Zero Punctuation: Dragon Age: Origins

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Come on, Bioware said it themselves! Elves are poverty-stricken former slaves as opposed to pretentious rich assholes living in the woods in this game, that's TOTALLY different! But yeah I don't get why elves always have to use bows and arrows either, even when I started as a Dalish elf I immediately switched to two daggers. Then a dagger and an axe. Hell yeah!

But Yatzhee went right for an elf too eh? I think you can tell something about someone by what race they always choose first in a fantasy RPG. What that something is... I have no idea.

bladeofdarkness:
guess he liked it despite all the criticism
most of the criticism isnt even aimed at the game

When you think about it, he doesn't even talk about the game that much. Just complaining about cliched fantasy settings and dragon age's cliched-ness.

Hmmm, I'll need to look up those stonkin' great games...

The moment I saw the title I jumped in the air.

This is definitely one of the best, most addictive games I've ever played. Glad to see Yahtzee didn't think it was utterly terrible.

The game is nice, especially for sobering up (trust me I know x.x). I kinda knew Yahtzee would like it.

Avenged Sevenfold is a good band...

Catkid906:
Okay... So I like get Dragon Age then, but I also like sex with Girls.
But which is better?

There's only one way to find out...

FIGHT!

That's a tough one, cause Dragon's Age complains to you as much as your girlfriend does.

TheNamlessGuy:

stevec666:
FIRST :)

...no

OT: "So is the Dragon Age like the Bronze Age, and now everything is made out of dragons?"
That right there made my day

I wonder how they would implement that. The escapist review said that dragons would kill you most of the time so all those pants must be worth a fortune or the dragons control the entire economy from a doom fortress.

Well that concicely and comically summed up my experience so far barring the issue of it being played on the xbox rather than the god console (by which I mean PC)

Talking of trying to innovate the whole tolkien concept I read sword of Shannara, Dwarves are scared of closed spaces and live in forests...which technically makes them short elves with braided beards but it was an attempt at innovating and I didnt enjoy the break from the status quo.

congrats to the game contest winner. Im not a fan of games where you cant win (highscore games) so I would have preferred 3rd place but oh well

Fuck yeah down for Vegemite! Only if its that new shit.

By the way Yahtzee, I've personally gotten plenty of value out of playing the whole game out, I've played all the origins and finished it once and I'm finishing it again, the game actually varies if you want it to, considering there's lot of little "this or that" forks in the road, its always fun to go back through it and choose the other option.

That said, good review, hilarious and on point. I'm surprised the fact that you have to mash your pause button every 2 seconds, or the fact that normal difficulty and up feels like the game was developed by Hitler, those are the two things that frustrated me. Then again I like the dialogue in BioWare games. Especially when you have actors like Steve Valentine(the british M.E. from Crossing Jordan) providing voices.

edit: also it seems really hampered by the fact that you played it on 360. The game is clearly made for PC, and I couldn't imagine playing it as easily on consoles.

LMAO, they even have the friendy response, the netural response, and the asshole response thing in Sonic Chroncles, which Bioware also did. Some of the asshole responses in Dragon age are really funny(though I don't use them), in they are in every Bioware game. It's also nice how Yahtzee pointed out that every game Bioware has done since KOTOR has been the same thing over and over(you can correct me if I'm wrong but KOTOR was the first Bioware game I ever played).

I dident like this game, i liked KOTOR, but this game was just way to much like it, besides, how much fun can you have with a game thats more or less go here and press one or two buttons? at least with KOTOR, you had more then about 6 powers on hand to use.

This is the funniest review in ages. Not that the other recent reviews weren't funny, Yahtzee never fails to make me laugh. It just so happens this one made me laugh more. Jesus, compliments are hard to do these days. I can't seem to compliment anyone anymore without it sounding slightly insulting.

Wow, I'm significantly less excited to play Dragon Age now.. However, still pretty damn excited..

I did however play the Stonking Great Game winner, and my only gripe is that ever so often the mouse locked up and studdered like a virgin girl on the day the troops come home. Ba dum tish. Wait that isn't right, ahem, like a virgin girl when it finally comes down to it and the panties come off. See also, prom after party.

stevec666:

RyoScar:
STOP SAYING FIRST! YOU DON'T NEED TO SAY IT! WE CAN SEE YOU ARE!

but now i KNOW, you know im first :P

We also know you're an obnoxious idiot.

I'm surprised Yahtzee is reviewing an RPG, though.
I loved the end, too.

Actually, the entire rant was pretty damn good, which is nice.

You fired your lazar.

But yeah, it looks a good game, but Warcraft already does all the stuff with more people (probably) so whats the point?

I am enjoying the game and this review made me giggle so good job once again.

Y'know, I could have been first. I really could have. But I'm not. Why? Because I watched the FUCKING video first so my comments could have some actual depth to them. And with that out of the way...

This review is actually just in time. Recently I let slip to my roommates that I had never played Mass Effect, which caused both of them to jump up and down, screeching and flinging poo like chimpanzees, all of which boiled down to...

"OMG PLAY MASS EFFECT NOW ITS TEH 1337 EPIC WIN YAAAY!!!"

So, to avoid getting a facefull of fanboy crap I reluctantly started playing the game and found it lacking. Lacking in gameplay, lacking in excitement, and, surprisingly for a game with so much dialogue, lacking in depth. Now that Bioware's made this game, I knew it would only be a matter of time before they came to my room screeching out

"OMG PLAY DRAGON AGE et cetera et cetera"

Now I can safely say that I will rather take their fanboy doodoo to the face as opposed to playing through the game. And it's not because I think the game is bad, or that I think it's dull, or anything like that.

It's the whole '25 hour bit' that turns me off of it.

Great review, Yahtzee, and thank you. And just so you know, if I knew how to code Flash, there would have been a Yahtzee game called Destroy All Quick Time Events.

Now, how about some MW2? I'm sure you need a new FPS to recover your manliness after a big RPG.

I find it incredibly petty how people seem to believe that posting as soon as possible is special; it MIGHT be special if, *GASP* they actually posted something USEFUL rather than just posting a few words that relate to nothing before even watching or reading the material in question.

On-topic;
I found this quite funny; especially the announcement of the winners to the Stonking Great Game Contest.

Also, it's nice to see you enjoying it, even if it is somewhat generic. I do agree with the whole humans thing though; some people are okay, but good luck finding many of them compared to all the other ignorant, inconsiderate and hypocritical douche bags that fill me with so much contempt.

In my defense, the tower defense genera is less saturated than the platform jumper genera, and mine was the only tower defense style game entered in the contest. I briefly considered doing a platform jumper as well, but I figured every one else would make platform jumpers and I was right.

Ultimately the greatest amusement with ZP comment section is to see how many tards get b& before the blatant Yahtzee cocksucking fest starts. Also, first. As in, my first post. Go me.

There is a reason why Black Isle RPs are such humongous piles of flowers and awesome. It's because they all work the same, ie, the only way an RPG CAN work. The fact that Dragon Age is so captivating that you can waste nights (and days) with it instead of going to spectrometry lectures is a testament to the fact that sometimes you don't have to be creative in order to be GOOD.

But really, the whole warrior/rogue/mage thing in DA is not actually the whole thing when it comes to character development, what with how specializations affect the gameplay. Ironically they don't make a difference. I can have a character wipe out the entire circle (lol spailers) in fear of them all being blood mages, while at the same time selecting blood mage specialization as soon as it comes available (also, picking "Reaver" specialization for the mage-fearing alistair for great justice).

even if someone made a game where instead of elves shooting bows and arrows and talking to trees you had maroon skinned kangaroo people that live in treetop castles and shoot acid balls through their plastic nerf guns some1 you would still probably think of them like this "oh so they are this universe's version of elves" just like the Asari were in Mass Effect or the bunny ppl are in Final Fatasy, yes its all been used a gizillion times over but it works, and this game works especially well. And ofc the radial menu isnt a problem cause the only real version of the game is on the PC where there are none. ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES, GO PC(dieing gaming platform flame rant over...). Great review as ever keep it up.

Maybe its my inner fanboy speaking, but after having played through Dragon Age I don't really see that many similarities between it what what Yathzee describes.

Sure, it has elves humans and dwarves but they are hardly like anything Tolkin had.
Elves are mostly former slaves living in ghettos and dwarves are living in a stalinistic caste system (taking the greatest prick award in this game) and humans are, well humans.

And while there is some generic evil on the border the main plot is more about the inner power struggle of the country.
He also didn't mention anything about the companions which are really interesting (but involve a lot of talking and yes, there is a lot of text. But imo thats good).

The combat isn't really like Mass Effect either. Ok, maybe it is on the consoles, but on PC it is more like NWN.

And yet we are blessed with another great review courtesy of Yahtzee. Unfortunately I can't provide any constructive criticism, as I can't really see any flaws with it. Well done.

Now I'm off to find the contest-winning game.

He liked it lol. Awesome game.

I had no idea what Dragon Age was before this review, now I know and know not to get it. Thanks Yahtzee!

"Resume Credits!"

Amusingly enough, this is one of the few ZP reviews that I agree with 100%. Dragon Age is good, but it's also extremely generic.

So he actually... err "enjoyed" an Arr-Pee-Gee then? Well I guess there's always a first...

Him actually putting "Baldur's Gate" in the same line as "Morrowind", "Oblivion", "Age of Conan" and "World of Warcraft" tells me perfectly fine that he still doesn't know what the fuck he is talking about though xD

...also, do not, ever, play the Console version of FPS, RTS and RPG games if there is a choice...

If you buy it, get the PC version.

TheAmazingTGIF:
If Mass Effect hated you for not spending several hours in the Codex, then Dragon Age will kill your family and desecrate their corpses if you don't.

Sadly enough, they actually use the codex more in Dragon Age since you have to learn some of your quest info in there. I rather liked it. *hides before shunned*

THOUGH IN MY DEFENSE I DID NOT READ ALL OF THEM!!! *flees*

Game is awesome, on my second playthrough and have about four more planned out. And I still manage to have sex in real life. XD

I thought I was the only one tired to death of the generic fantasy setting. It'd be much more interesting, IMO, if they had an alternate history take on fantasy, like if real magic was discovered in the historical middle ages instead of another generic fantasy setting. Instead of fighting more generic orcs and playing pretend politics, you could fling fireballs at the French and explore a neat alternate timeline.

Good review, though. Still on the fence on whether or not to get DA:O, guess it depends on how much free time I have in the coming weeks, and how quickly I bore of Left 4 Dead 2.

For a more original fantasy RPG, try one of Spiderweb Software's games. No elves or dwarves!

Jannycats:
I can't believe that he complained that the game is too long. Wtf, I thought that playing a short game was bad and a reasonably-sized one was too boring. You can't really win with Yahtzee can you?

No, he said he was having trouble calling it a good or bad game because he didn't seem to be near finishing it.

The biggest problem with ZP threads is that people don't listen.

If they did, we'd never hear "did Yahtzee like this game or not!?" or "there's no pleasing him!" all the time.

bartholen:

When you think about it, he doesn't even talk about the game that much. Just complaining about cliched fantasy settings and dragon age's cliched-ness.

bartholen:
....he doesn't even talk about the game that much. Just complaining about...dragon age's cliched-ness.

bartholen:
...doesn't even talk about [Dragon Age] that much...Just complaining about...dragon age...

Please try harder in the future.

I turn my back for a few minutes and suddenly there are two pages of comments.

Whoooo, the contest was mentioned!

Willwillwritehiswill:
Very good. Was considering getting this and now the similarities to mass effect have piqued my interest.

In Mass Effect your own character talks when you decide what to say during conversations, but i have heard that in this game your character just stays still and never says anything and that is something i HATE since it takes all of the immersion out of the game in my opinion and makes my character feel empty and hollow. One of the reasons for why i loved Mass Effect so much is that my character actually says shit and has some personality.

By the way, your Origin in DA gets important again near the end.

Hardcore_gamer:

Willwillwritehiswill:
Very good. Was considering getting this and now the similarities to mass effect have piqued my interest.

In Mass Effect your own character talks when you decide what to say during conversations, but i have heard that in this game your character just stays still and never says anything and that is something i HATE since it takes all of the immersion out of the game in my opinion and makes my character feel empty and hollow. One of the reasons for why i loved Mass Effect so much is that my character actually says shit and has some personality.

Thats hardly possible to do in Dragon Age. In Mass Effect you had very limited character creation options and thus it was able to make 2 default voices for your character. In DA you would need quite a lot of voices to cover all combinations.

hamster mk 4:
In my defense, the tower defense genera is less saturated than the platform jumper genera, and mine was the only tower defense style game entered in the contest. I briefly considered doing a platform jumper as well, but I figured every one else would make platform jumpers and I was right.

If your the guy that made the defense game can i ask a question?

(well i am anyway)

What decided to do the weird resource thing, and to make your guys fade out after a while and was the boss level the last one?

BTW i liked you game better then the guy that got 1st

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