Zero Punctuation: Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days

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How did Kane and Lynch get such good reveiws from some publications? The game is honestly horrendous, it'a borderline irredeemable. Myabe they thought they would be fired and have to go off and found a mildly more obscure gaming website that includes the name of some kind of explosive, such is the rule when being made unelpolyed by a Kane and Lynch game. Or so im told.

Personally i think Sqeenix needs to buck up it's ideas when it comes to action games becuase even at their best they never really seem to really nail it.

The car accident metaphor was perhaps a little tone deaf, given recent events, but overall a pretty good review. Classic Yahtzee.

Now this may reflect badly on me as a person but what I liked about the first game and the second one until it went sky-scraper-helicopter-batshit-wacko, is the fact the the game feels so inhospitable and unfriendly. I mean it's not the dificulty really it's just that most shooters now-days ESPECIALLY the "grity and realistic" ones are "grity and realistic" untill your partner starts wise-cracking about the head-shot you just pulled of or half-way through the main "anti-hero" pulls a nice guy move out of his ass by saving one damsel in distress or another in a sad atempt to make your homicidal maniac be slightly better than all the other homicidal maniacs you shoot and will subsequintly betray.

While indeed K&L 2 is inferior to the first one I still liked the series the first one especially, because it has no such pretences. You're an unlikable fuck who's partner is another unlikable fuck and all that is happening to you, you most surely deserve. And the same thing reflects in the combat you get shot you either have to pray a partner sticks you with a nedle before you breath your hatefull last or(in the second game) crawl back to relative saftey before you get shreded to little psychopathic pieces. So man up because the world hates you and so deoes everyone in it.

Oh well, maybe K&L just happened to be "THAT" game for me. You know the game everyone hates and only manages to appeal to you, well it happens. In other news awsome review that is geniuenly funny, bravo.

Is anyone else surprised that he didn't mention the naked scene?

I was expecting him to have an absolute field day with that.

literally gaged on "deep fried tampons"

CosmicCommander:

BlueInkAlchemist:
Rolling on the floor, laughing. Not even going to abbreviate that, it's worth every word to say.

The final joke is priceless.

I second this statement.

Was waiting through the whole review to see if he would mention Duke

Making wednesdays since I can remember, last week felt weird clicking around on the escapist humming and harring, hoping your holiday was cut short by pirates so you had to come back and entertain us.

Love the reviews and thanks to the psychonauts review me and my friend have enjoyed multiple hours of genius fun. Cheers Mate

You can turn off the drunk cameraman but the camera is still pretty awful and the game is still pretty zzzzzzzz.

Legend of J:

KimberlyGoreHound:
That's why they were put on probation. People who add absolutely nothing with a comment to a ZP video at a time which it would be impossible to have seen any substantial amount of the video get put on probation. Happens every Wednesday.

And you were one of them this week lol.

Haha, yeah. Dunno why though...I made my post during the final seconds before the closing credits. oh well.

True, honest review. I agree that this game is fucking awful, dull and boring. Nothing new or old is made in this game, no highlights, no interesting sequences, I've roughly forgotten most fragments of the game. There's nothing memorable about it.

Although for a reference, might belong on the "How not to do it." pile that fits comfortably between the first Kane & Lynch and say... Two Worlds.

Was the ZP Lynch deliberately designed to look like Bill Bailey?

That, my Pedigree Chums, is the best ZP for a long time... as should be evident from the fact that I'm actually bothering to comment on it, something I never do.

Best review in a while.

Yahtzee is so angry he sounds like me when I talk about most fiction/poetry published these days. If only there was a market for book reviews along the lines of Zero Punctuation...ah, a man can dream though, a man can dream :)

Is it really as horrible as he said it is? or is he just dispensing the usual bile?

I'm not sure anymore it actually seemed to me like he was agonizing at the very mentioning of the game.

So to those who played it, is it really THAT BAD?

First of all why have so many people being put on probation for no apparent reason?
And wow another great review yahtzee you sure tore it up there:P

I hope Yahtzee doesn't have any desire to review Other M...

Now is this worse than too human. I haven't played either of these games but he really laid into it. Great as always. on another note i hope he reviews amnesia dark descent.

ilovemyLunchbox:

Rayne Logan:

ilovemyLunchbox:
You can tell when Yahtzee is simply being a prat for the sake of Zero Punctuation, and he was clearly legitimately ripping on this game. He's never been so openly mad at a video game as he is in this video.

Maybe, but the game acctually is bad.

I inferred that.

No, you implied that.

KimberlyGoreHound:
That's why they were put on probation. People who add absolutely nothing with a comment to a ZP video at a time which it would be impossible to have seen any substantial amount of the video get put on probation. Happens every Wednesday.

User was put on probation for: Zero Punctuation: Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days. (7 days)

The humour contained in this one comment will haunt me forever, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

"Spunk instead of AIR!"
Oh, if only we could see the bil- oh wait, it's all over Kane and Lynch 2's camera.

I hope you wont get offed because of your review anyways great as always. And keep that bucket on you head! You never now when they might strike.

This (sort of) reminds me of a book I (tried to) read once called The Sad Tale of the Brothers Grossbart. (Yes, really.) The whole gimmick was that the two "heroes" were absolutely disgusting; raping, murdering, the whole thing, and apparently you're supposed to read it and go "Oh, those wacky Grossbarts" and maybe some 1950's sitcom music would play. Instead you get to a scene where they burn young children alive in a house while restraining their father outside so he can hear them screaming and pleading, all just "because". Characters that are unpleasant for comedic purposes are still unpleasant, and it's hard to want to do anything but applaud when they leave the stage.

I bring it up both because Yahtzee points out the two characters in this game learn or achieve nothing by the end, and because when I mentioned to someone previously that neither Kane OR Lynch seemed very likable, was told "They're not supposed to be". Well, why the hell do I want to play a game about them, then? At least it looks like my snobbery/whining hasn't made me miss out on much.

I suggest you review Yar's Revenge for Atari 2600 to cross out the Y game and.... Q-Bert for the Q! :D

That's true about the camera, it made me Seasick... and basically this game is a "MASS MURDERER" achievement if you had a result like in the Hitman Series... Why aren't they releasing Hitman games instead of that RUN/GUN crap !

Scrumpmonkey:
How did Kane and Lynch get such good reveiws from some publications? The game is honestly horrendous, it'a borderline irredeemable. Myabe they thought they would be fired and have to go off and found a mildly more obscure gaming website that includes the name of some kind of explosive, such is the rule when being made unelpolyed by a Kane and Lynch game. Or so im told.

Personally i think Sqeenix needs to buck up it's ideas when it comes to action games becuase even at their best they never really seem to really nail it.

Ahem.... the publishers payed off reviewers to give the game good reviews and thus when it was discovered they did this they all got fired.

Lol I loved Kane and Lynch 2 :P It's flawed, sure, but the I loved the look and atmosphere. But damn Yatzhee, you sure know how to tear it too pieces. But I really wish people would stop blaming the developers for Gerstmann's firing.

Dear lord! This has to be the harshest review you've done yet Yahtzee! I'm not even going to rent this game in fear that you'll personally come around to my house and call me something nasty.

My word, that's the angriest review I've seen in months!

Uberman5000:
Kane and Lynch are such incredibly repulsive characters. I feel like they should be driving a beat-up Chevrolet truck from 1980s barrelling down an unpaved road to check on their weed grow in the middle of the country. How do these people get the entire Chinese army after them?

The first mission is Lynch dragging Kane around and chasing some guy down for no reason other than "I gotta settle things with this guy! I'll tell you later!" (he doesn't). At the end, the guy holds a woman hostage and our duo just kills her (Hahaha! Holding hostages! Like we care!). Turns out that woman's the daughter of some corrupt politician/crime lord. Whoops!

I knew that this game was going to be pretty lambasted. I watched a Let's Play of the game and was less than impressed. Problem with the game is that it takes the Dark 'n Gritty premise way too seriously, resulting in characters that you don't care for (at best, they have crappy backstories that tell how much their lives suck). Even Gerstmann's only main compliment of the game is the visual style (even then he stated it's nauseating). And I would have thought that Yahtzee would have made way more fat jokes at Gerstmann's expense. Not saying that he cares much for the whole business, but fat jokes seem like the kinda jokes he'd use when he can.

The first one did have its plus side as it led to the birth of giantbomb.com IMO the best gaming site on the net (sorry escapist)

"So how about that Duke Nukem Forever business hmm" Haha, epic ending. Loved that review, now I'm definately not going to buy it just for the multiplayer. Needed a sixth opinion...

Spunk instead of air. Yahtzee's best quote so far methinks. Also expect a P45 from Russ.

Who else reckons that the cartoon of Lynch looks like Bill Bailey? :D

I love it when Yahtzee gets a hold of an unequivocally shitty game. Always much fun and many laughs to be had.

I'm glad to see the vacation revitalized you, Yahtzee. Thanks for the video.

Damn you Square Enix! *shakes fist at their general direction*

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