Math Has Proven Vin Diesel Makes Hit Movies When He Wears Right Number of Sleeveless Shirts

There are few actors in cinema history who detest shirts with sleeves on them more than Vin Diesel. The man has made a career and one of the most successful film franchises ever out of showing off his guns in tank tops, ripped T-shirts, and vests, so it might not come as a surprise to anyone that the more arm Diesel shows, the more successful his film will be. This fact has now been scientifically proven by Reddit user “LundgrensFrontKick” who systematically went through every Vin Diesel movie, logged how many times he was wearing a shirt without sleeves, and timed for how long “The Diesels” (as I assume Vin Diesel refers to his biceps) were on screen.

In what is 100% causation and in no way an example of correlation, if Vin Diesel wears 3-4 sleeveless shirts in a film, the movie is pretty much guaranteed to make a lot of money. It also helps if one of the shirts is black and the other is a button-up gray shirt. Again, this is very clearly causation and not correlation. Science facts. Not only that, but his mythical arms actually influence us jaded and miserly film critics, instantly boosting the critical scores of any film in which 3-4 sleeveless shirts are worn. Now, Diesel can’t go sleeveless crazy like some sort of madman whose arms burn if they touch the shirt fabric. No, if he goes too far and wears more than 4 sleeveless shirts or wears sleeveless shirts for more than 15% of the film, than the box office and critical scores start to tumble. There is danger in flying too close to the sleeveless sun, Vin Diesel.

So, what can we learn from this? Well, judging from the trailer of Fast X, Diesel may have another critically enjoyed box office smash on his hands. In the trailer he not only wears three different sleeveless shirts, but one of them is black and one of them is a gray button-up. Now, it does appear that he’ll be wearing these sleeveless shirts for extended periods, as they seem to be present in multiple action sequences, which are notoriously long in Fast and Furious films. That could mean that he pushes past the coveted 15% mark here, and the film starts getting shunned by critics and audiences turn away from his glorious biceps because of over-saturation.