Mall Fight Comedy - (take a peek inside!)

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Ren's piano-dropping adventure fun-time is cut short when I pierce him through the throat with a swordfish.

Transformation Jutsu! The swordfish turns into the ninja-shark that is me! I stab sam g in the face with my sword.

I wake up from my customary nap in the supplies closet and notice a brawl going on. "I guess I need weapons." I mutter to myself.

Unfortunately, the only thing in the closet is a dead guy and a mop.

Using my skills as a Spoony Bard, I sneak over to an office supplies store. There, I take a stapler, pens, rulers, and other random items. Hiding them im my sleaves, I exit the store, ready for battle.

I burst through a wall, do some kung-fu bird noises and then make Code Monkey's head explode with a super high-pitched shark-scream! KABLAH!

Kitsune's scream activates my improvised high-pitch triggered bombs, blowing him up.

I wake up, back in my supply closet.

"Hm. Looks like I'm going to be seeing alot of this place."

I Super Spoony Bard sneak back to my dead body, and retrieve my "Weapons". Then I go back to my closet, and hide them there. After franticaly running around the mall for an hour, I have filled my closet with weapons. after selecting a hammer, I Spoony Bard sneak through an air duct. Looking through a vent, I lie in wait for some unlucky soul to walk underneath.

I find a vent and decide, just for the sake of fun, to walk underneath it. However, during my stroll beneath said vent, I happen to notice a flash of steel. I spin around and fire some staples at the mysterious flash.

After waiting for what felt like hours, (Because it was hours.) I finally see somebody. I realize now that I forgot to unscrew the vent. "Screw it.." I whisper. I raise my hammer above my head, and smash down on the vent. The force was a little more than I thought it would be, And I break through the first try.

"SPOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!" I scream as I fall. However, I land slightly to the left of The enemy. Dusting myself off, I notice his weapon. "Staplers? Where have I seen someone usng a stapler as a weapon before..." I ask.
image

"No matter. Time for you to taste the wrath of canuck steel!" I shout as I charge at him with my hammer.

I burst through the ground in a flurry of water.
Then I beat Code Monkey to death with a sea bass.

I burst through the door and see Kitsune.

'We meet again old man. The circle is now complete. The last time we met I was the apprentice, now I am the master.'
'Only a master of evil, Ren.'

I grab a salmon and start an epic fishfight.

I awake in the closet, again.

"Hm... I have been killed by the same person the same way wice in a row. This requires planning. But I'm to impatiant for that, so.... I pick CD!" I grab a stack of CD's from my stash, And sneak behind a box using my Spoony Bardness.

Kitsune and I keep fighting when suddenly, a CD flies in my direction.

I dodge it, and the disc hits Kitsune. I then block a second CD, give Kitsune the killing blow and start looking behind some boxes.

"Artemis..Guide my hand...." I mutter.

I throw my last disk at the person looking for me. It flys over his head, and hits some random guy off in the distance.

"Fucking Moon Chick!" I shout as I start running for my closet.

*Crazy theme music begins to play*
He's a man-shark. He's gonna get ya, gonna eat ya, with a side of chips! Don't forget to bathe in tomato sauce!

I get back up and transform into my 10ft tall man-shark form. I pick up Code Monkey and Ren3004 by the hair and smash them into nearby "constantly running chainsaw" stores, where they are eviscerated.

I come bursting out of the "constantly running chainsaw" store holding eight chainsaws (One in each hand, one between my teeth, one strapped to my right foot, two in the crooks of my elbows and one under my knee) and sprint at the shark thing.

(And this song is playing)

*Lightning flashes across the background*
I twirl my oversized sword above my head with one hand and grab a nearby shotgun with the other.
"This.... IS MY BOOMSTICK!"
I fire a volley of explosive shells at Sam G, then splat whatevers left into the ground with a highly improbably judo maneuver.

Takes a Massive cake from the bakery and drops claymorez into. He practically drowns in cake
"Whos laughing now biatch?" Zepren asks

"AND THIS IS MY GOOMBABRICK!"
Goombas burst from the cake, sacrificing themselves on the claymores.
"And now,for the ultimate meme. DR.FOXIGONAPUS! BLAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
I blast Zepren with a gigantic energy blast from my mouth, reducing him to mere atoms.

I respawn in the outdoor related section and instantly drop a shed onto kitsunethefox who evidently does not understand the rules of the game and should read them
At this moment in time, this is justified
"Noob" spits Zepren from the balcony above as he surveys the crushed corpse of Kit

(Whoops. Forgot that for a moment.)
Kitsune repsawns at the front door with a large hammer.
He speaks into the hammer.
"Bring the rain."
Water gushes out of a burst pipe by Zepren at incredible pressure, cutting him in half.

Since I have no idea what happened to me, I have a heart attack and die. Then, I respawn in the electronics store, and pick up a mouse.

I use it as a flail to kill anyone who approaches.

I electrocute the stream of water coming from Bryghtside's super-soaker with a toaster, causing it to asplode.
"You know what they say: All toasters toast Bryghtside!" I yell and throw the toaster at him, knocking him out. And then I set him on fire, 'cause it's fun.

I draw my swords which corruscate with a strange golden glow.
I then leap off of a banister, and cut SirBryghtside into pieces with a slash in the shape of an X.
Then I do the Running Man dance.

Kistune's dance is suddenly interrupted when a mouse hits him in the head. He looks at me, stumbles around for a bit, and finally falls into the fountain.

I run into the liquid nitrogen store, grab a bottle and throw it into the fountain, flash-freezing all the water as well as sealing the hapless Kitsune in ice. Then I turn to Ren and... I dunno, punch him, or something?

Sam's punch makes me unconscious for days. When I wake up, Sir is standing over me, ready to stab me with a frozen haddock.

I grab a conveniently placed live wire and electrocute him.

Hey, that's not fair!

I throw Sir away from me, sending him flying into a bookshelf.

The bookshelf transforms back into me, and I break Bryghtside's neck. Then I pull his fingers off and start throwing them at Ren.

I hold up a computer screen to protect myself from the thrown fingers.

I grab a baseball bat and hit Agumon in the head until it faints.

Come to think of it, why didn't they ever do this in the shows?

FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU-

I start running away, leading WarGreymon to the fountain.
In case your wondering why I don't counteract with another Digimon, it's because I don't remember any.

After a long, almost indefinite hiatus, I respawn in the Gamestop up on the 2nd floor.

"Ahhh...It's good to be back." I say, a hint of satifaction in my voice.

I walk out to the store and jump down to ground level, landing admidst all the action.

"Hey guys, what's up?" I ask.

Pm0ney nearly gets trampled by WarGreymon. The beast crushes the fountain, flooding the mall.

I spawn on a service walkway overlooking the mall.
Looking around I see a comveniently placed sniper rifle.
I pick it up and start looking for targets.

Knife starts shooting at WarGreymon with his airsoft rifle.
Looking around for something I can use, I notice a bottle of liquid nitrogen.

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