for good reason. The arm that Wesker had just cut off...the infected one... since Lilith had activated her Regeneration protocol before the arm had been fully lopped off... began regenerating as well. The problem was it was going to regenerate a full Lilith... fully infected Lilith that was.

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit." Lilith said as she tried blasting the limb, only to find that her plasma pistol had no effect on it... thanks again to her own genetic tampering on herself.

"ummm... RUN!" She said as she started running, leaving Wesker by himself with the now half formed body.

Disasterchild:

Location: A Desert Island (Sometime in the Past)
Subjects: Lilith and Wesker

Wesker was un-fazed by the rapid mutation, I mean he made fucking Lisa Trevor, Don't get much worse then that.
He scanned the room for something to at least delay the mutation.
And he found it, a old oil lamp from who ever build this hut.
Quickly lighting itt, He then smashed it onto the floor of the wooden hut, a fire quickly consuming the entire building.
It was only then he leapt from the building and followed Lilith.

Disasterchild:
Yes, I'm familiar with Babylon-5.

Meanwhile, at the business villain meeting...

Kingpin: Well, I must say that your proposal is worth consideration, Mr. Massarino. The distribution of your products will make the worlds entirely and without personal strife, at last a unified world at peace...and ripe for the plucking.

Xanatos: I'm not so certain that I can allow this one on my world.

Trent: Which was that?

Xanatos: #71-B, self-sustaining Meta-Destroyer. Tried to use nanotechnology for my own purposes and it went Grey Goo on us. If this is even more powerful, I'm afraid I'll have to pass on its use.

Magnanimous: Say, I dunno if you guys noticed, but there's a giant war going on outside.

They all looked at him.

Trent: So?

Magnanimous: Well, is this really the time to be having a meeting?

Xamot: I can think of-

Tomax: -no better time.

They both laughed up a storm. These men were insane...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

John: I dunno who summoned this lot, but they're NOT helping. Have a look.

All of the blasts direct at Lucifer, and even a number of the ones too close to him, were curving into his controlling matrix. This creature was bleeding the raw forces of his surroundings his power supply. Why should it matter if a bunch of aliens and whatnot blast into him? They lacked the precident to be able to approach him. Oh, and speaking frankly of those planet killers...Lucifer also sensed that Infinity Gauntlet before, and he was curious about it. So, two beams emitted from two of his eyes at the Shadowand Vorlon ultimate weapons, pure heat beams. Space in their general area went from absolute zero to absolutely hot in mere seconds. Their systems uunable to cope, the Vorlon ship's generators and the Shadow cloud's missles simultaneously overloaded and detonated, leaving John and April to witness an immense conflagration. However, seconds later, there was a problem in Camp Lucifer. Azrael had expanded a wave of death and killed everything between him and the fallen one. Lucifer turned to face him, his back to the Nexus for now.

YOU WOULD DEFY ME NOW?

I AM YOUR ONLY GOD!

So far, it looked like John's gambit was still the closest to a possible win as Lucifer had to actually MOVE to deal with the Angel of Death, the two of them firing respective energies at each other.

Location: The Writer's Booth
Subjects: Mark and Jake

Mark was tired... stupidly so. Rather than getting sleep in his corporeal body, he had spent time looking for the owners of a couple of stray dogs that he had found wandering the road.

"Uhhh... fuck... tired... ZzZzzZZzZ... Wut? Ugh" Mark said before burying his head into a bowl of beer nuts.

"You know... these business men... why are they here?" Mark finally asked from the bottle of the beer nut bowl.

That's right... why were they there. Surely business could have been conducted elsewhere. Mark was slowly getting paranoid of Jake's imagination and what it meant... it meant that Mark would someday have to up the ante... but probably not today. Beer nuts and all.

Location: The Outside
Subjects: John and April


Well you know what they say... the enemy of my bigger enemy is kinda sorta my friend. In this case it probably wasn't true but Azrael was doing April an incredibly huge favor. The Angel of Death was distracting Lucifer enough that April could get in some free shots on that core-thingy that Regis had aimed for the first time they fought the Angel of Death.

EDIT: Of course, since she didn't have a clean shot at the core due to Lucifer's back being turned on her... she needed a weapon that wouldn't need to directly impact the core to pack in a wallop.

April's prized Sword had conveniently morphed into a MIRV launcher.... well not really a MIRV... more of a guided multi-multmegton-warhead rocket launcher. The only problem was lifting the damn thing which is why April once again needed the assistance of the exo-skeletal battle armor that she had crafted.

Pretty handy huh? Probably not in the face of Lucifer but we can't all be Angels of Death of even the Great Adversary with a chip on his shoulder.

"Close your eyes John..." April warned as she pulled the trigger, launching the rocket... which broke into several sub-munitions on the way to Lucifer... which broke into several more sub-sub-munitions. King Kong didn't have shit on her...

Location: A Desert Island (Sometime in the Past)
Subjects: Lilith and Wesker

Well here's the funny thing... did Wesker notice the fact that Lilith had tried blasting the mutating appendage with a plasma pistol? Now... plasma is a fourth state of matter and is similar to a gas. Lightning? That's a sort of Plasma. Now... Plasma temperatures in lightning can approach ~28,000 Kelvin. Also... the Sun is made up of hot Plasma. So put mildly... a kerosene lantern had no effect on the mutant appendage what so ever. However... since the reforming mutant zombie Lilith clone hadn't regenerated a brain yet, it didn't register the pain of the kerosene burns or the plasma burns... and so... it wasn't pissed off... YET.

"I SAID RUN UNCLE WESKER!!!!!" Lilith screamed as she ran past a zombie that was trudging nearby, neatly decapitating it with the 12 inch highly dense claws that were a Deathclaw's namesake.

As the two ran ... and ran... and ran... in the distance there was a roar. Zombie Lilith... or Zilith for short... had fully regenerated.

"That can't be good."

Disasterchild:
sorry had a hard time getting round to do this sorry again the name is actually saber not sable whoops

Saber sighed as he pulled his hood down while saying "he's talking......to me" as he pulled off his mask disengaging the invisible ability and showing a war torn face with a few scars but under the scars was quite a handsome face with black short hair and 5 o'clock shadow beard and the rest of his armor slowly appears.

"sorry about that, i forgot that stupid cloaking ability was still on, anyway i was traveling through a huge snow storm when i came across your and now i'm here all of a sudden, now i know i'm in a pub but there was nothing but a door out there when i found it so now we got that sorted i'll ask again where am i? and why am i here?" he said nicely trying not to freak about the deathclaws standing to the left of him *holy shit these things are huge they're the size of giant ogres but these things look way deadlier best stay out of their way* he thought nervously

Disasterchild:

Location: The Writer's Booth
Subjects: Mark and Jake

"This Way!" Wesker shouted as the pair sprinted though the jungle, a lot of the Zombies stumbling on the roots and shrubs on the ground.
After several minutes of non-stop sprinting, Their progress was halted by a Massive Ravine that seemed to have a endless drop.
"Damn it!.....Lilith, If you have any weaknesses now would be the time to tell me, because a Zombie Deathclaw with a Healing Factor is a bit of a Issue..." He asked as he tried to find a way across.

Disasterchild:
Mwa ha ha ha ha haaa...

The Writer's grin to the other Author was decidedly shark-like...as he picked up the microphone of the karaoke machine.

"Why...they are here because..."

Jake seemed out of breath after all of this. The villain table was laughing it up while this had gone on. Trent just told a joke that ended with "...and then everything exploded!". Heh heh heh... You WISH it was just an anecdote.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Meanwhile outsiditude!

Battles, battles, battles... Tyranids forced to ward off Glorft mechs, Daleks against Darkseid's forces, Apocalypse against Strongbad...

Strongbad: DOUBLE DEEEEUUUUCE!!!

Apocalyse: Foul creation! NONE shall stand against the power of Apocalypse!

Yes, that was the classic version of Apocalypse. Accept no substitutes. Amidst all of this massive fighting, in which Lucifer was now effectively wrestling with Azrael, April told John to cover his eyes as she prepared to fire a...significant blast. John responded by putting on a pair of Joo Janta 200 Peril-Sensitive Sunglasses, which turn completely and opaquely black onthe face of danger so as not to alarm the user. John's pair had been as black as dark matter since before they left his pocket. Upon putting them on, he gave April the thumbs up.

John: Got it covered, love.

April fired and the MIRV went on MIRVing itself and eventually out in space...struck the back of Lucifer like a shotgun blast, leaving his back pitted and burnt from the effect. Of course, we should point out that April's weapon is 'special', unlike everything else that was being flung at him...minus suffering ill effects from Azrael's power. The problem was that while he was focused on Azrael, the temper of Lucifer was such that the back attack annoyed him more than the other Angel's persence. So, in the true form of an impatient foe...

ENOUGH!

...it was ass-kicking time!

All four arms tore off Azrael's two main ones and mouth-blast tore his face in half before hoof-kicking him HARD in the core to make it crack as he sent the mass tumbling away. Irritated now at all the tiny gnats causing the trouble, his arms created four long fire swords and he began to cleave up ARMIES with infernos and shockwaves. His five eyes shot off gigantic versions of Darkseid's own Omega Beams, but much much more complex and sustaining...so much so that the named villain was actually shocked. A mass amount of Daleks and Tyranids and Glorft mechs exploded in this massive conflagration as Lucifer's controlling matrix broke down from a lack of concentration. It didn't matter now. The dimensions and their war had properly fueled him, and so he gave them their reward. They're eternal reward.

Somehow, in all this, the Red Dwarf was missed. We dunno how that happened.

John removed his sunglasses and saw Lucifer tearing ass. A vision of hell did not even BEGIN to describe the carnage. There hadn't been that many Daleks destroyed since...well...probably the last time the Doctor destroyed them all. John watched this and...pulled out a cellphone. Who was he calling at this hour? Well...he was dialing the bar, actually.

John: 'Ello, Puce. I'm sure you've noticed the happenings an' goings-on outside. Would you do us a favor and hand me over that Infinity Gauntlet of yours? Incidentally, there are a few minions on the lawn, so be careful of that.

Location: The Writer's Booth
Subjects: Mark and Jake

As Jake performed on the stage, the house lights dimmed down to a minimum and turned red, the main source of light being the spotlight that was focused on the apparently evil Writer.

"Huh! I still wouldn't have figured him for the evil type." Mark said despite all the increasingly catastrophic events that had occurred since Jake appeared in Pub 1.0 (which of course culminated in its destruction). Of course, this thought came courtesy of a guy who had been getting only 5 hours of sleep for the last few days because he had decided to rescue a pair of stray mutts that were running in the middle of the street.

Looking at Trent briefly, Mark had decided that having Puce offer up the head legal position to Trent might have been a good thing.

"Okay, I get it... you're evil." Mark said to Jake as he finished his set.

"Now... let's try not having everyone explode eh?"

BRRRNG! BRRRRNG!... BRRRNG! BRRRRNG!...BRRRNG! BRRRRNG!

Looking at the table, there was suddenly a Red Phone located in its center. Picking up the phone, Mark turned towards the bar...

"Ehh... it's for you!" He said to Puce.

Location: The Bar
Subjects: Puce, Kurumu, Lilith, Wesker and Saber

There was a bit of a surprised look on Puce's face when Mark called over to him and told him that he had a phone call, especially considering that he didn't remember ever installing a phone over at the booth where the supposed Writers were seated.

Turning to Saber, he excused himself before walking over to the booth and answering the phone.

"Oh hi John... Yeah... you can't help but notice all that crap going on outside... uhhh... oh yeah that golden glove thing... sure you can borrow it... uhhh... minions? uhh... okay... yeah I'll be careful." Puce said before he hung up.

"Hey Kuru! I'll be right back... you're in charge until I'm back!" Puce said as he grabbed his messenger bag and his staff and exited into the hanger.

Kurumu nodded and turned over to Saber and responded to his questions with a fetching smile.

"Well you're in a Pub located in the middle of transdimensional space. As to how you got here... it's probably because you accidentally located one of the random doors that someone placed in the middle of your world. It seems that these doors randomly appear for people who are either in trouble, looking for a drink or just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Location: The Outside
Subjects: John and April

Once inside the hanger, Puce hopped inside the rather iconic shaped fightcraft that was parked in Puce's spot... yup the Swordfish II.

Puce blasted out of the Hanger was quickly as the little jet could take him, the minions trying to jump him as he exited the hanger, the Infinity Gauntlet sitting in Puce's lap as he performed evasive maneuver after evasive maneuver.

Spotting John and the armored angel hunter, Puce tried his damnedest to get to them...

Location: A Desert Island (Sometime in the Past)
Subjects: Lilith and Wesker

Weaknesses? This guy wants to know my weaknesses?

"What the hell? I've got the ability to adapt any situation imaginable and you're asking me about a weakness? ... oh there is my cousin Jac... he's so dreamy. What?!? He's not my REAL cousin." Lilith said as she had a much easier time traveling through jungle by flying.

"I suppose if you introduced me to the Anti-Me that would help... since my molecules with annihilate with those anti-molecules." She theorized, though there was no way in hell they were going to find a version of Lilith made of Anti-Matter.

"Well... I supposed you could freeze it since plasma didn't work." Yeah... freezing something in the middle of a desert island?

"The only thing that's ever even come close to killing me was that one night I drank like 2 gallons of vodka..." She said, remembering how they had to pump her stomach that one night as the cadets were celebrating the completion of their first week of training.

Disasterchild:

Location: A Desert Island (Sometime in the Past)
Subjects: Lilith and Wesker

"...out of all the times I decide to not bring the sauce with me..." Wesker sighed as he tried to find a way across the ravine.
"Right, Are you able to carry me? because I ain't seeing a bridge or any other way past this ravine... He admitted as he kicked a stone into the massive fall in annoyance.

???
Unknown to the duo, they were being watched.
"everYthiNg is sET. aLl we hAve to Do is WaIt..." a man that seemed to have a loose understanding of the English Language said to himself from his office.

Location: A Desert Island (Sometime in the Past)
Subjects: Lilith and Wesker

Seriously? You're asking a Deathclaw if he could carry a human? Clearly, Wesker had never heard of the famed Bahmin tossing games that occurred back in the Colony situated underneath the Pub... but that was probably not the ideal topic of discussion.

With a nod, Lilith picked up Wesker and cradled him in her arms as if she was about to bring him across the threshold into their new home, and took off into the air. There must have been a slight miscalculation on her part because they soon started losing altitude ...

"Oh crap." Lilith cursed before she adjusted the size and shape of her wings to accommodate Wesker's extra mass.

The pair were steadily crossing the ravine when Zilith made her appearance.

She looked almost like Lilith save for a few key elements. While Lilith's eyes were purple and showed signs of extreme intelligence (though she didn't frequently display this intelligence overtly) Zilith had no eyes at all. Add to that the Zilith had an additional set of claw tipped arms, was much more massive, agile and resilient than the Death Claw matriarch that was carrying Wesker... you'd start getting an idea of the differences.

Now... lets talk about something else.

Crack

That was the sound of an egg shell cracking... a Death Claw egg shell cracking... a ZOMBIE Death Claw egg shell cracking.

Yes... Zilith had inherited some other traits form Lilith as well... one of them being the ability to produce Death Claw eggs... ready to hatch... and full of Kuru infected Deathclaw.

Yeah... today was destined to be quite a long day...

Disasterchild:

Location: A Desert Island (Sometime in the Past)
Subjects: Lilith and Wesker

"It can breed? Right, that's just the worst thing ever..." Wesker sighed as they hovered over the ravine, him nervously holding onto the deathclaw for dear life.
Once they were across, the pair of them ran from the ravine as Zilith walked after them, falling straight in as she never thought to fly.
This is written in as she is OP as fuck and I've not figured out a way past her yet.

As they feld, Wesker led the duo into a cave that they passed.
"Grab a Bolder and seal the entrance. It'll keep her out long enough for me to think of a way to stop her."

???
"Our empeRor WiLL arriVE soOn. HurRy Friendz." The man said as he gazed into a incubation pod containing the corner stone of his plan.

Disasterchild:

Xanatos: Now then, let me see if I understand you right, Trent. You are offering all of us a number of your company's services to solve what might essentialy be 'our problems' for a lucritive price and a place to open business on our worlds, correct?

Trent: Indeed.

Xanatos: And said services appear to include - now that the haggling and discussion is over - a small army of your MassaCorp androids along with limited use of something called Atmus for me to deal with supernaturals, a contract with an organization called the Black Talon for Magnanimous to handle his 'mech shortage', a group of Executioner Demons for the Kingpin as well as killer machine called a Dreadstar, Xamot and Tomax get an android army as well, and apparently you have been cutting deals with the Enclave for some time.

FalloutDavid: What? You think Number One learned the secret to self-regenerating plasma cores on his own? He may have all the perks, but it takes a true genius to create and then harness the fourth state of matter perpetually.

But he HAD been close, and Trent tossed in his own two cents as a freebee so that they could do business. Now, things were continuing on. Number One wanted to try out something in the android lines called a Juggernaut. Just a few, at first. They looked promising...and this evil meeting of evil was definitely going places!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Meanwhile, the situation outside could be described in one word: Hamburger. No, seriously. Lucifer was reducing a fair deal of his opposition to just that. That Puce was out there and not getting same was like an act of god. OH WAIT. Well, irony can be pretty ironic at times... Still! He headed out to find John and John waved his arms.

John: I'm open! Give 'er here!

Unfortunately, the fiery mooks noticed that John was open and went to block him, as well as several of them sprouting wings to pursue him. Even worse, there were three loud impacts against the Swordfish as Puce now had the company of some stowaways clinging to his ship!

Darkseid: Now, the power of the Anti-Life Equation shall be mine...

Apocalypse: Soon, the ultimate power of destruction will be MINE!

Kryten: I do beg your pardon, sir. It was the Trojun's Synchonicity Drive again. I was just wishing I could do something to stop all of this and here I am!

Well, at least the android was on his side.

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