Zero Punctuation: Alan Wake

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 NEXT
 

TheGamerist:

Mako SOLDIER:

TheGamerist:
I played a demo of the game, and from that I didn't want to buy it. Good to see that I didn't waste my money

Nice try troll. There is no demo. Jeez, do your research before you start sharting from your mouth :D

I played the demo at a gaming expo actually, so before you start trying to put people down, maybe you should ask how I did it instead of making your own assumptions

Some people just yell troll whenever they want. Just ignore them.

LOL great review.

I agree the only thing good about the game was the envoriment and shading otherwise right up there with Yatzee. It's nothing but a Stephen king novel, a pretty medi-occured one to be honest.

Stephen king is a great horror writter but there was no real need to refference his novels every 20 seconds.

They had forever to make the game epic and it dosen't really live up to their hype. Good game but after a while zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I'm sure it'll be out for PC cause M$S problaly needs the dough rae me.

Great review Yatzee.

Mako SOLDIER:

normaldeviant:
You'd think they could have come up with some more interesting places to explore in roughly a decade.

See above. It did not take 9-10 years to make. It took 5. Play it, and THEN say that the locations weren't interesting. The game is about tension, and the locations work perfectly for that.

See I didn't get any tension at all... either you're more sensitive to it then I am or I'm completely jaded.

Hardcore_gamer:

How does it come Yahtzee never reviews grand strategy games like Hearts of Iron 3? That would be pretty awesome.

In a couple reviews he's mentioned he doesn't even like the Total War series, where you actually get to see entertaining battles take place. I can't imagine what he'd do with a game where all you do is manage a country through a dozen different screens and never actually see any action. Don't get me wrong, I love Hearts of Iron, but I doubt yahtzee would get very far in it. I doubt there'd be much comedy to be had from a review of it anyway, no bad voice actors to make fun of, no shitty combat, no bad storylines. He'd have to make the whole review about how boring it was, and I don't think even he could make that stretch out 5 minutes.

Excellent critique Yahtzee. I especially loved the bit where the game is holding you up to the TV screen saying "Looooook!".

The most truly scary games for me were the Fatal Frame series. In them you are a girl with a ghost-exorcising camera and that's all you have to defend yourself. You can't run away from the ghosts most of the time, instead you have to stare them down through the viewfinder. Most people I know can't stomach watching me play the game, let alone playing it themselves.

Funny review, but I personally love the game to bits.

MrDead:

Mako SOLDIER:

normaldeviant:
You'd think they could have come up with some more interesting places to explore in roughly a decade.

See above. It did not take 9-10 years to make. It took 5. Play it, and THEN say that the locations weren't interesting. The game is about tension, and the locations work perfectly for that.

See I didn't get any tension at all... either you're more sensitive to it then I am or I'm completely jaded.

What difficulty did you play it on? I didn't find it scary at all really on normal, but it becomes practically a different game on Nightmare. It's still balanced and fair, but the Taken actually become threatening and it not only heightens the tension but transforms the combat system into something much more strategic. I wouldn't say I'm more sensitive to it, SH2 is one of my favourite games of all time, so I ought to be desensitised to it rather than the other way around :D I found that when the enemies were a threat I spent a lot of time with precious little ammo, which made exploring dilapidated building etc much more of a threatening prospect.

FargoDog:
I'm sure people can form their opinions of a game without having to listen to Yahtzee.

LOL, that was a good one...

Seriously have you read the comments on most of the videos? There is a whole boatload of mindless worship drones who wont' do anything unless Yahtzee approves. Which means of course they can only play Silent Hill and Saint's Row 2.

Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy his reviews and he usually makes at least a few good points. But if you base your personal game playing/purchasing decisions off of Yahtzee you are as brainless as they come or, like Yahtzee, you really aren't a gamer.
(And by "you" I mean people in general not you specifically FargoDog).

As to Alan Wake specifically. It was a huge letdown compared to what I had hoped it would be, but it was fun. I would recommend renting it first or waiting for it to go down in price at the very least. Many of Yahtzee's points were valid albeit subjective.

These "reviews" are more entertainment than anything else.

I also don't get all the "I'm so glad he ripped [insert game here] a new hole!". It never ceases to amaze me how people have to have their personal opinions validated by someone even slightly "famous". Yeah, we get it, you didn't like [insert game here] and now that Yahtzee has done to it what he has done to almost every game ever made (or will be made) you are part of the elite! Congratulations.

Was anyone else really expecting him to mention Silent Hill 2?

Ha ha very good!

What difficulty did you play it on? I didn't find it scary at all really on normal, but it becomes practically a different game on Nightmare. It's still balanced and fair, but the Taken actually become threatening and it not only heightens the tension but transforms the combat system into something much more strategic. I wouldn't say I'm more sensitive to it, SH2 is one of my favourite games of all time, so I ought to be desensitised to it rather than the other way around :D I found that when the enemies were a threat I spent a lot of time with precious little ammo, which made exploring dilapidated building etc much more of a threatening prospect.

I played it on normal. I play everything on normal then again on hard. See.. that idea doesn't really gel with me so well. I played Fatal Frame on normal and it was tense as all hell (not to mention terrifying). If the game is scary, or has tension, it simply has it. Silent Hill simply has tension. Difficulty has nothing to do with it.

You're right btw this quote function is iffy at best...

See this is why I don't bitch when Yahtzee trashes a 360 game I like because he actually does it more professionally and doesn't exaggerate it's negative qualities (Alan Wake was one of the reasons I wanted a 360 in the first place and even I know the game goes overboard with it's Stephen King references) which baffles me as to why he can't do that with a Wii game review nowadays. I don't bash the pretentious soulless snobs that turned me off of the PS3 24-7.

FargoDog:
I'm sure people can form their opinions of a game without having to listen to Yahtzee.

LOL, that was a good one...

Seriously have you read the comments on most of the videos? There is a whole boatload of mindless worship drones who wont' do anything unless Yahtzee approves. Which means of course they can only play Silent Hill and Saint's Row 2.

Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy his reviews and he usually makes at least a few good points. But if you base your personal game playing/purchasing decisions off of Yahtzee you are as brainless as they come or, like Yahtzee, you really aren't a gamer.
(And by "you" I mean people in general not you specifically FargoDog).

As to Alan Wake specifically. It was a huge letdown compared to what I had hoped it would be, but it was fun. I would recommend renting it first or waiting for it to go down in price at the very least. Many of Yahtzee's points were valid albeit subjective.

These "reviews" are more entertainment than anything else.

I also don't get all the "I'm so glad he ripped [insert game here] a new hole!". It never ceases to amaze me how people have to have their personal opinions validated by someone even slightly "famous". Yeah, we get it, you didn't like [insert game here] and now that Yahtzee has done to it what he has done to almost every game ever made (or will be made) you are part of the elite! Congratulations.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I agree. Maybe he wants Total World Domination and is looking for minons that can serve under him?

I had fun with the game too but after a while it was like zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

i personally like it when he DOES rip a new hole into a game cause sometimes he's right about it but I also disagree with him a few times such as Demon Souls, Infamous, Valkaryia Chronicals, and Neir. There all great games in my opinion.

Here's hoping he does a review for Red Dead Remdemption.

No Harry Bum needed

great episode

Lol, absolutely brutal review. Awesome.

Also, it always pisses me off when people are thinking about buying a game because it looks cool, and then they don't because Yahtzee doesn't like it. Seriously, I like Yahtzee, I think his reviews are hilarious, but if you base all of your video game purchases off of Yahtzee, then you'd have about 2 or 3 current gen games in your collection.

EDIT: Nevermind, Zudarkness beat me to it. That's what I get for only reading the first page of this thread.

Heh, you're starting to really like that horrible blob creature... thing that you use for the uglier characters.

Also, shows what you know! I'M sitting in a corner! You can't sneak up on me!

Shut it, I'm not paranoid.

hahaha this review was alot of fun:P "anyway, he went out for a walk with the pit monster when.." :DD
awsmoe

I am glad to see someone being honest about this game. I failed to see the appeal of this game from day one, and thank you Yahtzee for ripping this game the well-deserved new bunghole for being a giant waste of advertising. This game got all the hype of the movie Titantic, and it appears it is as big of a sinker as that damn ship. Awesome ending too! Laughed my ass off at the fat guy in the halloween mask!

Another amusing review as usual. Epic in-credits remark too...

"Alan Wake" -> replace W with another L -> rearrange letters -> ANAL LEAK

That, Mr. Croshaw, wins the whole vid.

See this is why I don't bitch when Yahtzee trashes a 360 game I like because he actually does it more professionally and doesn't exaggerate it's negative qualities (Alan Wake was one of the reasons I wanted a 360 in the first place and even I know the game goes overboard with it's Stephen King references) which baffles me as to why he can't do that with a Wii game review nowadays. I don't bash the pretentious soulless snobs that turned me off of the PS3 24-7.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good for you ;)

Some of the Sony fanboys are nuts as well.

My favorite review from Yatzee was the Wii Resort game review. How does flying in the air shooting down the other planes ballons in a dog fight actually a sport game? Sounds kinda dangerous expecially for the Wii resort.

MrDead:
I played it on normal. I play everything on normal then again on hard. See.. that idea doesn't really gel with me so well. I played Fatal Frame on normal and it was tense as all hell (not to mention terrifying). If the game is scary, or has tension, it simply has it. Silent Hill simply has tension. Difficulty has nothing to do with it.

You're right btw this quote function is iffy at best...

Personally I think that "scary" is very subjective. I didn't find AW to be scary but that's because my idea of scary isn't catered to by the game. And I'm sure what I find scary might make you laugh and vice versa.

However I will say that there was a lot of great tension in the game, that the atmosphere was superb and some really excellent dialog that, at times, made it at least a bit freaky if not out right pants-shitting scary.

Alan in The Dark or Alone in The Wake whatever you want to call it, had FAIL written in capital letters all over it when Microsoft didn't have the confidence in it to even release it multi-platform. Remedy suddenly announcing that everything that appeared to be great about the game was now removed (open world exploration, day night cycles, random events like tornadoes and rock slides). Then Microsoft cans the PC version and tells them just to finish the damn thing. lol Something awful happened to Alan Wake when it went FAILBox only, that is really the only scary thing about the game, that they actually released it. XD

You are a very funny man, mr. Croshaw

I love how he brought back that figure from Nier to represent the wife. Clever as always. And if Stephen King does get mentioned so shamelessly this might be one to skip.

Considering who regularly he bemoans the lack of storytelling in games it seems a bit odd he's so angry at this one. Some of the characters do look scarier than the monsters but at least they're interesting.

But then if you don't like Stephen King you're not going to like it, so there's a big surprise.

Darkness62:
Alan in The Dark or Alone in The Wake whatever you want to call it, had FAIL written in capital letters all over it when Microsoft didn't have the confidence in it to even release it multi-platform. Remedy suddenly announcing that everything that appeared to be great about the game was now removed (open world exploration, day night cycles, random events like tornadoes and rock slides). Then Microsoft cans the PC version and tells them just to finish the damn thing. lol Something awful happened to Alan Wake when it went FAILBox only, that is really the only scary thing about the game, that they actually released it. XD

I couldn't agree more.

"Then Alan Wake was savaged by the biggest and most sexually frustrated bear that ever lived."

That is the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen on the Escapist.

RJ Dalton:
To be fair, not all of Stephen King's novels are about a writer with personal problems being haunted by an ancient, unknowable evil in small town America. Sometimes, the evil is knowable.
And his best novels weren't anything like that. At which point I take the opportunity to recommend the Dark Tower books to anyone bothering to read my post.

Lol yeah, not that many of his books are about that. Quite a few of them are set in the same small town, but yeah, still. Plus the Dark Tower series is awesome.

A very good review though, even if we disagree on the quality of Stephen King's books. :P

Hiroshi Mishima:

Moosh50:
The biggest problem Yatzhee has with horror games is that he plays them on Normal difficulty. Why the fuck would anyone do that? It's survival horror, but the Normal difficulty setting makes it a third-person shooter with bad illumination.

I find it funny that people still seem to be under the impresion that "the harder a game is the more fun it is" because really that's not entirely true. There's a lot of games that I love playing which you would never ever catch me playing on the harder difficulty settings. More often the case it would make me dislike the game because however good I may be on an Easy or Normal setting, I would quickly become shit on a higher one. That would lead to a lack of enjoyment as I would probably have difficulty adjusting to a higher setting.

Not to mention as someone else said, with all the other stuff a lot of people have going on in their lives, the Normal setting is as high as on really needs to go. Unless you're so damn good at every game in existence (which I'd probably call a lie, because I've yet to meet someone who is perfect at EVERY game, rather than at genres) that nothing short of Battletoads-esque difficulty will satisfy you.

Sorry, wasn't trying to say that at you specifically, it's just that the gaming world in general these days seems to have a misplaced or at least confused understanding of the world difficulty. I've been playing games since the early 80's, and I've noticed an increasing trend in the last 10 years for people to complain about games being too easy. Compared to the kind of "ha ha ha fuck you" difficulty back on the Atari and NES days, games that are easy by design can be refreshing and more enjoyable than getting a brick to the face. Which is certainly what a lot of games feel like these days, sometimes even on the normal settings.

Compare Megaman 2 to Megaman X8, and you'll notice they're actually getting harder. Sorry, went off on a bit of a rant here..

I'm not saying that games should be harder. I'm saying that when played on Normal, survival horror games tend to become so easy that they stop being scary, which is a pretty big downside for a horror game.

Lots of shit talk this week. I wonder if there's a reason behind that :S.

YES YOU HAVE MENTIONED THAT YOU WROTE A NOVEL AND YOU CAN PRE-ORDER IT FROM AMAZON AND AMAZON.CO.UK!!! Good review though :) I enjoyed the bad decisions bit xD

Zudarkness:

Here's hoping he does a review for Red Dead Remdemption.

http://twitter.com/YahtzeeCroshaw

Red Dead Redemption bugged out and now I can't play any further. Hooray! Next game, please.

Inb4 shitstorm.

Carnagath:

Zudarkness:

Here's hoping he does a review for Red Dead Remdemption.

http://twitter.com/YahtzeeCroshaw

Red Dead Redemption bugged out and now I can't play any further. Hooray! Next game, please.

Inb4 shitstorm.

Aw. I rebooted and it bugged back in again.
12:09 AM May 28th via Twitterrific

Fun review as always.

So now that the creepy skull-ghoul has been used more than once, when can we expect an adorably creepy plush of it? And will it only be sold in stores hidden in dark atmospheric forests which will soon be mowed down so the trees may be used to make Stephen King novels in the new Stephen King book assembly line they will be putting up that runs right behind the creepy skull-ghoul store?

Also can I reserve it online on Amazon.com and Amazon.uk along with the book?

Catalyst6:
My my, that book gets plugged more than southern oil leak.
I suppose for good reason though.

I would by Alan Wake, and I might even enjoy it, if suddenly Microsoft didn't decide to do the whole "platform dedication" thing. Why couldn't they whore themselves out to every passing system like they usually do...

Some added incentive to actually own an xbox 360? What's the point in buying an xbox 360 if it'll plays all the same games as pc but has almost none of the practical day to day uses? Might as well just combine the money from getting a non-gaming pc and a console together and get a gaming pc. With 360 exclusives there's actually some reason to ever buy a 360.

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here