Mall Fight: The Earthventure - Epilogue: Here Comes The Flood [CLOSED, ENDED]

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"WE COULD START AN AGRICULTURE BUSINESS! IF ANY OF THE ZOMBIES DROP DEAD ON THE JOB, THEY'LL BECOME FERTILIZER!"

"I'm pretty sure employing illegal immigrants and using them as fertiliser when they inevitably re-die would annoy the cops a bit."

"Corpses don't have rights Trilby, don't be a dipshit."

Saltarius:
"You and your left hand are already pretty acqauinted, actually. OOOH, FUCKIN' NAILED IT!"

I hold up my hand for a high-five to Trilby.

"Walls give better insults than you do, I have to say."

I high-five Marcel.
"Also, I'm an illegal immigrant."

"Uh, cool? Dude, no one even cares. We can kill the cops and make them into more workers."

"Well, you said you didn't want to do anything illegal."

"Fuck legality, I want money."

"Well then, we could open an escort service."

"SNAFU Two. I am not endorsing necrophilia."

"I say 'escort service' and your first thought is 'necrophilia'? That's fucked up, Salt."

"ESCORT SERVICES ARE GLORIFIED SEX SOLICITATIONS!"

"You act like that's not common knowledge."

"THEN DON'T GET OFFENDED WHEN I OBJECT TO THE IDEA OF NECROPHILIA!"

"I wasn't being offended by you objecting to the idea of necrophilia. I was confused because WHY DID YOU BRING UP NECROPHILIA? Unlike you, I consider people off-limits for anything once they're six feet under."

"Then you're really gonna suggest the two of us are the escorts?"

"Duh."

"...Why? Give me a legit list of pros to that."

"Money. Access to people's homes so we can rob them."

Green decides to go and tell the Priest-y dude that the house is clean now.

Greenstarfanatic:
Green decides to go and tell the Priest-y dude that the house is clean now.

"... żEn serio?" He runs down the street to check out the house, and comes out giddy like a kid in a candy store on Free Candy Day. Except without the added burden of diabetes looming over his joy.

"Es cierto! El robot ha matado a la bestia! Nuestro Salvador ha venido!" The hordes of people in the area begin cheering you. In Spanish, obviously.

I knock on the door again.
"Anybody home?"

I look for a quest on the quest board.

"Uh....yaaaaaaay! Go me! Yo es fantastico! Yaaaay!"

Once the cheering has calmed down, maybe ask if it would be possible to get a reward for such a feat? As politely as possible, of course.

"...True, and we can actually fuck the hot clients. Okay. Deal. We become escorts. But I only want the female clients."

"Okay. What should we call our new business?"

"Uh...Hot as Hel Escorts."

"Sounds good."
I take out my phone and- oh yeah.
"Salt, do you have a phone?"

"...I...I threw it out the window to make Zombie stop calling me."

"God dammit."

"U-Uhm, can't you just take our calls?"

"There was an incident with my phone involving cabbage and me shooting my phone."

"...We should use Green. Let's just get Green in on this. Or we could take e-mails."

"Emails could work."
I take out one of my iMacs.
"You got a way to power this thing?"

"Uh, we could go back to the Mall and find a charger."

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