what would you make Earth's official language?

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This scene comes to mind after reading the title of this thread.

English 101: Remedial Kickass! :D

English, while it's true that more people speak Mandarin than any other language in the world, it's a very isolated language, English has almost as many speakers, but is spread among the world, making it a very easy language for cultures to connect with.

The language must be whatever language it was before the Tower of Babel, so, tower of Nega-Babel?

Gather all the linguists in the world, set them down and have them construct a language that could easily absorb & name new concepts as they are discovered, can be fairly easily taught to all people on the planet, and is logical in both it's written and spoken forms. Minimal to no Homonyms, or letters that sometimes sound like 'k', sometimes 's' but are really just there to hook up with the letter 'h'.

Then call it 'Terran' and make it's use mandatory in schools worldwide for a generation or two. No old languages around for BS 'ha my native language wins!' wars. I imagine it would quickly become like english in america. The 1st generation is mostly bi-lingual, the next knows a few words (mostly swears), and then it just slowly tails off into the mists of history except for a few scholars and/or language geeks.

edit

English, just English. I get that native English speaking countries are losing ground as world powers, and I get that Brazile and China are boming. But I think even the chinese considere their language to be impractical at times, and most Chinese people don't speak it themselves (speak as can talk). And since I don't see the world suddendly learning portuguese. Spanish might do the job, but in Europe it won't be taken seriously very quickly.

I would say English, second choice would be German

Full disclosure, I am from the USA

ToTaL LoLiGe:
I'm going to say Cat, Earth's native language shall be the language of Cats. Meow.

But then we would all need 3 names, Our names that are our true names, the names that we use to refer to each other, and ofcourse the names our owners give us, DAMN you Mrs. Jensen MY NAME IS NOT Mr. FLUFFINGTON!!!

And that is just too much to remember about every cat I meet.

image

It's Snowball :P

OH YEAH, and I almost forgot, it has to be humpback whale, this was established in Star Trek 4, because otherwise we will all be killed by some random space laser thing, and nobody wants that.

Even if everyone were to magically become fluent in this new language regardless of prior languages, I'd pick English.
It's flawed, confusing, and frequently ambiguous... But hell, I love it.

TheSuperiorXemnas:
Italian (Ezio, how you make me want to learn how to speak in that sexy language like you)
but the nerd in me wants to say Japanese.

speaka the itialiano witha the accent /hand gestures !

J.R.R. Tolkien:
Talking about discovering Finnish language

It was like discovering a complete wine-filled cellar filled with bottles of an amazing wine of a kind and flavor never tasted before. It quite intoxicated me...

The world might as well get a nice buzz on.

English, because i speak it and i'm selfish like that

also none of this wishy washy american english

ENGLISH ENGLISH

I would be walking through a cave and out of nowhere... SSSSSSSSSssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

English, simply because it's the most common. Except I would take out silent letters and add more Latin words.

Oops, sorry wrong thread.

Tom Roberts:
Gather all the linguists in the world, set them down and have them construct a language that could easily absorb & name new concepts as they are discovered, can be fairly easily taught to all people on the planet, and is logical in both it's written and spoken forms. Minimal to no Homonyms, or letters that sometimes sound like 'k', sometimes 's' but are really just there to hook up with the letter 'h'.

Then call it 'Terran' and make it's use mandatory in schools worldwide for a generation or two. No old languages around for BS 'ha my native language wins!' wars. I imagine it would quickly become like english in america. The 1st generation is mostly bi-lingual, the next knows a few words (mostly swears), and then it just slowly tails off into the mists of history except for a few scholars and/or language geeks.

I'm with this guy, except don't call it Terran - let the linguists decide what to call it.

Kragg:

TheSuperiorXemnas:
Italian (Ezio, how you make me want to learn how to speak in that sexy language like you)
but the nerd in me wants to say Japanese.

speaka the itialiano witha the accent /hand gestures !

That's Racist!

Raven's Nest:
Well English should be the main language but all cursing must be uttered in Chinese!

I dunno...I find Japanese obscenities even more awesome, but to each his own, I suppose.

Interpretative dance performed by pleasant-to-look-at ladies. And don't go "obectifying women" on me, cause their job would be very important and highly respected.

Also, very demanding; imagine how a misstep could cause a political shitstorm!

Pitjantjatjara.

If only to screw with effectively everyone, and to tie up so many tongues...

A new language, tailored to modern sensibilities. It'll have some consistency, with none of the exceptions and contradictions English speakers are used to, but all of the flexibility. It shall be called "Common", or "Terran". Or maybe, like, "Sol Native", once we're completely certain there's no civilisation living under Europa's ice or something.

Ooh, a neat hypothetical question. Latin is neat so that may be my second choice, but I think (were it complete) Relares from Tales of Legendia would make an amazing universal language. :3

Dragon language, Skyrim.

Japanese, having learned it as a second language I consider it much simpler and easier to learn than English. For the most part, it's straightforward. Also particles are awesome.

I'm gonna have to go with an updated form of arabic. Ditch all the idiosyncrasies that are only still around because they're in the Koran and and you would be left with a surprisingly sensible tongue.

I'm going with English. My reasoning is a bit odd, but here goes... English has the best sense of humor. It's just so witty. To my knowledge, there's just no other language that has such a great potential for creativity. And,as far as I know, no other languague has the awesome grasp of sarcasm, and irony, that we do. I know, that sounds weird, but that's just me.

P.S: If I'm incorrect in my assumptions, please let me know. ;)

Laughter, of course! It already is, so why change it! :D

Mathematics. It's the language of the universe.

I'm thinking German. German has a word for everything.

finiii:
Esperanto would be fitting as it was constructed to be an international language.

But I would pick whatever the vogon language is called. Poetry classes will be mandatory.

Esperanto was a nice idea, but if I remember right it was designed by a Finn and losely based on Finnish, a language with about 15 fricatives. I'm not sure English even has 5, and some languages don't have any. In terms of pronunciation it's not brilliant for everyone to learn.

English gets points in my book for simplicity. Sure, it's got some weird and dumb exceptions, but it has 2 distinct advantages over a lot of other languages: 1) no conjugation and 2) no declension. 2 things which are utterly needless, as evidenced by the fact that a good number of languages get by without them.

I suppose if I could choose any language at all, maybe... Syhar? I dunno.

It's a moot point anyway, give it 100 years and we'll all be speaking Simplified Chinese.

The Pinray:
Laughter, of course! It already is, so why change it! :D

You, Sir (or Madam) have just won the internet.

ExileNZ:
Esperanto was a nice idea, but if I remember right it was designed by a Finn and losely based on Finnish, a language with about 15 fricatives. I'm not sure English even has 5, and some languages don't have any. In terms of pronunciation it's not brilliant for everyone to learn.

Zamenhof was Polish, not Finnish. And Esperanto has eight fricatives and very standardized pronunciation overall.

Well, English would be the practical choice. But why the fuck would we want to be practical?

I'm gonna say Flemish, or Vietnamese...

Well considering English is basically a collection of bastardized everything and ASCII revolves around it, i'll just stick with it.
It's hard to learn but an extremely expressive language that is easily modifiable and the use of common latin characters makes it easy and quick to write in, too.

I'd probably adopt the standard English and throw in some more French words, just because.

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