Conan O’Brien Enjoys Killing Nuns in Hitman: Absolution


Naked women and destructive nuns keep the Clueless Gamer interested in Hitman: Absolution.

Conan O’Brien’s “Clueless Gamer” segment returned this week, and once again the talk show host and avid non-gamer got a chance to play one of the most anticipated games of the year: Hitman: Absolution. According to Conan, publisher Square Enix asked him to rate the next game in the stealth-shooter series, which was “a mistake for them, and a waste of time for me.” While “web guy” Aaron is clearly excited to be playing Absolution, which hasn’t been released yet, Conan lays down the law, stating, “I will decide if it’s awesome.”

As usual, Conan begins by stating his disinterest in video games, but a few things about Hitman interest him, particularly the naked lady in the shower seen in the opening menu and nailing headshots once the game starts. His stealth skills leave something to be desired, and he’s unsure of how to remain undetected when “I have a barcode on the back of my bald head!” His excitement picks up during the infamous “Attack of the Saints” mission, and when the demo is done he declares that Hitman: Absolution may just be his favorite “Clueless Gamer” review game yet.

It’s interesting to see how Conan, a non-gamer, reacts to gameplay mechanics we’re so used to that we don’t give them a second thought: enemies looking around slowly after being shot, being asked to stay inconspicuous when you have a really obvious defining characteristic, and how someone can drag and carry so many dead bodies around without developing lower back problems. Conan rates Hitman: Absolution “aquamarine” on his review scale of nonsense, so be sure to take that into consideration if you’re thinking about picking it up next week.

Source: Team Coco

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