Adventures at McBurger Planet: An Image-Based CYOA (On Hiatus Until We're Not)

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Lil_Rimmy:
Start screaming.

You can see the colour red!

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Why panic? You are no stranger to the crimson hues.

Mr.Ivebeenframed:
Water and electronics?

Splash the ever living hell out of the place.

Captainguy42:
Proclaim an emergency! Taco Universe Pirates have infected their consoles, they must be washed down!

SkyeNeko:
youre the water jug collecting guy. ask if they need more water.

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You're pretty sure that you've already established that Allen is an empty water jug. It's extraordinarily difficult to employ dihydrogen-monoxide based sabotage without the dihydrogen-monoxide.

Still, having the container gives you an idea for an alibi.

"Water guy! I'm here to change your water cooler!"

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Odd, you would have thought that this perfectly reasonable cover story would have provoked some superfluous attack. Or maybe some sort of reaction at the very least.

Evil Smurf:
remind everyone of the people there that you have a poker night tonight and that they should all come along in a musical voice

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Maybe you need to lure them out of the room with your excellent improvisational skills?

"Hey guys, anyone in for a game of Texas Hold 'em? I've got about $500 to burn and my dose of sodium pentathol has just about worn off. I think."

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It seems as though these guys cannot be enticed with the prospect of free money. Perhaps they don't have the heart to take your money in spades. Maybe they would rather just club away at their computers like they were being paid in diamonds.

Still, you don't like that these guys are playing their cards close to their chest or that you can't read their poker face (mum mum mum mah).

Berenzen:
Brandish Allen, screaming at people incoherently

TheDarkEricDraven:
Wack the nearest computer operator with Allen and look at the computer to see if you can tell where you are.

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You opt out of shouting incomprehensibly since it seems like you're in a room full of deaf people. Better to save your vocal chords for some sweet burns down the line.

Still, you wield your companion like a champion.

Now you will finally be able to see what fantastic work has fully absorbed the attention of these puffy Inuits. What exciting secret could they possibly be working on so diligently?

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...

Numbers? Really?

These guys really need to get out more.

What do you do now?

0.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

its the only answer.

the answer is Pi
(3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146951941511609).

Why you ask, it is delicious

I have no idea.

Ask Allen.

Lil_Rimmy:
Ask Allen.

Allen loves pi

Press ctrl-alt-del.

Enter Exit. From your geohashing hobby, you know that many of these co-ordinates are major population centers.

Should I post the locations in a spoiler?

Yes.

Hit 4 for fun and profit.

Stuff the computer into Allen. If that doesn't work, stuff yourself into Allen.

Hit a random string of keys.

Berenzen:
From your geohashing hobby, you know that many of these co-ordinates are major population centers.

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You can tell that the numbers on this screen are coordinates of some flavor. However, you have no way of knowing what locations they correlate to. Even if you were skilled in geohashing (which you are not), there would be no way for you to recognize where on a map they were pointing at off the top of your head.

Still, they seem important. If only there were some way for you to keep them for later.

RaNDM G:
Hit 4 for fun and profit.

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Of course you could do this too.

Four seems like a good place to start. No better place to begin a search than with the first even non-prime integer.

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What's all this crap?

TheDarkEricDraven:
Hit a random string of keys.

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If you learned one thing during your time with your former lover, it's that when confronted with a confusing computer conundrum the first step is to simply attack the problem from a logical angle and see what works.

Unfortunately, applying logic to your attacks has never quite been your strong suit.

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What? Nothing spectacular happened?

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This is why you can't stand computers. They never do what you want them to when you put in the wrong command.

Wait...wasn't there a command that always seemed to swoop in to save the day on your old computer. What was it again...?

kiri2tsubasa:
Press ctrl-alt-del.

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That's the one.

You hit Ctrl-alt-del in the most badass way you can possibly muster. If this were some sort of awesome anime you are almost positive there would be some sort of swelling orchestral score and ominously chanting Latin chorus coloring the background.

If only...

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Huh?

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Now what the hell is that supposed to mean?

You're getting really tired of all this inane computer crap. It's all pointless and probably has no real bearing on anything that would ever impact the fate of the world in any possible way.

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OH GEEZ LOUD NOISES AND FLASHING LIGHTS!

You suddenly have a sneaking suspicion that you were somewhat involved in this surprising new situation.

Oh look, someone new is entering.

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Who the hell is this douche bag?

What do you do now?

go inside the computer, like in tron

Take stock of your inventory, their has to be something you can use.

Refrain from using Death Note references in the near future. This is a family show.

Casually sit down and begin to thrash face around on keyboard.

...Windows user?

Type "*As many swear words as possible* Macs!... and Linux!"

time to practice your air guitar, use the keyboard to do so

But then it's not air gutiar.... its key board gutiar...

Quickly retrieve keyboard guitar.

RaNDM G:
Quickly retrieve keyboard guitar.

Yea! keytar!

proclaim you always liked Apple products better then Microsoft and pray that it works.

Run for it brother!

ughh update plz :)

Turn on Yakkity Sax and run for it.

Meanwhile...

Evil Smurf:
ughh update plz :)

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...

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*GASP*

Sorry about the infrequency of updates lately guys. School has sort of gotten the better of both of us as of late. We've been working through our respective mounds of homework as diligently as we can and unfortunately more entertaining things sometimes fall by the wayside.

Don't worry though. We're still making this thing. It just might not be as fast as we would like it. :/

Back to the story...

kiri2tsubasa:
Take stock of your inventory, their has to be something you can use.

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You take a quick moment to go over your belongings. Perhaps something will be relevant in the near future?

One (1) Shuriken

Two (2) Packets of the Taco Universe Secret Supernova Sauce (TM)

One (1) Identification Card

One (1) Piece of Double Bubble Toil and Trouble Flavored Chewy Stick Brand Bubble Gum(TM)

One (1) Ice Pick

One (1) November 2012 Issue of The National Enquicerer

One (1) Surprisingly Portable Katana

You place these items back in your surprisingly spacious pockets for when the moment is right.

Alario_Albus:
Casually sit down and begin to thrash face around on keyboard.

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You hurl your head heftily against the desk in an attempt to...do something.

Wait, what exactly was it you were trying to accomplish with this foolhardy action? How could this have possibly seemed like a good idea given the current circumstances?

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This imposing man is (understandably) curious about your outlandish behavior.

RaNDM G:
Quickly retrieve keyboard guitar.

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Well, you've got his attention. Might as well put on a show.

You tear the keyboard out of the computer and proceed to tear up the keyboard with the most wicked fake keytar solo ever to grace the face of the planet. You even time your nimble finger picks with the blaring alarm in order to deliver the full deafening concert experience. Surely this impressive display will get you far!

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Or not.

The captain proves the merits of keeping one's pimp hand strong and proceeds to tear across your countenance with the most wicked real bitch-slap ever to grace the face of your face. He even times his nebulous slap with the blaring alarm in order to deliver the full deafening grenade experience. Surely this impressive display will knock you far!

You might not want to provoke an encore of that particular performance.

Berenzen:
Turn on Yakkity Sax and run for it.

Captainguy42:
Run for it brother!

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If you had brought your iPod, you would have been able to put on some riveting chase music. Then again, if you had brought your iPod then the computer system might not have rebelled against you in such an elitist manner.

No matter. You high tail it back to the elevator.

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Your hand collides clumsily with the keypad. The elevator door closes behind.

You know not where you go next. You just know that you are safe for the moment.


Lil_Rimmy:
Meanwhile...

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Location: ???
Date: ???
Time: ???

Here sits a man in the dark. In about half an hour, he will be receiving some distressing news about a recent hiccup in his plans. This news will be bittersweet to the man. On one hand, this severe setback will cause him to have to delay his immediate acquisition of his ultimate goal.

On the other, a chain of events will have been set into motion that he believes will fully guarantee his victory if he plays his cards carefully and deals with some specific obstacles with extreme prejudice.

Of course, revealing anything more specific to you now would be terrible. Why deprive this sinister-looking stranger the opportunity to engage in a thrilling monologue if he so chooses?

No. For now we will stick with our hero and his misadventures that in no way relate to this aside.


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Wow, that guy hit you hard. You can feel a thin trickle of blood running from your likely-broken nose.

The reality of the situation hits you. If that guy catches you, you're probably going to die a horrible tourtury death. And this time, there will be narrative reasoning for your expiration.

In other words, shit is starting to get startlingly real.

And as the doors of the elevator open...

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...your hypothesis is unfortunately proven.

What do you do now?

Number 4 of course! Every thing is in fours! You have four limbs! Four + 1 rockets! Four fingers! Four fractures in your nose! Four tissues filled with blood! Four thrusters for each rocket! Four... erm... ... imaginary girlfriends!

Meanwhile at the Hall of Justice...No At McBurger Planet.

Start chewing your last stick of gum, to ensure your gum stores will be depleted when the critical moment arrives.

put on a Russian ascent, therefor fitting in

Don ninja disguise. It worked before.

Hide behind a nuke.

shit self in abject terror Now more then ever, WHAT WOULD DUKE NUKEM DO?

@Link_to_Future and @Zero_ctrl where do you go to uni?

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