You don’t have to be a TV star to embody Obi-Wan Kenobi, but it certainly helps.

The whole Kinect thing was really exciting back in 2010, but my interest in the technology has kind of waned along with the number of robot hacks. The Star Wars Kinect title teased in the original Cirque du Soleil-produced extravaganza at E3 2010 was becoming vaporware, but just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in. Surfacing on the web today is a short British commercial – at least it uses the PEGI rating logo – for the game starring a doofy American actor best known for his role on the sitcom Parks & Recreation. Yeah, I didn’t know his name was Chris Pratt until I saw this trailer either.

I’ll let you watch it yourself before I offer my criticism.

There’s about a million things wrong with this “trailer.” First, we don’t see any footage from the game. Why tease a game everyone knows exists without ever showing us how it will look or play? Scared we will tear it apart again?

I had no problem with Chris Pratt before, but watching a grown-ass dude jump around with a lightsaber isn’t all that funny when it’s sheer promotion. The lightsaber kid was funny because he didn’t know his film would be an internet sensation. There was an earnestness to that kid’s fight choreography, which is completely absent with Pratt prattling around like an idiot.

Lastly, the whole point of a Star Wars Kinect game is to envision yourself as a Jedi, complete with all the emotion and gravitas that entails. We want to pretend we’re Obi-Wan, not some schlep in a dingy robe. We want to battle and defeat the menacing Darth Vader, not elicit exasperated sighs from him.

By poking fun at a scene many of us hold to be sacred, Lucasarts made sure that I will never purchase this game. I cannot support anything that so disregards its source material.

You know, like George Lucas has done for the last fifteen years.


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