Xbox App Lets You “Massage” Your Partner Remotely


Long-distance relationships are hard, especially around this time of year. A new Xbox Community Game called Remote Masseuse might relieve some of the pain of being apart, though.

Developed by Xbox Community user Entranger, Remote Masseuse is essentially what its name says it is. Two people get together on Xbox Live via the application, and then they take turns proceeding to “massage” the other by remotely controlling the vibration function of their partner’s Xbox controller. You can control speed and intensity of the vibrations while your partner moves it along their body. There are even different types of vibrations you can set that “allow you to give the massage you want to give or receive.”

While Remote Masseuse was rated “Sex=0/3, Mature Content=0/3” according to its product description, I’m going to have to say that for what it implies, it earns a 3/3 on both counts. The whole aesthetic sort of screams “classy-but-not-too-classy massage parlor backroom.” It also “supports voice chat so you can request the perfect massage,” but voice chat can be used for other stuff too, and I’m pretty sure they didn’t really have to build that functionality in if they didn’t think people were going to use it to coo romantic whisperings (and otherwise) over XBL. Finally, Remote Masseuse is “great for long distance relationships,” sure, but it also has a Solo Mode that “lets you use your own controller to relax.”

Okay, that just sounds naughty. There’s no way I’m reading too much into this. No way.

Remote Masseuse is downloadable for 200 Microsoft Points.

[Source: Kotaku]

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