Zero Punctuation: Dante's Inferno

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oh the rants and raves of an angry agnostic...

DominicxD:
"It beats the fuck out of me!"

fucking lol'd

Nice vid, different voice though o_O

diddo

Nice summary. I liked the "not gay" part.

This was a weird episode for me, I found everything mildly amusing up until the end gag and then it was as if you had carefully crafted together a scenario where everything was hilarious but all the laughing that was supposed to occur throughout didn't hit the viewer until the end where they would promptly die in horrible agony by being suffocated via their own laughter Joker style.

Well I lived, barely, so you'll need to find another way to kill all the annoying fans.

"It beats the fuck out of me!"
Brilliant, Yahtzee.

As to your surely rhetorical question at the end of the review, I'll be a dick and answer: Supposedly, getting caught up in the gales was supposed to symbolize being swept away by your many romances. Retarded, I know.

When the trailer for this game came out I remarked that it looked like just another cookie cutter hack-N-Slasher, and I got flamed by idiots. It's good to see that I was right all along, this game is shit, and anyone that likes it has no taste.

And he had to sneak in yet another "I'm not gay" moment in there...

first hes just mad because EA didnt send him two boxes to smash to bits
second hes going to look back at it and say how he liked it beter then x game even though y game is better and his friends a - m are complete dicks...

Arcanist:
"It beats the fuck out of me!"
Brilliant, Yahtzee.

As to your surely rhetorical question at the end of the review, I'll be a dick and answer: Supposedly, getting caught up in the gales was supposed to symbolize being swept away by your many romances. Retarded, I know.

or maybe its because the game sucks...or hell sucks hell probobly both *huh I just used hell in one sentance with two different meanings*
Can i get a cookie?

"My right hand on a Sunday night..."

Oh god... this is my new favorite ZP.

But really, boobs and Lucifer's wang does not a good game make. Got my platinum trophy in two days and now going to trade it in for something that isn't a ripoff, like Afrika... oh wait, that's just Pokemon Snap On Safari.

Dont buy. Ok glad thats setttled, now to dust myself off and play some Napoleon TW instead (because im soooo boring)

Heh, I laughed a couple of times.

Good stuff, would never play the game.

Again, fantastic work. There's almost always something that makes me laugh really hard in these videos. Guess this time I check the comments and find consensus. Awesome!

Though I dare say, that our good misanthropic games critic seems to have a lot of pent up rage for EA from this one, and I can't help but wonder if it's misplaced. The singing box seemed to me like the bastard child of a certain English singer of the fading eighties resurrected as a meme, and another prick at EA with too much free time and a gift certificate for Home Depot. Plus sledgehammer.

Though I've got to wonder, if Yahtzee had the chance to do something equally mean spirited, would he do it? Maybe take over some of the jumbo-trons on the sides of buildings in [Name metropolis here] and play some of that dancing-boxers with ping pong ball eyes on them, from the days of yore?

I'll keep watching on youtube for video of that to pop up. Until then, I'll just wonder.

Did anyone else notice that his energy level seemed a lot lower for this video? Does Yahtzee still have a cold? Feel better, Yahtzee!

Uh oh, Dante tries to rationalize cheating on Beatrice.
Well, with the way she dresses (or doesn't), I'm sure she'll find a nice demon some day to sweet her off her feet.

That is absolutely one of the best and funniest videos in a while. I'm glad that this game has been given the crucifixion it deserves for bastardising the Divine Comedy and saturating the airwaves with a stupidly overhyped marketing campaign.

Personally, I had fun just playing the demo. Then again, I have a fetish for overdramatic, cheesy, gory, seventh grader crap. If you're going to do something, do it with as much vulgarity, over the top-ness, and gratuitous violence and nudity as you can. Now -that's- entertainment. And Dante's Inferno definitely entertained me for all the right reasons. And several of the wrong ones. My wallet's not exactly burning a hole in my pocket right now, though, so I'll probably be getting Dante's Inferno when it's been cut down to half price or whatever, like almost everyone else in this forum.

I'm suprised he didn't mention Lucifer's giant death wang...

your voice sounds slower :D

your right god of war 3 better

i love and loled your vids yatzee your great

"It beats the fuck out of me!"

Does anyone else get the impression that Yahtzee's been holding that one in for a long time, either waiting for the absolute perfect moment to use it, or just giving in after he couldn't take it anymore?

Great review Yahtzee, looking forward to Heavy Rain!

Ahhhhh, Yahtzee, forever making me laugh, recommending me games, and showing me that most atheists still don't understand ANY of their favorite punching-bag religion. Your badly misguided jabs at Christianity made me laugh harder than the rest of the review.

I dunno I think dantes inferno is good and different enough from god of war

This game had me very hyped when i first heard about it. I may be picking this up eventually but first GOW3

Ok, this one was hilarious. Nice wank jokes... "beats the fuck out of me!" hahaha

Also, turn down the music at the end please.

Little Duck:

spartan773:

Little Duck:

spartan773:

Little Duck:
Just a quick question, will you be reviewing no more heroes 2?

not yet because michael atkinson likes to fuck over austrailian gamers, so give him some time as the game goes through the standard flogging most games seem to get while being prepared for PAL releases.
you do have to know he's in Australia, so he can't review a game the moment it comes out in the US or UK. It doesn't work that way dude.

I know. I just want to know if he plans to. I'm going back to mr Wii in a few weeks and I'd like to pick it up, but if it's not on par with the original I'll leave it be.

Fuck yeah, get it. there's tons of changes and has been getting decent reviews all across the board... BUT before you even fork out the 40 bucks for the game... why don't you rent a copy and try it?

Why would I do that if buying it outright is universaly cheaper?

try it at least.

Yahtzee sounds like he's losing his voice! Almost makes me wonder if it would have been better to wait until he was healthier. On the other hand, then we would have to wait for a new vid and that would just be sad.

Get well soon Yahtzee!

Loved the review. I'm still getting the game when it drops in price though.

I choked on a peanut as he finished with "Hairy bum!".

Excellent review as always, except this is the first one in a while where I've laughed out loud/choked on a peanut.

wow, 6 pages and over 200 replies. let me just read through each and- no, fuck it, i have a billion other sites to visit before the work day ends.

Just wanted to toss in a humble opinion that Dante's graphics are noticably better than GoW2, and GoW3 will not be coming to the xbox360 - so if you only have an xbox360 you will probably love the shit out of this game.

I'm stunned by everyone saying it brutally rips of god of war like that's a bad thing. I am unaware of any "like god of war" game i can enjoy on the xbox360 that is half as good as this. wtf?

It's like reviewing Dead Space and saying it's a brutal Resident Evil 4 rip off with some extra bullshit, so just wait for the next RE game. - Actually, no, Dead Space is a pretty sweet game that chooses polish and mood instead of innovation.

I haven't completed iDante yet, admitted, but so far I've found it ridiculously hard to put down. At no point have I felt bored. It moves along exceedingly well.

my question for Yahtzee would be:
If God of War didn't exist, wouldn't Dante's Inferno be a good game?

i think the marketing department fucked this game. If it'd been handled differently we'd all be laughing our asses off at the huge balls on these fuckers who took a classic epic poem and turned it into 13 year old heavy metal fantasy. Everyone would want it. We'd all be high fiving and saying snarky shit like "have you read the divine comedy?" "no, but I have beaten it."
...
I mean - when you die, it quotes the poem while loading. THAT IS HILARIOUSLY AWESOME.

warrenEBB:

I'm stunned by everyone saying it brutally rips of god of war like that's a bad thing. I am unaware of any "like god of war" game i can enjoy on the xbox360 that is half as good as this. wtf?

1. Darksiders
2. Bayonetta

Both are superior games, both came out before this one, both only have some element's similar to gow while dante's is 24/7 bad clone.

littlerudi08107:
When the trailer for this game came out I remarked that it looked like just another cookie cutter hack-N-Slasher, and I got flamed by idiots. It's good to see that I was right all along, this game is shit, and anyone that likes it has no taste.

I tried the Demo. Then I watched the G-d of War 3 demo review.

Not even close.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVbm2g5NqzA

Check it out.

Not amused by the masturbation jokes nearly as much as the rest of the fanbase. Still, it seems to reaffirm the standard complaints about the game, while tossing in a few bum and wank jokes.

Was already passing on this game, given the complaints that the last (insert portion) of the game was lackluster and unimaginative. Well, not passing, but waiting until it's 20 bucks or less. This certainly helped keep that feeling alive.

LazyAza:

1. Darksiders
2. Bayonetta
Both are superior games, both came out before this one, both only have some element's similar to gow while dante's is 24/7 bad clone.

K, I'll buy Darksiders. Fiiiiiine. :)
(everyone keeps saying it's like God's tits).
But isn't it a big zelda rip off? Maybe i've gotten my reviews confused...

I have played some of Bayonetta, and love the bizarre tone (humor? cultural-difference insanity-juice?). But I find it hard to sit through the cut scenes. And I thought it was "technically" considered a Devil May Cry rip off. in the science of rippeth offeth-ish. ness. (though I wonder if it isn't really a rip off of MGS4, which had legendarily long/boring cut scenes, yeah? I won't buy MGS4 because i don't like cut scenes. but. i wonder...)

With dante's, on the first play through, I found myself crawling along walls into the Lust realm, at two in the morning on a work night, and thought - OK! JESUS! i need to stop playing! damnnn.

which is to say:
I just thought the flow was really excellent.
I kept saying "ok, just a little more". which is a difficult user-experience to master, methinks.

"IT BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF ME"

now we know why all aussies are so happy.

HAW!
and some have said he has lost his touch!
Thank you for the engaging review,
you saved me time and money that I would never get back otherwise...............

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