Zero Punctuation: God of War III

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Alex McAuslin:
I expected more on the whole Athena thing. She pops in the game like 3 times, seemingly unable to do anything directly, but then starts to do stuff like magically make new blades appear and pick up pandora. If she can do that why doesn't she go stop Zeus herself? And she never really explained why she is against Zeus now. Like she gave her life for him. Wtf. Then at the end of the game she wants hope... for what? Then when she doesn't get it she is just like "I'm Disappointed." and floats off like nothing is wrong. What the hell was she there for? What did she want? What were her goals?

Then there is the obvious thing of there being a bunch of titans on Olympus and we only ever see 2 after the cut scene (not including Kronos. He was in Tartarus.) and the second one we saw for a brief instant in which we flew over, hit him in the eye, and kept flying. What happened to the rest of them? Did they just give up and go home for some unknown reason?

I think its supposed to be that while you were off in tartarus massacering random dudes in your way the gods were busy slaughtering the titans. I was pretty dissapointed you didnt get to kill more of them or atleast see them die though.

Alex McAuslin:

Then my last nitpick in which we are lead to believe that Kratos, who had a giant sword shaped hole through his body, is still alive because of the blood trail leading off the cliff. I think the game was amazing but the end really ruined it for me for the most part.

See you and I kind of took a different view of that ending. I just assumed that they were trying to recapture the beginning of the first one where he jumped off a cliff aswell.

the game itself was rather underwhelming since there was basically no story except slaughter everybody who even thinks of looking at you. The puzzles were great as usual and the best part of the game. One thing that i did differently is that i only used the swords you start with untill i got another weapon and never touched them again. The actual powers you got were pretty much useless though. The bow was crap even fully upgraded and helios` head was useless in combat 99% of the time.

A1:

geldonyetich:
Seems a tad unenthusiastic. Almost as though opening a bar in a major Australian metropolitan area may somehow be draining.

Anywho, at the risk of attracting replies from kneejerking GoW fans, personally I was bored of GoW when I was bored of Devil May Cry. GoW-III may be "fun," but (from the other 3 1/2 minutes Yahtzee was talking) sounds like it's lacking in worthwhile substance.

Lacking in worthwhile substance? I hope you realize that that particular charge can be plausibly leveled at most video games in existence.

Speak of the devil.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Consistency certainly doesn't seem to be Yahtzee's strong point.

Yes, because it's completely unreasonable for a person to have two minds about anything.

(Note to confused onlookers or Mods-who-feel-they-can't-get-through-the-day-without-slapping-somebody-with-a-probation: I'm being short with A1 for a reason. I've a long history explaining to him why it is that Yahtzee can have a definite negative opinion while expressing a positive note as a counterpoint at some part of his reviews, especially on the subject of certain PS3 games. These explanations have fallen on deaf ears in every attempt, he's absolutely adamant that Yahtzee won't be clear, even in the face of articles where he's attempted to clarify, and I've neither the time nor willpower to try again.)

DUUUDE, stop changing your voice, this one isn't funny

Well shit the bed. He liked it.

SextusMaximus:
You can't complain that a game has TOO MUCH variety... Ah well.

You can, the original Ninja Gaiden on the xbox had a vast array of weapons. None of which were as useful as the starting sword you were used too and had been spending your points upgrading. Variety for the sake of variety is "meh".

wait a minute, that didn't sounded like yatzee at all. what is going on here >.> <.<

SextusMaximus:
I'm starting to grow weary of all the hate... I understand you want to please your fans, but now you're just nitpicking! You can't complain that a game has TOO MUCH variety... Ah well.

I might be getting into semantics, but I would suppose you shouldn't complain about a game having too much variety, can't isn't the right word, because he definitely DID.

I would have to agree though, if there are items and weapons that are superfluous why have them, and I think that's the point he's trying to get at. If I already have pointy object A that's attached to a chain, why do I need pointy objects B and C that are also attached to chains, especially if A, B, and C all perform nearly the same function.

SonicKoala:

They got banned for responding to the video before they'd finished watching it - it essentially just boils down to a bunch of people wanting to yell "first" on the forums, which isn't taken kindly here. Notice how their posts were all around 9:02, when the video was posted at 9:00 and was 5 minutes long. Yeah, don't do that =D

if that ' s the case he's just another "hairy bum" lol

and in the end(ing) the imp wins again! (such succedors)

little shallower than previous reviews

Very nice review Yahtzee, love the review. Sorry about the sore throat though.

minnerva:
wait a minute, that didn't sounded like yatzee at all. what is going on here >.> <.<

I think Yathzee has a sore throat from working at the Mana bar (or God knows for what other reason). Altho he sounds suspiciously similar to what he sounded like in his first videos.

I rather enjoyed the bit calmer than usual. Of course I also think it was an appropriate game for that to happen with. It's not a bad game. The series is fun to play. It's like some sort of timing (karma *cough*) lined up at just the right time for this review.

Loved the voice. I dunno if anyone has been around since the beginning with the very first review of The Darkness. This was basically his original voice, without all the yelling and stuff. And I really enjoy his old reviews. I liked that he was calm and just talked fast. Fantastic review, truly a return to form for Yahtzee.

A1:

Mcface:

A1:

geldonyetich:
Seems a tad unenthusiastic. Almost as though opening a bar in a major Australian metropolitan area may somehow be draining.

Anywho, at the risk of attracting replies from kneejerking GoW fans, personally I was bored of GoW when I was bored of Devil May Cry. GoW-III may be "fun," but (from the other 3 1/2 minutes Yahtzee was talking) sounds like it's lacking in worthwhile substance.

Lacking in worthwhile substance? I hope you realize that that particular charge can be plausibly leveled at most video games in existence.

If you haven't already seen it this video points out a number of interesting things but what I'm referring to specifically this time around is when he says "right now about 95% of the video games in the world......" near the beginning of the video.

http://www.destructoid.com/rev-rant-fun-isn-t-enough-142052.phtml

But of course Yahtzee probably wouldn't be one to agree with the video as a whole. In his review of Saints Row 2 Yahtzee strongly implies that fun is all that's needed in a game. Of course this also makes his petty God of War 3 nitpicking all the more odd. But then again I've said it before and I'll say it again. Consistency certainly doesn't seem to be Yahtzee's strong point.

As if it's impossible to like a game where you drive around in a huge varity of cars, use a varity of weapons, customize yourself in hundredes of different ways blowing people to hell, and dislike a hack and slash game?

Don't split hairs. Mindless fun is still mindless fun. Does it really matter where it comes from?

And Yahtzee certainly doesn't dislike God of War 3.

If mindless fun is more mindless than fun, it is different.

yourbeliefs:
A somewhat bland review not helped by his sickness affecting his voice, but is rather accurate in the sense that Kratos does seem to take this whole revenge thing a LITTLE too seriously, and thus is harder to relate to his plight. I'm still working through the game but I've killed about 3 Gods and now the seas are flooding, the sun is gone, and vegetation is dying. And when one of the Gods who is really innocent in all of this brings up the fact that his quest is ruining the world, Kratos proceeds to break said God's neck. It still is a fun game that every PS3 owner should experience, but the feeling that you're fighting for the best cause that was there in 1 and 2 (destroying Ares to save Olympus and to eliminate your nightmares, getting revenge on the Gods after they betray you) is lost in this. Really be ready to check your brain at the door, but you'll still have tons of fun.

Not to sound like I'm flaming or anything, since I have to wonder to myself if I can word this in such a way that it won't come off like that, but I find it a little funny and kind of "meta" to come off sounding like you're reviewing a .. review.

geldonyetich:

A1:

geldonyetich:
Seems a tad unenthusiastic. Almost as though opening a bar in a major Australian metropolitan area may somehow be draining.

Anywho, at the risk of attracting replies from kneejerking GoW fans, personally I was bored of GoW when I was bored of Devil May Cry. GoW-III may be "fun," but (from the other 3 1/2 minutes Yahtzee was talking) sounds like it's lacking in worthwhile substance.

Lacking in worthwhile substance? I hope you realize that that particular charge can be plausibly leveled at most video games in existence.

Speak of the devil.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Consistency certainly doesn't seem to be Yahtzee's strong point.

Yes, because it's completely unreasonable for a person to have two minds about anything.

(Note to confused onlookers or Mods-who-feel-they-can't-get-through-the-day-without-slapping-somebody-with-a-probation: I'm being short with A1 for a reason. I've a long history explaining to him why it is that Yahtzee can have a definite negative opinion while expressing a positive note as a counterpoint at some part of his reviews, especially on the subject of certain PS3 games. These explanations have fallen on deaf ears in every attempt, he's absolutely adamant that Yahtzee won't be clear, even in the face of articles where he's attempted to clarify, and I've neither the time nor willpower to try again.)

So it's completely unreasonable for someone to be consistent I guess.

And the main problem is that you've been trying to explain things and clarify things. But you really have no right to do that.

Such explanations are not yours to give. Such clarifications are not yours to make. That's why they don't hold any real weight. This is Yahtzee's opinion so only he can do those things.

And exactly what "articles" would those be?

And another thing is you at one point described yourself as a "tireless rebutter". What happened with that interesting declaration?

I agree with him on the story goes. Gameplay is great. Playing an anti-hero is one thing. But Kratos' murder spree starts getting a little ridiculous. It seems like he's going out of his way to murder things. He's more cartoonishly vicious now.

Also, does anyone else wonder why in god of war 2 he didn't simply just (spoiler warnings) use the sisters time travel thing to go back in time to save his family, as opposed to bringing back the titans to destroy the gods. I know, its because we won't have god of war 3, but I hate time travel because of these kind of loopholes.

I'm kind of surprised you didn't make any comments about almost absurdly well-rendered titties, but I suppose that would've been too obvious?

Or perhaps it was such a tiny part of the game that it didn't even bare mentioning...

Sounds like he's got a sore throat or a cold.

He didn't drop the "Like God of War but" bomb this time... I wonder why...

Another great review. But I gotta say, it was still a highly enjoyable and fun game. Not perfect, because of course nothing's perfect, and definitely not even close to perfect, but it was just...fun.

Mcface:

A1:

Mcface:

A1:

geldonyetich:
Seems a tad unenthusiastic. Almost as though opening a bar in a major Australian metropolitan area may somehow be draining.

Anywho, at the risk of attracting replies from kneejerking GoW fans, personally I was bored of GoW when I was bored of Devil May Cry. GoW-III may be "fun," but (from the other 3 1/2 minutes Yahtzee was talking) sounds like it's lacking in worthwhile substance.

Lacking in worthwhile substance? I hope you realize that that particular charge can be plausibly leveled at most video games in existence.

If you haven't already seen it this video points out a number of interesting things but what I'm referring to specifically this time around is when he says "right now about 95% of the video games in the world......" near the beginning of the video.

http://www.destructoid.com/rev-rant-fun-isn-t-enough-142052.phtml

But of course Yahtzee probably wouldn't be one to agree with the video as a whole. In his review of Saints Row 2 Yahtzee strongly implies that fun is all that's needed in a game. Of course this also makes his petty God of War 3 nitpicking all the more odd. But then again I've said it before and I'll say it again. Consistency certainly doesn't seem to be Yahtzee's strong point.

As if it's impossible to like a game where you drive around in a huge varity of cars, use a varity of weapons, customize yourself in hundredes of different ways blowing people to hell, and dislike a hack and slash game?

Don't split hairs. Mindless fun is still mindless fun. Does it really matter where it comes from?

And Yahtzee certainly doesn't dislike God of War 3.

If mindless fun is more mindless than fun, it is different.

Interesting. But with regard to the God of War III review it's only conjecture.

13thforswarn:
Sounds like he's got a sore throat or a cold.

He didn't drop the "Like God of War but" bomb this time... I wonder why...

Because this is God of War. There's no need to drop the "Like God of War but..." on something that is God of War.

Anyway, to the main point of this post. I remember that after people viewed Yahtzee's Assassin's Creed 2 review, there was alot of discussion concerning his voice and how different it was. He then had to devote an Extra Punctuation article explaining why his voice sounded different instead of focusing on something more insightful.

For fuck's sake people, do we really need to keep talking about how his voice is different this time. Yahtzee has already stated that he has a sore throat on a Twitter post and other people here have already pointed that out. Do we need Yahtzee to waste his next Extra Punctuation article on his voice when he could be using it to bring his unique brand of wisdom to us all concerning Kratos' character or the God of War series in general? The answer is no. So please stop talking about his sore throat already!

A1:
And another thing is you at one point described yourself as a "tireless rebutter". What happened with that interesting declaration?

I became an old curmudgeon whose dislike for kids on his lawn has grown to exceed his enjoyment for the pastime of butting heads with them. Although, in truth, I haven't shaken the habit entirely - I'm here, after all - and I'll rebut a lot of topics. However, you're out of luck here because I've come to recognize a situation in which there seems to be zero progress at all as being futile.

Perhaps the other party has overmuch respect for "consistency" (funny how close such a respect is to "wanton ignorance" or "stubbornness"). Perhaps the other side is taking the matter too personally and will expend every fiber of their creativity to opposing everything I say -- perhaps unaware that making excuses not to understand is something any adequately willful 5-year-old can do. Perhaps because the other party only makes adequate time to read the parts of the message they want to read and are overly eager to disregard the rest, like any other drooling serial nitpicker. Perhaps the other party simply enjoys having a belief, in time-honored human tradition, and in doing so has consciously chosen to regard anything expressed to the contrary to be an absolutely unacceptable blemish on the face of mankind.

I'm sure this isn't a complete list of why no progress is being made. They're all easy pitfalls of commonplace delusion that the poor sap on the other side of my message may have succumbed to as easily as breathing. The result is the same: I'm wasting my time. There's a difference between a tireless rebutter and a flat out stupid one.

I'd extend you the same respect I'm demanding here but it's too late now. You've given me too many signs in the wrong direction. You've tripped my futility alarm. I'm more or less positive now that, were I able to bend the very fabric of time and space with the power of my words alone, you would instantly manifest the ability to be in a small pocket dimension where you're still in stark disagreement. Consequently, I've written off this whole back and forth with you in regards to Yahtzee's "consistency" as being a radical difference in perspective.

So, instead, I've undergone a topic shift. I'm telling you to get the hell off my lawn. By that, I don't mean the Escapist - that's not my jurisdiction. Rather, I'm implying you should stop barking up this particular tree (myself) trying to pick an argument. Not unless you want to argue about how sick I am with arguing with you, because apparently that's a topic I am interested in.

Besides, contrary to what my obsessive-compulsive editing of this message suggests, I've better things to do. It's dawned on me that any amount of typing I could be spending here would be better spent working my Indy game. I've a Spanish 102 exam coming up tomorrow, and am subtly wondering when I'll stop ignoring it. These and other matters take higher priority than this deeply ingrained forum habit of mine.

Not a tireless rebutter. Hrmph. Look at all those finely crafted words I made while under the firm belief that they will be ignored or misunderstood.

A1:

Mcface:

A1:

Mcface:

A1:

geldonyetich:
Seems a tad unenthusiastic. Almost as though opening a bar in a major Australian metropolitan area may somehow be draining.

Anywho, at the risk of attracting replies from kneejerking GoW fans, personally I was bored of GoW when I was bored of Devil May Cry. GoW-III may be "fun," but (from the other 3 1/2 minutes Yahtzee was talking) sounds like it's lacking in worthwhile substance.

Lacking in worthwhile substance? I hope you realize that that particular charge can be plausibly leveled at most video games in existence.

If you haven't already seen it this video points out a number of interesting things but what I'm referring to specifically this time around is when he says "right now about 95% of the video games in the world......" near the beginning of the video.

http://www.destructoid.com/rev-rant-fun-isn-t-enough-142052.phtml

But of course Yahtzee probably wouldn't be one to agree with the video as a whole. In his review of Saints Row 2 Yahtzee strongly implies that fun is all that's needed in a game. Of course this also makes his petty God of War 3 nitpicking all the more odd. But then again I've said it before and I'll say it again. Consistency certainly doesn't seem to be Yahtzee's strong point.

As if it's impossible to like a game where you drive around in a huge varity of cars, use a varity of weapons, customize yourself in hundredes of different ways blowing people to hell, and dislike a hack and slash game?

Don't split hairs. Mindless fun is still mindless fun. Does it really matter where it comes from?

And Yahtzee certainly doesn't dislike God of War 3.

If mindless fun is more mindless than fun, it is different.

Interesting. But with regard to the God of War III review it's only conjecture.

Agreed. But he is a critic, it's his job to be funny and unfair. I don't own a PS3 but it's one of the few games I do want to play when I get mine.

I hope you feel better soon, Yahtzee.

SextusMaximus:
I'm starting to grow weary of all the hate... I understand you want to please your fans, but now you're just nitpicking! You can't complain that a game has TOO MUCH variety... Ah well.

Not necessarily, if a game has too much variety in is weapons/magic/items and it is not a RPG, shooter, or something like it, then some of them will never be used. It's not bad as it is a shame. You want to mix things up and have variety, but if you can dominate by using one weapon and 1 or 2 items/magic those extras are just extras.

What happened to ZP's voice? It sounds like his review of Psychonauts.

Funny review as ever.
I although thought the same thing:
Why do we need God of War 3? Isn't is just God of War 2 but prettier and with an even worse plot?
I'm sure you could just save some money and play through God of War 2 again, and if you desperately want to know how the story ends (SPOILERS! KRATOS KILLS A LOT OF GODS!) then just watch the (unskippable) cutscenes on Youtube.

"he murders people for things they are flat out offering him"

Is he referring to how he got Apollo's bow? It was the only thing I can think of and I don't think it qualifies.

If Yahtzee had a different kind of sore throat, he could've done that review in a mock-up of Kratos' voice actor...teheee

Man, Yatzee seemed pretty mellow this time around. I think he needs to lay off (or on) the pills and get back to the snap and slap criticisms we all love.

The sore throat voice actually reminds me of his first Escapist video. Retro, baby! :-D

black-magic:
Ar will never replace nom yhatzee! neveerrr!

What?

OT, that was a pretty good one. Made me laught more than usual, dunno why.

I'm glad he pointed out how kratos became a complete dick. I still like the games, but at this point it's only for the gameplay. I actually can't stand kratos anymore

oh you miss your wife? can't miss her too much if you're banging anything that moves...

Wow this is very sad when Yahtzee has been bashing all the GoW copy/knock offs and now. He sound like GoW is not what he wanted. His whole reveiw might have seemed positive but if the only good parts is keeping the good combat and cleaning up the puzzles so the game play but boss fights are good. I too would be disappointed. Glad I did not go out and spend 60 bucks on something that even Yahtzee sounds like he is depressed and displeased with it. Was it me or did he sound like he was ready to commit sucide.

another great review. Keep it up Yahtzee!

AdmiralMemo:
The sore throat voice actually reminds me of his first Escapist video. Retro, baby! :-D

Same here!! Yahtzee's tone in this video reminded me of his older reviews lmao!
Great dialouge though.

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