A keyboard reputed to belong to comic-writing genius and perpetually grumpy wizard Alan Moore has turned up on Ebay.

I’ve had a go on the keyboard,” says the eBay listing, “and in doing so, felt the power of Alan surging through it. It immediately inspired me to write a fifteen chapter novel, comparable to the Russian Masters, which took no less than four and a half hours, without even stopping for a toilet break.”

It’s signed too.

Moore, notable for A: looking like an angry wizard from the cover of a 1980’s fantasy novel, and B: being one of the best writers in comic book history, is most recognized for Watchmen, but he also wrote From Hell, V For Vendetta, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Batman: The Killing Joke, amongst others. That’s not mentioning the massive number of dead or dying series he took over and revitalized – Marvelman, I’m looking at you.

The listed keyboard is a Microsoft Basic Keyboard 1.0A. It’s heavily used – the Q key appears to mark the beginnings of some kind of terrible cigarette graveyard and, according to the list of cons helpfully presented by the seller, the keyboard may not, in fact, work. The current bid stands at 245 English pounds.

The seller, artist Elke Pollard, claims Moore gave her the keyboard after she told him she was strapped for cash as she painted his portrait. While the picture on the right obviously reeks of authenticity, there’s no absolute guarantee the keyboard actually belonged to Moore. That being said, the sixth picture in the listing does appear to be the same keyboard, as held by Moore’s wife, Melinda.

Unfortunately, Pollard missed an excellent opportunity for a totally relevant Rorschach reference: “The international customers will look up and shout ‘Will it arrive before Christmas?’… and I’ll look down, and whisper ‘no.'”

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