Escape to the Movies: Robocop

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Tim Chuma:
I will not be able to link to it, but there is a fan remake of the original Robocop with even more violence. Also what the Iron Sheik said about Robocop.

Instead of a mere 1 guy getting shot in the dick, it has 20 guys being shot in the dick.

Tell us how you really feel Bob.

It's a trend that's been going on for awhile and won't stop anytime soon.

Pick a title/subject that invokes a feeling of positive nostalgia. Make a movie that panders to the most common denominator. Tick as many of the "must have" boxes as you can. Market the sht out of it while only showing the more engrossing scenes. Make a killing on opening week till enough people find out it sucks. Explain to the board that it was done following the "tried and true" formula and shouldn't of failed. Receive the funding for your next project.
Rinse and repeat.

Well, this wasn't surprising at all.

Your Touched by an Angel comment made me laugh out loud.

I suppose the whole Robocop in Iraq ect ect is meant to be imagery for the "U.S polices the world" saying or something

captcha - mumbo jumbo. Indeed.

rcs619:

The way the US currently uses drones (distant assassins who kill legitimate targets and innocent civilians with complete impunity, and often without even knowing who they are actually shooting at or whether or not they are actually legitimate targets) is bad. It is both morally reprehensible and a complete diplomatic clusterfuck.

Did I miss something? Last I heard there were no drones deployed with the capability to kill anyone without a human deciding they can. It is an excellent way to use drones. Any civillian deaths are a result of reckless or stupid operators, not drones.

Whilst I wouldn't say I would get depressed with the absence of childish gore, if it's just a forgettable genric flick then it's not worth seeing. I've seen a few reviews where they've basically said this isn't as bad as it could've been, but just to hear that Micheal Keaton has been made cartoonishly evil is disappoionting.

Soviet Heavy:
About the only thing noticeable in this film seems to be that the art department ripped off the Mass Effect Blood Dragon armor and spliced it with the robots from the Total Recall remake. And those robots were a ripoff of Bioware's Sith Troopers from KOTOR.

Funny you should mention Mass Effect as having had to watch this Robocop movie again (Stupid movie club democracy). Iam even more convinced the Director and production team could make the Perfect Mass Effect movie as they excel at removing any sort of soul from the Source material. much as the mass Efect team removed all the soul from KOTOR 3 to create Mass Effect.

Annnnnd it's #1 at the box office in France.

How the mighty have fallen...

A reboot is bland, forgettable and boring? What a shock.

ExileNZ:
Annnnnd it's #1 at the box office in France.

How the mighty have fallen...

Not all that much reason to go to the movies. If you're there already, this reboot might be somewhat interesting for people in film school as a lesson in how not to do it.

I wonder how many more generic PG13 action flicks it's going to take before Hollywood has a huge crash and people demand to start seeing something different once again.

Oh wait, I just remembered 10 year olds don't give a fuck and are just happy to see any kind of action if it means dragging their parents along to the cinema and adding to the big fat pile of money that PG13 represents to Hollywood.

"Hey, let's remake Robocop."
"Okay, shall we keep the same dark and violent tone but throw in a lot of tongue and cheek bits because we understand how ridiculous the premise is?"
"Hell no. We need to reach a larger audience so no violence. Matter of fact, no gun violence against people. Also, why the fuck would we not take ourselves seriously? We are super cereal professional filmmakers and we shall approach our tale of a beat cop who gets blown up and turned into a robot policeman who takes down an evil corporation with all the seriousness such a story deserves. After all, how can we show the public how far up our own asses we are if we don't serve this to them straight?"

Now, bear in mind I wasn't actually there but I figure it went like that.

MeChaNiZ3D:

rcs619:

The way the US currently uses drones (distant assassins who kill legitimate targets and innocent civilians with complete impunity, and often without even knowing who they are actually shooting at or whether or not they are actually legitimate targets) is bad. It is both morally reprehensible and a complete diplomatic clusterfuck.

Did I miss something? Last I heard there were no drones deployed with the capability to kill anyone without a human deciding they can. It is an excellent way to use drones. Any civillian deaths are a result of reckless or stupid operators, not drones.

I'm pretty sure his they refers to the drone operators, not the drones themselves. Also, don't for a second believe that those controlling the drones are the ones who make the call on whether to fire or not.

And movies like the latest Robocop, folks, are why I haven't gone to a theater in ten years.

Who in their right mind would pay $15 to see mindless, lowest-common-denominator drek like this?

Wouldn't it be lovely if we could have a futuristic sci-fi movie that doesn't have to show how horrible the big, bad, American corporations are and how wonderful the common man is? Seriously, "Occupy Wall Street" went out of style a long time ago. Stop trying to fill our movies with that junk.

It's just like Elysium, and that breaks my heart. Elysium was such an awesome action movie . . . except for the message that the little people are better internally than the rich people (who the Hell came up with that idea in the first place?). I laughed at the ending of that movie because people were flocking to the medical ships and *were not stealing anything or trying to kill each other to be first!* (If you doubt me, read the newspapers around Black Friday) That shows how fake it was right there. And this new Robocop is doing exactly the same thing.

Such an awesome potential killed because "it's trying to prove a point".

To the movie directors of Hollywood: Knock it off!

Mind2Matter:
It's just like Elysium, and that breaks my heart. Elysium was such an awesome action movie . . . except for the message that the little people are better internally than the rich people (who the Hell came up with that idea in the first place?).

You must not have been paying much attention to Elysium, because the majority of the prominent personalities in that movie were bad people, including Carlyle (rich person), Delacourt (rich person), and all the gang members (little people) who manipulated their own for monetary gain and helped Spider (little person) and Max (little person) pull of the Armadyne heist. Do I even need to point out that Matt Damon's character was an ex-criminal, or did that somehow slip by you too?

The reason the earthers didn't have access to Elysium wasn't because they were "better internally", it was because they were being policed by and subjugated as a labor force for the people with status who lived off-planet. Many of the little people in Elysium were -- simply put -- greedy, self-centered assholes until they fully realized the complexity of what they were fighting for.

I laughed at the ending of that movie because people were flocking to the medical ships and *were not stealing anything or trying to kill each other to be first!* (If you doubt me, read the newspapers around Black Friday) That shows how fake it was right there.

So I guess only poor people have the capacity to steal and murder? Your outlook on class is pretty fucking shallow. No wonder you saw the movie in that light.

Mind2Matter:
Wouldn't it be lovely if we could have a futuristic sci-fi movie that doesn't have to show how horrible the big, bad, American corporations are and how wonderful the common man is? Seriously, "Occupy Wall Street" went out of style a long time ago. Stop trying to fill our movies with that junk.

It's just like Elysium, and that breaks my heart. Elysium was such an awesome action movie . . . except for the message that the little people are better internally than the rich people (who the Hell came up with that idea in the first place?). I laughed at the ending of that movie because people were flocking to the medical ships and *were not stealing anything or trying to kill each other to be first!* (If you doubt me, read the newspapers around Black Friday) That shows how fake it was right there. And this new Robocop is doing exactly the same thing.

Such an awesome potential killed because "it's trying to prove a point".

To the movie directors of Hollywood: Knock it off!

If you making your money right, then these themes shouldn't bother you. For every philanthropic ultra rich person it don't excuse the piles of cynical scum that just lobby and bribe to run shit. Some of them never built a thing in their lives. and complain 'oh its the minorities that are the problem.'

Doesn't matter how hypocritical hollywood is. If they suddenly switch modes paint avg to poor people as humanity's problem, they don't have an audience.

Oh well. In light of this review I'll skip this movie. PG-13, HA!!

Think I'll just rent the original Robocop for a dollar.
And then go see the Lego movie.

I'm actually a little startled how easily "suicide bombers in the desert" have become the new default threat that requires no explanation or anything.
I mean at least "Russians" or "Nazis" are always after some artifact, world domination or something. But apparently "middle-eastern" is an explanation now.

Remake of beloved 80's iconic film isn't good? The surprise is deafening. Next someone will try and tell us that the sequels of said films weren't very good either...

Awwwww, but you normally LOVE movies heavy-handedly overloaded with a liberal agenda, Bob! I guess this movie must REALLY be just god-awful if even you have nothing positive to say about it. I mean hell, you absolutely loved that movie that made all conservatives out to be a coalition of hate-groups hell bent on attacking the white house to assassinate Not Obama! What does that over-the-top nonsense have that Robocop doesn't? :P

Well, I guess that one wasn't a completely bastardized remake of an 80's classic, so fair enough. :3

SnakeoilSage:

Machine Man 1992:
Well, they say that Carbon Nanotubes could be used in the construction of artificial muscles. Raiden from MGR is built almost entirely out of the stuff, and he's a fucking ninja. A ninja who can judo-flip a city block sized robot spider, on foot.

You just cited a Japanese video game with so much anime power fantasy ejaculated on it that Goku will one day be born from the congealing ooze, as your source for why it's possible for robots to move like Spider-Man.

Nevermind that the Metal Gear series has always used huge assumptions in science fiction to form the pretend basis for its magical ninjas, but I think I'm going to need a demonstration of a human-sized CNT robot doing the stuff Rebootcop can do before I even begin to pretend to imagine CNT's can do the stuff Raiden (and all anime characters remotely dealing with the martial arts) can do.

First off, I wasn't really serious.

Second, given how Robocop takes place in the goddamned future, I don't see how having a mechanical man move like a normal (albeit extremely agile) human being a such a huge deal.

LoneEagle013:
Snip

People, please read what LoneEagle said here. To sum it up, the reboot is dealing with different MODERN issues, some of which have changed and some of which haven't, corporate corruption and moneygrubbing business tactics being some that are still with us.

For me though, I liked this better than the original. The original Robocop was a corny, preachy action flick with a pretty much invincible protagonist that they had to have the plot weaken just to have anything resembling actual dramatic tension that would no doubt be critically panned if it was released now instead of 30 years ago. The reboot is far less preachy, has much better flow of the action inbetween. Let's face it, we're watching a movie about a cyborg police officer to see him shoot things and blow crap up, not to hear him whine about being turned into a cyborg instead of being dead or a quadriplegic, especially since what he is is something most people, especially the disabled would kill to be. One thing I see so many people complaining about is how the original Robocop was slow and and could take everything that was thrown at him like it was nothing, that's not a plus. The Robocop in this movie is also powerful but not invincible, he gets damaged pretty badly repeatedly throughout the movie, he goes up against enemies that could actually hurt him unlike in the original, so he has to use strategy and tactics to win, that's a point in his FAVOR, not the other way around. Also, the only reason Robocop was so slow in the original was because of the technical limitations at the time, both on the film making front and the robotics tech at the time. They probably would have made the original Robocop just as fast and agile then as they did in the reboot if that wasn't the case.

As for Bob's critique, it's apparent to me that yet again Bob walked into the movie expecting to hate it and walked out hating it, he did the same thing with Amazing Spider-Man, Man of Steel, and probably a few others I'm forgetting. Any of them, or all of them, could have been the best movies that have ever been made and ever will be made (truth be told, that's not all that far from the truth) and he still would have walked out hating them with a passion.

One last thing, your questions Bob. Why were there robots stopping around Iran? Why were the suicide bombers blowing themselves up? Why does just about the entire world have these robots except for the U.S.?

I have to bold this to help make what should be blindingly obvious already but apparently isn't even more so, because so many people reviewing whatever do this:

IT DOESN'T MATTER AT ALL!!!

It doesn't have any relevance to the movie whatsoever, it's just a set piece, nothing more. So many people reviewing like to take something insignificant in a fiction and act like it's some big important detail that the writers failed to give context when it's not. They could have literally put that part of the movie in any part of the world and it wouldn't have made a difference, it's just there to set up the basic premise. We don't need to know every little detail of the fictional universe, and the fiction would be worse off if we did. Some things just aren't significant enough to the plot require explanation, and if that's really needed, well, the sequels can just handle it.

If this reboot is setting the bar as low as it can get, the good movies of 2014 must be absolute masterpieces.

Machine Man 1992:
First off, I wasn't really serious.

Second, given how Robocop takes place in the goddamned future, I don't see how having a mechanical man move like a normal (albeit extremely agile) human being a such a huge deal.

Because, missing the entire point of my original post, I WANT heavy, clunky robots. They evoke the mental image of big intimidating machines armed with crushing military firepower, ala the Battletech "walking tank" mechs. What kind of heavy-metal fun am I supposed to get from robots that are light on their feet like a ballerina in a mechanized body-stocking?!

SnakeoilSage:

Machine Man 1992:
First off, I wasn't really serious.

Second, given how Robocop takes place in the goddamned future, I don't see how having a mechanical man move like a normal (albeit extremely agile) human being a such a huge deal.

Because, missing the entire point of my original post, I WANT heavy, clunky robots. They evoke the mental image of big intimidating machines armed with crushing military firepower, ala the Battletech "walking tank" mechs. What kind of heavy-metal fun am I supposed to get from robots that are light on their feet like a ballerina in a mechanized body-stocking?!

Why not spilt the difference? Have the mechs be really fast and nimble, but show how heavy these things are. Have the ground splinter and crack as he runs, have him tear through brick walls like they're so much styrofoam. You can, in fact, have it both ways.

Piorn:
I'm actually a little startled how easily "suicide bombers in the desert" have become the new default threat that requires no explanation or anything.
I mean at least "Russians" or "Nazis" are always after some artifact, world domination or something. But apparently "middle-eastern" is an explanation now.

Well, Russians and Germans aren't brown so liberals can't play the race card. ;P

Machine Man 1992:
Why not spilt the difference? Have the mechs be really fast and nimble, but show how heavy these things are. Have the ground splinter and crack as he runs, have him tear through brick walls like they're so much styrofoam. You can, in fact, have it both ways.

When they get around to remembering the basic physics of how heavy things work I'll be willing to keep my mouth shut but until then I'm watching a fridge with legs doing parkour and it's breaking my childlike sense of wonderment.

Why yes, Bob, real police carry stun guns, and I'm sure anyone who's felt the business end of one would equate it to a playful splash of a water pistol. Rubber bullets? Snowballs.

Seriously, the guy is practically invincible. You expect him to justify deadly force every time?

SnakeoilSage:

Machine Man 1992:
Why not spilt the difference? Have the mechs be really fast and nimble, but show how heavy these things are. Have the ground splinter and crack as he runs, have him tear through brick walls like they're so much styrofoam. You can, in fact, have it both ways.

When they get around to remembering the basic physics of how heavy things work I'll be willing to keep my mouth shut but until then I'm watching a fridge with legs doing parkour and it's breaking my childlike sense of wonderment.

I still don't get how this is a problem. Robo-parkour sounds badass.

immortalfrieza:

LoneEagle013:
Snip

People, please read what LoneEagle said here. To sum it up, the reboot is dealing with different MODERN issues, some of which have changed and some of which haven't, corporate corruption and moneygrubbing business tactics being some that are still with us.

Ummm? Have you taken a look at Detroit lately? I think the key modern issue is that what was prophesied in the original work of "science fiction" as a somewhat dystopian future is now disturbingly close to reality.

i'm kinda dissapointed bob. it seems like you decided to hate this movie before it even came out. your a better film critic than that

bottom line: quit making remakes.

faefrost:

Ummm? Have you taken a look at Detroit lately? I think the key modern issue is that what was prophesied in the original work of "science fiction" as a somewhat dystopian future is now disturbingly close to reality.

Yes, and? That doesn't have any relevance whatsoever to anything I or LoneEagle posted. For the record, those very things are satirized in the reboot.

Endocrom:

Seriously, the guy is practically invincible. You expect him to justify deadly force every time?

In the original, the level of crime in old Detroit was absurdly high; cops were dying the with same regularity as soldiers in a war zone. They were going up against heavily armed gangs. ED-209 was being pushed as an Urban Pacification Unit; crime was so fucking terrible that they were going to use a robot with enough fire power to decimate a platoon with armour support, to chase bank robbers. In a situation like that, yeah, Robocop was a deadly (or at least overwhelming) force response because he needed to be.

You know, if one tilts their head just so, the original Robocop can be seen as in the same universe as Dredd; Robocop's brand of justice would fit will within Mega City One.....fuck that's a crossover I'd watch the shit out of: Robocop being Judge Dredd's partner in Mega City One.

I kinda think the Old Robocop is SUPER overrated, but whatever, to each their own.

The new one? I thoroughly enjoyed it. Not an amazing classic, but it was alright and fun time with some friends.

LoneEagle013:
THE CRITICS ARE WRONG: WHY THE NEW ROBOCOP DESERVES BETTER TREATMENT
(SPOILERS WARNING)
snip

This is an excellent post.

immortalfrieza:

As for Bob's critique, it's apparent to me that yet again Bob walked into the movie expecting to hate it and walked out hating it, he did the same thing with Amazing Spider-Man, Man of Steel, and probably a few others I'm forgetting. Any of them, or all of them, could have been the best movies that have ever been made and ever will be made (truth be told, that's not all that far from the truth) and he still would have walked out hating them with a passion.

Game over, we have a winner here. The real question now is, will this be the new Expendables/Amazing Spider Man that Bob will refuse to move on from for months?

One last thing, your questions Bob. Why were there robots stopping around Iran? Why were the suicide bombers blowing themselves up? Why does just about the entire world have these robots except for the U.S.?

I have to bold this to help make what should be blindingly obvious already but apparently isn't even more so, because so many people reviewing whatever do this:

IT DOESN'T MATTER AT ALL!!!

It doesn't have any relevance to the movie whatsoever, it's just a set piece, nothing more. So many people reviewing like to take something insignificant in a fiction and act like it's some big important detail that the writers failed to give context when it's not. They could have literally put that part of the movie in any part of the world and it wouldn't have made a difference, it's just there to set up the basic premise. We don't need to know every little detail of the fictional universe, and the fiction would be worse off if we did. Some things just aren't significant enough to the plot require explanation, and if that's really needed, well, the sequels can just handle it.

If this reboot is setting the bar as low as it can get, the good movies of 2014 must be absolute masterpieces.

Again agreed, the film isn't about the geo-political state of the fake future, it's about Murphy. The information about the wider world is only needed to establish that the robots exist, are efficient, and that Omni wants to sell them in the US, Robocop being their way of achieving this. This point makes me chuckle as I was reminded of an article from Bob last year, where is had a go at CinemaSins for being overly critical and nitpicky (while failing to grasp that they are taking the piss), and yet will hold up the same level of nitpick as legitimate points when he wants to make them.

They should put more smarts and more gore into Robocop 4

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