Marriage is pointless, I really see no point. Please, someone give a reason.

People talk about how it's not a good thing when a divorce rate is high, and I would agree with that.

However, in these talks about high divorce rates being bad, it's assumed that a low divorce rate is very good. Which I don't necessarily agree with.

Because I don't think a low divorce rate means that more marriages are happy, I think it more likely means that people are staying in unhappy marriages.

I was in a debate recently where I was arguing against arranged marriages. The team in favour of arranged marriage stood up and said, "Arranged marriages have a low divorce rate, so they're good!".

My reply to this was that the low divorce rate demonstrated a problem actually, that people were unwilling to leave marriages where they were unhappy or, even worse, being abused.

So yeah, the number of divorces can't really be used as a measure of the "success" of marriage.

But onto the main point of the thread, is marriage still necessary? Well, I'm aromantic (I don't experience romantic attraction), so I have no intention of ever getting married. I don't really think the importance of marriage is that it's a tradition though, since marriage is generally completely changed every few generations. I'm in favour of marriage, purely because it helps us understand current and past society.

Edit: Though, when I think about it, an abandonment of marriage would say something about our culture.

I guess I really should be against marriage, it's very much tied up with sexism and the patriarchy and heteronormatism and all those fancy words, but I can't get that worked up about it. It's just a nice thing that some people do at the end of the day, people get all fussy about it but I'm not sure why.

Heh. Define sacred.
I say marriage is a religious institution, and should be treated exclusively as such. The biggest problem I see with it at this point is that governments recognize it as a legally binding contract. Remove that, and all you have left are people who stay together, and people who don't (and who whine about such, but what else is new?).

These days marriage is nothing more than a convenience to get tax breaks and all that bullshit.

Westaway:
Marriage is pointless, I really see no point. Please, someone give a reason.

Tax breaks.

Honestly the only reason I can think of.

Mortai Gravesend:
Marriage was never sacred. Nothing is sacred.

Marriage is a tradition that has simply changed. Is it necessary? I think that's a pointless thing to consider. Either people want it or they do not, that's all that matters. It can suit what people want for their lives or it might not, and they can decided what to do with it from there.

Pretty much that. To me it's an arbitrary and antediluvian institution, but to others it's a union that holds a lot of significence. If they want it, then they should be able to have it.

Westaway:
Marriage is pointless, I really see no point. Please, someone give a reason.

Its a legal thing there are lots of benefits to being married.

Until the death separates you is only in Christianity. And marriage never was sacred.

I didn't even bother reading what you had on your mind after I saw your avatar.

But that aside: marriage was originally about wealth and building alliances, and had nothing to do with anything sacred.

Currently divorce rates are going down and the better statistic to be using is divorces per thousand marriages. And I totally plan on spending the rest of my life with someone. I agree with many people here who say that sometimes people rush into relationships nobody involved was prepared for. Marriage will continue to exist as long as it remains the most practical system for society to promote, which seems to be something that won't change any time soon, at least not beyond its current state.

imahobbit4062:

DoPo:

imahobbit4062:
Yay for generalizing! I wasn't aware that everyone must at some point get divorced, thank you for explaining that to me :D

This is as stupid as the threads complaining about women being heartless bitches and men being sex crazed douchebags.

Yay for generalising some more! Surely all marriages go with the "until death do as apart", umm, part. There isn't a single one that doesn't feature that promise. Except for my uncle's wedding I was to. And my cousin's. Actually I first became aware of "until death do us apart" due to Hollywood movies. I hadn't even heard of anybody using it beforehand.

Yay for completely missing the point!
I never said all marriages go with "until death do us part". I said that not every marriage ends in divorce. Or perhaps you can't read?

And novixz never said all marriages end in divorce.

Lucem712:
That's why all marriage vows should be "Til hot blonde secretary with great tits do we part"

You forgot ''...or a guy who's better in bed.''

yeah marriage isn't the same as it was a 100 years ago, but what tradition is now a days?

either way, marriage still has it's place in today's society, it solves a crap load of paperwork if one of the two would die, and taxes for married people works differently.
Honestly, there is so much legal crap involved in marriage and often very different in different parts of the world that I wont even bother bringing everything up but point is there is often pretty good bonuses legally if you get married.
so today's society and system pretty much promotes you to marry a person you plan on spending a longer period of your time with, even if it isn't for your entire lifespan.

for example, believe me when I say... gay people wouldn't be fighting this hard just to be able to throw parties where they declare their love... might be one reason... but not the whole point.

One half of your OP seems incredibly progressive, and the other half seems incredibly conservative.

I mean, are you arguing people shouldn't be worried about it because its outdated, or are you arguing they should remain miserable with people just because the vows say they have to?

Marriage has always been about money and status as much as it's been about love, so arguing its sacred is rather pointless.

And before it inevitably comes up: marriage exists within religion, it is not a religious concept nor is it owned by the religious.

Yup, to me at least, marriage is not "sacred" in the least, and I don't see why it should be.
If two people agree that it would be better for both of them if they stopped seeing eachother, I say good for them.

Yes it is a shame to see how marriage is treated these days. In my Church, though, it is still treated as the most sacred thing in our Church. In the Church of Latter-day Saints (usually called "Mormons" by you muggles) when you get married, you get sealed. Which means that death does not do you part, you get to stay with your spouse and family for the rest of eternity, even after death. Pretty cool if you ask me.

But anyway, the divorce rate Temple Marriages (sealed marriages) for Mormons is %6, as opposed to... whatever the normal rate is these days I'm too lazy to look it up.

Marriage was never sacred. Wait, let me rephrase:

Marriage was never strictly an institution of religion.

LobsterFeng:

But anyway, the divorce rate Temple Marriages (sealed marriages) for Mormons is %6, as opposed to... whatever the normal rate is these days I'm too lazy to look it up.

According to who?

I'm sorry, but the LDS makes a lot of claims about itself that it cannot substantiate, so you'll have to forgive me if I don't take you at your word.

Zachary Amaranth:

LobsterFeng:

But anyway, the divorce rate Temple Marriages (sealed marriages) for Mormons is %6, as opposed to... whatever the normal rate is these days I'm too lazy to look it up.

According to who?

I'm sorry, but the LDS makes a lot of claims about itself that it cannot substantiate, so you'll have to forgive me if I don't take you at your word.

Here's one: http://www.religioustolerance.org/lds_divo.htm

And here's one: http://graceforgrace.com/2008/08/30/mormon-temple-marriages-have-only-6-divorce-rate/

Both of them lead to more ones if you're still interested.

>.>

<.<

I feel rather ambivalent towards this topic. I could participate in this thread, but everyone else expressed my feelings better than I can.

That and I ran out of fucks to give.

Westaway:
Marriage is pointless, I really see no point. Please, someone give a reason.

Personally, I wouldn't bother trying to give a reason for anything to somebody who lists their occupation as "Call of Duty". Something for you to think about once you grow up, though.

I don't care about marriage one way or another but I think this fits here:

Women are crazy. Men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is because men are stupid. It's not the only reason, but it's a big one.

Also, same-sex couples get vilified while Kim Kardashian gets divorced within what...2 months time and not one little uproar from these "family values" people? Yeah, marriage isn't sacred.

marriage is a holdover when women were bartering chips in a feudal society. you are GOD FUCKING DAMN right it isn't sacred.

MarsProbe:

Westaway:
Marriage is pointless, I really see no point. Please, someone give a reason.

Personally, I wouldn't bother trying to give a reason for anything to somebody who lists their occupation as "Call of Duty". Something for you to think about once you grow up, though.

It's a joke, friend. I haven't played CoD REALLY for several years, besides MW3 that my friend brought over a couple or weeks ago. I thought that was obvious, man. Obviously I don't consider playing CoD a job. I think the person here who needs to grow up would be you, considering you just sent a stranger an inflamatory message over the internet for no reason at all. I mean, there was nothing that could come from you telling me to grow up.

I don't think marriage is "necessary" per se, but I don't think we should abolish it either. If people want to get married, they can get married; if they don't, they don't have to. I do definitely believe that gay couples should get to make that decision too, incidentally. It's up to each couple to decide on how "sacred" marriage is to them personally.

As for my own intentions, I'm slightly conflicted about it. On some very basic level all the childhood Disney/fairytale stuff (and the fact that all the adult couples in my life- parents, grandparents, all my aunts and uncles etc were all married and had never been divorced) has programmed me to sort of want to get married one day. Or rather, to want a wedding- if I'm honest, I think that's just an uncharacteristically girly part of me breaking out and wanting the dress and the whole "beautiful bride" thing.

I'm an atheist, so I don't feel I need marriage as a way of having God bless my relationship or anything. I was raised Christian and in a family that was pretty involved with the local church though, and I sang in church choirs at literally hundreds of weddings growing up, so I think that soured my view of the "special day." Seriously, beside a couple of minor superficial changes every single church wedding is the same. Every. Fucking. One.

So once all that's out the way... I don't know. I get the whole "wanting to declare your love to all your friends and family and make it official" thing, but from my point of view it doesn't really change anything. Despite my (purely cultural) desire for a big celebration and everything, I'd be reluctant to spend the money when it could go towards a house or a car.

I also have major problems with the ceremony itself (even if it's non-religious) and with the institution of marriage as a whole, I guess. I'm a feminist, and I can't help but see the hangovers of patriarchy in a lot of it. Even though I know they're harmless and have taken on a different meaning these days, things like the idea of my father "giving me away" make my skin crawl. I definitely wouldn't be comfortable with that.

Add in to the equation the fact that I'm bisexual, so if I end up wanting to spend the rest of my life with another woman (happy as I am with my current boyfriend, you never know...) I may not have the option of marriage anyway.

So overall... meh. Who knows.

edit

Yeah, I mean I for one am appalled that my mother left my dad because he was abusive and violent. Doesn't she know marriage is special?

How 'bout go fuck yourself?

Personally I support union rather than marriage; a system that offers all the civil and legal rights of marriage, but without being tied to religion.

On the flipside, I think "marriage" should stay within the parameters of whatever religion defines it; it is a religious concept after all.

Though as with anything, people on both sides of the divide will bicker until all is ash and dust.