You have one wish!

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I'd wish for a magical tome that never runs out of blank pages and whatever I - and I alone - write into this tome becomes reality.

There's the loopwhole for essentially infinite wishes. All you're asking for is a magical artifact...it just so happens that it can be used to do/get you anything you want. :3

Wish for more genies.

MonkeyPunch:
Ah always that "no wishing for more wishes" caveat.

How about wishing for your rule about 'no wishing for more wishes' to be void?
That's not wishing for more wishes and would technically work :)

Also ninja'ed just above with wishing for my own wishes to come true. (though you could argue that indirectly that's wishing for more wishes)

Since you only get one wish, and you used it up wishing that it was possible to wish for more wishes, you basically just lost a wish and didn't get anything.

BluebellForest:
I wish to be happy

Magical ultra-heroin. Whether you overdose and die or just end up with a crippling addiction because you didn't wish for enduring happiness is up to you.

kommando367:
Reality Warping. That's about all I need.

Your dreams warp reality. You get eaten by a gribbly monster from the nth dimension.

yeti585:
I'm going to wish that Dubstep disappears and takes Skrillex with it. It is then replaced by good electronica.

Dubstep is just one of the things that disappears in The Event. The sounds They make are, to human ears, a lot like good electronica, so the few human survivors no to avoid the hell out of electronica in case it comes from one of Them. Because of what happened to him in The Event, Skrillex is mythologised as a hero of some kind, or at least a martyr.

Istvan:
Near-infinite wealth, I would handle the rest.

Someone living on a dollar a day is exactly as close to having infinite wealth as Bill Gates is. Because of the trickiness contained therein, your net wealth actually drops when the wish is granted.

The Lazy Blacksmith:
Invincibility. I would jump off of mountains for giggles.

Invincible just means you can't be defeated. When you suicide by jumping off a mountain, you die without having been defeated by anyone.

Scarim Coral:
I would wish for 10 million within my bank. Still I wouldn't trust the fairy since she can twist my wish in that while it does goes into my account but suddently I can no longer access to my account for whatever reasons.

Well, yeah, that's kind of the point, you're supposed to come up with ways to avoid being screwed over. And you're not just going to lose access to the account, the government is looking to have a word with you about that money, you have a few years behind bars to look forward to (either tax reasons, or money-laundering reasons, or both).

RJ 17:
I'd wish for a magical tome that never runs out of blank pages and whatever I - and I alone - write into this tome becomes reality.

There's the loopwhole for essentially infinite wishes. All you're asking for is a magical artifact...it just so happens that it can be used to do/get you anything you want. :3

You open the book, and unfortunately a breeze blows in. The pages turn in a rush, and new pages spawn just as quickly. You drop the book, which makes things even worse. The spine tears open, and the infinite wave of paper engulfs your worm, swamps your neighbourhood, and drowns the world.

Alternately, if I wanted to be lazy, the internet fairy granting the wish just decides you're being a dick and refuses to give you anything.

Samurai Silhouette:
Wish for more genies.

Granted. The summoned army of Djinn owe you nothing, have no reason to answer to you, and since the wish is granted by a fairy you don't even have reason to expect them to be able to grant wishes. What you do notice, as the dozens of muscular creatures appear before you, is that each one is carrying a big-ass scimitar, and looks pissed-off about something or other.

Seriously, escapist, are you even trying?

Also, why does everyone wish for more wishes, or just some variation of that? It's no fun, since you're basically not announcing anything you'd actually wish for, and generally when you get to wish for something it's because some omnipotent being is granting you a favour or three, what the hell kind of jackass would ask for unlimited favours when they're told "I owe you one" or something like that?

Omnipotence.

Ix Rebound:

Bhaalspawn:
Every living thing in the universe, including me, dead.

ummm.. ...why?

We're all going that way anyway, so any other kind of wish I would make would be pointless. Just speed up the process and drift away into peaceful nothingness.

Rowan93:

Scarim Coral:
I would wish for 10 million within my bank. Still I wouldn't trust the fairy since she can twist my wish in that while it does goes into my account but suddently I can no longer access to my account for whatever reasons.

Well, yeah, that's kind of the point, you're supposed to come up with ways to avoid being screwed over. And you're not just going to lose access to the account, the government is looking to have a word with you about that money, you have a few years behind bars to look forward to (either tax reasons, or money-laundering reasons, or both).

That's the thing. If I make a wish for the fairy to NOT screw me over than I had wasted my one wish. Also trying to come up with a logical wish that has little to none repercussions created by the fairy or not would be a painstaking to think of.

Actually what would happen if I wish the fairy to have freedom (or just no longer need to give out a wish and the fairy does whatever he/ she want)? Well assuming the fairy is forced to give out a wish or is this fairy is going it on his/ her free will?

Bhaalspawn:

Ix Rebound:

Bhaalspawn:
Every living thing in the universe, including me, dead.

ummm.. ...why?

We're all going that way anyway, so any other kind of wish I would make would be pointless. Just speed up the process and drift away into peaceful nothingness.

Except we wouldn't you know if you used your wish to fix that you big dumb negative nancy noir nihilist.

We definately wont since I just grabbed up some godhood so don't worry everyone after he kills everyone I'll just bring everyone back. (Because as a deity I wouldn't technichally be "Living")

The ability to teleport anywhere, anytime. So many uses, so much fun.

I could visit Canada to get a Double Big Mac (funny that America doesn't have those), beam myself into amusement parks without paying sixty pounds to enter, go to exotic locales, and even beam myself into Number 10 Downing Street and play pranks on that damn David Cameron.

"Why's all my office furnature glued to the damn ceiling!?!?" -David Cameron, 25 minutes after my wish is granted.

Free access to a permanent personal pocket dimension whose rules and contents were moldable based on my whim. No need for any more wishes, I can bend reality myself.

Bhaalspawn:

Ix Rebound:

Bhaalspawn:
Every living thing in the universe, including me, dead.

ummm.. ...why?

We're all going that way anyway, so any other kind of wish I would make would be pointless. Just speed up the process and drift away into peaceful nothingness.

Ah, but if this thing was really vindictive, it might send us all to some form of afterlife where you end up being punished for ~7 billion murders, and one suicide.

FalloutJack:

Shotgun Guy:
-You asked for it-

I took alot of philosophy in college, so...this may hurt.

When I was writing the paper for Rationalism, it represented most of my grade, a very different approach from the usual grading in other courses that I'd taken, even of the same subject. I had to do something that I could keep as an interesting and thought-provoking for pages on end, because this was no regular professor. They had effectively imported him from Germany as a visitor to the area for like...one semester, and then he was gone in a flash! Thus, I came upon the topic of rationally deconstructing god's omnipotence and status as a being of good and evil, despite religious claims that god is only good. An actual discussion of this would belong in Religion and Politics, but satisfying curiosity is hardly out of line, so...

Obviously, I'm not gonna quote the entire damn thing verbatim. What followed in the paper was an establishment of god existence as per rationalism (Easy, since Descarte and plenty of others had thought about this already.), and then went on the properly define omnipotence as all-powerful without fail. It's what we coined the term for, and he's the one we established it to. The all-powerful and all-knowing god, creator of all, etc. It was by this method that I proved that this also meant that god was capable of great evil along with great good by definition alone, if not also for the fact that evil exists and everything originally came from him, SO...there you have THAT. Everyone's definition of evil exists, else we wouldn't be defining them, and even in metacognative, forward-thinking, introspective analysis of the end result of all things we still must conclude he has some asshole moments IF he was indeed omnipotent.

That was where my paper led me, and then I made the incredible discovery that god's infinite power must contain every choice, bad or good, even against paradoxes and impossibilities because it couldn't possibly switch off. How do you put Everything into a box marked Everything, which includes the box you just put Everything in? I determined that the reason things are the way they are and not giant perfection was because - religiously speaking - god's power is always on and never able to un-god, so he has to have the omniscience to look after all that he's done every microsecond, some of which may have been the worst atrocities ever conceived by man, IF we follow that line of thinking.

That's why I believe omnipotence is no fun. You become Sim Universe forever and don't have time for much else.

Thank you, I've taken a small amount of philosophy myself and this is definitely an interesting theory, from what you've presented anyway. Personally I always got too hung up on philosophical skepticism to really make too much of an effort to concretely state much, I'm just not sure the human mind can really grasp concepts that are supposedly anything but human.

Scarim Coral:

Rowan93:

Scarim Coral:
I would wish for 10 million within my bank. Still I wouldn't trust the fairy since she can twist my wish in that while it does goes into my account but suddently I can no longer access to my account for whatever reasons.

Well, yeah, that's kind of the point, you're supposed to come up with ways to avoid being screwed over. And you're not just going to lose access to the account, the government is looking to have a word with you about that money, you have a few years behind bars to look forward to (either tax reasons, or money-laundering reasons, or both).

That's the thing. If I make a wish for the fairy to NOT screw me over than I had wasted my one wish. Also trying to come up with a logical wish that has little to none repercussions created by the fairy or not would be a painstaking to think of.

Actually what would happen if I wish the fairy to have freedom (or just no longer need to give out a wish and the fairy does whatever he/ she want)? Well assuming the fairy is forced to give out a wish or is this fairy is going it on his/ her free will?

It's not that difficult, as long as you assume really outlandish and arbitrary things aren't included (for instance, if the fairy gives you your 10,000,000 but also gives you cancer, that would just be cheating).

As for the wish-granter's reasons, I generally assume the wish is more or less in good faith, but people who try to exploit it by wishing for more wishes in some way are going to be thoroughly fucked. Also, if there's a possible interpretation of the wish that the wish-granter might just get confused about, or decide to do because it's easier or something, you should also attempt to rule those out.

Obviously in my actual post I was more or less ignoring those principles, and screwing up everyone's wishes, but quite a few of them did/do have flaws that needed to be pointed out.

Omnipotence. I can make everything myself then, thanks.

So no wishing for no wishes FROM the person granting me wishes; what about a relic that will grant my wishes? LOOOPHOOOOOLE.

Shotgun Guy:
-Stuff!-

One can but try. The point was always to never stop pursuing the answers, else we stagnate.

Rowan93:

Scarim Coral:

Rowan93:

Well, yeah, that's kind of the point, you're supposed to come up with ways to avoid being screwed over. And you're not just going to lose access to the account, the government is looking to have a word with you about that money, you have a few years behind bars to look forward to (either tax reasons, or money-laundering reasons, or both).

That's the thing. If I make a wish for the fairy to NOT screw me over than I had wasted my one wish. Also trying to come up with a logical wish that has little to none repercussions created by the fairy or not would be a painstaking to think of.

Actually what would happen if I wish the fairy to have freedom (or just no longer need to give out a wish and the fairy does whatever he/ she want)? Well assuming the fairy is forced to give out a wish or is this fairy is going it on his/ her free will?

It's not that difficult, as long as you assume really outlandish and arbitrary things aren't included (for instance, if the fairy gives you your 10,000,000 but also gives you cancer, that would just be cheating).

As for the wish-granter's reasons, I generally assume the wish is more or less in good faith, but people who try to exploit it by wishing for more wishes in some way are going to be thoroughly fucked. Also, if there's a possible interpretation of the wish that the wish-granter might just get confused about, or decide to do because it's easier or something, you should also attempt to rule those out.

Obviously in my actual post I was more or less ignoring those principles, and screwing up everyone's wishes, but quite a few of them did/do have flaws that needed to be pointed out.

I just blame that episode of the X-Files with a genie in it (Je Souhaite). That genie always put a twist to that person wish e.g Mulder used his first wish for peace on Earth so the genie wipse the entire human race off the planet except for Mulder (peace as in "peace" and quiet) so he used his second wish to bring them back. Before you asked, the third wish for to set the genie free which show she was living out a normal life at the end.
It was thanks to that I just view genie well the concept of a being that grant wishes to be distrustful. Not even the friendly Robin Williams version from Aladdin can changed my view on them.

I wish for more wish fairies!

I'd flip a coin before making my wish:

Heads - Rob Liefeld never worked on Deathstroke.

Tails - Portal Gun.

Seems simple enough :3 I'd probably go with the Portal Gun though honestly because...ya know...travel. The lack of long-fall boots would be my undoing though...

Unlimited Internet-Born, Home-Intruding, Wish-Granting Grand Fairies. Then my second wish would be for the original fairy to be arrested for trespassing.

I'd wish for the ability to multiply myself like Billy Numerous.

Think about it. I could get 70 different jobs, and even if they were all minimum wage, that's something like 500 dollars an hour. With the clones sustaining me, I'd never be short on company, conversation, or cash. Best part though? I'd not have to get a job. The clones would.

Sean Steele:
Omnipotence.

monkey_man:
Omnipotence. I can make everything myself then, thanks.

HeWhoFightsBosses:
So no wishing for no wishes FROM the person granting me wishes; what about a relic that will grant my wishes? LOOOPHOOOOOLE.

AgentLampshade:
I wish for more wish fairies!

FolkLikePanda:
Unlimited Internet-Born, Home-Intruding, Wish-Granting Grand Fairies. Then my second wish would be for the original fairy to be arrested for trespassing.

I hate these answers so, so much. These wishes contribute about as much as saying "I wish for what I would wish for", i.e. absolutely nothing, and on top of that, it's being enormously dickish towards the wish-granter and they're going to think you're a greedy bastard, so wish-subversion will inevitably happen.

The omnipotence comes with massive power incontinence so you can't really have any fun and you're actually at risk of accidentally erasing yourself from reality at any moment just by thinking about it. The relic suffers from similar problems, plus it's also fragile.

The extra wish-granting fairies are able to grant wishes, but that doesn't mean they'll respond to you when you wish for things. They'll probably just use their phenomenal cosmic power to erase you from existence because you looked at them funny.

Drakmorg:
If I'm feeling boring, infinite money.
If I'm not boring, chainsaw car. Wait, no, I can just hire engineers to design and build a chainsaw car for me if I'm rich.
I've got it! Robot best friend! Wait, no, money can buy that too. Dammit!
Oh, now I've got it! Cat-girls. That works. I'll take that one please. I expect it in the mail soon Internet Fairy. Chop Chop!

*Door Bell* "Hello Sir, I am with Cat-girls Inc. Congratulations on winning our contest of 'Win a Cat-girl', now here is your prize!"

*Walks over to crate next to door, sticks in crowbar and opens crate as a bunch of plastic packaging popcorn things fall out, and out comes the puddle of Cat-girls*

"Enjoy!" *Walk off*

OT: Um... lets just go with 'God-mode enabled' since it's only one wish, three would get some actual true wishes.

Rowan93:

Sean Steele:
Omnipotence.

monkey_man:
Omnipotence. I can make everything myself then, thanks.

HeWhoFightsBosses:
So no wishing for no wishes FROM the person granting me wishes; what about a relic that will grant my wishes? LOOOPHOOOOOLE.

AgentLampshade:
I wish for more wish fairies!

FolkLikePanda:
Unlimited Internet-Born, Home-Intruding, Wish-Granting Grand Fairies. Then my second wish would be for the original fairy to be arrested for trespassing.

I hate these answers so, so much. These wishes contribute about as much as saying "I wish for what I would wish for", i.e. absolutely nothing, and on top of that, it's being enormously dickish towards the wish-granter and they're going to think you're a greedy bastard, so wish-subversion will inevitably happen.

The omnipotence comes with massive power incontinence so you can't really have any fun and you're actually at risk of accidentally erasing yourself from reality at any moment just by thinking about it. The relic suffers from similar problems, plus it's also fragile.

The extra wish-granting fairies are able to grant wishes, but that doesn't mean they'll respond to you when you wish for things. They'll probably just use their phenomenal cosmic power to erase you from existence because you looked at them funny.

1. I think the universe would be better at me at the helm I assure you that AIDS would be nipped in the bud

2. You really cant screw it up its like a lawyer when they screw you over. "Godlike Power, sure but... I get to pick the god." Omnipotence is one thing that is conceptually universal they would have to give me exactly what I asked for.

a7xman:
For once in my life, to have a girl I really like to like me in return, or at least give me a chance.

Would you say you wish for a goddess to stay by your side forever?

silver wolf009:
I'd wish for the ability to multiply myself like Billy Numerous.

Think about it. I could get 70 different jobs, and even if they were all minimum wage, that's something like 500 dollars an hour. With the clones sustaining me, I'd never be short on company, conversation, or cash. Best part though? I'd not have to get a job. The clones would.

If you split into 71 separate people, and 70 get minimum-wage jobs, that means that 98.6% of you is working a crappy minimum-wage job. It also means you have to pay for 71 people's food and clothing and possibly housing with that money, depending on how long you stay dispersed. You'll at least have to have lunch separately, most other expenses can maybe be avoided but it'll be tricky. And that's if you're not too worried about being visible, but really you should be because your powers don't make you any less vulnerable to the government. If one of you is captured by the government and experimented on, you are actually going to experience that crappiness, even if another part of you is free. On that topic, you probably get to experience multiple deaths.

Or, if the clones are less inherently you, you'll just get the more boring problem of rebellion and getting your ass kicked by yourself.

To restart my life as a girl with a few important memories from this life.

Sean Steele:

Rowan93:
snip

1. I think the universe would be better at me at the helm I assure you that AIDS would be nipped in the bud

2. You really cant screw it up its like a lawyer when they screw you over. "Godlike Power, sure but... I get to pick the god." Omnipotence is one thing that is conceptually universal they would have to give me exactly what I asked for.

1. Sure, probably better with a human at the helm than without, although if you're worried about AIDS you're probably thinking a bit too small to be the optimal human to give unlimited cosmic power to.

2. Well, yes you can, I gave an example of how. Plus, omnipotence isn't actually conceptually universal, people argue about the definition a lot. It's mostly the niggly bits, but those bits could destroy the universe if you poke them (don't try to make a square circle, or a rock so big you can't lift it, for instance).

Give me the body and skills, training, mental conditioning, weaponry and armour, of a Space Marine Captain from Warhammer 40k.

-Minus the religous devotion to the Emperor.

Then i set off on my quest to become UFC champion or some such.

Rowan93:

Sean Steele:
Omnipotence.

monkey_man:
Omnipotence. I can make everything myself then, thanks.

HeWhoFightsBosses:
So no wishing for no wishes FROM the person granting me wishes; what about a relic that will grant my wishes? LOOOPHOOOOOLE.

AgentLampshade:
I wish for more wish fairies!

FolkLikePanda:
Unlimited Internet-Born, Home-Intruding, Wish-Granting Grand Fairies. Then my second wish would be for the original fairy to be arrested for trespassing.

I hate these answers so, so much. These wishes contribute about as much as saying "I wish for what I would wish for", i.e. absolutely nothing, and on top of that, it's being enormously dickish towards the wish-granter and they're going to think you're a greedy bastard, so wish-subversion will inevitably happen.

The omnipotence comes with massive power incontinence so you can't really have any fun and you're actually at risk of accidentally erasing yourself from reality at any moment just by thinking about it. The relic suffers from similar problems, plus it's also fragile.

The extra wish-granting fairies are able to grant wishes, but that doesn't mean they'll respond to you when you wish for things. They'll probably just use their phenomenal cosmic power to erase you from existence because you looked at them funny.

Fine... I wish you would have taste buds on your anus. =P

Rowan93:

silver wolf009:
I'd wish for the ability to multiply myself like Billy Numerous.

Think about it. I could get 70 different jobs, and even if they were all minimum wage, that's something like 500 dollars an hour. With the clones sustaining me, I'd never be short on company, conversation, or cash. Best part though? I'd not have to get a job. The clones would.

If you split into 71 separate people, and 70 get minimum-wage jobs, that means that 98.6% of you is working a crappy minimum-wage job. It also means you have to pay for 71 people's food and clothing and possibly housing with that money, depending on how long you stay dispersed. You'll at least have to have lunch separately, most other expenses can maybe be avoided but it'll be tricky. And that's if you're not too worried about being visible, but really you should be because your powers don't make you any less vulnerable to the government. If one of you is captured by the government and experimented on, you are actually going to experience that crappiness, even if another part of you is free. On that topic, you probably get to experience multiple deaths.

Or, if the clones are less inherently you, you'll just get the more boring problem of rebellion and getting your ass kicked by yourself.

There's no need to feed or water the clones, as they simply disolve back into Billy upon command, or when he reaches his limit. I don't believe we were ever given an exact number for his limit, but it was more than enough to literally pick up and steal a BRIDGE. And we're not talking some piece of wood, we're talking this kind of bridge:

image

And bring it to a football stadium he more or less filled on his own.

The clones are duplicates, and work towards a shared goal, as is demonstrated by them forming human ladders and other formations, plus that Tron style maze. This means they're either following orders, or simply working together for a common goal. They know they're finite, and they don't seem to resist or disobey, so mutiny isn't a likely possibility, and could easily be undone by reabsorbing them in the incredibly unlikely possibility they do cause trouble.

And I don't regularly die on any given day at work, so why would I experience multiple deaths? Also, I'm pretty sure they don't share sensation.

As for the government thing, don't let more than one version of me be seen together. Hell, if I wanted, I could propose a business agreement with the government. I'm pretty sure any government would kill for a replicating platoon.

EDIT: Forgot to mention they the jumpsuit, so they do duplicate clothes, although more than likely simply skin tight ones, so one suit can cover us all.

Rowan93:

Sean Steele:

Rowan93:
snip

1. I think the universe would be better at me at the helm I assure you that AIDS would be nipped in the bud

2. You really cant screw it up its like a lawyer when they screw you over. "Godlike Power, sure but... I get to pick the god." Omnipotence is one thing that is conceptually universal they would have to give me exactly what I asked for.

1. Sure, probably better with a human at the helm than without, although if you're worried about AIDS you're probably thinking a bit too small to be the optimal human to give unlimited cosmic power to.

2. Well, yes you can, I gave an example of how. Plus, omnipotence isn't actually conceptually universal, people argue about the definition a lot. It's mostly the niggly bits, but those bits could destroy the universe if you poke them (don't try to make a square circle, or a rock so big you can't lift it, for instance).

I'll be a hands on deity, AIDS gotta go.

No Omnipotence, the ability to do anything it directly translates to ALL POWER. There is no confusion to it thats the term.

The power to break people's knees with my mind.

I would wipe the asshole race out by strictly enforcing my justice on them.
Also it would be the funniest thing ever.

FolkLikePanda:

Rowan93:
- snip -

Fine... I wish you would have taste buds on your anus. =P

Candy-flavoured buttplugs.

I'd wish that everyone hates dolphins.

...

I have my reasons...

I would choose to enter any fantasy medium(books, movies, TV) as if it was a book from MYST as well as being able to write Ages. And I would make it so I always have a linking book back to the real world no matter where I go.

Honestly, I'd wish for a universal language, preferably one that everyone knew in addition to their native language. I really feel like it would be helpful to the world if everybody was able to communicate.

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