Because you demanded it, Zombie Cow has released the debut gameplay trailer for Privates, the new, anatomically-incorrect action game that lets players boldly go where everyone has gone before.
Okay, maybe you didn’t actually demand it but the fact that you clicked proves that you’re at least a little bit interested. Let me break it down for those who haven’t been paying attention, and also because it amuses me: Privates is an upcoming side-scrolling action game in which players don condom helmets and run around inside the grotty vaginas of teenage British tramps to battle the evil forces of disease and infection.
You think I’m making this up, don’t you? But Privates is a real, live “platform twin-stick shooter” that will feature five levels of 3D-rendered action, a “fully-voiced comedy script and a nutso soundtrack.” And now you can finally get a look at the real thing in all its awesomely tasteless glory. “Oh, hey! Look!” one character says to his comrades as the trailer opens. “A massive vagina!” And it’s all uphill from there, kids.
I was ready to dismiss Privates as just another stupid, crappy Flash-type game when I first read about it but this trailer makes it look like it might actually be pretty funny, and maybe even a decent game, too. Then again, I think giant signs that say “Welcome to the Anus” are uproarious, so take it for what it’s worth. Privates is slated to come out later this year for the PC and, if it can get past the content restrictions on Xbox Live Arcade, the Xbox 360.