Welcome to Sburb! (Dead and Over)

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>Dirk: Explain information needs

"Though I can't speak in the long term, what I need right now is everything you've got on a certain white-suited Derse agent; dressed up like some mobster out of the '30s, crazy like a vampire in a blood bank. Name, history, weaknesses, anything you can give me.

>Future Dirk: Go to Xavier

You are fairly certain Rich is probably still in a sour mood at you, for being so INSPIRINGLY OPTIMISTIC, so you opt to go find Xavier instead. He porbably could use some help.

>Xavier: Notice
Notice what? You have to be specific Mr. Suggestion Voice, what should I n-Sweet buttery fuck, monster in the water!

>Xavier: Prepare for the strife
You draw both of your knives.

>Chas: Attack shop.

You've got a better idea.

>Chas: Attack shop...with money. Assail wares with buying prospects.

You take out a few BOONBUCKS to show your status as the boss in town, see, and then you forcefully-but-fairly ask the shopkeeper what the haps is.

You reflect on your current position and note that your mental stability is at an all-time low.

>CJ: Demand update

No, absolutely not. That would be rude. Instead you demand that everyone be subjected to old-timey western music while they wait for an update.

Very nice.

>Waffles: Strike up a conversation
Has anyone else thought about having a Alpha Session, I already have my character in mind.


You nod to the SPRITE's question.Yes,I am. You give the SPIRTE a little bow before replying Greg Markos,Knight of Space,at your service.

You give the area you are in a quick look before asking Is Rich around by any chance?

GAH! Busybusybusybusybusybusybusybusy!

Well, I'm kind of on my way out the door to a funeral as I type, and will then be meeting with a family friend to discuss a programming project for a class that's been hanging over my head for months now, and then will likely spend the rest of the day being lectured about how I'm the scum of humanity by my ever-loving mother.

So, update sometime tonight? In less then 12 hours, I guess?

Ouch, sorry to hear about all of that. And I mean that in a way more sincerely than my text makes it sound. Take your time, I was just making a joke about being impatient.

As for an alpha session, I'd be up for it. Though I'd essentially be playing the same character, just in girl form, and with a love for Dungeons and Dragons and other tabletop games instead of anime and action cliches.

>MetroidNut: Sympathize with GM.

Take all the time you need.

As for an alpha session, I concur with Nitemare; it's probably a bit early to be thinking of that, heh. Still, it would be fun.

Alpha session? Am I missing something?

We're just entertaining the idea while we wait, no commitment.

>Rich: Your YOUTH LEAP carries you through the Third Gate, and into a new Land. I think it's Xavier's? Need to check that... Yep.

You find yourself landing on top of Xavier's house, in the Land of Clouds and Feathers. As the name implies, you find yourself surrounded by a lot of Clouds. And birds. Mostly parrots.


>Dirk: Oh, that delinquent? Yeah, Jack knows all about him. LR's file has passed through the Regent's office more than once. In fact, there's probably still a copy lying around somewhere...

Of course, you're going to have to do Jack a little favor before he can give you that. There are a couple decorations he wants for his office...


>Future Dirk: Assuming that you keep your traveling adventures to a minimum, you probably arrive on the Land of Sea and Crystal just as Xavier is beginning to battle the SUBAQUATIC HYDRA. Which I haven't really described yet. Should probably get on that.


>Xavier: As you draw your blades, two large heads burst from the water, each perched on a long, scale-covered neck. Said heads boast several large curved spikes running down their backs, and mouths full of razor-sharp fangs.

The head on the right opens its mouth slightly, allowing a forked tongue to flick in your direction. The other head merely growls at you.


>Chas: Your attempts to attack the shop deal no damage. It seems that BOONBUCKS do not make effective weapons. You do, however, manage to start a small riot in the SHOP as the GECKOS attempt to snatch up your discarded currency.

The GECKO running the shop does show you his wares, however, after quelling the squabble. So there's that.






>GM: Express confusion about Alpha Session. Really? I mean, sure, of course you guys could cause a Scratch if you wanted to; this being Homestuck, that's always an option.

Um... okay then. Go for it if you want to, I guess.

>Dirk: Inquire on these decorations

You do so, though you're a little worried by what he means. You have a very bad feeling that Jack is not particularly fun to work for. You're probably just crazy, though. There's almost certainly no precedent of Jack sending a Sburb player on a suicide mission, betraying him, or anything like that.

>Future Dirk: Watch Xavier

You happen to be waiting from a high point nearby, though you don't interfere just yet. The whole point of your mission right now is making the others stronger, and that just won't happen unless they learn to beat their foes on their own.

>CJ: Explain Alpha Session Shenanigans

I can't speak for the others, but I was just talking about it hypothetically. While it would certainly be interesting, I don't think it's in anyone's plans right now.

>Rich: Examine surroundings.

The clouds are quite pretty, though you're already starting to miss the distorted conflagrations of the Land of Glass and Flame.

The birds are a bit odd. Less odd than CLOCKWORK CROCODILES, but still odd.

>Rich: Lead Sheriff Quickdraw in exploring the Land of Clouds and Feathers.

Lacking any better idea, and a bit disoriented owing to your sudden departure from your own land, you PSCHOOOO into the skies, looking for points of interest.

Yeah, that's not going to happen.

>Xavier: Attack the necks
It seems like the only unprotected area.

You fly up and deliver a PACKAGE OF STABS to there necks.

>Chas: Buy those last three things.

Sure. Those sound intimidating enough.

>Dirk: Jack deploys his WAR CHEST, a large chest full of various pointy, bloodstained objects and a couple LICORICE SCOTTY DOGS. After rummaging through his stuff for a moment, he hands you three items: Two slips of paper, each bearing a white crown (One a king's, the other a queen's) and a black REGISWORD. Yeah, you know where this is going.

You want LR's file? Bring Jack the crowns of the White King and Queen, and he'll be more then happy to oblige you. Now get off his roof; he's still got some scowling to do.


>Rich: Points of interest, huh? Let's see here... you spot what seems to be a GIANT BIRDHOUSE, with tons of PARROTS flocking about it. Probably a SHOP or something interesting in there.

Various Underlings can be seen running amok on the clouds all around you, getting up to all kinds of mischief. Some are chasing after PARROTS, but you can also see several groups gathering around several STRANGE MACHINES. Said machines seem to be in the process of being assembled.

Far to the West, on the edge of the horizon, you can make out a thin black line...


>Xavier: It seems that the creatures' backs are still hidden underneath the water. It's kind of hard to attack something you can't see.

You do, however, manage to DELIVER YOUR STABS into their necks. Quite effectively, in fact. One of the creatures begins to bleed heavily, and the other's head topples off its shredded neck, falling into the water below. Well, that was certainly easy, and WHY IS THE HEAD GROWING BACK? TWICE?


>Chas: You purchase the FRAYMOTIFS for a grand total of 125 BOONBUCKS. The GECKO happily accepts your money, and you feel kind of tingly. In a good way.

>Dirk: Ask to borrow a ship

If Jack wants those crowns, you're gonna have to get to Prospit somehow, right?

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit-"
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit-Oh wait, I'm supposed to be narrating.

Needless to say, this might be a bit of a predicament for you.

Emphasis on might. You're still the fucking MAGE OF LIFE, leader of the X-GANG, and LEAD TACTICIAN/SPY of the SBURB-SLAYERS.

>Xavier: Make a plan
Well, from what you gather, it'll keep on growing heads ad nauesum, but if you attack the underbelly, it might kill it.

Emphasis on might.

>Xavier: Taunt
You flip off Hydra, backing up from the lake to lead them out.

>Chas: Journey forth. Amass slaughterpoints.

With three new FRAYMOTIFS in hand, your power has increased tremendously, and you leave the first village with only a mild riot on their hands. It's time to go on. Time to reconnect with an old friend.

Thus begins the longest journey.

On the road...


>Rich: Peruse fine wares of SHOP; examine STRANGE MACHINES.

No lolly-gagging this time around, mister! Just a quick shopping session and a minor bit of curiosity-satisfying and you'll be on your way.

I shouldn't make post 12:00 at night, running on fumes, standing agog at updates, then try to comment on said updates.

>Dirk: Yeah, not gonna happen kid. You want off this godforsaken rock, you figure a way off yourself.

Also, can't you fly or something? The other kid could do that.


>Xavier: Your TAUNTS fail to attract the HYDRA'S attention. Instead of chasing after you, the injured head attempts to gnaw off its own neck, and the two new ones proceed to help.

Yeah, it doesn't look like it plans on chasing you up onto land.


>Chas: Instead of making it to the Second Village, you are unexpectedly detained by a MYSTERIOUS MALFUNCTION with your JETPACK. Said malfunction is very mysterious in nature, and likely cannot be fixed by any tools or techniques you have on hand.

You get the very strange and oddly specific feeling that the malfunction will cease if you admit to a mistake made by yourself in another plane of existence. A very recent plane of existence. Muhahahahahahaha.


>Rich: You check out the SHOP's inventory. It's pretty bland, for the most part. Nothing really new or interesting.


After making whatever purchases you make, you head out to the closest of the STRANGE MACHINES. You land on the cloud said machine is perched upon, and find yourself facing a handful of IMPS and a couple OGRES.

Sheriff Quickdraw takes to the skies, and begins providing covering fire. Half his shoots are way off, most of the rest are near-misses, but a very small percentage hit a couple IMPS. So, better then nothing, I suppose.


Uh... forum bump?

>Chas: Attempt to mend metaphysical differences with godly being.

>Dirk: Bingo

Not exactly the answer you were hoping for, but it's a start. Jack may not have known it, but he just slipped up a nice little bit of information. Specifically, that he's met with another of the kids already. While it may not seem like much, it's a big start on getting a leg up on this wily bastard. Your DETECTIVE GAMBIT rises to new heights as you walk away. You then remember you can fly, and soar up to the highest point of DERSE. You suppose if you're going to FLY TO PROSPIT yourself, you should probably figure out where it is.

>Godly Being: Refuse to have your feelings of rage and hate and rage and loathing and rage and annoyance and rage assuaged. Nah, it's all good man. It's all good.

>Chas: Continue on JETPACKy path to Second Village, expect sprawling noir metropolis with a small army under the command of ex-private eye and former partner with a heart of gold and nothing to lose


You direct the attack towards one of the OGRES and use your JETPACK to weave inbetween said OGRES, hoping to induce friendly fire and/or force your foes to stop attacking in order to avoid it.

>Dirk: Well, you're right about one thing. Jack did let slip that he's met at least one of your friends. The question is, was said information leak intentional, or a mere slip of the tongue? You're playing a dangerous game, trying to outwit Jack Noir. That guy's got so many irons. He's got all the irons, in fact. And guess where the irons are?

Anyway, you fly up really, really high. As it turns out, there is not a whole lot of stuff around Derse; other than the moon, there's only darkness, grimdarkness, and a far-off belt of what looks like meteors or something. Although, now that you look closer, you can see a few glimmers of light shining from the meteors.


>Chas: Your expectations are somewhat misplaced. You left Dash Overcoat at the Second Village no longer than a day ago; it's not like he's had time to turn the entire place into some Film-Noir landscape. In fact, as you land in the village square, Dash isn't anywhere to be seen; there's just another bunch of GECKOS. Nuts.


>Rich: Yeah, you get to meet GS now.

Your STRETTO BURST is powerful enough to wipe out both OGRES, and causes havoc among the remaining IMPS. Disorganized and panicking, they scatter, leaving the STRANGE MACHINE unprotected.

Well, not quite unprotected. You can see a black-carapaced figure fiddling with the inner workings of the large device, muttering something under his breath.

>Xavier: Lightbulb
That's it! It spawns heads from the neck! If you attack the heads, it can't spawn again!


>Rich: Cautiously investigate.

You decide to quietly sneak up on him, hoping to observe him for as long as possible without being detected.

You realize your very loud JETPACK is turned on.

>Rich: Land, swear very quietly under breath, continue trying to spy.

>Xavier: Now we're cooking with petrol! Your various delivery-based attacks deal a large amount of damage to the HYDRA'S current three heads. There we go, that oughta take care of things...

Huh. The heads are still growing back. That looks like, uh... six heads now? Yeah, six heads.



>Rich: You manage to sneak up on the strange Dersite, and are soon close enough to actually observe him. He seems to be wearing a navy jumpsuit, a pair of black gloves, and has a large MONKEY WRENCH strapped to his back.

"Life is fun, life is fun, life is fun, life is fun, life is fun, life is fun, life is fun, life is fun, life is fun, life is... GRAGH! You made me lose count!

Yeah, it would seem that your sneaking has failed to escape his senses. Turning away from the machine, the figure glares at you.

"Well? What the hell do you want?"



>Greg:Explore this new Land you find yourself in

You thank the SPRITE once again for all his help then start to head northward.

Granted you have no idea where you are going,which on reflection might have been a good question to ask the SPRITE,but you figure you might as well do a bit of exploring.Who knows what you might stumble upon?

You do cheat alittle and use your Spacey Powers to jump you ahead a few feet every now and then.Might as well get to practicing what Spacey stuff you have available while you can.You never know when you might get the chance later.

>Dirk: Think

You think. You think, and you think, and you think think think until your little thinker is all thunk out. But you can't think of a way to reach Prospit. You suspect that Prospit is somewhere in that far-off meteor belt. By which you mean you're entirely certain it is, specifically one of the flecks of light. You pride yourself on remaining one step ahead of everything with your thorough knowledge of tropes, cliches, and plot devices. And since this is a game, you reason there's plenty to be found and exploited here.

Your current thought pertains to the extremely disturbing voices currently attempting to ear-rape you. As dark as they may appear to be, they're probably meant as some sort of trickster mentor. And as you, personally, are well aware, a good (by which you mean particularly cunning) mentor such as they would give you a few freebie bits of advice before they started demanding souls and shit.

So you whisper to yourself a question. "How can I reach Prospit from here?"

You don't worry whether or not they can hear you. They can definitely hear you. Dark eldritch beings and all.

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