The Next-Gen In Hands-Free Technology


Straight from Japan (naturally) comes the SOM, the ultimate convergence of technology, pornography and those long, lonely winter nights in February.

Despite its appearance, this is not a kitchen appliance, unless you happening to be cooking in the kitchen of love; this is, in fact, a solo sex machine that connects to your PC via USB port, offering hands-free operation and complete control over the device’s various functions. The SOM comes in three flavors: Men’s, Lady’s and Petit, which is actually a scaled-down, portable version of the men’s device. The naughty bits in each SOM are made from “septon,” a new material which the company claims “is so safe that [it is] used in medical service,” and the manufacturer is so certain of your “super-satisfaction” that they guarantee maintenance of the device absolutely free.

But what good is a USB-controlled wanking machine without some audio-visual stimuli? Fortunately, 0verflow, another Japanese company, has developed Cross Days, an “erotic game” that Kotaku says works with the device by “[moving] in real time to corresponding on screen motions during climax scenes.” Whether or not the game supports both the Men’s and Lady’s versions of the device is mercifully unclear.

To find out more about the SOM – for strictly academic purposes, of course – check out the manufacturer’s amusingly Engrish website at; you can also read about Cross Days here, but only if you’re fluent in Japanese. Ah, Japan. Is there anything you won’t do?

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