Escape to the Movies: A Nightmare on Elm Street

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Tch, although I had no intention of watching this movie anyway, I'd at least held some hope (purely out of academic interest) that it might be decent when I heard about the casting of Jackie Earl Hayley as Freddie and the new angle on the character. But I hadn't heard of Platinum Dunes at the time, which would have tipped me off if I'd known, so this really isn't surprising.

I don't see why people are obsessing over Bob's shot at Michael Bay and Halo. Come on, the Halo thing was just a gag for the end of the video, no need to get hung up on it!

Well before seeing this review I wasn't going to watch it, and now.... I'm still not. Horror movies aren't my thing but I will watch them. Remakes of horror movies are, in my opinion, a waste of time.

NOOOoooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT THE HALO MOVIE!!!! I know you don't like halo, but why do I have to suffer such a travesty?

Michael Bay and Halo? ...That might actually not suck.

Sacman:
If he does a Halo movie it would be the same as his Transformers movies extremely over rated and poorly directed crum buckets that will make an insane amount of money because the primary audience can't distinguish between abominations and art...

Even abominations can be art in their own way.

Taking a random stab at Halo? How original.

OT: I knew this would suck, too bad because I really like that actor.

CGI scenes of Space Marines jumping around in their shiny armor killing marketable alien scum with their Mattel manufactured weaponry, backed by orange lighting filters, a blaring rock soundtrack and lots of American flags/armed forces glamorizing? Yeah. Sounds like Bay.

Saw it yesterday. Should have seen your review before going Bob.

You should mention the loud bangs and sound effects that they use whenever Freddy appears in order to get you to jump. They use it practically every time he appears on-screen and was by far the most annoying thing about the film.

If you need to make loud noises whenever your villainous characters are on the screen, just to get a reaction from the audience then your obviously doing something wrong

Onyx Oblivion:
SOMEONE ELSE SAW ALL THE KING'S MEN?

Of course, this is MovieBob.

That was an awesome movie.

Now I have to watch just to see how bad it is...

I mean seriously, Freddy has always been a great character.
Then again, Michael Bay has always been a crappy film maker...

Here's to hoping they cancel each other out.

I figured they way this movie would be good is if they took today technology and realy made freddy do some incredable stuff, and that was what I would assume and they did not, man that is pretty lame.

It's a shame. That 'micro-nap' angle actually had me interested--I had this vision of a remake (not this one...a DECENT one) as being this very eerie descent, over a relatively small span of time. You'd have a small cast of maybe three or four main characters, and we'd follow them over the course of two or three days. They're all having Freddy dreams; they're all a little weirded out. Very slow burn for the entire first act.

They start meeting, etc; all finding out the others are having the dreams as well, etc etc. They struggle to stay up (c'mon, we can all see the Final Destination style showdown, where they're holed up with caffeinated drinks and blaring nu-metal, in an effort to stay awake) and then, FINALLY, the genius little gambit of micro-naps is introduced as the turning point. The characters all start descending into this non-stop psychological horrorscape (ala The Cell) and even WE starts losing track of what's a dream and what's not (the hero and the female lead are about to make out...suddenly she starts clawing his face off. He wakes up. She's standing at the window. He goes 'oh, thank--' ...she falls over dead.)

In this version, it should be understood, Freddy would essentially disappear between Acts 2 and 3. The implied THREAT of Freddy (the 'is this a dream' question) is the fuel the whole third act burns on.

In the climax of the movie, the various hallucinating characters all murder one another. The End.

Or is it?

Leave some plot threads laying around that suggest various interpretations. It could just be a dream of one or several or all of the characters. Was Freddy real? What did he represent? We lose the not-necessary-but-movie-producers-seem-to-feel-it-is classic horror ending of female empowerment (where the buxom blonde kills the bad guy, finds her inner goddess, yadda yadda) but what we gain is something almost sorta kinda resembling a piece of art.

Oh for some intelligent horror -_-

You told Bay to do a Halo movie...WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!

Agh, Bob is getting a bit predictable. "The good old days", "Micheal Bay sucks", "Halo sucks", "Mario is god's gift to man" etc. Ffs, mix it up a little instead of the tired old speeches about how everything was better in the 80's. Thanks.

zombie711:
I think he's just against michel bay.

In the words of Jack O'Neill "Ya think?"

EDIT: Also, I don't think I could stand the inevitable whining that would result if Bay did a Halo movie. ...which has already begun.

The face in the corner really added a new level of funny to this video. Thank you Moviebob for warning me on this. And the gore isn't that bad? Hmm... Doesn't even sound like a Nightmare.

I just saw it.

Storyline - non existant. There's some intrigue but they spend ~30 minutes on a character that doesn't go all the way. We are then introduced to the true star of the show and quite frankly she seems shallow.

Threat level - Freddy's still a badass. But seriously, he's more serial killer and less of a psychopath as implied through the actual (read - Wes Craven) movies.

Overall - Michael Bay got to it. Far better than Uwe Boll but only by a slim margin. There could have been so many implied scares instead of the cheap "OMG" moments that came up. I liked the micronap thing but seriously, DO SOMETHING WITH IT!!!

Movie gets a 5/10

It's average, you may watch it once, but it's nothing to really scare the pants off you like the originals.

Bob, i respect your perspective, and generally i agree with you. god knows i think this movie looks like pure garbage. but, could you please stfu about halo and stop finding excuses to slam it in your MOVIE reviews.

halo has a great story that deviates, in a lot of ways, from other scifi stories. i realize it's about aliens and the end of humanity and whatever, but the gem in the story is the spartan II program. not only that, but halo is a video game. and a damn fine one at that. the most balanced shooter on consoles and all the other things fans say about it. so once more, please STFU about it. and, moreover, don't EVER give the suggestion to Michael Bay to turn it into a movie. cuz god knows he'll do it. and i don't need him ruining something that I love. he can have transformers. a story about giant robots from another planet that want the cube that gave them life in the first place? now that is fucking stupid. ironically...that's the alien story you actually do like. go figure....

JdaS:
CGI scenes of Space Marines jumping around in their shiny armor killing marketable alien scum with their Mattel manufactured weaponry, backed by orange lighting filters, a blaring rock soundtrack and lots of American flags/armed forces glamorizing? Yeah. Sounds like Bay.

except there's more to the story than that. and it would be a shame if the halo movie is reduced to what you just described. if you read the fall of reach, you'd see that there is almost none of that. the story is about the development of the program. the selection of the most gifted children in the galaxy (cuz humanity has expanded to many territories), removing them from their families (and replacing them with clones), and training them to be the best soldiers humanity has ever seen. there are dealings with the rebels, there's naval strategy, the discovery of the halo. it's a great story.

stickmangrit:
interesting perspective

Hmm, I do remember my PC gaming days, I did particularly love Deus Ex (cannot wait for E3 provided that there is no relation to invisible war), I also understand to the PC audience I left behind in 2007 (I will explain in a bit) Halo seems rather crippled and small in comparison.

When it comes to PC gaming, I certainly am no stranger, and I have played, and still have all of the games you mentioned, Deus ex is still my second favourite game, and between 2005 and 2007 I was playing CS:S for actual monies at LANs with 4lphaDgUK, I was VERY good at it, in fact I made enough money to upgrade my gaming rig with a custom counterweighted mouse and a top of the line sound system, I was a big fan of the modding community and I played lots of different mutators on games like UT 2003 and UT 2004.

But

I always felt like I could be having more fun, of course during all of this I had been playing Halo: Combat Evolved on my father's XBox and loving every minute of it, I found the story to be really intriguing, eventually (after buying halo 2 and my own Xbox to play it on) I realised I was having more fun sat down talking and co ordinating with my friends on xbox live too (thats not to say I didn't use ventrilo on CS, but everyone on my team had come to the conclusion that they were the best in the world at the game so they didn't need some kid telling them how to play) so I got ahold of the books and read through them too, I was enthralled, I became a fan of the bungie podcast, started following their developer blog (to that point I was following VALVe, Ion Storm and those guys who made hitman, as well as the foresight institute for nanotechnology so I could feel smart), I carried on playing on the PC with my team, but spent more time on Guild Wars and such

The tipping point for me came on the 25th of September 07, Halo fans should know that date well of course, I told my team on ventrilo I had something to do and I would be back tomo-
then I was kicked from the room
I of course signed back in on my alt
"what the hell was that about?" I asked
"you're off to the Halo 3 midnight launch aren't you" came 28XmSt4's reply (a mod on the group)
"yes..."
"as in you own a 360 and are going to be playing halo?"
"yes..."
"how long have you been hiding this from us?"
"what that I enjoy playing games on a console?, since I picked up halo combat evolved 5 years ago mate! Since when was anything wrong with games consoles? If anything I find the 360 controller better for my gaming than this mouse I spent a mint on!"
"you aren't even a real gamer mate, F* off and stick to your toys! You are off the team!"

And I did, and since then the only things I do on my laptop (I downgraded to save money for uni, and I didn't need the memories) Are come here to watch reviews, go to bungie.net, get my music on to my phone, play guild wars and occasionally jump on facebook, that night PC gaming died to me and I have not looked back, I found it disgusting that a team that I fought alongside for years ostracised me in seconds when it was revealed that I play on consoles, its like the bisexual girl who gets kicked out of the lesbian society at college because she prefers guys in all honesty, I raise that comparison because I am entirely to blame for her getting de-outed ;), but the similarity is there no?

So I concede that PC games do tend to have a greater strength behind them and the modding community empowers that, and PC development teams tend to give their games VERY large stories and game worlds, and that the profitability of the "halo effect" has swayed many developers to consoles, however despite all of this, does it really justify the hatred that console gaming, and halo in particular recieve by the community at large and Moviebob in this case?

The main thing that grates me about the way Moviebob attacks Halo is that he seems to have no comprehension of the characters, the massive story or the immense amount of work that went into its developent, yet feels free to attack it for cheap laughs with numerous arguments that are irrefutably false.

Im sorry if I came off as a bit bigheaded in my previous post regarding my educational status, however another thing that really annoys me about Moviebob is his tendency to stereotype the halo fan as some chav/jock mouthing off at him on the street or some sort of pathetic nerd, you will have take my word for it (or just hit me up on facebook) that I am certainly neither.

Wow! this is bad, I truley am shocked (sarcasm!) still NOTHING could be as bad as tranformers revenge of the fallen, a movie I rented on blu-ray for FREE and still turned off after half an hour in disgust and apologised to my ps3 for running it!

As for halo, I know not every game can be universally liked but i'm getting the impression Halo bashing is more a reaction to the games popularity (though 2 and 3 were far too short and halo wars smelt of ass) and ok half life 2/orange box was a much better game but have you played crysis or killzone 2? they were much worse... I still wonder why people slagged off the resistance fall of man games another shooter franchise I actually enjoyed but I REally hope bay stays away from these (or halo).

Welp, I'm gonna need a 3ed opinion now.

Movie Bob = Hates it.
Cinema Snob = Likes it.

The original movie wasn't much cop, TBF, so it's no surprise that this is a load of shit.

Dreolic:
its times like this am glad I live in England, it means instead of having to see some crappy film this weekend I get to watch Ironman2........again :D

GAHHHHH you lucky jerk lol here were stuck with crap tacos and you got something worth a damn

Funny enough, my friend went out of town to go see this, big shock about how sicken he was by it and how hard i was laughing that he wasted gas, money, and life on a movie i knew was going to be crap but didn't know it was Mike Bay crap

nice review bob

Nodrog:
Agh, Bob is getting a bit predictable. "The good old days", "Micheal Bay sucks", "Halo sucks", "Mario is god's gift to man" etc. Ffs, mix it up a little instead of the tired old speeches about how everything was better in the 80's. Thanks.

Take a look at IMDB's top movies of 1987.

http://www.imdb.com/search/title?languages=en&release_date=1987,1987&title_type=feature

1987 was quite possibly the best year for movies ever, and there are tons of gems from that decade.

I'm not big on 80's music, over-all, I'd say it's marginally better than the stuff they make today and I'm grateful for the leaps and bounds in technology that have brought us some amazing gaming experiences...

...but movies today suck.

I believe part of the problem is that everything has to be such a big budget picture today that movies can't stand out as anything special. They have to be padded and softened to achieve the widest appeal to different segments, ensuring bigger takes. There ends up being nothing good nor bad about them. They're just ok enough to keep the few people who still go to the theater and regularly buy DVDs coming back. They can't afford to take a chance on art or great story telling any more.

Well they could- because many movies still easily make a 100% return on their investment in a short time... where the best wall street hedge fund manager can hope to make his clients 30%-40% annually.

i actually really loved this movie, and all of the sequels, but i get where your coming from

SomethingAmazing:

Sacman:
If he does a Halo movie it would be the same as his Transformers movies extremely over rated and poorly directed crum buckets that will make an insane amount of money because the primary audience can't distinguish between abominations and art...

Even abominations can be art in their own way.

NO , no , no and just NO...........No

i think bay plus any game baised around armys of any sort (gears of war, halo, call of duty) would be a good combo, 2 wrong's could make a right in that sence. terrible games like halo plus terrible directors like bay should go well together

I know how you hate mikle bay too but if he dose do the halo movie I will go in to a merereis rampage kill mikle bay, gorge bush & justen bever.

MovieBob:
A Nightmare on Elm Street

This week MovieBob reviews A Nightmare on Elm Street...if he can stay awake long enough.

For more from MovieBob, check out Intermission.

Be sure to join Escape to the Movies Facebook Fan Page here.

Watch Video

You know, ironically you made this one a must see for me. The reason being is that I kind of thought nobody could play Freddy except for Robert Englund, who made that character his own for many, many years. Even through things like the "Freddy's Nightmares" TV show and some of the weakest sequels, when he showed up playing that character it was a sort of dark magic that made me a fan of the series for many, many years... and gave me an odd appreciation of some of his other non-Freddy work. I'm one of the nerds who sat there and was drooling when Fear.net did a unique production called "Fear Clinic" (nothing to do with Freddy) which had Robert Englund and Kane Hodder (who played Jason) together running an Asylum. :P

At any rate if the new guy is decent, I'm wondering if perhaps the movie should be supported to some extent. I figure even with a stumble (they made some bad Batman movies...) the franchise can live again, perhaps with differant people at the helm, but if this guy is decent and can do something I would have thought impossible, you don't want him to get blamed for it which is inevitable. If there isn't support all the "magic critic bubbles" aside aren't going to help.

At any rate, good review. :)

Swarmcrow:

SomethingAmazing:

Sacman:
If he does a Halo movie it would be the same as his Transformers movies extremely over rated and poorly directed crum buckets that will make an insane amount of money because the primary audience can't distinguish between abominations and art...

Even abominations can be art in their own way.

NO , no , no and just NO...........No

Why not?

adderseal:

Hotshots:
great review Bob, but seriously another Halo Jibe?

Se non ti piace Halo, abbastanza giusto ma vaffanculo e mi piacerÓ!

Tip: Swearing at contributors is a bad idea, just because you're writing in Italian doesn't mean nobody can understand it...

I should have know better in all honesty...

OK I'm sorry, you win, I concede, I give up, I surrender, no more, have mercy, leave me alone.

If you'll pardon my French.

Spydiggity:
Bob, i respect your perspective, and generally i agree with you. god knows i think this movie looks like pure garbage. but, could you please stfu about halo and stop finding excuses to slam it in your MOVIE reviews.

halo has a great story that deviates, in a lot of ways, from other scifi stories. i realize it's about aliens and the end of humanity and whatever, but the gem in the story is the spartan II program. not only that, but halo is a video game. and a damn fine one at that. the most balanced shooter on consoles and all the other things fans say about it. so once more, please STFU about it. and, moreover, don't EVER give the suggestion to Michael Bay to turn it into a movie. cuz god knows he'll do it. and i don't need him ruining something that I love. he can have transformers. a story about giant robots from another planet that want the cube that gave them life in the first place? now that is fucking stupid. ironically...that's the alien story you actually do like. go figure....

This...

Bob wants to be an "Original" by saying that Halo is bad. We get that you don't like Halo Bob, we got it the first three times! Its really getting old Bob, old and fucking predicable.

im starting to have to take more salt with this guy than Yahtzee

wait wait wait wait, am I to understand that you actually like Nicolas Cage?

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