Zero Punctuation: Halo Wars

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and i thought yahtzee was getting repetitive
i agree - you cant really have an RTS on a console cept pc - for exactly the same reason yahtzee said
great minds right?

he should review DOW 2 instead

also Graham and Paul were bad

See, this is what he was afraid of :P

Ditto, I'd much rather have him review DoW2. Yahtzee reviewing a console RTS obviously couldn't end well.


X-Blades was developed in Russia not America.

It was one thing to see Graham Stark flex his muscles with the Yahtzee-induced insanity, but to see the imp at the end do the same?

Bravo, Benjamin Yahtzee Sebastian Godzilla Croshaw. Bravo.

Haven't got to that mission he mentions at the end of the review in Halo Wars yet but otherwise I'm finding it's not so bad. Some control issues when you need to get to one side of the map from the other side, but selecting units isn't too bad. But tactics mostly does turn into zerg rushing so it is a bit dumbed down. Still, I've been playing RTSs for years and I don't mind one bit.

And faulting a game for having a story and characters is just silly. If you don't like it, don't play single player mode.

Hey! Here's an idea! Let's talk about, say... The video that we've all supposedly watched in past 1 minute took you all to post aftr ti was uploaded!! :DDDDD

Seriously though I was wondering if the threat would actually be carried out and i'm surprised, firstly by how well Graham was pulling it off until he got lost for words on the soundtrack and secondly by the lack of Paul, unless he was excluded from this for being the essential neutral party.

I hoenstly wasn't expecting miracles from Halo Wars, thanks for confirming that.

(not that I was ever gonna cash in on the franchise anyway... Having Halo 2 is honestly enough for me.)

[for the sack of the few, I'm refering to the first page of comments at the start of my post.]

Why did graham's characters eyes go all over his head some times?
...and whats up with that bit at the end?

God damn it!! Stupid computer won't load it! <='[

Mr Smile:
first yee ha


Anyway, the rage at the end of the review is NOTHING compared to the rage I got from retarded AI.


Very good zp this week, finally shows how RTs should just stay on PC cause thats were they belong

Very funny, unskippable was great and it was a good rendition of Yahtzee's traditional gold. I was surprised to see you jump in another program and also have someone else tamper with your baby, even if it was very well done.

I figured you the sort who would coddle your offspring maybe in a hidden basement like someone's popular daughter and fetal abominations.

What the fuck... who WAS that at the beginning? One of the ZP tribute guys clogging up YouTube?

(EDIT: Forgot to include the "[/sarcasm]" line)

This was the BEST ZERO PUNCTUATION of all time! The best I tell you! I fucking fell off my chair!

I enjoyed both Yahtzee's review and I thought the Unskippable guy is much better suited to ripping off I MEAN paying homage to ZP. Much more enjoyable to watch.

Got better towards the end.

Hmm, Graham had better shape up or ship out.

Sorry Graham, you did well for something out of your typical "range"
Sorry Yahtzee, awesome review and good to see you getting into more genres.

But...the Imp's review was offically the best, ever!

Very, very good guys it's a shame that we may only see one of these cross overs as both halves were fantastic. You can tell alot of effort must have gone in.
EDIT: wow you can tell the people who only come on escapist for zp reading these comments lol :P

Halo Wars was is a very simple RTS. It is a good starting point for building a Console RTS. Although, those tanks your producing, the Covenant heroes own. Especially the Arbiter. I hope he reviews MadWorld soon.

Awwwww that pedigree chum thing was cute.

That.. was.. epic. I liked it. Another great one, couldn't stop laughing, the Unskippable-part was okay but nothing more.

I enjoyed the April fool's bit at the beginning, and I think I'll have to add "cunting" to my vocabulary, but I'm glad YC kicked the metaphorical door down and barged back in halfway through.

I do kinda want to know what unskippable is, now, though. >.>

I suspect that RTSesses play better on computers much the same way that board games play better on boards but if he's going to get so cross about running out of time maybe it's not quite the gernre for him. Or maybe he should get the cheat codes.

I dig Yahtzee's reviews, they brought me to these forums.

... that is all.

Quite possibly one of the best ones he's done. It has been a while since I actually "lol"'d.

Even ignoring the 'bonus' parts at the beginning and end, that was completely brilliant. The "what arbitrary silliness" and ensuing rant made me laugh harder than anything in ZP since... well I have no idea, months at least.


I have been waiting for this since yesterday, checking every 15 minutes since daybreak. WOO HOO.

You do know that it always launches at noon, right?

Love the Battle Royale reference. Great episode this week. Unskippable guy was great too.

This wasn't mind-blowing, but rather interesting to see a guest in ZP. Also that BULL-FUCKING-SHIT was quite hilarious, but the shouty part after it wasn't.

Eww, I'll never cross X-blades!

I loved the part with the imp at the end.

I think I would have liked the opening better if he didn't try to do it Yahtzee-style. Whenever you hear "triple-cunted hooker," you know exactly what's in store for you. The opening would have been better suited at the end. Shame to say it, but no one can do Yahtzee but Yahtzee. It was, however, a valiant attempt.

Unskippable is decent in the beginning. Then Mr. Croshaw does his thing, and apparently the imps at the end was random. And Mr. Croshaw was right about RTS on consoles. Because it's beyond frustrating to control units with a controller instead of a mouse.

Did my ears just lie or did Yahtzee just mention Battle Royale?

I love that movie.

Great reviews and good mix-up there and Unskippable gave em a new fun line to say for laughs.

"Gigantic earth shaking boobage"

America? From what I read X-Blades was actually made by Russians. I think Two Worlds was made by the people who made Earth 2160 and they were from eastern Europe as well.

Anyway, that Halo Wars was retarded in campaign mode comes as no surprise, all RTSes with the possible exception of the Perimeter games (which have an active AI in the campaign and if you wait too long it'll outmass YOU) turn into an outmassing contest in the campaign because usually the enemy has a static unit set that doesn't grow like yours so building up means inevitable victory (unless the game throws some arbitrary goal at you). I stop bothering with the campaign in an RTS after the novelty wears off and go for skirmishes instead. No need for patience in those, in PvP an RTS really turns into an action game with the ability to royally screw yourself over in the buildup phase.

unskippable guy wasn't TOO bad, it just sounded like he was trying to be like yahtzee. halo wars part was pretty good. i don't blame his for hating strategy games. the only one i ever liked was fire emblem.

Fire Emblem games are the only type of strategy games I am good at...(them, FFT, and Shining Force, but the latter two to a lesser extent).

It was an interesting review, but I have to say I laughed the hardest at the imp thingy at the end. It was just so odd.

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