Zero Punctuation: Tales of Monkey Island

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Ugh. This episode of ZP was pretty shitty. The Irish voice was painful to listen to. I hope he won't pull of anything like that again in future episodes.

Stabby Joe:
We should expect Batman next week, it's this summers "on demand" game for a ZP review!

Well, in complete fairness, we shouldn't "expect" anything. especially not if it's "on demand". This is Yahtzee we're talking about. he'll review what he chooses to review, and we should just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Timelord91:
I loved the Irish accent, being part Irish (not the speaking part) I feel I should be offended by the wife beating joke..... but i'm not

Anyways, I've never played adventure games (being too young as stated in the video) so my experience is limited. However I want to try out Monkey Island now

No worries, wife-beating stereotypes exist all around the world (Stella is the drink of choice of brit wife-beaters for example).

Point-and-click adventure games remind me of the golden days when i had time to play ocuntless hours trying to figure out how much wood would the woodchuck chuck if the woodchuck cold chuck wood (yes, this is in monkey island), or the insult-based sword fights... God, i think i'll play it again :D

I think this is the first one of the Zero Punctuation series I haven't really enjoyed. Not only because the Irish accent joke ("Monkey Ireland"?) went on far too long and fell a bit flat anyway, but also because it didn't really seem to say anything insightful about the game.

Still, from the above X-hundred comments it seems like the drooling hordes rated it highly, so maybe I'm no longer in the target demographic?

There were only two Monkey Island games but they were so great that it is a shame that they never made another.

WHAT'S THAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU. I SAID THAT IT IS A SHAME THEY NEVER MADE ANOTHER MONKEY ISLAND.

Conan_Edogawa:

Stabby Joe:
We should expect Batman next week, it's this summers "on demand" game for a ZP review!

Well, in complete fairness, we shouldn't "expect" anything. especially not if it's "on demand". This is Yahtzee we're talking about. he'll review what he chooses to review, and we should just sit back and enjoy the ride.

True but then again in past episodes it's been hinted.

112th!

Haha, rofl! lmao! ... sigh.. idiots.. no more probation, ban them! That's my vote anyway..

Curse of Monkey Island is the best Monkey Island.

*Whistle*

Escape is pretty bad....

Hah! Very well done Yahtzee, funny as always.

Stabby Joe:

Conan_Edogawa:

Stabby Joe:
We should expect Batman next week, it's this summers "on demand" game for a ZP review!

Well, in complete fairness, we shouldn't "expect" anything. especially not if it's "on demand". This is Yahtzee we're talking about. he'll review what he chooses to review, and we should just sit back and enjoy the ride.

True but then again in past episodes it's been hinted.

Also true. I'm not saying there's no chance of him doing a video for it. Just that we shouldn't expect it. After all, he had intended to do the Ghostbusters video a week before he was actually able to, so factors we can't be aware of may prevent a Batman video next week.

Ois:
i cant believe he knows about the rose of tralee.

I know... my missus laughed at that because she was only watching the Rose of Tralee last week.

People need to relax and not be offended by the accent... it's a joke.

Then again, we do drink a lot of Guinness here...

and we have leprachauns

and pots of gold...

come give us your dolla's, American tourists...

Sounded like he was doing an impression of my granddaddy.

Well I've been saying for some time now that there's nothing worse for a franchise then it's fans.

Since I got an account here I might just as well add my two cents of the neverending flood of comments Yathzee will have to read.
I haven't played Episode 2 so far but I just wanted to say that in my humble opinion, Curse of Monkey Island is one of my two favourite adventure games, the other is Day of the Tentacle. Yes, I know that neither Ron Gilbert nor Tim Schafer were involved in it, but to me it's still the high point of the series if nocht the whole genre. The art is fantastic, the music is great, the writing is hilarious and the riddles have that special cartoon charme to them (put tooth in gun, inhale helium, chew gun, gum bubble floats out the window).

Plus, you know, it doesn't screw everythign up like part 4 did. Gosh, I wish that game never would've happened....

Brilliant review as usual. Your irish accent is hilarious.

While Telltale do have one of the "original team" I have to say the new game isn't all that good. I've only played the first episode thus far though. So far they jokes have been predictable to be funny (for the most part), the interface annoying and there's an unexplainable over-reliance on McGuffin items, like a "crystal breaker". I'm not sure I like what they've done with the character of Guybrush either. He just comes off as a jackass now.

Ah, I do love your reviews. They're the highlight of my Wednesday.

Conan_Edogawa:

Stabby Joe:

Conan_Edogawa:

Stabby Joe:
We should expect Batman next week, it's this summers "on demand" game for a ZP review!

Well, in complete fairness, we shouldn't "expect" anything. especially not if it's "on demand". This is Yahtzee we're talking about. he'll review what he chooses to review, and we should just sit back and enjoy the ride.

True but then again in past episodes it's been hinted.

Also true. I'm not saying there's no chance of him doing a video for it. Just that we shouldn't expect it. After all, he had intended to do the Ghostbusters video a week before he was actually able to, so factors we can't be aware of may prevent a Batman video next week.

We'll just have to wait a see... in the mean time there isn't much else in terms of new games, although there are a lot of older games that might make for an interesting and funny review.

WHEN IS HE GOING TO REVIEW BATMAN: ARKHAM ASYLUM?!

Never thought you'd be able to pull such a fast Irish accent. Great stuff. And thanks for letting the world know of the fact that cartoony updates of Monkey Island suck salty chocolate balls with a hint of monkey. Repeat: fact.

Well.

It wasn't funny. To me, anyway.

Next time do the Hileerius Saith Efrikan Excent, at least that way I'll be able to understand half of what youre saying. As far as anything after MI:2 being nothing more than a fan-wank, there were only two more games and while (as a huge MI fan in his late 30s, so I DO remember the Amiga and how awesome Defender of the Crown was) MI:4 was a hideous mess with TWO versions of the 'insulting swordfight', number 3 (Curse of Monkey Island) I have to rate as the best of them. It throws out the aforementioned swordfight sequence, the voice acting was entertaining, the script was hilarious, and it had Gary Coleman in it. The puzzles were relatively unmemorable, but the other MI games only had memorable puzzles because they were tedious, which is generally the only way you can HAVE a memorable puzzle (keeping in mind that the most famous puzzle in PC/console history is the babel fish puzzle from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy).

williebaz:

I know, but it's also on the XBLA, and so was splosion man in the last review

that would be a fail.

No, it isn't. The Tales games are available on the Wii and the PC.

Thanks for playing, try again next time!

dashiz94:
WHEN IS HE GOING TO REVIEW BATMAN: ARKHAM ASYLUM?!

half past the monkey's *** and a quarter to his ****

:D

i found that accent utterly histerical. great vidya

Sylocat:
Am I the only one who couldn't understand a word of what he was saying in the accent? Someone post a transcript.

Ask and you shall recieve
A rough draft of a transcript cause I'm late for class

Tales of Monkey Island (This is a rough draft, please feel free to edit)

Having survived on table scraps for a number of years, the ninety's adventure game tradition is enjoying a bit of a resurgence on PC. The steam listings are getting quite bloated with "new view" adventure stuff like Sherlock Holmes vs "Kathelew" and Nancy Drew meets Mecha Godzilla. It's like, having polished off the buffet at Mr. PC's house hard core action titles are now mostly moved on to Mr. Console's homestead and given adventure games a chance to shoulder their way onto a chair, just in time for the sherry trifle. And if adventure games are coming back then Monkey Island's reappearance was inevitable. Because if adventure games were a nation, then Monkey Island would be on the fucking one dollar bill.

The second installment of the new "Tales of Monkey Island" episode recently came out, so I will review them in two ways. Firstly as a fan of the old series in my normal voice and secondly by their own merits in an ridiculous Irish accent. Monkey Island was part of my childhood. I had the first two on my Amiga. I don't suppose you embryos would remember those times when a game like Monkey Island 2 came on 12 floppy disks and playing it was like operating an old fashioned switch board. The first two games are still timelessly imaginative sparkling and very very funny and therefore have no place in this review.

The problem with the later installments is the usual one when a series has been in cryogenics for a few years. Is that the new developers are almost always fans. So in their eagerness to show "Respect" for their beloved franchise they prefer to lavish it in tongue baths in place of any significant evolution. In the second episode of Tales of Monkey Island a character whistles a snatch of music from Monkey Island 2, which might have been kind of cool if he had not then said, "Gee I wonder where that music's from? Hmm Hmm wink wink slurp slurp tongue bath." I'm reminded of a cat showing affection to its owner by gobbing a dead bird onto his rug.

Oh faith and begora, look at this lovely pirate game I've honestly never heard of. You play a pirate named Guybrush Threepwood. Cuh, what a silly name, who accidentally releases an evil plague upon all his pirate chums or somethin'. I wasn't really paying attention 'cause I was thinking about potatoes at the time. Sadly the situation can't be resolved by murder like with most games and protestants. So the game play revolves around exploration, dialogues, and harvesting every loose object from the four corners of the map and rubbing them all against everythin' else. Have to say, I'm not a big fan of the push-me pull-me mouse movement control. As I was sayin' to my wife Moira the other day, Navigating a 3D environment with a 2D interface is like standing outside the livin' room window and trying to teach your dog to do his poos on the newspaper.

Guybrush Threepwood, named after a combination of a PG Wodehouse character and the deluxe paint file extension, was made out in the original game as a loveable every-lad. Whose determination to be a pirate was strong enough to overpower his weakness, incompetence, hopeless naivety and sveltish girlish figure. In the new series he often seems alarmingly competent, which comes to a head in one particularly cringe worthy episode. When he meets his number one fan, who breathlessly lists his achievements throughout the series and paints the words "Author Surrogate" across the sky in blazing green letters. All characters are free to develop, but in a story that sells itself on wit, a status upgrade can be all that changes a loveable underdog into a smug wise-cracking tosser.

Ooh, shiver me shamrocks, there's some clever puzzle solvin' to be had here to be sure. *There was this one way?* where he gets strapped to a chair and use various signaling devices to a small monkey. But the clever bits are in a minority and there's an over-reliance on puzzle's no more complex then finding a weird shaped key to put in a corresponding hole. Which I think is cheatin' a bit. What is this, Resident Evil? And the inventory system is a bit poor. If you want to combine items, when your stuck and have rubbed every item you have on every standing object in the world, then this is all you have left. You have to go through the little square dance of draggin' both items onto a little combiney machine and pressing the on button. Don't see why we can't click one then the other, seems like that could save you some time which I could have spent beatin' me wife.

The action takes place over several islands, and the feel rather empty with most of the important objects and characters crammed together in one location. In Episode 2 you need to find bait and get your ship repaired. And on one island you find a bait and ship repair shop. It's lazy design dressed up like a joke that doesn't even make sense. Like puttin' a fake mustache on a cat's arse. God, what am I on about. Well speakin' of laziness, I genuinely thought that the three identical characters on the first island would turn out to be a joke. Like they're all the same fellow wearing different clothes. But no, it turns out they were all based on the same model and I wasn't supposed to notice.

The graphics in the early games were about as realistic as the low resolution could get, lending the humor a subversive quality that I feel the more cartoony are style diminishes. That might sound like an elitist oldbie reaching for excuses, and that's probably because it is. Tales of Monkey Island certainly has it's moments and it's ultimately harmless. But really what is the point of it? Monkey Island 2 was tight enough alone to stand as a classic. It even attempted to end in a way that would ensure no more sequels. Because everything after that would be a slimy white burst of fan wank circling the shower drain. And if you really loved the franchise, you'd understand that. OK, it was a bit sad, but some stories need sad endings. Would Romeo and Juliet have been greatly improved by a sequel where they both spring to life and go on a motorcycle tour of the Mediterranean? Sadly we live in a world where some people cannot be dissuaded from bad ideas, like spending half a review doing an offensively bad accent. Guinness, Leprechauns, Rosie, Trillion etc

~cutekittenkyti

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Tales of Monkey Island

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Tales of Monkey Island.

Watch Video

Was that you talking or the voice of an actor?

Everyone under the age of 25 will be scratching their heads...

My soon to be father-in-law is Irish so to make him proud and earn some acceptance I'll be beating my wife. Apparently if you dont she thinks you're gay and leaves you. A funny, funny review.

Yahtzee, get ur arse in gear and review Batman: Arkham asylum.

Other then that another fine review.

Oh and please do more accents.

'Sadly the situation can't be resolved by murder like with most games... and protestants!! ololololo!!!!!

irish accent scares me... rather good :D

Although I couldn't really understand the Irish accent at times, I fully agree with this review (although I refuse to believe that The Curse of Monkey Island was bad; I love that game.)

While it's nice to see adventure games getting the spotlight again, I was really hoping that developers would do this by creating new and original IPs, not by rejuvenating old franchises just to make a quick buck (although if they HAD to rejuvenate one, please, for the love of god, bring back Grim Fandango!)

that was the best scottish-geordie-danish accent I've ever heard! lol

Is it odd that I understood every word of that perfectly. Most probably since I have a friend who is the epitome of irish stereotypes.

I was expecting Arkham Asylum this week but i guess your waiting for it to come out on PC first.

He'll review it when it comes out in the PAL regions. If you've watched some of his other reviews, you'll recall that sometimes release dates in Australia can differ from those in the U.S. by a few months in some cases.

Just be patient, and admire the Yahtzmeister's work up to the present. He'll get around to B:AA.

cutekittenkyti:

Sylocat:
Am I the only one who couldn't understand a word of what he was saying in the accent? Someone post a transcript.

Ask and you shall recieve
A rough draft of a transcript cause I'm late for class

Tales of Monkey Island (This is a rough draft, please feel free to edit)

Having survived on table scraps for a number of years, the ninety's adventure game tradition is enjoying a bit of a resurgence on PC. The steam listings are getting quite bloated with "new view" adventure stuff like Sherlock Holmes vs "Kathelew" and Nancy Drew meets Mecha Godzilla. It's like, having polished off the buffet at Mr. PC's house hard core action titles are now mostly moved on to Mr. Console's homestead and given adventure games a chance to shoulder their way onto a chair, just in time for the sherry trifle. And if adventure games are coming back then Monkey Island's reappearance was inevitable. Because if adventure games were a nation, then Monkey Island would be on the fucking one dollar bill.

The second installment of the new "Tales of Monkey Island" episode recently came out, so I will review them in two ways. Firstly as a fan of the old series in my normal voice and secondly by their own merits in an ridiculous Irish accent. Monkey Island was part of my childhood. I had the first two on my Amiga. I don't suppose you embryos would remember those times when a game like Monkey Island 2 came on 12 floppy disks and playing it was like operating an old fashioned switch board. The first two games are still timelessly imaginative sparkling and very very funny and therefore have no place in this review.

The problem with the later installments is the usual one when a series has been in cryogenics for a few years. Is that the new developers are almost always fans. So in their eagerness to show "Respect" for their beloved franchise they prefer to lavish it in tongue baths in place of any significant evolution. In the second episode of Tales of Monkey Island a character whistles a snatch of music from Monkey Island 2, which might have been kind of cool if he had not then said, "Gee I wonder where that music's from? Hmm Hmm wink wink slurp slurp tongue bath." I'm reminded of a cat showing affection to its owner by gobbing a dead bird onto his rug.

Oh faith and begora, look at this lovely pirate game I've honestly never heard of. You play a pirate named Guybrush Threepwood. Cuh, what a silly name, who accidentally releases an evil plague upon all his pirate chums or somethin'. I wasn't really paying attention 'cause I was thinking about potatoes at the time. Sadly the situation can't be resolved by murder like with most games and protestants. So the game play revolves around exploration, dialogues, and harvesting every loose object from the four corners of the map and rubbing them all against everythin' else. Have to say, I'm not a big fan of the push-me pull-me mouse movement control. As I was sayin' to my wife Moira the other day, Navigating a 3D environment with a 2D interface is like standing outside the livin' room window and trying to teach your dog to do his poos on the newspaper.

Guybrush Threepwood, named after a combination of a PG Wodehouse character and the deluxe paint file extension, was made out in the original game as a loveable every-lad. Whose determination to be a pirate was strong enough to overpower his weakness, incompetence, hopeless naivety and sveltish girlish figure. In the new series he often seems alarmingly competent, which comes to a head in one particularly cringe worthy episode. When he meets his number one fan, who breathlessly lists his achievements throughout the series and paints the words "Author Surrogate" across the sky in blazing green letters. All characters are free to develop, but in a story that sells itself on wit, a status upgrade can be all that changes a loveable underdog into a smug wise-cracking tosser.

Ooh, shiver me shamrocks, there's some clever puzzle solvin' to be had here to be sure. *There was this one way?* where he gets strapped to a chair and use various signaling devices to a small monkey. But the clever bits are in a minority and there's an over-reliance on puzzle's no more complex then finding a weird shaped key to put in a corresponding hole. Which I think is cheatin' a bit. What is this, Resident Evil? And the inventory system is a bit poor. If you want to combine items, when your stuck and have rubbed every item you have on every standing object in the world, then this is all you have left. You have to go through the little square dance of draggin' both items onto a little combiney machine and pressing the on button. Don't see why we can't click one then the other, seems like that could save you some time which I could have spent beatin' me wife.

The action takes place over several islands, and the feel rather empty with most of the important objects and characters crammed together in one location. In Episode 2 you need to find bait and get your ship repaired. And on one island you find a bait and ship repair shop. It's lazy design dressed up like a joke that doesn't even make sense. Like puttin' a fake mustache on a cat's arse. God, what am I on about. Well speakin' of laziness, I genuinely thought that the three identical characters on the first island would turn out to be a joke. Like they're all the same fellow wearing different clothes. But no, it turns out they were all based on the same model and I wasn't supposed to notice.

The graphics in the early games were about as realistic as the low resolution could get, lending the humor a subversive quality that I feel the more cartoony are style diminishes. That might sound like an elitist oldbie reaching for excuses, and that's probably because it is. Tales of Monkey Island certainly has it's moments and it's ultimately harmless. But really what is the point of it? Monkey Island 2 was tight enough alone to stand as a classic. It even attempted to end in a way that would ensure no more sequels. Because everything after that would be a slimy white burst of fan wank circling the shower drain. And if you really loved the franchise, you'd understand that. OK, it was a bit sad, but some stories need sad endings. Would Romeo and Juliet have been greatly improved by a sequel where they both spring to life and go on a motorcycle tour of the Mediterranean? Sadly we live in a world where some people cannot be dissuaded from bad ideas, like spending half a review doing an offensively bad accent. Guinness, Leprechauns, Rosie, Trillion etc

~cutekittenkyti

argh. that has to be one of the most impressive yet equally sad things i've ever seen on the internet. why would you waste your life typing that up... but I can't help but be impressed that you done such a good job! ;)

See how i never play any of these monkey island game its quite hard to put into words what I really feel about but i would like to mention one thing. At least Yahteez did his best to keep my attention and it also makes me curious to see what make these games great but at the same time i don't think i will be play or even like them because the gameplay is outdated. I did lol'd at the part with pineapple and statue.

great accent yathzee

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