Escape to the Movies: Transformers Revenge

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ZippyDSMlee:
And your point breaks down to not liking it because you think its a cheap knock off...I think its a comparable knock off worthy of viewing like some of the big lots beast wars/Robotech/Macross figures are worth collecting..... so don't like it....don't consume it so you don't have to whine about it...least that is what everyone tells me what to do with modern gaming :P.

Actually I really enjoyed it. I don't know where you got the impression that I didn't from.

Seemed less like a review, and more like some guy who has a personal hate of bay ranting with flashing images, pretending to be yahtzee.

i knew not to trust him when he said it was worse than anything uwe boll ever made, Im gonna go see it tommorow morning, just on this review's reccomendation not to.

SFR:
I have no idea how MovieBob doesn't like the new design of the characters. They actually make sense... you know, A LOT of moving parts, not just like 6 squares with hinges. What's wrong with a design that actually looks interesting?

Amusingly, it actually doesn't. Exposed cogs and gears are actually amazingly stupid; even the smallest piece of gravel could cause the machine to jam, and considering that they end up in a fucking desert, I think that a modular, sealed design is just what was called for.

I don't know where you picked up your knowledge of engineering characteristics, but perhaps it's best not to take lessons from people who probably think that spoilers belong on front-wheel drive cars or that the Star Destroyer makes military sense.

Design fail, much?

Cheers MovieBob, great as ever.

Tdc2182:

GuerrillaClock:
OK, this review has finally convinced me that Moviebob has little to no idea what he is talking about when it comes to film. Before I start, let me say that I didn't think that Transformers 2 was very good. At all. Every joke was frankly terrible and it was far too long and bloated, much more so than it needed to be. Did we really need to see Sam at college? What did his roommate bring to the film at all? Robot balls? And as for John Turturro's sagging arse... eurgh.

But really, to dismiss the notion that this was merely a dumb film based on a TOY LINE, and to dismiss anyone who subscribes to that notion as an idiot is asshattery of the highest order. Are you really so pretentious to think that a film about giant robots fighting is going to produce something other than a mindless boomfest? A FILM WILL ALWAYS BE LIMITED BY WHATEVER IT WAS INSPIRED BY, FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE. You want to stray from the source material, by extension straying from what the fans want? Go ahead. But in the entertainment industry, you don't fuck with the fans. An example of my point? Ang Lee's Hulk. Nothing technically wrong with it, but it was a film about the HULK, for God's sake! It veered off into totally irrelevant territory, alienating the fans and as such it was badly received. Michael Bay, with this film, was simply giving the fans what they wanted, making it bigger, brasher and louder than Transformers 1 in all areas. Unfortunately, this applied to the crap bits of that film too, but to all the people who are saying it's the worst film EVAR just because Spoony and co said so, you need to grow up a little.

Though half this statement you just agreed with moviebob. I mean to say you said he doesnt know anything about movies and you basically quoted him through your entire rant. There was one or two parts where you made your own statement but that waas it. Just read it over and youll see.

I wasn't criticising him for what his opinion was, as that's known as flaming and is generally Not A Good Thing. I was criticising him for his asshat justification of that opinion, and generally weak and stupid arguments used throughout the review. As such, that makes it a POOR REVIEW, even if I did agree (to some extent, I didn't think it was that bad) with the end verdict.

Transformers 2 is serious business.

Every movie must be a piece of art, because simply having enjoyable film isn't good enough.

Michael Bay is some sort of anti-christ to some subgroup of humanity.

Geez people, Serenity wasn't a great movie by any standard's, but it's still awesome to watch! If you're this bent out of shape over a movie, I suggest you just kill yourselves so you can stop yourself from being potentially disappointed again [Eyeroll]

Here's an idea.

Instead of going OMFG IT'S SO SHIT, have a think about what was good about it? Giant robots, awesome battle scenes, quite a few genuinely funny (although some were cringe-worthy) moments and gratuitous amounts of sexual implications.

Eh, who am I kidding, most of you decrying this movie are going to be either trolls or moviebob fans, and if it's the last case, please take a look at yourself and consider having an opinion of your own for once, instead of listening to the next yahtzee ripoff :)

Eh, who am I kidding, most of you decrying this movie are going to be either trolls or moviebob fans, and if it's the last case, please take a look at yourself and consider having an opinion of your own for once, instead of listening to the next yahtzee ripoff :)

Hello, hypocracy! You can't make a point about people getting their own opinion, when you outright discredit one you don't like! Please, go away.

And, yes, the first film sucked, I have no reason to believe this one fairs any better, especially since EVERY EFFIN' REVIEW makes the same point: ROTF is the first film, pumped with steroids.

The review was indeed hilarious.

Thesreyn:
Instead of going OMFG IT'S SO SHIT, have a think about what was good about it? Giant robots, awesome battle scenes, quite a few genuinely funny (although some were cringe-worthy) moments and gratuitous amounts of sexual implications.

Eh, who am I kidding, most of you decrying this movie are going to be either trolls or moviebob fans, and if it's the last case, please take a look at yourself and consider having an opinion of your own for once, instead of listening to the next yahtzee ripoff :)

Once again: It's longer than 2001: A Space Odyssey. If you don't see a problem with that, in a genre which should all be about the ninety-minute mark, I'm going to have to drag you by your ears to film school.

RAKtheUndead:
Once again: It's longer than 2001: A Space Odyssey. If you don't see a problem with that, in a genre which should all be about the ninety-minute mark, I'm going to have to drag you by your ears to film school.

[Laughs] So anything that goes over an hour and a half is shit then?

haha-ohwow.jpg :)

Stewie Plisken:
Hello, hypocracy! You can't make a point about people getting their own opinion, when you outright discredit one you don't like! Please, go away.

And, yes, the first film sucked, I have no reason to believe this one fairs any better, especially since EVERY EFFIN' REVIEW makes the same point: ROTF is the first film, pumped with steroids.

The review was indeed hilarious.

First, it's hypocrisy. Second, I didn't discredit his opinion. I discredit the way in which he goes about it and the fact that he is attempting to influence people by using the medium that someone else has already though of and uses -far- more effectively first.

Here's an idea. Perhaps you should go and see the film. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't. But until you decide to start making your own opinions on the basis of what you've seen, you deserve all the comments of "reviewer-arse-kissing" that someone lumps at you.

And please. Sayign the word douchebag every 5 seconds does not make you "hilarious" :)

Thesreyn:
Second, I didn't discredit his opinion. I discredit the way in which he goes about it and the fact that he is attempting to influence people by using the medium that someone else has already though of and uses -far- more effectively first.

You're absolutely right. Text-over-a-slideshow is a completely original Copyright Ben Croshaw method of delivery. Bob, get to work on that whole "induced hallucination via contamination of the water supply" medium we were discussing, post haste.

Also, I hear Yahtzee's lawsuit against the patent holders for Powerpoint and overhead projectors is going splendidly. Good luck, you magnificent bastard.

Thesreyn:
Here's an idea. Perhaps you should go and see the film. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't. But until you decide to start making your own opinions on the basis of what you've seen, you deserve all the comments of "reviewer-arse-kissing" that someone lumps at you.

Here's another idea. Maybe it's not an issue of "brainwashed critic fanboys having to form their own opinions". Maybe a critic's job is to keep people from giving their money to these horrible movies. I went and saw the movie, and it was fuckawful. I feel as though I threw away $11.

Also, douchebag is a hilarious word.

So, i just seen this movie with a friend of mine, looking back at it...

right when i got into the movie a bit with jetfire taking em to Egypt, they Suck you back out by doing (get ready for this!)
A police Car cache in Egypt!

so Manny stuff that made me think "wtf?"
Right at the start:
"Bumblebee go away"
when he said that, i tough:
Why would one want A normal live over driving a car that can turn into a giant fucking robot.

AND WHY THE FUCK CAN'T BUMBLEBEE TALK?
they Fixed it into episode one
"o look hes cute now"
no.. just annoying
As for the fighting.
PLEASE please please give all of them there own type of bright color next movie!

Example: open paint, take a random color, go draw lines with that
Select the same color, and start to randomly draw lines trough that other color.
Conclusion: You loose track of what line is going wear.
Solution: select a different color.

Thesreyn:

Second, I didn't discredit his opinion. I discredit the way in which he goes about it and the fact that he is attempting to influence people by using the medium that someone else has already though of and uses -far- more effectively first.

I wasn't talking about your opinion of MovieBob. I quoted a specific part of your response.

Thesreyn:
Here's an idea. Perhaps you should go and see the film. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't. But until you decide to start making your own opinions on the basis of what you've seen, you deserve all the comments of "reviewer-arse-kissing" that someone lumps at you.

Perhabs you should ask around about what a review is supposed to do. It's not supposed to indulge my taste after I've seen a movie, it's supposed to help me decide whether or not I should go see it in the first place.

orannis62:
Wow, a little angry there, huh Bob? I haven't seen this movie yet, nor did I plan to even before this review, especially considering I still haven't seen Up! (is Up! even still out?).

Up is in its last day today

Transformers wasn't as bad as Uwe Boll's stuff, rent it

JWAN:

orannis62:
Wow, a little angry there, huh Bob? I haven't seen this movie yet, nor did I plan to even before this review, especially considering I still haven't seen Up! (is Up! even still out?).

Up is in its last day today

Transformers wasn't as bad as Uwe Boll's stuff, rent it

Aww, really? I wanted to go and see that... instead, since I'm stuck in Peru and they opted to have Transformers subbed instead of Pixar's latest masterpiece, I'm seeing RotF tonight. So I'll be able to record my own experience afterwards.
(I still call bullshit on Optimus beating up Megatron, Starscream, and Blackout AT THE SAME TIME. I don't care if it was an awesome action scene, it just makes no sense!)

Transformers... I don't like it, but it wasn't THAT awful. It had some redeeming moments (all of them involving the robots), like Optimus' speech at the very end. And Starscream pretending to be a jet and then tearing up a bunch of other jets sent in as reinforcement. I'd recommend just watching it on Starz or Cineplex or one of those channels instead of spending money to rent, though.

Edit: On a totally unrelated note... is that the Skeefree monster? O_o

MovieBob:

Lancer723:
Another point I want to make that calling the Twins characters racist is bullshit. Look these are giant alien robots, if they were all given the same personalities it would be boring. And the nagging question in my mind is that you actually took the time to take these characters, apply them to your preconceived notion of what is stereotypical African-American behavior, then take those thoughts to the internet and spew your opinion on what is and is not racist. Seriously, if someone hadn't said that they're portrayals were racist I wouldn't have even thought of that, honestly, it never crossed my mind.

Okay, yeah. Let's get into this one.

The problem with Mudflap and Skids isn't in my or anyone else's perceptions or preconcieved notions of African-Americans. This isn't like Jar-Jar Binks, where a wholly-original creation seems to incidentally embody certain old stereotypes. The defining physical features of the twins - the googly-eyes, big floppy lips, simian ears, attention-focusing teeth and shuffling gait are cast-in-car-parts recreations of a very specific brand of cartoon-caricature common at the turn of the century and well into the late-1940s generally called a "Sambo" (or sometimes "Golliwog" if you're from Europe, though there's some nuance to that one) or a "Pickaninny" if the character is meant to be young. When coupled with the Twin's personality characterization, i.e. ignorant, illiterate, bickering and overly self-amused, this places them in a secondary type refered to as "Minstrelsy," as in reminiscient-of-a-minstrel-show. You can go ahead and google any of those terms.

Sambos and Minstrel Shows ARE racist caricatures, the Twins ARE Sambos, therefore they ARE racist caricatures. Whether or not the person(s) who signed off on their design are aware of that is irrelevant - if I draw a Nazi swastika, it's still a Nazi swastika whether I know what it stands for or not. At BEST, their presence is a demonstration that more than one person on the creative staff of this film is STUNNINGLY ignorant of entertainment history.

I'm willing to take your word on the Sambo example and how they bear similarities to the twins, what I am not buying however, that their presence in the film is an inherently BAD thing. You mention that Sambos were caricatures of a racist and stereotypical behavior, well caricature is a fancy way of saying symbol, and symbols are interpreted by the person seeing them.

Case in point, your swastika example. If you ask someone who is Jewish and someone who is follower of Hinduism or Jainism to identify what a swastika means, then you will get incredibly different answers. What I'm trying to say is that whether or not we construe something as racist, especially through a venue such as film, it is inherent that the interpretation is the individuals own. Regardless of the history behind the Twins, that holds no weight unless you WANT to see the racism there. I personally thought the Twin's were quite entertaining, and like I said in my original post, they were given highly identifiable personalities to make them not only entertaining, but also accessible. If you see racism there, then you are looking for racism.

As to the Devastator thing, let me say that I was in no way a fan of how Bay used him, and I'll once again go on your word as to how Bay wrote those scenes before actually having a plot. Based on that information I'm willing to concede that particular point to you.

However, I'm still not buying your Devastator testes argument (and no, I was not able to type that with a straight face). It was a joke, I really think you're reading too much into this. I fail to see how the a human character was specifically placed there to call attention to the joke. The fact that he chased Devastator up the one of the pyramids to try and call an accurate strike on it was all just a plot device to make one 3 second joke? That seems like entirely too much work, not to mention the fact that the character that pointed it out was already established as being there for comic relief for the entirety of the movie before that moment.

MovieBob:
douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag this movie sucked douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag douchebag

Here are some other words that mean the same thing colloquially, y'know, so you can add variety to your reviews--vagina, cunt, retard, assclown, jizzfountain, asshole fountain, tampon, flaccid asshole, world-class moron, Pepsi, felcher, dumbfuck, shitbagel, shitpile, fuckslut.

Seriously, this review has more uses of "douchebag" than it has sentences.

Okay, I retract my call of bullshit on the 3v1 Optimus against Decepticons scene. For some reason I thought that he WON that fight. If he had, THEN it would've been bullshit, but actually he only manages to take out Blackout before he's beaten. (Speaking of, I thought the way in which he's beaten down was very cool, and perfectly in line with how Optimus Prime, well, is. I almost went OPTIMUUUUUS! right there in the theater.) Actually that scene turned out to be my favorite in the entire movie. Which is saying very little.

(This whole thing is going to be massive spoilers, not that anyone commenting here hasn't seen it if they want to, but still...)

It was... okay. Distasteful might be a better word. This is, however, judging it on its own merits. I found it a great disappointment, nowhere near as good as a movie based on something as timeless and f***ing awesome as the Transformers should be. But let's take a look at some things...

Soundtrack: Only consistently good thing with this movie. When you can actually hear it over the explosions, it's epic and atmospheric. They did a decent job with this, especially the choral tracks.

Action: I'm with Moviebob here. There were a few good scenes that escaped this (mostly), but does Michael Bay have some kind of fetish for motion blur? I'll give you an example, the one-on-two fight Bumblebee gets with Ravage and some random red guy in the desert. Started off nice, I thought, "Hey, Bee's going to get to fight! This is gonna be great!"
Then Bumblebee did something (ripped off Red Guy's arm? Maybe?) Then he did... something else and I realized that while it looks visually cool, I couldn't make out at all what was going on. I saw three distinct points in that scene. Bumblebee putting his mask down, Bumblebee ripping out Ravage's spine (badass, by the way), and Bumblebee ripping the arms off of Red Guy. And I only saw the last two because they put them both in super slow-mo.
As I said, my favorite scene in the whole movie is Optimus vs. Megatron, Starscream, and Blackout. Honestly, it's the one action scene in the whole movie that's really well done. (I'll allow the possible exception of Devastator "vs" the Twins, which at least had that bolo thing going on, and Super Optimus Prime vs. Megatron (sorta) and The Fallen.)

Robot Design: Again, I have to agree with Moviebob here. Not all of them suck (I mostly liked Optimus), but when they did, they SUCKED. Megatron looked terrible again, Starscream was stupid, and I completely agree that The Fallen looks awful. I see that they were trying an Egyptian pharaoh motif for the Primes, and it's a nice idea, but it didn't get implemented well.
Also, every single small robot sucked. (Except Ravage, but you really can't screw up a feral robotic canine.) The Doctor was amusing to listen to but he's a spindly little crab...thing... and I really hated him. Also The Matrix called, they want the probe they put in Neo back. After you clean the Sam-snot off of it.
Out of all the new designs... Soundwave I liked. I'm not sure why Moviebob was angry about him (the low screen time, maybe?) As others have said, he did what he was supposed to, and he did it really well. The scene where he steals a satellite and starts spying on the military so he can coordinate the Decepticons is a lot of fun. Also I liked the wafer-thin Decepticon that Ravage unleashes on the base to steal the Spark fragment. That was a really neat idea and they executed it well (for once).
Oh, and one more thing. Jetfire? Cool. Optimus Prime plus Jetfire's parts? Ugly. As. Sin.

Robot Personalities: Oh hell, don't get me started... The Twins need to die in a fire. No, seriously, being sucked down a plothole (see below) is NOT a bad enough fate for them. Optimus also has some alarming flaws in his design. Why is the awesome, noble, heroic leader I remember suddenly slinging an endless stream of one-liners ("I rise, you fall"?!) that remind one of an eighth-grader's attempt to sound like Sean Connery, and generally running around being a berserker? (Yes, it was cool seeing him rip Blackout's face in half and crush The Fallen's spark in his hand, but Optimus would NEVER do that!) Wheelie is similarly annoying. He's not HUGELY bad, but he's pretty far up there.
Not all of them were horrible, though. Berserk Bond tendencies aside, Optimus is well done as usual, Ironhide is pretty fun, and Jetfire is the single most awesome character in the entire movie. Bumblebee manages to make us all laugh, despite the fact that Bay pulled the "he can't talk except by songs" thing again, which was stupid. And Megatron is his usual awesome, badass, completely ruthless self.
Speaking of ruthless, The Fallen's personality works well, but what the hell happened to Starscream? He's gone from the most awesome Decepticon of all time, a brilliant schemer who stays useful to Megatron while taking every opportunity to undercut him, to a sniveling coward who gets beaten up by Megatron in EVERY scene the two are both in until the very end. No, I'm serious. Even after the fight with Optimus, Megatron takes the time to take Starscream's ripped-off arm and bitch-slap him with it. Congurts, Michael Bay, you have wrecked the single most awesome character you had.

Plotholes: Yes, there are plotholes. Let me give you three of them right here, off the top of my head:
1. What the hell happened to Skids and Mudflap? They're fighting Devastator, all well and good. That was actually a pretty fun fight scene (although plagued by the damn blur), barring that one moment where the red one (I think it's Mudflap, but I honestly don't care) somehow survives grinders stolen from the mecha shark in James and the Giant Peach and punches his way out of Devastator's mouth. ... Bullshit.
Anyway, so, Devastator "vs" the Twins. Cut to some other stuff. Cut back and now Devastator's climbing the pyramid.
...Rewind? No. They never appear again in the movie. They're just gone. Apparently plotholes double as black holes. Not that I care about the Twins, but still.

2. Hey, remember that asshat liason guy? The one who treated Optimus' body like shit and ordered everyone back to base? What happened to him after he gets kicked out of the plane? He calls the Navy and then vanishes into the same plothole the Twins went down.

3. Who the hell is the guy Simmons calls, and why does he have a railgun? We have a RAILGUN, and we don't hear about it until the end of the movie?

Misc:
Once again, misuse of shiny things. Devastator is frickin' badass. I will allow a railgun is awesome and can hurt even him, but there is no way that a being powerful enough to rip apart pyramids and about half the size of one can be taken out by ONE railgun shot. At the very least, the shot should've knocked him down and weakened him long enough for the Twins (or SOMEBODY) to finish him off. Oh, wait, the Twins were sucked down a plothole. My bad.
And of course, robot Satan, aka The Fallen. I counted. He lasts a MINUTE from when Optimus destroys the sun-killing machine. This is a robot we just witnessed lifting and subsequently destroying every single soldier and every piece of military equipment for a MILE radius, making even Magneto seem weak and pathetic, and Optimus just jumps him and beats the living shit out of him. Hell, half the fight was kicking Megatron and then blowing half his face off. The Fallen goes down like a chump, like Glass Joe AFTER he's been knocked down twice already. The epic fight scene we DESERVED after all the buildup, after Jetfire's awesome and noble sacrifice, never happens. I honestly feel cheated, Michael Bay.
And... the humans. Stop stealing the airtime from the awesome robots we came to see. I've ranted enough about this in earlier posts, so I'll just leave it at that. Besides... Even worse than the humans? The fucking puerile, five-year-old humor with sex that needs to be burned from my memory.
The dogs.
The freaking brownies (and the ensuing stupidity from the single worst character in the entire movie).
Don't get me started on the baby booties and ensuing scene. Just. Don't.
EVERYTHING that Skids and Mudflap ever say or do. Most of whatever Wheelie does falls under this too. (If I ever see Wheelie hump Megan Fox's leg again I will personally set fire to that prop. Or whatever section of hard drive contains his CG data.)
The list goes on, to the point where I was literally gagging in the theater. Sometimes the humor is on point (much as I hate Bee not talking, the radio gags were great as usual) but very rarely, and the rest of the time it goes beyond horrible. The humor alone could have killed this movie for me, but there's just so much more...

So, overall... Some people are going to enjoy this, if only for the mindless fun. The action is decent minus the motion blur (again, the Optimus 3-on-1 actually wins PRAISE from me), the plot is okay (not counting the plotholes, of which there are a LOT more than the three I named) when it's focusing on the robots (nobody gives a damn about Sam Shitwicky), and overally it's an okay action flick if you can stomach the bad humor. I still regard it as hardly worth the cash (and I paid 6.50 Peruvian soles to see it, which is about $2.20 USD) and a huge disappointment to any true blue Transformers fan hoping to see their franchise done justice. Revenge of the Fallen doesn't even come close.

^
Johnny Turbo on RotF vs original transformers:
"It doesn't even COMPARE!"
Johnny Turbo on the transformers:
"They're not even HUMAN!"
Johnny Turbo on The Console Transformers game:
"Its got that ARCADE FEEL"

Johnny Turbo FTW

quote natsu wall of text:

3. Who the hell is the guy Simmons calls, and why does he have a railgun? We have a RAILGUN, and we don't hear about it until the end of the movie?

==========

Agree
1. Who are you?, ok lets fire it (wait what?)
2. he look, bad guy is now on top of pyramid, blowing up sun. shoot it again?

and on a side not, why are the only 2 transformers that are getting char development, " the twins"
and why are these the only 2 transformers i hate.

i really wanted to see Acree in action more :(
From wiki:
Arcee, a single consciousness driving three female Transformers that transform into three motorcycles:

wait.. 3, was this in the T.V show?
and , yes, it was once again bad designs.
her leg is one wheel, i really found it sad :(

This movie has a lot of stuff that made me cheer, but more made me cry

Necrith:
quote natsu wall of text:

3. Who the hell is the guy Simmons calls, and why does he have a railgun? We have a RAILGUN, and we don't hear about it until the end of the movie?

==========

Agree
1. Who are you?, ok lets fire it (wait what?)
2. he look, bad guy is now on top of pyramid, blowing up sun. shoot it again?

Thanks for pointing that out, I forgot to mention. If it can take out freaking DEVASTATOR in one shot, surely it can take out either The Fallen, uber-Magneto powers or not, or simply detonate the machine.

and on a side not, why are the only 2 transformers that are getting char development, " the twins"
and why are these the only 2 transformers i hate.

They're far from the only ones I hate (again, Bay wrecked the coolest Decepticon EVER), but yeah, agreed.

i really wanted to see Acree in action more :(
From wiki:
Arcee, a single consciousness driving three female Transformers that transform into three motorcycles:

wait.. 3, was this in the T.V show?
and , yes, it was once again bad designs.
her leg is one wheel, i really found it sad :(

This movie has a lot of stuff that made me cheer, but more made me cry

Wait, the motorcycle trio has a hive-mind thing? ...That's AWESOME. Why didn't we ever hear about or use this in the movie?

Krakyn:
But...but...Michael Bay blows mad shit up.

*weeps into his Transformer's sheets that he's owned since 1991*

It's going to be ok.

I'll tell you what though, there are a lot of new members who seem to think that he's ripping off Mr Croshaw. Is this like a newspaper reviewer ripping off another newspaper reviewer because they both get printed on newspaper?

Grow up ballbags, if you don't like it don't watch it. Yeesh.

I'll tell you what though, there are a lot of new members who seem to think that he's ripping off Mr Croshaw. Is this like a newspaper reviewer ripping off another newspaper reviewer because they both get printed on newspaper?

Grow up ballbags, if you don't like it don't watch it. Yeesh.

Sorry for double post, I slap myself for 2 points of shame.

Thank you.
Thank you Movie Bob.

I have not wanted to see this movie. I loved the old cartoon and I couldn't explain WHY I felt such inward revulsion at each ad and trailer. Now I know. You have articulated what I could not express. The director gutted all that I loved. That's IT!

They even say that Arcee the female autobot is supposed to make an appearance in this one. I never quite figured out what the point was before for their existence and I didn't expect to find out here. Perhaps it's just Wheelie instead. That would be a relief. And, yes, I am sick of following around the kid instead of focusing on the robots. It just has the feel of Gremlins 2 where the lead character seemed to forget EVERYTHING he ever learned under major duress about the little fuzzball Mogwii.

So now I know. And I am doubly sure I don't want to see the second film. Good show.

Oh, and one more thing about the humans I forgot to mention in the wall-o-text up there... the military.
Let's put this simply. The military in this movie has far too large a presence and is able to do far too much. There is no way that a Decepticon could be taken out by a normal human tank. A railgun badly injuring one, or killing a standard-sized one with a good shot, is reasonable, but normal shots? There is a scene where Megatron gets driven off by two guys in a Warthog. Does that really seem reasonable when faced with a robot the size of a building who is capable of space travel and who nearly killed Optimus in the first movie (and succeeded in this one)? Particularly since Megatron gets driven off while standing right next to Prime's body- with Sam right there, exactly what the entire desert sequence was about him trying to stop? Megatron has weapons out the wazoo, I'm sure he could deal with one little Warthog and then return to picking on Sam and ensuring that Optimus Prime, the SOLE FORCE CAPABLE OF KILLING THE FALLEN, doesn't get resurrected.
And this isn't so much a "Megatron being weak", thing. If an Autobot or three had shown off and attacked, driving him off, that would have made some sense. Instead, it's the US Military who drives off the second most powerful being on the planet. Furthermore, the movie has things backwards, with the Autobots helping the military out. That's complete and utter bull. Humans help the Transformers in whatever puny, insignificant way they can. They can't stand up to the Decepticons, so they leave the fighting to the Autobots and do other things, like exploiting weaknesses or making desperate last-ditch efforts to save their friends from destruction. Example: Sam putting the Cube into Megatron's chest in the first movie, good. It's something a human can really do to help the Autobots. Same for Mikaela putting Bee on a tow truck and pulling the "I'll drive, you shoot" stunt. In the second movie, the entire sequence where Sam and the others race against time to get the Matrix to Optimus and revive him, good! This is what humans SHOULD be doing in the movie.
Then you remember that the rest of the time, the humans are either ordering the Autobots around, managing to take out Decepticons largely or entirely on their own, or spitting on Optimus' corpse. Great job there, Michael Bay.

Thesreyn:

RAKtheUndead:
Once again: It's longer than 2001: A Space Odyssey. If you don't see a problem with that, in a genre which should all be about the ninety-minute mark, I'm going to have to drag you by your ears to film school.

[Laughs] So anything that goes over an hour and a half is shit then?

haha-ohwow.jpg :)

Any action movie which goes significantly over an hour and a half has to justify it. For the record, there are loads of great movies that go well over the ninety-minute mark - The Godfather; Apocalypse Now; 2001: A Space Odyssey; The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (two and a half hours of pure awesomeness), et al.

The original Transformers extended the running time by focusing on human characters who were unlikeable; more focus on the robot story would have worked a lot better.

Why i watched this review i do not know considering moviebob hated it before he went to see it as he slagged it off in his previous reviews. Moviebob it is now apparently clear you know nothing about movies. The transformers films were not the best films ever made it does not has the best story line in the world it's not gonna win Oscars but it wasn't trying to! All it is a film about alien robots who blow the crap out of each other not Schindler's list, so don't slag it off for not having artistic soul or that other crap. If you can't enjoy a movie that has a simple plot and action then you're gone in the head. Seriously the way you reviewed it's like it shouldn't have had any action in it, god forbid that a fucking action film should have action in it. As for thinking that there should be little or none human story to it... okay that was the most stupid thing i had ever heard. forgetting it was set on earth where billions of humans live and that it had a heavy human story in the first one that leads on to the second one, it's basic psychology that humans are more likely to relate and enjoy something if it has an human element to (e.g. the reason more people like predators than aliens) so to not do it would be stupid.

Simalacrum:
Transformers = avoid. gotcha.

also, is it just me or is Moviebob becomming more and more like Yahtzee with a red background? oh wells, it isn't a bad thing :P

first of all, simalacrum mate do not see a movie because someone did not like it, everyone likes different things you have free will use it :P and second it IS a bad thing he is reviewing like Yahtzee. He is stealing another reviewer's style meaning he lacks the charisma and brain cells to come up with his own.

moviebob you seem to hate everything in the way you talk and express curse words to prove your point... to be honest if you see life in the way you see movies I'm surprised that you have not put the barrel of a shotgun down your throat and pulled the trigger

lightspeed:
Why i watched this review i do not know considering moviebob hated it before he went to see it as he slagged it off in his previous reviews. Moviebob it is now apparently clear you know nothing about movies.

So, why did you? And why are you now commenting on said review?

The transformers films were not the best films ever made it does not has the best story line in the world it's not gonna win Oscars but it wasn't trying to! All it is a film about alien robots who blow the crap out of each other not Schindler's list, so don't slag it off for not having artistic soul or that other crap.

Except it wasn't even that. A third of the movie at best (and that's being REALLY generous) was robots kicking the stuffing out of each other. Besides that, both Moviebob and I have tried to make the point that Transformers deserves a lot better than a cheap action flick with bad design, poor acting and plotholes out the wazoo.

If you can't enjoy a movie that has a simple plot and action then you're gone in the head.

The plot sucked. Next question.

Seriously the way you reviewed it's like it shouldn't have had any action in it, god forbid that a fucking action film should have action in it.

"This is the part where I say that at least the action was good... but it wasn't. Because this is a Michael Bay movie. So the camera's always jerking around on its fiftieth Red Bull. Through a lens flare. At sunset. Half-obscured by a mournfully billowing American flag."
Quoted as accurately as I could. Let me break that down, since you obviously didn't hear or understand him.
It's not about there being action in an action movie. It's about the action in this action movie being terrible.

As for thinking that there should be little or none human story to it... okay that was the most stupid thing i had ever heard. forgetting it was set on earth where billions of humans live and that it had a heavy human story in the first one that leads on to the second one, it's basic psychology that humans are more likely to relate and enjoy something if it has an human element to (e.g. the reason more people like predators than aliens) so to not do it would be stupid.

Have you EVER seen a Transformers cartoon? This is a story about the Transformers. Making the humans take center stage is a stupid, terrible idea that makes it into just Random Alien Invasion Action Flick #2453.
And he explained the relatability thing. Both in the review and in comments. The Transformers are completely capable of making the story relatable on their own. They speak, they have faces (this is mostly paraphrasing Moviebob here), they have emotions. They have personalities.
Allow me to put this simply; you must have HATED Wall-E, since you can't relate to a robot.

Simalacrum:
Transformers = avoid. gotcha.

also, is it just me or is Moviebob becomming more and more like Yahtzee with a red background? oh wells, it isn't a bad thing :P

first of all, simalacrum mate do not see a movie because someone did not like it, everyone likes different things you have free will use it :P and second it IS a bad thing he is reviewing like Yahtzee. He is stealing another reviewer's style meaning he lacks the charisma and brain cells to come up with his own.

My God. You're right, what was I thinking, using the opinion of a reviewer to decide whether or not to go see a movie. It's not like that's what reviewing is supposed to DO, after all.
And stop with the accusations of Yahtzee cloning. He doesn't have a patent on it, and honestly Yahtzee has a totally different style of talking. The only similarity is that they both use image gags to make a point. My God, the copycatting, it is too obvious not to see...

(last paragraph snipped because I can only tolerate so much concentrated stupid)
I'm not going to say anything else to you besides "Go watch his Up review".

Everyone keeps saying how it NEEDS Humans to be relatable.
1. See WALL-E
2. I never hear anyone say the human element isn't total crap.
Moviebob is a FILM critic, And just like you wouldn't show your Principal Youtube poop and expect him to laugh, you dont ask a FILM CRITIC About stupid action movies and then complain they're too harsh. Bob doesn't usually waste his time on mindless action movies, but childhood-raeping ones aren't so lucky.
None of you guys have seen any of his stuff he's been doing for YEARS outside of theescapist.com. The internet is larger than Google and theescapist.com/zeropunctuation.
maybe this is the one you dislike out of 400, you certainly dont know! It's like me looking at your worst English Essay in the last 4 years and declaring you a total idiot from 1 paper I don't like, nevermind the hundreds others you've done in your life that I've never seen.

lightspeed:
Why i watched this review i do not know considering moviebob hated it before he went to see it as he slagged it off in his previous reviews. Moviebob it is now apparently clear you know nothing about movies.

Natsu_Blaze:
So, why did you? And why are you now commenting on said review?

Because i was curious and thought it would start raining pigs and moviebob would review the movie to a good standard

The transformers films were not the best films ever made it does not has the best story line in the world it's not gonna win Oscars but it wasn't trying to! All it is a film about alien robots who blow the crap out of each other not Schindler's list, so don't slag it off for not having artistic soul or that other crap.

Except it wasn't even that. A third of the movie at best (and that's being REALLY generous) was robots kicking the stuffing out of each other. Besides that, both Moviebob and I have tried to make the point that Transformers deserves a lot better than a cheap action flick with bad design, poor acting and plotholes out the wazoo.

For starters wazoo is not a word come on use a big boy word like arse. Like i stated before it was a simple movie nothing special and it was not supposed to be so you cannot blame it for not being complicated and deep. "moviebob and i" are you a tag team because i did not realise you wrote some of the script of this review :O

If you can't enjoy a movie that has a simple plot and action then you're gone in the head.

The plot sucked. Next question.

It did not suck it was simple and sometimes when people need to relax a simple plot is nicer to follow than one about nuclear fission.

Seriously the way you reviewed it's like it shouldn't have had any action in it, god forbid that a fucking action film should have action in it.

"This is the part where I say that at least the action was good... but it wasn't. Because this is a Michael Bay movie. So the camera's always jerking around on its fiftieth Red Bull. Through a lens flare. At sunset. Half-obscured by a mournfully billowing American flag."
Quoted as accurately as I could. Let me break that down, since you obviously didn't hear or understand him.
It's not about there being action in an action movie. It's about the action in this action movie being terrible.

I have a perfectly good pair of ears on the side of my head and their not just there to provide support for my sunglasses, i heard every word of moviebob's review down to the last sickening accented word. Now ask yourself what is the aim of every movie. To give enjoyment to the viewer through immersion (plus to make heaps of money) and the more realistic the more likely you will be immersed. So how will it feel if there were missiles, giant robots and explosions? Hmmmm i think you would not be able to make out what was going on, so it sets you in the moment like you are actually there. All the action scenes that where worth seeing every bit in great detail were the smaller fight scenes e.g. the forest battle. If you rate bad action down to the fact you were too slow to make out every detail then you are a retard no question!

As for thinking that there should be little or none human story to it... okay that was the most stupid thing i had ever heard. forgetting it was set on earth where billions of humans live and that it had a heavy human story in the first one that leads on to the second one, it's basic psychology that humans are more likely to relate and enjoy something if it has an human element to (e.g. the reason more people like predators than aliens) so to not do it would be stupid.

Have you EVER seen a Transformers cartoon? This is a story about the Transformers. Making the humans take center stage is a stupid, terrible idea that makes it into just Random Alien Invasion Action Flick #2453.
And he explained the relatability thing. Both in the review and in comments. The Transformers are completely capable of making the story relatable on their own. They speak, they have faces (this is mostly paraphrasing Moviebob here), they have emotions. They have personalities.
Allow me to put this simply; you must have HATED Wall-E, since you can't relate to a robot.

This part made me lol hard first thing i have never seen Wall-E and I'm sure it was good second i can relate to the transformers (I'm one of those strange few that prefers aliens to predators) and i will agree with you it should have been a lot more focused on the actual transformers but movie making is a business and to sell the most tickets bay wanted it to appeal to old school fanboys and people just getting into the genre so that's why he had to give the film a human face.

Simalacrum:
Transformers = avoid. gotcha.

also, is it just me or is Moviebob becomming more and more like Yahtzee with a red background? oh wells, it isn't a bad thing :P

first of all, simalacrum mate do not see a movie because someone did not like it, everyone likes different things you have free will use it :P and second it IS a bad thing he is reviewing like Yahtzee. He is stealing another reviewer's style meaning he lacks the charisma and brain cells to come up with his own.

My God. You're right, what was I thinking, using the opinion of a reviewer to decide whether or not to go see a movie. It's not like that's what reviewing is supposed to DO, after all.
And stop with the accusations of Yahtzee cloning. He doesn't have a patent on it, and honestly Yahtzee has a totally different style of talking. The only similarity is that they both use image gags to make a point. My God, the copycatting, it is too obvious not to see...

(last paragraph snipped because I can only tolerate so much concentrated stupid)
I'm not going to say anything else to you besides "Go watch his Up review".

Okay each person's opinion is different they may be similar at times but different. So to not experience something just because, someone's jaded opinion of a movie butchered it for all the nitpicky faults is stupid. It shows you lack free will to think for yourself e.g. i think Yahtzee is a brilliant reviewer but he dislikes jrpgs and i like some of the FFs but i have not played one just because he dislikes them because I'm not a mindless moron who takes orders over the internet from complete strangers :P. No Yahtzee does not have a patent to it but he owns the right because he came up with the unique style it's an insult to him for stupid people with no creativity to steal it for themselves. You say the back ground gags are the only similarity? hmmm okay what about the lack of punctuation in moviebob's speech and large amount of swearing. Another question why do you think Yahtzee's review is called ZERO PUNCTUATION..... you know its beyond me but a super genius like yourself might be able to figure it out.

I do commend you though because some of your argument does have you own thought and opinion them, but the other bits are twisted by moviebob's bazaar biest opinion. I have nothing wrong with people not liking something but there has to be a reason to this in moviebob's review he has just given why he did not like which is opinion not facts about the film. Yahtzee really tries hard to find good points and the bad ones adding his personal opinion as extra which what a good review should be

"Concentrated stupid" lol you mean you tiny little brain cannot think of nothing else to type!
i have watched his review of up and i got the impression that he got a stiffy from watching a little boy and an old man trapped together in a house you do the math!

No offence you probably a nice guy but reading that you have been watching this thread and quoting every post giving dislikes about this review you have religiously defended moviebob meaning you are a fanboy! I'm sorry to say there is no cure, and you might want to notify your next of kin when moviebob gives his last blowjob of his life to a double barrel shotgun as most likely you will follow in his foot steps.

^lightspeed thats the 2nd post mentioning a shotgun to the throat.

.........I think you have suppressed suicidal thoughts
He's been doing that flash text 'yahtzee' stuff, go on his youtube account and look up his first few vids. He also talks faster when agitaded. Like most humans. He doesn't have those stick figures in there saying funny stuff, he doesn't Hate on every game EVER like a certain Ben Crosshaw, He didnt get famous enough to get here by copying ZP, a show the escapist ALREADY HAS. Do some research and read my above post.

Baby Tea:
I've got to say that I find critics anger over a summer fluff film hilarious.
And that goes for any besides Moviebob.

Come on, movie bob. Don't walk in here, tell me that the first Transformers was the worst movie of the century (Bullshit, by the way), and rant near-endlessly about your hate for the new film, and tell us it's not a fanboy thing. If you walk into any summer film, any one, and expect Oscar winning material with true-to-source script writing, then you're in the wrong business.

Who honestly expects a movie like Transformers (1 or 2), or The Transporter (Any of them), or any summer action fun flick to be good? With great acting? And a good story?

Die hard, The Transporter, Terminator, Transformers, and movies like that all have terrible stories, with terrible acting. But you know why they are good? Because it's good guys kicking the shit out of bad guys. With explosions, bullets, and a tack-on love scene with a good looking girl. Who cares if her personality is that of a soiled bed-sheet in a motel 6? That's not the point of the film!

I loved the Transporter, as an example. Jason Statham kicks the shit out of guys for the entire movie. The acting was so very very bad (Especially the female lead), and the story was laughably awful, but who cares? Jason beat the shit out of guys! Wearing bicycle pedals! On grease! And in a bus! So I love the film. Not because I was moved or engaged, but because it fills a need for ass-kickery that most 'Oscar worthy' film don't even touch.

Don't get me wrong, however, I think Micheal bay is about as creative as a brick in a coma.
But Bob, flat out: You missed the point. You took a summer fluff film, that no-one expects to be this amazingly written piece of cinema, and nitpicked because you hate the director, and you hate the fact that it isn't 'true to source'. The robots have emotions and such? Who cares? I want to see robots blow shit up, not discuss their feelings. I get 'feeling' talk from the movies my wife makes me watch.

Seriously Bob. Didn't like the film? Fine. That's totally fine. But really, You're missing the point.

I can't speak for Bob, but I think you are missing the point he is trying to make slightly. There is no universal movie law that dictates that a movie can not be both smart and fun. Plenty of films are the exception to this made up rule. You can have robots blowing shit up while still enjoying an interesting story.

Transformers even falls flat on the front of a pure action popcorn movie. Movie like Crank work because of their balls to wall pacing, but in Transformers we are stuck with an uninteresting human side plot filled with horribly cliche writing and characters. Any action pacing build up is lost when we have to switch back to them.

It's not unreasonable to expect more out of a film even if you enjoyed it.

Micheal Bay, without the guiding hand of Stephen Speilberg. Oh dear.

Broken Wings:

sneakypenguin:
I never understood the rage against human characters in transformers. I strangely like Shia I think he's a good actor. I couldn't make it though the review cause it seem hate for hates sake. My personal opinion was it was the most fun movie i've seen this summer. But i'm not a critic or cynic....

Do you want to know why people don't like the human characters in a TRANSFORMERS movie? Really you can't figure out why people don't like the fact that the TRANSFORMERS are only in part of their own TRANSFORMER movie, and the rest is filled with a stupid romantic comedy cliche bullshit. I seriously can't figure out why you can't figure out why people dislike people in the TRANSFORMER movie. Anyway...TRANSFORMER!!! Have a nice day.

wow you ended up being funnier than the douchebag who wrote this review who probaly spent every part of his childhood sulking in a corner because the street fighter movie wasnt good this is so bad a review that he doesnt even consider fans of the series I however grew up watching the cartoons and playing with transformers as a kid PLUS your listening to a man who said he hated the first transformers movie should you really listen to his opinion on the sequel, answer NO!!!!!!!if you havent seen the review let me sum it up ahem,TRANFORMERS TRANSFORMERS TRANSFORMERS TRANSFORMERS MICHEL BAY!!!!! ,sorry about that all im saying is that its great movie that was a little racist go see it now also escapist rename this hate mail to michel bay

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