Critical Miss: #39

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Eric the Orange:

Rauten:
Hahah! I have Gandhi bordering my territory. Which consists of many of his towns, including Delhi.
He waged war, I beat his sorry ass, I offered peace in exchange of some of his gold, he rejected it.
Now he just has a few small towns, and he's still a warmonger. Whoever coded his personality must have copypasted someone else. Like Genghis Khan.

Really? That's weird, the one time I played against him he only had one city and no troops. Of course Montezuma took him over eventually but he never declared war.

In mine, he first declared a pact of cooperation, then broke it, then next turn he declares war at the same time as Washington (I suppose they entered together in it). Not only a warmonger, but a dirty backstabber too.

blakfayt:

nmaster64:

Experimental:
So who's Japan figurehead? Tojo?

Shoulda been Koizumi.

image

It should be Nobunaga from Samurai warriors, for those who don't know, that version of him is a Sith, he has a long sword that radiates evil and he can force float and throw giant black orbs of death and destruction.
Great comic, as usual, loved the last panel, "several" I can hear that as all menacing in my mind, and it makes me lol.

In case no one stated it yet: The figurhead of Japan is indeed Oda Nobunaga...depicted as you would expect a medieval japanese Person. I couldn't bear some anime-douchebag leading japan. Although we all can agree that Nobunaga from Sengoku Basara would be awesome nonetheless.

Ah, the Civ versions of world leaders. They're so funny, each of them, but for very different reasons.

Some act surprisingly realistic. I remember getting into an arms race against Stalin in Civ IV, and having him remind me that he had nukes every time I entered diplomacy with him. Likewise, Lincoln was suitablly diplomatic, but wasn't afraid to kick ass (usually with me as an ally).

Some of them act like the complete opposite of their historic personalities. Gandhi is, of course, the biggest offender here. Joining him, we have peace-loving Napoleon; Weak-Willed and spineless worms Otto von Bismark and Frederick The Great; meek and mild Genghis Khan; and that annoying nuke-hoarding, back-stabbing bastard: Winston Churchill.

And, of course, some leaders just have such strange and/or hilarious personalities that, regardless of how accurate they are, are a blast to interact with. Catharine The Great is always funny with dialogue. Roosevelt has a habit of being the richest man in the world (somehow), and attempts to buy nearly everything off of me (10000 Gold for Radio? Seriously!?). And don't even get me started on how Shaka Zulu runs the UN...
And of course, Montezuma is a prick (the world's biggest douchebag, bar none).

Man, I love Civ IV...

Can't wait to get Civ V!

I always thought the rulers in civilizations were just to give some form of face to the nations. Without distiquishable and rememberable characters the game would immediately lose all its diplomatic value. In my playthroughs i've spared the rod and traded with the leaders that i find respectable and fearful of me.

But anyways, I think we shouldn't try to compare the leaders with the real world ones. For all i care they could be famous movie stars as long as they are different from one another.

The Critic:
And don't even get me started on how Shaka Zulu runs the UN...

He must've figured he could do a better job of it than Kofi Annan! :D

Hah, loved this one. I bet you had quite a lot of fun drawing Ghandi as a warlord aswell.

Ok...why has this not been posted yet?

Anyway, brilliant comic. Absolutely hilarious and perfectly true. Actually, I wouldn't be suprised if a controvery shows up now that everyone has pointed this out.

Gandhi was actually a bigoted racist who enjoyed bathing naked with young girls, so I don't see how this is really much of a stretch.

dat punchline,

wat

At least that will bring up the price of his gun.

I didn't play Civ V (civv? savvy?) but in earlier versions even if you were playing nice as Ghandi he'd still sound like an ass. 'We are interested in peaceful trading... remember that our words are backed up by NUCLEAR WEAPONS!'

Still I never saw any reason to play as anything other than precolombian mesoamerican peoples. EVERYONE ELSE SUCKS SO THERE.

Ghandi was always hilarious. Motherfucker kept trying to tankrush me in Civ4, which isn't advisable against my german empire. Heh, I kept destroying his land improvements with my airforce and navy, while fending off his assaults. HE.JUST.WOULDN'T.STOP. Hell, even nuking him didn't seem to be a discouragement...
He hasn't done anything in Civ5 yet, except pestering me about open borders...

hahah this is just GREAT! lololololol

AWESOME.

Can't this come to consoles?!

EDIT: Or to Max?!

Excellent.

Also, this:

The_root_of_all_evil:
For some reason Civilization seems to miss out some of the more notable historic rulers as well.

Adolf, Pol Pot, Stalin - but keeps in all the "nice" dictators.

And then allows them to threaten you openly with nukes.

I'm seeing a minor problem here Sid...

I invaded his capital when he had no other cities and I took it over. I'm as we speak building a road from Delhi to my capital.

This comic was beyond awesome. I'm tempted to order the full version of Civ 5 off of Steam right now just to play as India.

This reminds me of Ghandi 2, from that movie with Weird Al.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfvLcozLwtE

The Civ 5 Gandhi seems to cut between hard-ass and peaceful at whim. Sometimes he's all like, "we are a peaceful nation, here. Have some corn." Then when he declares war on you, he's all like "...whoops."

Then he smirks evilly and smokes a massive pipe while wearing a top-hat and monocle. (I wish.)

Slice of fried Gold.

Kavonde:

Experimental:
So who's Japan figurehead? Tojo?

Oda motherfucking Nobunaga. Because, you know. He totally won the Sengoku wars.

Sadly, he's not able to fly or create glowing black energy swords, but he does give the Japanese the Bushido ability, which is basically the Law of Conservation of Ninjitsu in Civ form.

You bastard.

Hah have to love the gleam on his glasses at the end, not as insane as the clone high Gandhi, but still very awesome

I wish I had several concubines at my disposal

fanklok:

Kavonde:

Experimental:
So who's Japan figurehead? Tojo?

Oda motherfucking Nobunaga. Because, you know. He totally won the Sengoku wars.

Sadly, he's not able to fly or create glowing black energy swords, but he does give the Japanese the Bushido ability, which is basically the Law of Conservation of Ninjitsu in Civ form.

You bastard.

Mwahaha.

I didnt now that Ghandi could be that badass.

I so need to get this game.

Well... no one chimed in on today's song lyrics. That's a huge shame because the band in question are fucking awesome.

Educate thyselves.

And now we wait for the inevitable expansion packs and hope the Dutch show up again...

Please.

In the meantime I'll be the Mongol madman going for a diplomatic victory. Because that's just the way I roll.

Rauten:
Now he just has a few small towns, and he's still a warmonger. Whoever coded his personality must have copypasted someone else. Like Genghis Khan.

It's true for every iteration of Civ. Ghandi is a warmongerer.

I believe they looked at the history of India to determine the behaviour of the tribe and then picked the most iconic Indian to be their leader. And they ended up being wildly mismatched as historically India likes a bit of a scuffle (preferrably with Pakistan).

Experimental:
So who's Japan figurehead? Tojo?

Haven't played 5 yet but its always been Leyasu Tokugawa in previous Civs. Though in 4 you could choose between a few, can't remember the other ones though (Nobunaga for one probably).

Oh heck, ninja'd and checked up. It's Nobunaga for Civ 5. Wouldn't have guessed.

Kurt Cobain DID sing other people's songs while he was alive. In MTV Unplugged he covers David Bowie and The Vaselines.

Those heads are indeed beautiful.

remmeber kids
Gandhi>you

Ironically enough only a few weeks ago I handed in my 1500 word report on Gandhi, the fact that I did all that makes this comic all the funnier.

This is what would always happen whenever Ghandi was in any of my Civilization games.

Comic was hilarious, but I am once more reminded of why I have avoided the Civ series like the plague my entire life.

RebellionXXI:
SO YOU WANT A PIECE OF GHANDI, HUH? YOU THINK GHANDI IS A SISSY BOY?

Good fight, good night!

Definitely one of the funnier comics. Gandhi is not a man to be trifled with.

The_root_of_all_evil:
For some reason Civilization seems to miss out some of the more notable historic rulers as well.

Adolf, Pol Pot, Stalin - but keeps in all the "nice" dictators.

And then allows them to threaten you openly with nukes.

I'm seeing a minor problem here Sid...

maybe what they should do is change your avatar based off your actions
IF your playing germany for example , your avatar starts off as a famous neutral german, but turn into a jewish hating warlord and your avatar turns into hilter , turn into a nice friendly neighbour and your avatar turns into famous nice german.
Sorry i don't know any names its 3am

odanhammer:

The_root_of_all_evil:
For some reason Civilization seems to miss out some of the more notable historic rulers as well.

Adolf, Pol Pot, Stalin - but keeps in all the "nice" dictators.

And then allows them to threaten you openly with nukes.

I'm seeing a minor problem here Sid...

maybe what they should do is change your avatar based off your actions
IF your playing germany for example , your avatar starts off as a famous neutral german, but turn into a jewish hating warlord and your avatar turns into hilter , turn into a nice friendly neighbour and your avatar turns into famous nice german.
Sorry i don't know any names its 3am

Willy Brandt would probably work, maybe Helmut Khol or Angela Merkel too ;)

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