Stupidist things youve heard people say

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My nephew was about 4 or 5 I think when I hear him ask a question. It was the first time he had ever seen a black man, he asks "What's that?"

BTW I also read this thing on youtube saying that people from the British Isles aren't European. He said that the only Europeans are people from places like Denmark, France, and so forth. His reason being that they drive on the other side of the road and use the GBP as a currency instead of the EURO and no one living in the British Isles consider themselves to be European, at all.

Alright.

Anything my best friend says when not in the presence of nerds.

Anything.

He likes to speak in D&D and League of Legends references, and we have found out that me and maybe one other guy in the two dozen people I know get what the hell he is saying half the time. The other half of the time, I'm shamed to admit, it's just me.

I also have another candidate:

"I used to question my grip on reality, but I stopped when it started asking me back"

On a side note, watch "Hot Fuzz" and wait until Lurch gets taken out by a plant, then repeat my thoughts:

"They say pot is bad for your brain"

I've got two good one,

These were in a Yr 10 Biology/Physc class (One half year was one, the other ect.)

Teacher makes an analogy to a lighthouse
Girl: 'What's a lighthouse?'
Rest of class facepalms
It took 30 minuets to explain to her what the function of a lighthouse is

Another one she said
Teacher explains how the internet made it easy for scientists to share data, because before 1980/70s they had to fax or phone call or mail
Same girl: Wait, they didn't have internet back then? What did they do on their laptops and phones then?
She also didn't believe the TV was a 20th century invention

So many facepalms, I honestly don't know how she passed Primary School -.-

Aaron Sylvester:
There are a number of people out there who firmly believe that the human eye cannot tell the difference between 30 fps, 60 fps or 120 fps (fps = frames per second or framerate) when it comes to watching videos or even playing videogames.

So I'll still keep this "30 fps myth" at the back of my mind as one of the stupidest things people can say, and one of the stupidest arguments one can make. Having used a 120hz monitor over the past year, the difference is so mind-blowingly obvious it's not even funny :P

30 to 60 has quite a big difference. Any more than 60 is just used as a measure for power. At least to me anyway. If the game allows it, I lock FPS to 60 since it won't matter anyway (let's see what happens once I get a more respectable monitor).

VoidWanderer:
I was a having a religous discussion about my alternate views on the crucifixion of Christ, when the man I was speaking said this gem.

"Jesus is man's sin made manifest!"

image

OT: In classes, a guy was ripping the gold film out of his candy bar wrapper and folding it into a swan. The guy next to him asked, "Is that sexual?"

See the above image.

xochiquetzal:
also I once heard comedian Marcus Brigstocke mention an Islamic priest who said...

"the reason there are so many earthquakes is because women are showing cleavage"

Yep, that was a thing. Google "boobquake" for more details. Fun Fact: On the day of Boobquake, there was a major earthquake in Taiwan, but it had a 1/3 chance of happening anyways.

Oh, forgot this one. My friend one time asked me what the capital of South America was. Yep. Me my brother and her sister made fun of her for that for a long time.

Well, first would have to be "Are there stars in space?" coming from an otherwise perfectly normal high school student.
A close second would have to be when a friend of mine claimed that the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki caused the Second World War to begin.

"What is Obamas last name?"
God that one is sooo bad.

Vault101:
I dont mean this to be a hate thread...people both smart and dumb somtimes say the most hilarious things

my example is from my mum a couple of days ago....we were in the city and I met up with her and dad after visiting the comicbook store, I took one out while we were waiting for my brother and she casually asked

"do you read them?"

I had to pause and then say "no...I throw them in the trash" she then said "well I dont know mabye you just looked at the pictures" she then addmitted it was a pretty dumb thing to say

Which store?
I'm quite partial to Empire Toys, but my brother swears by Quality Comics.

OT: I can't think of a specific example. There are so many.

Mazza35:
I've got two good one,

These were in a Yr 10 Biology/Physc class (One half year was one, the other ect.)

Teacher makes an analogy to a lighthouse
Girl: 'What's a lighthouse?'
Rest of class facepalms
It took 30 minuets to explain to her what the function of a lighthouse is

Another one she said
Teacher explains how the internet made it easy for scientists to share data, because before 1980/70s they had to fax or phone call or mail
Same girl: Wait, they didn't have internet back then? What did they do on their laptops and phones then?
She also didn't believe the TV was a 20th century invention

So many facepalms, I honestly don't know how she passed Primary School -.-

Most administrations will avoid keeping a child back or putting them up as they conceive the purpose of school as socialisation and education hand in hand, not education first. Children are kept with their year cohort at all costs, occasionally to the detriment of the student's learning.

StBishop:
Which store?
I'm quite partial to Empire Toys, but my brother swears by Quality Comics.

I love empire toys! though I keep forgetting they have comics too...I find their range isn't as big as quality comics

that day I went to both Comiczone (which moved) and Quality comics, I think Quality comics has the best slelction of trade paperbacks and older stuff where Comiczone is better for new issues (generally speaking of coarse)

10*10=10
In grade 4 all my classmates and teacher argued with me about that for about 5min
I was only one who said that it is 100
After 5min teacher finally snapped from this mob consensus and agreed that I was right
I stared at them all with my most hateful look for a full minute
That day I realized that world is full of morons and that democracy is overrated

Also
"You can't get STD's from oral sex"
I wasn't surprised anymore though.

revjor:
*sitting on a bus in Honolulu when a tourist gets on and asks the bus driver*

"Do you take AMERICAN dollars?"

What is so dumb about this?

Vault101:

StBishop:
Which store?
I'm quite partial to Empire Toys, but my brother swears by Quality Comics.

I love empire toys! though I keep forgetting they have comics too...I find their range isn't as big as quality comics

that day I went to both Comiczone (which moved) and Quality comics, I think Quality comics has the best slelction of trade paperbacks and older stuff where Comiczone is better for new issues (generally speaking of coarse)

Yeah, you're definitely right about Empire's range being smaller. They have interesting stuff though. I've actually never been to Comiczone, I'll go check it out, I use to always go to this one place in Brisbane (ACE Comics and Games) but I haven't found a place I like as much over here.

A friends sister heard a Metallica song playing and immediately said "Wow these guys are so bad! They'll never last"

A classmate once asked me
"Does mint tea help clean and whiten your teeth?"

I guess she thought it was the mint flavor of toothpaste that did the actual cleaning part and so naturally anything with a minty flavor would do the same.

Cheesus Crust:
My nephew was about 4 or 5 I think when I hear him ask a question. It was the first time he had ever seen a black man, he asks "What's that?"

BTW I also read this thing on youtube saying that people from the British Isles aren't European. He said that the only Europeans are people from places like Denmark, France, and so forth. His reason being that they drive on the other side of the road and use the GBP as a currency instead of the EURO and no one living in the British Isles consider themselves to be European, at all.

As a Brit that is horribly cringe worthy. Whoever said that is a moron of the highest calibre.

Ryan Minns:
A friends sister heard a Metallica song playing and immediately said "Wow these guys are so bad! They'll never last"

Oh GOD WHY? Please tell me you told her off.

Subscriptism:

Ryan Minns:
A friends sister heard a Metallica song playing and immediately said "Wow these guys are so bad! They'll never last"

Oh GOD WHY? Please tell me you told her off.

We both just looked at her before breaking out in laughter. It was too funny not to. Though we explained her error while bad mouthing her music choices subtly

blackrave:

revjor:
*sitting on a bus in Honolulu when a tourist gets on and asks the bus driver*

"Do you take AMERICAN dollars?"

What is so dumb about this?

Honolulu is the Capital of Hawaii. Hawaii is a State in America. Thus, Hawaii's official currency is the US Dollar, just like the rest of the states. Short Version: Honolulu is in the US.

"I don't like Metal Gear Solid, I just hate First Person Shooters."

I tried so hard, so very hard not to facepalm. This was coming from someone who had actually tried an MGS game, Twin Snakes on the gamecube, and has seen me play the other MGS games.

Ryan Minns:

Subscriptism:

Ryan Minns:
A friends sister heard a Metallica song playing and immediately said "Wow these guys are so bad! They'll never last"

Oh GOD WHY? Please tell me you told her off.

We both just looked at her before breaking out in laughter. It was too funny not to. Though we explained her error while bad mouthing her music choices subtly

I can be calm again. Thank you paragon of all that is good.

FireDr@gon:

Malkav:
we don't have mouses here

We have a new one straight from the thread - its MICE man, not 'mouses', frickin' genius.

Damn, knew it! Fair enough. But cut me some slack, it was really really late and I don't use or learn English outside of the internet, since I'm not a native speaker. If you couldn't tell after reading that wall of text, it can't be too horrible.

his1nightmare:
One man once asked me: "How long does it take to upload a video on Youtube?"
Me: "This is the most stupid thing I've ever read."
He: "Why?"
Me: "This is the second most stupid thing I've ever read."

So someone asks you something and you answer "This is the most stupid thing I've ever read"?

Van Surfing
Cool captcha, captcha.

If you want some gems look at the average 1 star Amazon review. My God some people should not be allowed internet access.

So many people who give the product a 1 star review purely because Amazon delivered it late, or it got damaged during delivery. Bearing in mind that reviews on Amazon are meant for the product itself not the service.

Krantos:

blackrave:

revjor:
*sitting on a bus in Honolulu when a tourist gets on and asks the bus driver*

"Do you take AMERICAN dollars?"

What is so dumb about this?

Honolulu is the Capital of Hawaii. Hawaii is a State in America. Thus, Hawaii's official currency is the US Dollar, just like the rest of the states. Short Version: Honolulu is in the US.

Oh, THAT.
I've heard that even amongst unitedstatians (I refuse call them americans) Alaska and Hawaii are considered as "not real" states.
If that tourist was non-US resident then it might make things even more complicated.

Teenage girl describing her relationship with her boyfriend: "we're going to live happily ever after, just like Romeo and Juliet". I don't think she's seen that play all the way to the end.

"I have a strong hatred for fat people" - A prick at my school.

bobajob:

If you're using a console you will only ever get 30FPS(if you're lucky). Sorry.

Counter ignorance with more ignorance?

I like it :D

OT: One of my roomies at university was the worst kind of idiot. The kind that thinks she's always right and flips her shit 'if you dare question her'.

She thought our patio was wet because, and I quote, 'It absorbed the water from next door's patio.'

...

Wat

I accidentally quoted the wrong person, my bad.

endplanets:
Me: "blah blah Asian people, like Ghandi/Jesus/Stalin"
Tim: "Ghandi/Jesus/Stalin isn't Asian"
Me: "He was born in India/Nazareth/Georgia. Which is in Asia"
Tim: "But that doesn't mean he is Asian"

Also:
Me: "Welcome to our school new kid. What is that flag on your backpack?"
New kid: "Oh, its the flag of Egypt. My parents are from there."
Me: "So that means that (joking tone) you are African American?"
New kid: "(joking tone) yep.I get that a lot."
Tom: "She is not African American."

Bob: "Obama isn't black. Not like Frederick Douglas" (we had learned earlier that same day that Frederick Douglass's dad was his master.)

Georgia actually counts as a part of Europe, as does Armenia and Azerbaijan, so you are actually wrong in saying Stalin was Asian, no offense.

I was on a skiing-trip with my school and me and two friends were talking about snowboards. I jokingly said that they would be more efficient if you split them in two and made each part long and thin, referring to skis. One of my friends got really confused and didn't understand what I meant, so I explained it very thoroughly. Her response:
"But then it wouldn't be a snowboard."
After a little while she realized that I was talking about skis and we all laughed about it and skipped into the sunset hand in hand.

ploppytheman:
Anything a feminist or other liberal has ever said, well not everything, like please pass the salt, but everything besides that.

You're bashing liberals? On the escapist? Well good luck with that. Let me please redirect you here:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/528.336813-Poll-Conservative-or-Liberal?view_results=1

Just check the poll results.
Note: I couldn't find the forum I was actually looking for, where there was a link to a quiz and it placed you on a graph given your results. I'd say 95% of the people who posted their results were at least moderately liberal.

OT: I was had somebody ask me how much was a gram of something. I gave her several examples using things around us, like how a small single ply napkin was on the order of 3-5 grams.

Turns out she was asking about volume. As in "How much volume is a gram of salt." or something like that. When I attempted to explain that that was entirely relevant on the material, such that a gram of lead would be a very small pellet, and a gram of air takes up several milliliters, she simply shrugged and stopped paying attention.

blackrave:
10*10=10

revjor:
*sitting on a bus in Honolulu when a tourist gets on and asks the bus driver*

"Do you take AMERICAN dollars?"

What is so dumb about this?

He was in Honolulu. He wanted to know whether they used American dollars. IN AMERICA.

Well, while I was on delivery I heard a guy listening to Fox News and...

...I think I'll just stop there.

Way back in my last year of High School there was a girl who didn't know who and what the Prime Minister was. Pretty much the entire class erupted in facepalms. I'm probably thinking of another person when I say this also but the same girl also couldn't locate the UK on a map.

I wonder what that girl is doing now.

Captcha: Sorry Dave. My name's not Dave Captcha. :/

TizzytheTormentor:
"What weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?"
The answer is both weigh the same, but it you answer quickly, you will instinctively say bricks right? Well a friend answered with feathers, we asked him why and he said "well, feather weigh a lot when they are together" What?

The word ton has several meanings. It can be a unit of weight, but it can also be a measure of volume, in which case the bricks are a lot heavier.

Beware that the metric tonne is a measurement of mass, rather than weight. In this case the feathers may have the same mass but because they displace more of the Earths' atmosphere they will weigh less. A blimp can have a mass of one tonne and have a negative weight.

You can also baffle people with "What weighs more, a pound of gold or a pound of feathers?" Because the gold is weighed in troy pounds, which are lighter than the more common avoirdupois pounds that the feathers would be measured in, the feathers will indeed be heavier.

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