Video SeriesZero Punctuation

Elden Ring – Zero Punctuation


This week in Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Elden Ring.

Yahtz has reviewed some other major games lately too, so be sure to give titles like Pokémon Legends: ArceusDying Light 2, and Five Nights at Freddy’s: Security Breach a watch as well.

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I’ve had a lot of trouble with Elden Ring, but my doctor tells me it’s perfectly natural for my age and I should add more fibre to my diet. Very droll, Yahtz, now tell us if this fucking game’s any good so I can decide if I’m taking this gun out of my mouth. Um. Well. Yes, it’s a From Software Soulsy game, and therefore good. And characteristically light on overt storytelling, but this time I told myself I was gonna really concentrate on parsing the dialogue and item descriptions and figure this shit out up front. A little later that vow kinda fell by the wayside because chiefly what I remembered of the prior two hours was getting mashed into farmhouse chutney by a dude that looked like an owl pellet got rogered by a semi truck. Turns out Elden Ring’s hard. Is it Yahtz? Well, hold on while I run cold water over the blisters that searing insight gave me. Look, I’ve been getting run over by the Souls train for years. I’m a fucking vet. And I swear ever since we all figured out the “roll behind them when they attack and stab them in the bum” cheat code From Software have been upping the bullshit difficulty with every new game. Seems like a lot of the early bosses fall back on what my schoolyard chums used to very inappropriately call “spazzing the fuck out”, and whale on you too fast for you to react or keep your guard up.

About the author

Yahtzee Croshaw
Yahtzee is the Escapist’s longest standing talent, having been writing and producing its award winning flagship series, Zero Punctuation, since 2007. Before that he had a smattering of writing credits on various sites and print magazines, and has almost two decades of experience in game journalism as well as a lifelong interest in video games as an artistic medium, especially narrative-focused. He also has a foot in solo game development - he was a big figure in the indie adventure game scene in the early 2000s - and writes novels. He has six novels published at time of writing with a seventh on the way, all in the genres of comedic sci-fi and urban fantasy. He was born in the UK, emigrated to Australia in 2003, and emigrated again to California in 2016, where he lives with his wife and daughters. His hobbies include walking the dog and emigrating to places.