Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

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Granted. You're surrounded by ravenous infants.

I wish I was Mega Man.

Granted. You are killed off on the first level.

I wish I had an orbital death cannon..

Granted. Space taxes are a nightmare!

I wish I had more pillz! D:

Granted, Unfortunately the controls are in orbit too, You can't reach them.

I wish I had control over the Orbital Friendship Cannon...

Granted. It isn't working.

I wish it was March 6.

Granted. Due to a sudden blizzard, you're trapped in your house with no internet.

I wish I had a pet lion.

Granted. A squad of police breaks down your door waving a copy of the US Captive Wild Animal Safety Act in your face.
You flee to your lion cage... where, predictably, you are eaten.

I wish I was Omnipotent and Omniscient.

Granted but then someone turned off god mode and you suffocated in space.

I wish for loopholes!

Granted. You now own a roller coaster with holes in it. This makes it break on the first test run.

I wish for no more college, ever.

Granted. Have fun working at McDonald's.

I wish for less stress.

Granted. You become addicted to heroin.

I wish I legally owned a tamed lion.

Granted but it eated you.

I wish the music I was listening to wouldn't stop being amazing.

Granted but now you have amnesia... FOREVER!!

I wish I had a ordinary ham on the pieces of regular bread, with nothing else

Granted. Your sandvich disintegrates as you try to pick it up.

I wish I had a non-disintegrating sandvich.

Granted but it had all the other options that mine could have had.

I wish for very mild super powers.

Granted, they're useless.

I wish for a pet monkey.

Granted. It throws poo at your redneck neighbor. He fires his shotgun back at you, resulting in chronic pain for the rest of your life.

I wish I could be sure I would pass this class.

Granted, you pass by it in the hallway, and are unable to enter.

I wish I could meet Fatboy Slim.

Granted but it's at his funeral.

I wish for George Lucas to make more Star Wars edits.

Granted, he decides that Star Wars was a giant mistake, leaching intelligent people from solving the world's problems, getting laid and otherwise improving the gene pool.
His last edit is to remove Star Wars entirely, he destroys all copies of it.
An aspiring super-villian, who would other wise be sucked into a star wars obsession, realizes that he's been wasting his time and gets to work taking over the world.
You spend the rest of your life as his slave.

I wish for more wishes.

Granted, the amount of wishes crush you before you make another wish.

I wish to live in the world of the Elder Scrolls.

Granted. You are a Falmer at the bottom rungs of their society.

I wish to live in the world of Final Fantasy XII (Ivalice).

Granted, but you are never played with again.

I wish for popcorn.

Granted, it tastes like piss.

I wish for good popcorn.

Granted, but it's so good that you can never leave the cinema.

I wish for a tame, non-lethal dinosaur.

Granted. The non-lethal dinosaur gets eaten by a lethal dinosaur.

I wish for to live in London.

Granted, but you are catapulted back to August 2011, and your house is in Tottenham.

I wish I lived in New York City.

Granted. I don't even have to try to ruin this one, though, because living in New York is expensive and the city is disgusting, anyway.

I wish I had my own pet Missingno! What could possibly go wrong!? ^_^

Granted, but given that Missingno is actually yourself stored in the Dex, he murders you and becomes "you".

I wish I had a perfectly functioning time machine. Come on, be creative :P

Granted, but are stepped on by a Stegosaurus loudly pronouncing "I am a Steg-o-saurus!"

I wish for a clear night tonight.

Granted, it's clearly going to snow tonight.

I wish for free pizzas for a year.

YEY!! I LOVE SNOW!!

Granted, but they're fished out of a skip!

I wish for a ZP episode

Granted, Yahtzee states his opinion on a certain TheEmoSpeeds666. This can't end well for the poor bastard.

I wish for Europe to get out of the Ice Age it is currently experiencing.

Granted. Now it';s boilinghot( as in you are actually boiling.)

I wish for cowardly ways.

Granted. Welcome to the show Mr. Noel Coward!

I wish for Robert632's rainbow kitty

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