Zero Punctuation: The Second Annual E3 Hype Massacre

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That people are shit bit made me think of that slipknot song

A fun little trip down E3's future memory lane. We need more of these.

I especially liked the bit about Assassin's Creed 2. I join Yahtzee in his pessimism concerning that franchise. The first game, which I sadly paid full price for, was absolutely terrible despite ridiculously impressive reviews. Repetitiveness is DEATH TO FUN in open worlds, I don't care what any supporter says.

Final Fantasy XIII might actually be good, despite the gurgling. I enjoy the look and the idea of messing with stats for hours to make my characters powerful at really low levels once again. Even if it is linear (and frankly, I kind of miss linear gameplay when it was done right), it will be long and it should have an interesting story that's complex enough for writers who understand plot. That ticks everything necessary to me.

Of course, a game doesn't need to have giant men smoking cigars and shooting aliens with portal miniguns to satisfy me, unlike how it often is with Yahtzee. Yes, fanboys and fangirls will probably love Final Fantasy XIIItoo much, and it does have the potential to bow to their wishes for more emo angst a la Advent Children, but that shouldn't ruin core appeal.

PureChaos:
no mention of Golden Sun 3? i'm disappointed. the rest was good though

I join you in wishing he mentioned it. However, on the bright side, this was the list of games he didn't think would end up any good. Its omission COULD be an intentional good thing. However, GSDS isn't necessarily on Yahtzee's radar. He concerns himself with mainstream releases, mostly.

That was the funniest ZP video I've seen in a long time, kudos to you. :)

To be honest, that wasn't anywhere near as good as the last E3 related vid, i mean, the talk relating to Natal and Nintendo kind of worked but i think the rest would have been more substantiated if you stuck to just 2 or 3 key games, but hey maybe I'm bitter because I'm looking forward to Alan Wake and the joke relating to it was pretty lame

Hahaha, if this doesn't prove to the fans that Yahtzee is not a serious review, then I don't know what will. The Bayonetta line also had me lol'ing.

I beleive that Mr Yahtzee should go back to reviewing video games. He's better at doing that than he is at ranting.

Orange Monkey:

Odjin:

Orange Monkey:
Anyone else get the feeling he's just in a bad mood? I mean while quite a few of the E3 shown games do look bad not ALL of them do. I'm looking forward to Assasins Creed 2 and The Last Guardian.

But the thing about Natal I completely agree with.

The Last Guardian ( somebody needs to teach the art guy what a griffin is and especially how one looks like )... yep... I would too... if it would be not on PS3. Potential good game on a crappy console as exclusive title = dip-shit!

Ehh I try not to get caught up in the whole console wars, both have their strengths and weaknesses, personally I have a 360 and was hoping for a ''The Last Guardian'' port to the Xbox.

And perhaps the art team was using creative licence, I mean it would be pretty boring if it was just a plain old Griffin which we've seen a hundred times wouldn't it?

I don't care for the console war neither. Only the PC rocks for playing games... that is... except you want to play some party games split screen with buddies but for real games neither of the console is worth a dime. So console exclusive titles are bad.

What goes for Toriko I would not mind if they did something different... but please do it then RIGHT! This mess there looks so ugly it's annoying. The only good thing are the animations in the trailer which are great. I only have this faint feeling that the in-game animations will be crap because it's ( as far as I know ) only an oversized means of transportation.

Wow sweet new gargling theme tune... i expect to hear it next week.

It was very funny, but I couldn't believe that you were actually under the impression that Assassin's Creed II was going to take place in the future. I mean, wasn't it obvious that it's going to take place in another part of history? Anyway, I think it's going to be good, especially because I liked the first one.
Oh, and again, this one was REALLY funny, and I actually laughed out loud, which was something that your reviews didn't make me do for quite some time now.

Haha, cool review, keep it up!

I have given up on the idea that games this year will be worth a damn.

I would disagree with the assessment of natal and sony's thingy - waving your arms about is used by an awful lot of people for relaxation (just not gamers) e.g. dancing

Alan Wake looks kind of good, actually. Kind of like how "Alone in the dark" should have been.

Surprised he didn't mention Heavy Rain and it's possibility to debunk the "Press X to not die" stereotype.

E3..was pretty disappointing this year T_T

AvauntVanguard:
Alan Wake looks kind of good, actually. Kind of like how "Alone in the dark" should have been.

Surprised he didn't mention Heavy Rain and it's possibility to debunk the "Press X to not die" stereotype.

because heavy rain isn't coming out til 2010 -____-

The "good" games come out in 2010. God of War 3 and Heavy Rain might cater to Yahtzee's liking.

My new favourite ZP. =D

I'm pumped for AC2, wasn't expecting something futuristic.

From the look on your man-hating E-face, E3 '09, bar about 2 gems, is going straight to gaming shitpile. Nice; another year, another glutted market for Nintendo and X-Box.

Yes I've actually met a few of these pessimists and let me say that they should get over it! Correct me if I'm wrong but is Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volley Ball the only game Team Ninja ever made? No? That's what I thought. It seems people are forgetting about the newer Ninja Gaiden games which aren't perfect but awesome enough, thank you very much.

Have you seen the videos for Metroid: Other M?
Samus, assuming that's who it is and not some oddball plot twist, looks like every other DOA/Ninja Gaiden female model with big jubblies and short hair in a Zero Suit. That's certainly not the Samus Aran I remember, not even close to the official Nintendo Zero Suit Samus. The gameplay looks outright stupid and frustrating with the varying camera angles and it looks like it's just going to be yet another generic space shooter plot line. WOO-freaking-HOO.

I can't believe people defend that crap instead of seeing the obvious: Nintendo can't even develop their own first person IPs anymore without a co-dev (and a co-dev that made all their bank making sexually charged and/or bloody M-Rated games, at that - great for Nintendo's "family" image, no doubt)...

the only real thing that E3 got me hyped about was the new No More Heroes 2 trailer. other then that it was more of oh that kind of nice stream of announce

Ico and Shadow of the Colossus are of the same lore. Just putting that out there.

definitely a top-notch ZP, I'm glad I have no hope in future games :D

Wow...Bets that Yahtzee hangs himself before the year is out? Seriously, the guy is depressed.

Good anticipation of times to come.

The World is shite. :)

Captiosus:

Yes I've actually met a few of these pessimists and let me say that they should get over it! Correct me if I'm wrong but is Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volley Ball the only game Team Ninja ever made? No? That's what I thought. It seems people are forgetting about the newer Ninja Gaiden games which aren't perfect but awesome enough, thank you very much.

Have you seen the videos for Metroid: Other M?
Samus, assuming that's who it is and not some oddball plot twist, looks like every other DOA/Ninja Gaiden female model with big jubblies and short hair in a Zero Suit. That's certainly not the Samus Aran I remember, not even close to the official Nintendo Zero Suit Samus. The gameplay looks outright stupid and frustrating with the varying camera angles and it looks like it's just going to be yet another generic space shooter plot line. WOO-freaking-HOO.

I can't believe people defend that crap instead of seeing the obvious: Nintendo can't even develop their own first person IPs anymore without a co-dev (and a co-dev that made all their bank making sexually charged and/or bloody M-Rated games, at that - great for Nintendo's "family" image, no doubt)...

Have YOU seen them? ZS samus was in it... as she appeared in Brawl too. And you have no IDEA how it plays, you're not so much jumping gun's as leaping canon's. And Nintendo have been co-developing for ages, F-Zero GX, Starfox Adventures/Assault, Donkey Kong Country, WarioWorld, Sin and Punishment, where the hell have you been for the past 10 years? And the 'family image' is exactly what they're avoiding with Metroid Other M, in fact the whole Metroid series. And Samus looks nothing like the DOA girls, use your bloody eyes next time!

RAGE QUIT!

Best one in a long time. I laughed all the way through. Five shit stars!

Yahtzee Croshaw:
The Second Annual E3 Hype Massacre

This week, Zero Punctuation shares some thoughts on games hyped at e3 2009.

Watch Video

It's been awhile since ZP has given me a good laugh. XD

On a side note...Yahtzee sounds a bit like a Murloc.

The Final Fantasy one and the credits made me laugh harder than I have in ages. Thank you Yahtzee.

Don't you people realise that Yahtzee is just a character. He is not serious 100% of the time. STOP AGREEING WITH EVERYTHING THIS GUY SAYS LIKE BLIND SHEEP WITH BRAIN CANCER! *brain explodes due to high blood pressure obtained from reading these forums*

ive always wanted to go to E3, but not anymore.. thanks Yahtzee for opening my eyes

MarcusMang:
Don't you people realise that Yahtzee is just a character. He is not serious 100% of the time. STOP AGREEING WITH EVERYTHING THIS GUY SAYS LIKE BLIND SHEEP WITH BRAIN CANCER! *brain explodes due to high blood pressure obtained from reading these forums*

well... DUH. Except his comedy is making points that a lot of people are frustrated about so they enjoy agreeing with it. The games industry is a big corporate polished turd, people are pissed and the companies have no idea what to do except make more shitty sequels

meh...
not too funny overall for me, sorry. Probably because he tried to hard to fit everything in there and hate on everything at once. Some of the things were funny, though, so thanks, I guess.

ZP=Shit.

Very funny shit, one of the best so far

omg!!!!metal gear solid rising!!!!!!!!!!!
(yes, im a fan)

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