"Blame Xena. That drink is about 70% alcohol. It'll knock you on your ass faster then you can count the sips. Don't drink too much though, or your liver'll explode."
"You got actual ale and mead instead of what is almost rubbing alcohol"
"Nope. That's all we got."
"Damnit and all I can find is this canned bubbly stuff around here along with this stuff made from lemon monster and regular old water... Possibly taken from a water monster"
The sheriff pulled out a flask of whiskey. "Mew, just shut up eh? Take the drink and go."
Cohen chugs down the whiskey and hands the flask back to him "Thanks, Where did you get that anyway. I didn't see any of the stores have any alcohol"
"The eye isn't for show. Lost it in a rather traumatic experience. The alcohol helps keep it away sometimes. I know some guys in the mountains who brew it, and instead of arresting them for it I get a bit of it." He looks embarrassed and ashamed.
"That's a really good deal. I've had way to many times when I took over a place for a couple years and some of my favorite people there joined the war front
"I suppose. Not proud of it though. Those guys should go to jail."
Monty looked him over. "Maybe you should take a break from the warfront then buddy. When's the last time you were able to relax?
"Well a couple days ago over in the Counterweight continent. I'm emperor over there"
"Not you. Poster boy for PTSD over there. Sounds like you've gone through some shit. Maybe you should take a few days off, get to see the world more freely.
The sheriff nodded. "I can't though. Every time I turn around, we've got some new group trying to murder everybody. I also seem to be the only competent guy in the entire continent. It's getting ridiculous."
"Get some other adventurer to do it. There were plenty fire hose turtles and giant rats along with ones that shoot lighting. I'm sure they can take care of it"
"That's the thing. Every time something bad happens, everyone seems like they lose 50 IQ points. Its ridiculous, but only I seem to not get retarded. I literally can't leave, or else everyone starts dying. He then stood up. "I should really check to make sure some terrorist organization hasn't sprung up since yesterday."
"Oh don't worry about terrorists also Why don't you get an apprentice"
"I did. I've got one in one of the other regions. But that's one person, and she isn't as good as I am as being a one man wrecking crew on the enemy. And how the hell do you know there aren't more terrorists out there?!"
"There's those picture boxes over in those homes that tell me they aren't. There's also that newspaper over there that says it too"
The sheriff sat back, breathing a bit heavily. "Okay then. Surely nothing bad will happen while I'm gone right? They can't. I don't want anyone else to die. Oh mew, I think I'm having a panic attack. Monty uncomfortably sits closer to the sheriff and starts patting his back.
"You can't be everywhere and save every one you know. Just like how I couldn't have stopped the fire in Ankh-Morpork when I was in Klatch"
"But what if I'm walking by and see someone getting hurt? I've got to stop that! And there's a difference between not being able to be everywhere and screwing off to the far away corners of the galaxy, where I'm not helping anyone.
"How about you teach the people to handle all of this trouble that is happening every day apparently"
"I'VE TRIED THAT he screeches, on the end of his rope and looking a little crazy. "I've tried everything! But they all freeze up! they lose their minds! I can't tell you why, but it seems like even the terrorists freeze up when they do something! Everyone just sits their, unsure of what to do. I've seen lanes of traffic sit there for days because a bomb went off in the city they were driving to! These people are insane!
"Well let me be than. I'm sure an adventurer will come along and fix it."
the sheriff deflated. "I think... I think I am the adventurer. I shouldn't have to be, but I always show up and do my best to save everyone." he rubbed his eyes, and pulled himself up. "I'm sorry about this. Really tired. I'm off to bed. See you in the morning." He then walks to the dorms, before collapsing on a bed and sleeps.
Monty rubs his head, feeling tired. "Okay, I'm tired. I think that guy may need some serious therapeutic work. he then follows him and falls asleep in a different bed.
OoC: I'm out, need to get up early. Have a good day! or night. Not sure what it is for you.
OoC: Anyone up and about?
OOC: @FPS Nah I'm typing in my sleep
A portal opens up and a scrawny man with a red star robe and hat with the same pattern and the word wizzard on it in sequins.He had brown hair and the beard of a person not very good at growing beards "Where am I! Who are you guys! Am I still Alive!" He said frantically before a chest with legs popped up above him and knocked him out "There you are Rincewind I was wondering what happened after the Counterweight continent"
ALex pulled his helmet on and stuck his head into the room. "Oh dammit, why are there more of you? Bad enough with the loud shouting warrior about."
The legged box sat in a corner "He's a wizard. Didn't you read his hat" Cohen went over and poked him in the ribs with his sword "Ah I give up! Oh it's you. Wait a second it's you." Rincewind said with a groan
Alex glanced about, noticing the box with legs. "Anyone gonna... Establish what the hell that thing is? Also, good for you for knowing to not want to see the loud barbarian." his natural voice is very low key and quiet.
"I'm fine with barbarians. It's meeting them outside a city that is the problem. And that box is Luggage. Don't try to get anything from him. He bites"
Alex stared at it again. "Oh. He taps his leg idly, tapping a beat of simple notes kept together. "I guess that's cool. I assume from your reaction that you've met Cohen before?"
"Yes twice actually"
"And both times we saved a region from doom. Aren't you happy you stopped that"
"No I'm not. My life has been horrible thing after the other after that. And I don't even want to mention Twoflower"
"Huh. So did Cohen pull you here, or was their another reason you showed up?"
"The gods hate me that's why... Uh I didn't really mean that gods. Your cool guys" He said nervously after remembering the story about that one golem
"Wait, have you met your gods? The way you put it, there's a whole pantheon of them."