This week in Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Horizon Forbidden West.
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Let’s face it, Sony, you and I haven’t been seeing eye to eye lately. You refused to give us a Ratchet and Clank review code, I called you out on the video, you didn’t send us a Horizon Forbidden West code before launch day, I came over and pissed through your cat flap, but I want you to know that I believe maintaining my journalistic integrity is more important than keeping up a petty one-sided feud. I say that to disabuse any notion of bias being attached to the following statement: I hate Horizon: Forbidden West and I hate you. Bit confusing, actually. Horizon Forbidden West doesn’t feel that much different to the first one and I don’t remember getting a hate boner for that. Truth be told, I don’t remember very much about it at all. I went back and watched my review of it for a refresher and my past self was actually vaguely positive. Certainly no mention of the main character being a total fucking charisma vacuum who only ever talks in a breathy monotone constantly… pausing like she’s trying to… work out a… kidney stone making her voice performance the aural equivalent of Chinese water torture. Maybe it’s my ever solidifying antipathy towards the standard Jiminy Cockthroat model for triple-A open world games. Maybe Elden Ring spoiled me. Maybe I’m just in a bad mood from the way a cat flap recently snapped shut on my bellend.