Critical Miss: The Cardinal's Corner

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Imperator_DK:
Hehe, at least there's a laugh to be had now from it, but at the time it sure was a bummer to find out that thousands upon thousands of African Catholics will still have to die to uphold Roman Catholic Church dogma in the face of reality.

I was even all positively surprised and everything.

It really is disgusting that the Pope would condemn thousands or millions of people to death just to uphold this ideal of abstinence. Considering that a significant portion of the spread of AIDS in Africa is through rape and from parent to child in birth, a condom probably won't do much good against either of them . . . but crying "I'm abstinent" to a rapist is going to be pointless, and if you've married someone who's gotten AIDS through a rape or from their mother then you seem to be SOL.

Roman Catholic here, saying: Anyone who obeys all parts of Catholic dogma is a moron. You should follow the basics, but when its about a personal issue, it should be your descision.

Fronzel:

zombie711:
I used to know an atheist, who would say "why doesnt the church allow condoms, its so stupid". I would reply why dont you just not have sex until your married? he replied, why would I do that? The conversation ended shortly after that. ( also Im not saying all athiest are like that, just that one person)

If you're trying to say he was being unreasonable, you've failed. "Why would I do that?" must represent reasons that he apparently didn't share. If you were interested in argument, you should have asked.

*whispers* They never are. If there was arguments and asking and all that hippie stuff, soon we'll be teaching teenagers about safe sex in health class instead of just saying "Don't do it." Slippery slope, man. You don't want to end up like Bristol Palin.

x434343:
Roman Catholic here, saying: Anyone who obeys all parts of Catholic dogma is a moron. You should follow the basics, but when its about a personal issue, it should be your descision.

We're still getting stories of people castrating albinos to make magic soup over there. At some point, I think the people who have high (perhaps I'd even call it "the ultimate") authority over so many people should take some voluntary responsibility for the lives of the people who hang on every word they say instead of just saying "Your choice. Not my problem. Btw, listen to me or HELL."
Or at least they could do the noble thing and keep their traps shut/not make irresponsible declarations that could possibly result in... is "genocide" the correct word here?

D Moness:
Laughed at the water carrying option(also the strangling someone with a condom>.<)

One other thing is it me or does the females in the comic getting bigger boobs?

Standard USAF wilderness kit has two condoms in it for carrying water.

But I believe the Pope did agree to the usage for married couples if one of them was infected to save the other. But then there wouldn't be a joke in there.

Oh religion, the internet's punching bag.

x434343:
Roman Catholic here, saying: Anyone who obeys all parts of Catholic dogma is a moron. You should follow the basics, but when its about a personal issue, it should be your descision.

True dat! Some people just never understand us eh?

Anyway this was hilarious and I agree with everyone on the terrorist one.

KEM10:

D Moness:
Laughed at the water carrying option(also the strangling someone with a condom>.<)

One other thing is it me or does the females in the comic getting bigger boobs?

Standard USAF wilderness kit has two condoms in it for carrying water.

But I believe the Pope did agree to the usage for married couples if one of them was infected to save the other. But then there wouldn't be a joke in there.

Oh religion, the internet's punching bag.

Still not unmarried couples, or for any other reason that might protect a person having the coitus. The joke is safe.

Condom as garrote wire is officially the funniest thing I have seen in this comic. Genius.

They should advertise condoms like this. Just think about it! You can strangle someone with a condom!

*Sneaks up on guard*

*Wraps condom around guard's neck*

SNAP

....

Shit

zombie711:
I used to know an atheist, who would say "why doesnt the church allow condoms, its so stupid". I would reply why dont you just not have sex until your married? he replied, why would I do that? The conversation ended shortly after that. ( also Im not saying all athiest are like that, just that one person)

Because every Catholic waits until marriage, right.

As the Red Hot Chili Peppers once said, Catholic school girls rule.

Also I'm confused by what you mean by "like that". Desiring of premarital sex? Say hi to 95% of people ages 16-30.

mr_rubino:

Fronzel:

zombie711:
I used to know an atheist, who would say "why doesnt the church allow condoms, its so stupid". I would reply why dont you just not have sex until your married? he replied, why would I do that? The conversation ended shortly after that. ( also Im not saying all athiest are like that, just that one person)

If you're trying to say he was being unreasonable, you've failed. "Why would I do that?" must represent reasons that he apparently didn't share. If you were interested in argument, you should have asked.

*whispers* They never are. If there was arguments and asking and all that hippie stuff, soon we'll be teaching teenagers about safe sex in health class instead of just saying "Don't do it." Slippery slope, man. You don't want to end up like Bristol Palin.

Maybe my school was just awesome, but we were taught about safe sex and the like, and also drugs, for an entire quarter. My school pretty much took the opinion that 'Fuck, man. They're probably going to do it anyways. Might as well show them how not to be a moron when doing it.'

OT: I laughed so hard and shared this with friends and they laughed, too.

Kids...

Just say nopes to popes.

Yeah, please don't do many comics based on religion or sex. Let's just keep them focused on games and internet culture. I get enough of this sort of thing all over the internet, don't need it here.

There is no God.

/thread.

Dont listen to the guy in a dress, listen to your conscience.

HankMan:
It is acceptable to use a condom to keep the fiz in your soda, but not in your relationships!

Zachary Amaranth:

Scarecrow 8:
This is why the pope really pisses me off.

But he's pro condom-garroting! That's one badass pope!

That's not how you kill someone with a condom. You wrap over their heads like a clear plastic bag. Extra experience points if it's a spermicide!

I think you mean terroristicide.

Zhukov:
That was hilarious.

Although I'm not sure what exactly it was reacting to.

(Gah! Grammer, I mourn your passing.)

And you spelled grammar wrong too ;)

OT: I am not really finding this comic's style funny anymore. Panel 1 is just basically introducing a list of items, and the rest of the panels are the items in that list. Maybe I am wrong but I was actually enjoying the comic originally and getting a few laughs. I think they should go back to Stout in the office and let us see more of her escapades rather than random jokes about news stories that haven't been relevant for ages.

Damn, you made me laugh! And it hurts, i got two teeth (one on each side) extracted yesterday:(

Yes.... because everytime i go skydiving i keep a condom in my pocket.

Call me crazy, but I don't think that any of those examples have anything to do with HIV.

The main reason for this is all political. The catholic church is nowhere near as unified as they like to seem. There is the Vatican, and then the Church in Ethiopia. The Ethiopians are hard line conservative and would follow their own base rules even if the Vatican issued the use of condoms as ok.

This is all about appearances and unification. If either group splits it will only lead disintegration and violence.

It ain't the first time that they've twisted words to get what they want. Just look at the Nicaean Council.

Right, and if God made us, why does it feel so good to rub our genitals against something?

I mean, if God made us an all...

Soon you're going to tell me that the awesome sensation is the work of the Devil or something.

Oh, wait.

HankMan:
It is acceptable to use a condom to keep the fiz in your soda, but not in your relationships!

Zachary Amaranth:

Scarecrow 8:
This is why the pope really pisses me off.

But he's pro condom-garroting! That's one badass pope!

That's not how you kill someone with a condom. You wrap over their heads like a clear plastic bag. Extra experience points if it's a spermicide!

A one-liner comes to mind (ahem):
-Let's see how you break out of THIS ONE!!

HankMan:

Zachary Amaranth:

HankMan:
It is acceptable to use a condom to keep the fiz in your soda, but not in your relationships!

That's not how you kill someone with a condom. You wrap over their heads like a clear plastic bag. Extra experience points if it's a spermicide!

Psssh. It'd likely tear. Garotting is safer, though nearly as ridiculous.

Psssh. What kind of condoms have you been using?

The kind that don't readily accept a human skull. :p

thethingthatlurks:

Zachary Amaranth:

Scarecrow 8:
This is why the pope really pisses me off.

But he's pro condom-garroting! That's one badass pope!

He's pro-life, except for when it doesn't involve the unborn, which are hardly considered alive. He also has no problem murderin' people, but GOD help him if he considers a viable option to lessen the threat of overpopulation. Hmm...the Catholics sure are sociopaths, aren't they?

No, it's because the condoms work to prevent the consequences of committing sin. If you are willing to have sex outside of marriage, you should also be willing to live with the consequences of pregnancy and VD's. By wearing condoms, you are evading God's punishments for sin.

No, it doesn't make sense. But there you go.

Edited for spelling fail.

zombie711:
I used to know an atheist, who would say "why doesnt the church allow condoms, its so stupid". I would reply why dont you just not have sex until your married? he replied, why would I do that? The conversation ended shortly after that. ( also Im not saying all athiest are like that, just that one person)

That athiest had a point. Clearly he didn't research why the church wouldn't use condoms, by why restrict your sexuality to the point you have to get a piece of peper signed to feel good about sex?

cke:

HankMan:
It is acceptable to use a condom to keep the fiz in your soda, but not in your relationships!

Zachary Amaranth:

But he's pro condom-garroting! That's one badass pope!

That's not how you kill someone with a condom. You wrap over their heads like a clear plastic bag. Extra experience points if it's a spermicide!

A one-liner comes to mind (ahem):
-Let's see how you break out of THIS ONE!!

-Oops wrong head!
Or
-You're a real dick, you know that?

Hithlain:

InterAirplay:

zombie711:
I used to know an atheist, who would say "why doesnt the church allow condoms, its so stupid". I would reply why dont you just not have sex until your married? he replied, why would I do that? The conversation ended shortly after that. ( also Im not saying all athiest are like that, just that one person)

I think most people are like that. Why wouldn't anyone do that?

For me, it's like when you go to college and in their orientation meetings they say "Alcohol is completely forbidden for people under the age of 21, which you are. Therefore you cannot drink. However if you WERE to drink, here are some safety tips".

I mean, no one is being fooled that underage people in college don't drink. I'd rather there be some safety training for them though than just throwing them out there and hoping they don't die from alcohol poisoning. Not everyone in college drinks, but those who do made that choice and they need to know how to be safe.

It's the same with sex. Some people make that choice for various reasons and I'm not saying that it's good or bad either way but I would rather they have something available to them where they would not get pregnant or spread disease than them just wander off willy-nilly. You know?

yeah, btw, did I accidentally say I was in favour of abstinence until marriage in the post?

And as a sidenote, what's with all these people on the Escapist who have never had sex yet seem to deride it as some sort of useless, horrible, disease-spreading life-ruining activity only participated in by drunken rutting idiots? I'm seeing a rise in them recently, and it's a little bit worrying.

Mannayz:
Right, and if God made us, why does it feel so good to rub our genitals against something?

I mean, if God made us an all...

Soon you're going to tell me that the awesome sensation is the work of the Devil or something.

Oh, wait.

Haven't you got the memo? god is fucking with us. If you believe in fossils, massive amounts of scientific data constantly peer-reviewed and fact-checked to ensure accuracy, logical thinking, scepticism of beliefs that go against all of reason and yet are picked up because they're in a really old books, and generally using your god-given free will to ultimately decide that it's all a load of BS because of the huge amounts of evidence that he put on earth, then you're going to hell! ahahahaha, he was just testing you, you fool! our benevolent lord just loves trolling us, that's all. 2+2=4? all a lie.

You have failed me cardinal! You were supposed to spin my misspoken words into a positive but have only succeeded in making a few nerds laugh. Now feel the might of the Dar- I mean...

Gods Wrath!
image

zombie711:
I used to know an atheist, who would say "why doesnt the church allow condoms, its so stupid". I would reply why dont you just not have sex until your married? he replied, why would I do that? The conversation ended shortly after that. ( also Im not saying all athiest are like that, just that one person)

why should I have to wait for religion to tell me its ok? I mean "why would I do that?" I dont even believe in god why would I need a "god" given religious ritual for myself and my gf to know we are ready?.

it our choice not the invisible magic guy in the sky's choice.

why should I swear under a god I dont believe in to make it the right time.

"why would I do that?" dont insult me

I dont mean to sound spitefull really it just bothers me that I need a piece of paper for this if I care I care thats it end of story not good enough for you/them? tough.

dont get me started on being baptised.

(I sound so hatefull T_T Im just bitter honest nothing personal)

If your going to fornicate you may as well use a condom. That's the part the church needs to work on to help save lives. However, there is nothing wrong with waiting to have sex until your married. In fact I believe it's actually better for a relationship. However, if you are going to have sex outside of marriage then seriously, use a condom. That's the part those Africans need to get down as well =P

If this wasn't a weekly comic published on the Escapist, I'd almost swear Grey was trolling for arguments from people. As another poster kindly pointed out, please try to avoid troll-fest arguments over religion and stick to the many great topics in the electronic medium.

Let make this clear...No one LIKES that pope.

I don't like him
My teacher dosen't like him.
Hell, my Priest dosen't care what he says.

Simply put, that guy is Nucking futs.

InterAirplay:

Hithlain:

InterAirplay:

I think most people are like that. Why wouldn't anyone do that?

For me, it's like when you go to college and in their orientation meetings they say "Alcohol is completely forbidden for people under the age of 21, which you are. Therefore you cannot drink. However if you WERE to drink, here are some safety tips".

I mean, no one is being fooled that underage people in college don't drink. I'd rather there be some safety training for them though than just throwing them out there and hoping they don't die from alcohol poisoning. Not everyone in college drinks, but those who do made that choice and they need to know how to be safe.

It's the same with sex. Some people make that choice for various reasons and I'm not saying that it's good or bad either way but I would rather they have something available to them where they would not get pregnant or spread disease than them just wander off willy-nilly. You know?

yeah, btw, did I accidentally say I was in favour of abstinence until marriage in the post?

And as a sidenote, what's with all these people on the Escapist who have never had sex yet seem to deride it as some sort of useless, horrible, disease-spreading life-ruining activity only participated in by drunken rutting idiots? I'm seeing a rise in them recently, and it's a little bit worrying.

Haha, no I wasn't speaking of you I was speaking in generalities.

And it's probably due to 16 and Pregnant. Have you seen that show? It makes my ovaries shrivel up every time I see it. Honestly, they attribute some of the low teen birth rate to that show and I don't doubt it. *shiver*

Danik93:

Latinidiot:

zombie711:
I used to know an atheist, who would say "why doesnt the church allow condoms, its so stupid". I would reply why dont you just not have sex until your married? he replied, why would I do that? The conversation ended shortly after that. ( also Im not saying all athiest are like that, just that one person)

because you might want to have sex without spending your life with that person, or having to share all your money with them?

Yea and what if you find out that the person you want to marry is terrible I mean TERRIBLE in bed... that would suck!

One can easily improve on their sexual abilities if they want to. Much like any other learned skill.

This whole thing just makes me sad. The Pope is, for a lot of people, the last word on God's will. He should be someone that all Christians can hold up as an example of good Christian morals. We should not have to apologize for his ignorance,and people most definitely should not be dying because his poor interpretation of scripture. I can't claim to know what God wants, but I know it is not this.

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