PAX 2010: Hands On Duke Nukem Forever

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You know what would be hilarious? If it just ends up being a sub par Source or UT3 mod. Or they're going to scrap the whole thing and make it in the CryEngine or something. But wait, the release date is "Next Year"? Hasn't is ALWAYS been "Next year" or "This Christmas? I remember a PC Gamer cover from the mid 90's that had Duke bursting through a wall of wrapping paper saying "Coming this Christmas".

Honestly, I can't bring myself to care about this.

There's no way in hell I'm gonna play this game.
I don't care if it's Gearbox, I couldn't care less.

Pfft dont belive the lies!
I'm refusing to get trolled again. IF it comes out I might read something about it. Till then...

Even tough it will probably be a generic fps, i hope they try to be more clever with the jokes.

There are joust a few things i really don't like about what we have seen. Stationary guns, vehicle sections, saying that they are turning DNF into a generic game make not make much sense since it is a very generic series but it has still always been fun and whacky (and a little sexy). Im afraid they wont keep that or at least fail horribly with the humor like with borderlands.

This game will probably suck but if it gets more than 6/10 i will probably get it joust to see how this 12 year train wreck ends.

I'm not sold, esp. since the fight with the Cycloid is pretty much copy/pasta from Duke Nukem 3D right down to the kicking the eyeball through the goal posts.
Not to mention the fact that I haven't been interested in Duke's brand of humour since I was a teenager which was 8-10 years ago.

Fantastic. Now to wait for gameplay vid uploads that don't suck.

This game hasn't really been in development for 12 years, it's been on hiatus for 12 years and in development for an afternoon.

Duke Nukem Forever has a specifically bound button on the 360 for drinking beer, if that isn't pure win i don't know what is.

8O

MUST PLAY!

Well, figuring I'm only fifteen, I guess I'm not so big on Duke, but it still sounds kind of cool.

There's gamers out there who are only a few years older than the development on this thing, that's scary.

It would be nice to think that some at 3D saw Yahtzee's 'review' and felt the burn of shame.

It's going to be even better when he gets hold of it, because that, like the sun coming up has to happen.

Always bet on DOUK

coming out next year. like they never said that before

This game did not need to be "saved", it needed to be forgotten. There are so many things this money and time could have been better spent on. Shame on everyone that buys this game and all of the developers. I really, really wish this whole damn thing just never happened.

No. it will be delayed at least twice more to eternity. I have no faith in anyone anymore. I have been lied to one too many times.

/sarcasm

Not gonna lie... this sounds incredibly annoying in many ways. I never was into the "SHOOT THEM BECAUSE IT'S MANLY" games, and I doubt this will make me fall for it.

omega_peaches:
I hope Yahtzee's review is right.

But then I'll never be able to get all the achievements!

Finally, it took twelve years, but it's FINALLY TIME TO KICK ASS AND CHEW BUBBLEGUM...and I still have a stick in my pocket. I hope it'll last till launch.

Really it's better that the game come out now than ever - we need that bit of good old fashioned, 90s fun to kick us out of our modern gaming pretensions.

Evil the White:
THE UNIVERSE IS IMPLODING ON ITSELF
RUN WHILE YOU CAN

Your avatar totally makes that statement more meaningful. It's freaking me out!

hail to the king baby

Yeeeah *masculine grunting* the DUUUKE is coming!
FIIIINALLLY! And it's going to be AWESOME (capital letters for more emphasis), because the DEVELOPER said so, they put in a self-ironic sentence and because, you know, like, it's THE DUUKKE! Oh god this is gonna be soo much FUN, because this is the first FPS the developer's advertise with it being F..gohohohoooood.

Can't even seriously pretend to be heated up about this.

Honestly, what am I supposed to be interested about here?

The Duke? Yeah, right, because anyone who's got enough brain matter to not get distracted by shiny things still gives a crap about this character.

Boobies? Erm...I'm still on the internet here, right? Is there really anyone left here who thinks a Duke-game will give him or her more, better or better looking full-frontal nudity than literally ANYTHING on the net you can get for free?

Gameplay? Yeeesss, right. Let's look at Susan's report.
-Brainless plot no one cares about until someone mentions "hot women"? Check.
-Some Aliens no one gives a crap about as opponents? Check.
-Some "stylistic" hooks to apply to the pseudo-masculine, grunting, wannabe-cool demographic (like cigars, gore, football, trucks, dick jokes, displayed urination and absolutele lack of any behaviour (because we likez sem rebels))? Check.
-Absolutely unimpressive and generic gameplay that the developer as well as the author of this article washes quickly over so no one notices the pure blandness of it? Check.

Oh and of course this:

What it is, is a surprisingly good time that doesn't take anything too seriously, especially itself.

Oh, it's "a good time". Well thanks, because now that I know that it's "a good time" I feel completely informed. I bet it's also "solid", "unique in its style" and "interesting". Why didn't you just say straightforward that there's nothing really to talk about this hype-pulled tross but because of the aforementioned aspects it has the same entertainment value of a flickering lightbulb?
Oh, let me do it for you: http://www.threepanelsoul.com/view.php?date=2008-03-24

I personally see it as an insult to believe that the gaming community can be treated like that. First letting us wait for more then ten years, always trying to keep us on our toes with some fake news and half-assed screenshots to now jump up and say "Hey, it's us dickheads again and this time we actually mean it, spend your money on us." That's right, 3D-Realms actively told the community over and over and over again that it's coming soon, even when the mostuninterested shlock could already predict where this project would be going. Where I come from, that's called lying. And even if the time and era of a blonde, brick-headed sexist who saves the world wouldn't already be over for a looong time, it's because of this behaviour from the developers' side that I couldn't care less about the Duke or whatever studio stands behind it.

Will it be a financial success IF it indeed should come out? Sadly I think it will. Because as soon as the funny masses can throw themself at something they think will make them look "cool" they probably will and I can't wait for the endless discussions about this game which will undoubtedly end in the pro-Duke faction either laughing retarded and trying to make an argument by claiming "But man, it's the DUUUUUKE!" or stating that "If I don't like it I don't have, like, to play it."

Yeah, thanks Captain Obvious and Lt. Voidargument. I think I'll roll with that.

Oh dear. I foresee disappointment and despair in Yahtzee's future.

"After 12 fucking years, it should be."

If it is a generic brown shooter then no.

I can't even imagine how absurdly awkward it would be to play that with those two girls watching.

Sigh, based of this article, we here in Australia will get a heavily censored version. So, yeah, who cares if it is released or not.

from a game developers perspective, this is pure genius! you can take an average game idea, slap on "duke nukem" and you have a hit already. people WILL buy this, not for the gameplay but for the pure silliness and nostalgia.

and maybe the game is good too? who knows :D

Starcraft II
Duke Nukem Forever
Portal 2
Where the fuck is episode 3???

Suskie:

Irridium:
Well there goes all the "never going to be released" jokes.

Ah well there's always Diablo 3. I'd go with Episode 3 like everyone else but 3 years of development time so far hardly justifies it.

But Episode Three ISN'T EVEN A COMPLETE GAME.

I just hope Episode 3 doesn't become the next Duke Nukem: Forever.

Also, paraphrasing Yahtzee here: "I just hope that 3d Realms understands that if this game doesn't turn out to be history's greatest contribution to human culture and the cure to at least one type of cancer, then I, and every other game reviewer on Earth are going to saw its bollocks off!"

EnigmaticSevens:
Tis official then, Yahtzee is truly Yog Yatze, the Elder God of Video Games, bow down and prostrate yourselves before the Hat that covers his billion minds. For on the first day, Yahtzee did review Duke Nukem Forever, and lo, the review was good. And on the second day, the supplicant masses did grovel before the review and laud it with praises, and lo, it was good. And on the third day, Duke Nukem Forever did come into existence, and lo, it was fucking awesome.

The signs are clear, ye faithful set before Yahtzee your wishlist of games that should not logically exist, and he will bless you, AND SUMMON THEM FROM THE DEPTHS.

What EnigmaticSevens said. The timing could not be better.

EnigmaticSevens:
Tis official then, Yahtzee is truly Yog Yatze, the Elder God of Video Games, bow down and prostrate yourselves before the Hat that covers his billion minds. For on the first day, Yahtzee did review Duke Nukem Forever, and lo, the review was good. And on the second day, the supplicant masses did grovel before the review and laud it with praises, and lo, it was good. And on the third day, Duke Nukem Forever did come into existence, and lo, it was fucking awesome.

The signs are clear, ye faithful set before Yahtzee your wishlist of games that should not logically exist, and he will bless you, AND SUMMON THEM FROM THE DEPTHS.

plus it just won that contest for ZP's review ;)

Sounds oldskool <3
So getting this.

NO!!!! THATS IMPOSSIBLE!!!! but still awesome

I can't help but wonder which of Yahtzee's powers of clairvoyance is more frightening:

The fact that he anticipated the release of this long-awaited game,

or the fact that he foresaw that the end result would be an utterly generic shooter peppered with juvenile, misogynistic humor.

But you give the people what they want, I guess. And people want Duke. He's like Master Chief only he has more one-liners and bangs strippers. That makes him a better character, right?

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