Escape to the Movies: Monsters

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roostuf:
Why not when space dragons starts making a new home in new york on they range from 30-60 meters in length....holy shit! That is gold mine material i got to call James Cameron, it'll stop him from making avatar2 and Movie Bob can watch a real monster movie everyone wins!

they already made reign of fire.

Warachia:

Duffeknol:
don't know if I got ninja'd yet, but:

'The director himself has said it's an internet rumor. He figured the equipment they used cost that, not the making of the movie itself. The movie itself comes under $500,000.

Best Buy asked them how much their equipment for this project cost and they figured it was around $15,000.

No one can make a movie for $15,000 in this day and age. '

Paranormal activity, budget: around $15,000. You don't need a giant studio to make everything.

Agreed, note the quotation marks, not my own words. Still, big mistake in Bob's review. He needs to do his research more.

Moon_Called:
I'm sure there were pictures of Miss Hathaway in an actual shirt that Bob easily could of used. Some of them much more elegant than attractive than a corset. But no. He chose to use a classless picture of her poorly photoshoped to show her holding coolwhip, which implies a fetish and was completely unnecessary.

And if you think he's not sexist, let me refer you to the Piranhas review, where he blatantly and condescendingly spelled out that lesbian porn is fun. Or his review of Salt where the whole thing was a bunch of pictures of the lead actress in, how surprising, lingerie. That's sexism, and I don't care how you rationalize it to your fanboy minds. MovieBob is a pervert with an ego the size of Jupiter and the self-control of a grade seven boy. People like him are one of the reasons there are so few female nerds, and it's a shame the Escapist isn't telling him to grow up.

Didn't realize finding people attractive was sexist. I thought it was, I dunno, natural and in keeping with propagating our race. And lesbian porn IS fun, fun to watch and I'm quite certain is fun to get paid money to do. Again, where is the oppression? Feminism is, or rather WAS, about providing equal opportunity to women and to allow them to make choices in their lives without being looked down upon for their gender. A feminist could CHOOSE to work in big business or CHOOSE to be a housewife, and that was ok. Same as they can CHOOSE to wear provocative clothing or engage in pornography and that's cool too because they have the freedom to choose that. Now feminism is all about cranky bitches who see that women now get equal pay, MORE than equal treament under the law and practically no barriers to their careers....and they still want to complain in order to draw attention to themselves.

So Bob shows attractive women in his videos, is there a problem with that? As if a female reviewer would never show pics of shirtless hot men in a review of say, Twilight?

JaredXE:
Didn't realize finding people attractive was sexist. I thought it was, I dunno, natural and in keeping with propagating our race. And lesbian porn IS fun, fun to watch and I'm quite certain is fun to get paid money to do. Again, where is the oppression? Feminism is, or rather WAS, about providing equal opportunity to women and to allow them to make choices in their lives without being looked down upon for their gender. A feminist could CHOOSE to work in big business or CHOOSE to be a housewife, and that was ok. Same as they can CHOOSE to wear provocative clothing or engage in pornography and that's cool too because they have the freedom to choose that. Now feminism is all about cranky bitches who see that women now get equal pay, MORE than equal treament under the law and practically no barriers to their careers....and they still want to complain in order to draw attention to themselves.

So Bob shows attractive women in his videos, is there a problem with that? As if a female reviewer would never show pics of shirtless hot men in a review of say, Twilight?

No.
No, I don't think I would.

Whatever. Enjoy your reviews, I don't even know why I'm having this argument, I'm just getting Bob's numbers bumped up. Let's just agree to disagree.

So most of the way trough, Bob says that they are almost the most obnoxious on-screen couple of modern cinema. So this means either they were really bad, or Bella and Edward must have been wiped from existence. Hold on, let me check. ................ Wow the couple in this movie must be really bad.

dfcrackhead:
Wow, I haven't heard movieBob rage like that in quite some time. I had never heard of this movie and now that I have, I still have about the same chance of seeing it as I did before, none, unless someone wants to buy my way in and share their popcorn.

For me a medium popcorn is good enough for monsters,but if it was Twilight I would need exactally 3 and a half large popcorns, twelve servings of nachos, 2 large sodas, and gummy worms...lots and lots of gummy worms and maybe some weed

Not too surprised by this, though I had hoped it might be the next Splice, or District 9. Too bad really. We could use another deep, well made, well executed sci fi movie. At least I can still look forward to seeing Moon.

Duffeknol:

Warachia:

Duffeknol:
don't know if I got ninja'd yet, but:

'The director himself has said it's an internet rumor. He figured the equipment they used cost that, not the making of the movie itself. The movie itself comes under $500,000.

Best Buy asked them how much their equipment for this project cost and they figured it was around $15,000.

No one can make a movie for $15,000 in this day and age. '

Paranormal activity, budget: around $15,000. You don't need a giant studio to make everything.

Agreed, note the quotation marks, not my own words. Still, big mistake in Bob's review. He needs to do his research more.

sorry, I missed the closing quotation, but Bob seems to be getting sloppier as time goes on, I'm not sure if this is because he is overworking himself, or just genuinely feels like not putting the effort in, he looks far into some things, but not far enough into others, he's also of the mindset that if he doesn't like something everyone should hate it as well, and lately he doesn't even try to understand audiences who like good dramas or romances, both of which I personally don't like, but I can see why other people do.

now i actually want to see the video JUST to see how bad it really is.
good thing i have very little free time.

Maybe you'll hate yourself for it... but your review only managed to pike my interest into this movie from none to slight.

Still, it's not like this movie has any chance of launching here... both Scott Pilgrim hasn't reached the box office here. Heck, not even Splice has reached box office here. All because of this new national cinema crazy. Which wouldn't be so bad if my country could actually make anything worth watching (and yes, I'm saying that even compared to Hollywood's stagnation...)

...So it's like Cloverfield but from SPAAAAACE?

(I liked Cloverfield though, one of my favorites)

...wow the movie sounded awesome and then turned to a complete waste of time. My condolences Bob, I hope you find a great movie to blot out the horror you had to witness. Oh and sharktapus rules!

lol awesome review. I had not heard of this movie before and it sounds like there's good reason for that. Not the genre I'd really be interested in. Thanks for the dig at Katherine Heigl too, can't stand her.

Question: what is that blurred-out movie poster with what looks like a bunch of guns on it you keep showing?

Dak_N_Jaxter:
LOL
You have my sympathy.
(I've gotta watch Sharktopuss at some point.)

"...because at least Sharktopus... (booming voice) HAS A SHARKTOPUS."
[BITROFL]

Btw, is he implying that The Room doesn't have a room?? (j/k) I haven't seen either one, and I just find the implication hilarious. (Funnier than it just missing the mark on writing and/or acting; "No room in The Room" is like Waiting For Godot having no appearance of Godot.)

Just for once I would like Hollywood to make a good genre movie here in Mexico.

Character driven pieces are hard to pull off correctly. I've seem monster movies where the main characters might as well being wearing "most deserving of being monster kibble" signs around their necks and this sounds like one of those movies.

Sadly as the short lived "Threashhold" TV series even well written character briven series don't work well for whatever reason.

I thought this movie wasn't so bad at the beginning, even with the OBVIOUS correlation they were making toward illegal immigration, but I agree with MovieBob whole heartedly on the fact of the ending BLOWS the worst ending I've ever seen

dathwampeer:
This came out of the blue for me. I'd never even heard of it, then a few weeks ago I read about it. I actually quite enjoyed it. Probably because I hadn't hyped it up for ages.

LOL

I also enjoyed it, reminded me of Cloverfield.

actually reminded me of a cross between abyss and Lost in translation. I'll admitt the cast was not very appealing but like "The road" I found the movie enjoyable based on the atmosphere more than anything else.

Bob you're getting a little jaded.

What's wrong with Katherine Heigl?

Despite MovieBob's review, I'm still very much interested in seeing this. I just wanted to pick up on the point "none of them ever speak like a believable human being". From what I have read about the film, that's exactly what they do. The director said that the idea of a script went out the window and instead the actors were told to improvise in order to hit the basic plot points. Now it might be that the basic points are bad themselves, but just saying.

I saw the review then saw the film.

I've gotta say, I'm not sure Movie Bob and I were watching the same movie. The movie I watched did not have a "surprise twist" (and certainly a reference to Shyamalan seemed unwarranted).

The movie I saw seemed to be about how people get caught up in their own personal narratives. Over the course of the movie, the two main characters get slowly stripped of all the structure that they build up around themselves. The guy, a photographer, starts off hoping that this will be his big break. The girl, an engaged heiress who seems to be busy trying to "find herself", has been spending her time in Mexico, presumably trying to live some adventure. By the end of the movie, most of the personal conceits that come with their lives had been so broken down that they become able to actually see their own lives clearly.

I'm not sure whether it's because Movie Bob is American and I'm not, but the whole "illegal immigrant" thing did not seem to have anything to do with the movie's theme. It seemed more like a plot device - the infected zone is a place outside all normal experience; of nationality, of career, or personal desires (all the things that make up our personal dramas) and the border-crossers are just getting them there. In fact, it's particularly telling that the border-crossing party gets completely wiped out, leaving them behind and alone, that illegal immigration is NOT what the movie is getting at. It's also worth noting, Monsters is a BRITISH film, not an American film, and the US/Mexico border is significantly less of a focus for the British.

I think what the movie is actually getting at is exemplified by the aliens themselves. Throughout the entire movie, everyone is trying to kill the aliens. Everyone sees them as an invader, as something that needs to be destroyed - working the aliens into their own personal narrative as some massive invading enemy. But the main characters, having lost all their real attachments and having phoned their loved ones in calls that seemed very much to be farewells more than "I'll see you soons", are able to see that the aliens themselves don't even see people, let alone care about "invading". They're just living, and responding to people attacking them. They have no real motive or story. They just are.

With this realisation and the complete loss of all the personal bullshit they'd had at the start of the movie, the female lead then says "I don't want to go home".

And then "civilisation" swoops in to "rescue" them, but being completely obsessed with their own little story of heroism ("Da da daaa duh, da duh-duh dah duh, dun dun dun dun! It's my personal theme song! Everyone should have a theme song!"), they thunder off and get them all killed; too blind to see that they caused it in the first place.

It's not Cloverfield, and it's not District 9, I'll give Movie Bob that. But I definitely think he's missed the point of the movie... possibly in an ironic way, if my reading of the movie is correct.

I disagree, I saw it today and I really liked it.
I think Bob is being overly dismissive of the film's political allegory. There is more to it than just US immigration policy, the director himself said that he intended it to be a metaphor for the war in the Middle East. A film like Cloverfield is like 9/11, Monsters is supposed to be like the war in Afghanistan, prolonged conlfict with no end in sight, people adapting to new way of life in a war zone, Millitary causing more problems than it solves by provoking the monsters and killing inocents?
This is most clear I think in one scene where they ask a cabbie why don't they leave, they say where else would they go their whole family lives there, best just make do.

And it's no more heavy handed in its message than District 9, and I hate when people act like they're some great intellectual for realising that Distric 9 is a politcal film about apartheid. Well DUHH! Its not hard to spot, everyone knows it, get over it. Infact Monsters is better in its message I feel than Disrict 9 as Monsters keeps its message at its core all the way through where as District 9 takes time out at its end to descend into balls to the wall action and black humour. Not that its a bad thing, its the best part of D9.

Also this is a film made for $500,000, that is a staggeringly low amount of money for any kind of film let alone one thats full of monsters and beautiful exotic locations and crumling civilisations. I mean Moon was made for around 5 million and that film was practically made with remote control cars and lego (don't take me seriously on that.)

And the acting is good I think and the girl in particular, I don't get what Bob is saying at all, she's not irritating she's an amazing actor. I don't know, maybe she doesn't get her tits out enough for Bob to be interested.

Ignore Bob, see this film.

Alex Solis Praxis:
snip for justice

You win.

You lot are missing out on some genius stuff by not seeing this film.

Everything the two guys said above me is spot on.

I came to see what Bob said about this out of morbid curiosity and I honestly don't know why he's reviewing films.

Monsters is a good movie. It is however not a monster movie. the monsters are completely irrelevent to the story. It's basically a road movie about two people trying to get back home. All the monsters do is provide a mostly unseen danger to the main characters, it could be anything doing that.

I think so many people are annoyed by this film because it has been marketed so misleadingly. Yes, there are monsters but this is not in any way a monster movie. Almost every person I have talked to about this film were just waiting for the mayhem to start, and it never does. Fortunatley I had not been exposed to any trailers or reviews before I saw it, which is why I was able to really enjoy it. Although I must admit I was expecting some degree of monster mayhem due to the title. I was slightly confused as the film proceeded and I didn't get any.

Moviebob is right to lament the fact his passion is now a job, he has to expose himself to all the hype, he has to know whats coming out far in advance and what everyone thinks about it. That can give you expectations so instead of sitting there waiting to see what will happen you are waiting for something specific to happen and get annoyed when it doesn't. I can avoid this problem, I just turn up at the cinema and go and see something. I have no expectations or preconceptions. Those ruin movies.

Gotta disagree, I liked the movie, the title is misleading sure but it's not nearly so bad as Bob makes out, nor as bad as some of the film's bob has praised. Also, I liked District 9, but it was in no way a masterpiece, in fact the robot suits and explody guns, while fun, didn't fit at all well with the tone of the film, actually it was like watching two movies which was a shame because the first half was much better, and less would have been more

There was so much wrong with this movie that I kept hoping the monsters would eat the main characters well before they even had to get to the "Infected Zone." It tries to be a subtle character drama, but can't spend time properly developing the leads' romance outside of a few unsubtle plot beats (the ending, any scene where they bring up how the media heiress is engaged but doesn't want to be). It tries to be this big political statement about immigration, the military, and media excess, yet can't be bothered to let those develop beyond lip-service (again, the ending, and when they mention the wall in passing before getting there). It tries to build this intriguing sci-fi/horror world, but can't be bothered to keep even the basic details straight ("the creatures" have been around for six years, yet no one's gotten around to naming them, not even derogatory nicknames like District 9's prawns; despite the leads knowing about these things for six years, and spending most of the movie trying to avoid them, when the things show up they repeat the line "What was that?" for three minutes; Mr. Jerkwad Photographer is trying to get a great photo of the creature to sell to the papers, despite the creatures being clearly seen on television. The picture isn't even fuzzy, for crying out loud! Your photo would be pretty worthless). This movie's got nothing on The Host, District 9, or the original Godzilla (and I shudder to think what Edwards is going to do with his new Godzilla movie).

Doesn't help that the characters are whiny and self-absorbed the entire movie, talking to the locals in patronising tones of voice and sitting around pontificating to each other about life like they were on a college campus rather than in the middle of a jungle full of "creatures." Yes, I get that everyone's pretty much gotten used to these unnamed beasts, and tries to resume a somewhat "normal" existence (shades of Afghanistan and Iraq), but the least the movie could do is at least pretend like they're just trying to ignore the reality of their situation so that it could create tension (rather than oblivious to it, as the repeated "What was thats" or "What happened heres" show). The characters in Cloverfield were pretty awful, too, but at least that movie had the decency to put them in situations that were exciting, whereas Monsters never misses a moment to make everything happening uninteresting.

While I didn't think it was as bad as Moviebob seemed to make it out to be.

I... figured if your bored as hell, this is as good of a distraction as any.

Seriously it just sort of ends, didn't feel like there was any conflict resolution or anything.

to the blond woman....
what? you don't wanna go home? that was pretty self evident in the first moments of the movie.

I thought the aliens looked neat sure. but i'm sort of of two minds with the aliens invasion bit. I don't need to know what the hell all the details are, but some more details would of been nice. At the same time, with how the villagers just seem to try to get by, I couldn't help but get a sense of an allegory to the Iraq/Afghanistan occupations.

I didn't think the political allegories were that heavy handed really. Just worked out as a plot device really. Mexico really isn't (except for a few towns in the north) a hell-hole prison in constant war.

Nevermind i couldn't help but feel, seeing how the aliens are basically giant whale-sounding illuminating octopus's, and the armies of the world and their firepower. I know it's a lot of ground to cover but... wouldn't we - and by we i don't mean just the USA but the world - easily win this fight?

I mean how many countries in the world are just itching for a reason to fight? lol.

but all in all, i honestly would have to give a D.

seriously the two main protagonists are just ugh... the photographer is an ass, seriously any reasonable person tasked to go retrieve someones daughter is gonna do it no if and or buts, do the right thing. the woman is just too self absorbed, and maybe i'm just bad at it, but i could not for the life of me read her, just seemed to be sulking a lot.

Anyways those are my own thoughts.

MovieBob, I doubt you're reading this, but I've seen most of your movies, and I have to say that your list of all the things you love mashed together is without a doubt the FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!

I had to pause the video to laugh, fall out of my chair, resume laughing, post the quote to Facebook (credit given of course) re-watch the scene, laugh some more, go get a drink, think about the line while drinking, spit Razzleberry tea onto my keyboard, clean it up while gigging, re-watch the line again, and then continue the movie.

Thank you, you've made my May.

So 2 years after the fact and I finally tried to watch Monsters. I want to emphasis tried here because it was just to wretched for me to get to the halfway point. Then I went to see if any critics bashed on it like it deserved for my own catharsis. Boy was I disappointed to see that every critic seems to be giving it rave reviews. This is probably because critics are afraid to say anything bad about such a low budget indie film and want so desperately for it to succeed that they have blinders on. Then I remembered that Bob had issues with it (probably explains why I didn't bother watching Monsters till just today) so I re-watched this episode of escape to the movies.

Bob you are a champion of the geeks opinion never holding anything so sacred that it is above criticism. Thank you for bashing this piece of shinola. No I mean it, this movie insulted my intelligence and I may have to finish watching it just so my outrage can reach its Apex. Mexican characters that are ether Angelic beings of delight or horrible opportunistic scumbags? Are we suppose to think this is grownup script writing? I FEEL DIRTY!

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