Zero Punctuation: Alpha Protocol

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Poncing. Poncey poncey ponce.

Man, I'm gonna be using that word a lot now. Thank you, Yahtzee.

forgot to add, it's not a pmc, it's a weapons contractor. But yeah... whatever.

Lithran:
Great reveiw. And having played it...yes, the story is confusing near the end. Mind you, not like it made much sense at the start anyway.

i did too but parker explains it ALL in very deep detail at the last level.

Best for a long time. Hat king is back.

FallenMessiah88:
A spy RPG you say? Sounds intriguing! Whats that you say? The game sucks? Oh well...more wasted potential...

he says everything sucks. for a yahtzee review, this game is fantastic. why? because if he is nice in any way shape or form he could lose his job because nice reviews are not as funny. he must really like this game to put his job on the line or get another scolding.

"I literally fucked her brains out"

win as Always Yahtzee

Cheers!

Dear Yahtzee, you made me spit on my desk and that hasn't happened since around 1998 and the second Duke Nukem Forever engine switch. I'm not sure if I want to kill you or kiss you but I definitely want to ksomething you.

ps you're a handsome fellow but scrap all that talk about the kiss, i'm afraid our facial hair might entwine and make things awkward. chin up there's other anonymous fans out there.

I was serious about the spitting part, though. The dialogue with the lady and the brains was good stuff. I'm not frequently caught by surprise by anything that amusing, kudos to you and your hat good sir

This counts as Yahtzee liking it by the way

The part with the Neutral , Good and Asshole cracked me up *Rofl* .. Well played good sir , well played

And you didn't even mention the enormous amount of bugs in this game :o
And that Alpha Protocol is named correctly because it still looks like it is in the Alpha phase!

The review for this game reminds me of Yahtzee's review for Bayonetta, in that "gameplay was good; would take multiple replays to understand." This raises a good discussion point in creating reply values for games. Moral choice systems are too obvious (and asinine) to justify multiple playthroughs; it's a concept that's been overdone. Is "forcing" replay value with a convoluted story arc acceptable? I don't mind it, but I'm seeing a lot of games like these lately.

Funny enough I might actually buy it on this review, at least check it out.

I know that Yatzee i capable of being much more hostile than this. Its not like im using his reviews to devide whether i buy a game or not. Because like you mentioned, they are more about being funny than anything else. Despite all that though alot of the critisms he has towards a game i usually find to be true.

I've learnt the less time Yahtzee spends on a comment, the more important it is. I think he devotes most of the review to humour and "things we can learn" and if you listen you can pick out tiny sentences, which are what you listen too. Uncharted 2 he yacked it off for a whole review and then quickly mentioned it was charming and very very fun. This one, he praised for a whole review, and quickly added that it was crap at the end. At the beginning of Mass Effect he briefly mentioned just how deep it was

I've got no problem with it, it works as entertainment and a review. I think people miss the point though sometimes

Huh? The story isn't about a PMC. I mean, There's a PMC in it, but the story is about an Arms Manufacturer doing the War for Fun and Profit thing.

wow the revivew almost actually made me want to go and buy the game for some odd reason. Probally cause I want to ponce someone.

Oh dear, not a single word about the broken combat, the non existent AI and the tons of bugs of all shapes and forms here, huh? Of course, with RDR we needed to come up with bugs that don't exist but sound funny in order to mock it, and write a whole article based on how the game could have been slightly good if only it was a Sims 3 expansion set in the desert. Oh Yahtzee, you special little flower!

image

That is all.

Whyfor cannot see video?
Getting some error text about it having been removed from the servers or something =(
Sad panda indeed!

Soviet Heavy:

Sinclose:
Why the hell was Kevin Conroy, the voice of Batman in the DCAU in the spectrum of 'dicks and assholes'?

Other than that, was a great video. Keep up the good work Yahtzee, and good luck with your book! ^_^

Because, Kevin Conroy plays Batman as an asshole. Did you watch Batman Beyond? He's a complete dick!

Um...Batman IS an asshole...you do read the comics, right? I personally don't get this either. I've been fortunate enough to meet Kevin Conroy, and he was totally awesome.

In all honesty, I warned a Japanese girlfriend to NOT buy this game. She did it, forced herself to play it and in the end came up to me saying it was utter crusty old shait. And I for once, full-heartly agree. This game is just..pathetic.

Nice review,I enjoyed the game.

Early July?!

Surely you can import?

Someone donate him a copy.

BrotherRool:
This one, he praised for a whole review, and quickly added that it was crap at the end.

A "poorly balanced" game isn't necessarily crap any more than a well-balanced game is necessarily fantastic. And wasn't the last thing he actually drew attention to at the end the game's replay value? I can't remember. I watched it yesterday in a haze, which means I might as well have dreamt the entire thing.

I think it's pretty awesome how this review can be interpreted so differently. Thank goodness Croshaw doesn't give "scores". It makes everything so much more fun.

Good review overall, but I thought it was finally going to be Forgotten Sands this week :S

That's one of his outright foolish "critiques". The dialogue system of Alpha Protocol is intuitive, intelligent and original. All he's saying is "I don't like this well-established way how agents and spies talk in movies". Well, shame that not everyone talks like him.

I was lookng forward to this game untill now. My friend got it and if he likes it I might get it.

Carnagath:
Oh dear, not a single word about the broken combat, the non existent AI and the tons of bugs of all shapes and forms here, huh? Of course, with RDR we needed to come up with bugs that don't exist but sound funny in order to mock it, and write a whole article based on how the game could have been slightly good if only it was a Sims 3 expansion set in the desert. Oh Yahtzee, you special little flower!

Well, as long as somebody's behind is still sore the week after a review I say he's doing his job properly. But who cares about Yahtzes opinion of Redeadre anyway? It's not like that game needs any more advertisement or scrutiny from the press. I'd say his effort reviewing that game could have been better spent on something more exotic.

Alpha Protocol is a great game. It does have some flaws (without which it'd be an awesome game). And the PC version suffers a bit from having the settings tuned down to match the console versions. With a bit of tweaking the .ini files, the game looks much better.

Many of the scathing reviews seem to be looking at it from an FPS (or Mass Effect 2, which is more FPS than RPG) perspective, and sure, from that perspective the shooting and AI is underwhelming. But that's the point. It's not an FPS, it's an RPG, and your shooting abilities are supposed to suck until you put enough points into them. When you judge it by the appropriate standards, it's excellent.

(Interestingly, most of the PC reviews that I've seen have been fairly positive; it's the console reviews that seem to be dragging the scores down.)

And the dialogue system is great (although he's right that it does suffer from Mass-Effect-itis, where what you think you're going to say doesn't always mesh with what you actually say, although the JB triad does always give you a hint of the tone you'll use).

The Brayko boss fight does suck at first, especially for stealth or melee focused characters. But you should never focus exclusively on melee -- you should always have some points in at least one weapon. Then it's just a matter of learning his attack patterns and working out when to attack and when to dodge -- just like every other boss fight ever. (And, if you have the right contacts, you can dramatically shorten this fight.)

Allan Foe:

Carnagath:
Oh dear, not a single word about the broken combat, the non existent AI and the tons of bugs of all shapes and forms here, huh? Of course, with RDR we needed to come up with bugs that don't exist but sound funny in order to mock it, and write a whole article based on how the game could have been slightly good if only it was a Sims 3 expansion set in the desert. Oh Yahtzee, you special little flower!

Well, as long as somebody's behind is still sore the week after a review I say he's doing his job properly. But who cares about Yahtzes opinion of Redeadre anyway? It's not like that game needs any more advertisement or scrutiny from the press. I'd say his effort reviewing that game could have been better spent on something more exotic.

Opinions =/ sore behind :)

Mukil:
wow he didn't rip on it as much as every other reviewer. I felt he thot it was an ok game, even tho he said it was poor

I got the feeling he kind of liked it too. I was a little surprised when he said it was poor and unbalanced just because he hadn't really said anything too bad about it up to that point.

This was better than your last 10 or 20 vids put together.
Awesome, I was constantly laughing through the entire thing xD

Mukil:
wow he didn't rip on it as much as every other reviewer. I felt he thot it was an ok game, even tho he said it was poor

Yeah, I got that feeling too.
That he smears so much poo at everything, that faint damning with praise made it seem like an overall positive negative review.

I had so much optimistic for this, then it came out, now I think it would be worth a $20 or so sometime down the line.

Enigma6667:
Poncing. Poncey poncey ponce.
Man, I'm gonna be using that word a lot now. Thank you, Yahtzee.

I use it a lot as well... but because of Spike from Buffy.

I don't plan on playing this but I'm glad it was released because that was hilarious.

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