Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise is here to remind us all that size isn’t everything.

I liked the last Star Trek movie – the first “new” Star Trek movie, I suppose – and I’m sure I’ll enjoy this one too. But because I’m old and cranky, I feel obligated to complain about this latest, loudest trailer for Star Trek Into Darkness, packed as it is with overwrought music, cliched dialog clips and, naturally, enough explosive energy to push the Earth out of its orbit. All well and good for a summer blockbuster, I suppose, but… what’s going on?

As near as I can figure, Shakespeare Broodybrows is mad because Captain Kirk pulled in more money than he did at the last Starfleet Cheesecake for Charity event, so he traveled to the Mirror Universe and borrowed the keys to the Enterprise D, and then, I don’t know, cue some explosions and existential angst, I guess. Hey, where’s Chekov?

My biggest complaint about the rebooted Star Trek franchise isn’t actually all the mindless pyrotechnics, it’s that the focus of the whole thing is on the guy who’s easily the least interesting one of the bunch. I can’t say I’m a huge fan of how they’ve turned Spock into nothing more than a really stoic human either, but the real problem is Kirk: a generic bad-boy with a good looks, a good heart and about as much personality as his chair.

Harsh? Perhaps. And let’s be honest about it – as sound and fury goes, this is a pretty groovy trailer. Star Trek Into Darkness hits theaters in North America on May 17.

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