Zero Punctuation: iPhone Games

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Angry birds is good fun, granted a bit frustrating at times like anything on a small screen of course (Because eye strain isn't bad enough, we'll piss you off at least once ;)

I can safely say that I've been breathing because AT&T sucks in my area and I also hate iProducts based on their general layout. Pity that Android marketplace kind of sucks. :(

No Doodle God, but there is a game called Alchemy that is extremely addictive, although it desperately needs a list to work towards because you throw combinations into the wind to find things you think will add up.

well yahtzee since you asked my breathing on mars is going very well, you just have to hold your breath and not waste money on an iphone

Okay, so who's signed a contract for Apple advertising, the Escapist, Yahtzee, or both?

Wow, I'm amazed you like those Yahtzee, as they are nothing more then mediocre flash games.
The only good ones I seen sofar were Plants vs Zombies(but unless you have the newest iphone it's choppy) and that other one ... where you do some space battles.
Everything else is just flash game level, only you haveto pay to get them.

How I learned to breath on Mars:

I use a Droid. Suck it iPhone, you are inferior.

"Pet Bitch Lizard" had me rolling for some odd reason.

I breathe on Mars with the help of a Blackberry. Before that it was a viewty, and before it was a humble nokia.

... I see nothing wrong with that.

Besides, I hate touch screen >: (

I don't have an iPhone yet ;(

iPhone games?
iPhone games...
Seriously - iPhone games!?

Yeah, no. That's not a gaming platform. It's a cell phone with (cheap, simplistic) games on it. Why do people insist on reviewing these "games" that would be unacceptable anywhere else, but seemingly made of gold because the appear on the iPhone? Yahtzee is not alone in this *cough*Victor Lucas*cough*G4*cough*.

I don't own an iPhone. Actually, I don't own a cell phone. I can't fathom carting around with a "peaceful time" disruptor, 24/7. Sometimes, it's just nice to get away from the blasted telephone.

And don't get me started on using a working telephone to send text messages... that's facepalm worthy IMO, but for some reason, people think it's normal!

Now get off my lawn! *shakes fist*

First yahtzee video I've seen in over a year, and he is still awesome. Cat + internet = youtube, comedic gold, I'm going to have to steal that joke. Iphone games can be fun for a short diversion, but i get bored of them quickly. The only game on my iphone that has been there more than a week is cube runner. It's a fun little game, and it is easy enough to play that you can distract a kid with it.

I'm not breathing on Mars and I still don't have an iPhone...

Still, a good review.

I thought it was nice that he covered something completely different from the 'regular' reviews that he does.

I personally hate the iPhone and think it's a monumental waste of money, but hey, there are actually people who feel otherwise, and that's how it should be.

I still have a ye olde cellphone.
One that's used for phone calls.
At least it has colours on its display.

mars is very nice this time of year because i dont have an i phone i never saw the pont of one i what a pohne i have a ds for hand held gaming on the go why do i need an ipone

I really enjoy having a Iphone.
They are extremely entertaining and incredibly useful as well as helpful.
I used to be an Iphone hater, until the price was right and I picked one up(got it for 99 bucks with my cell phone upgrade and pay 67 a month for unlimited everything with my work discount).
It's a phone, its a handheld, its a computer and a GPS.
I was never really to crazy about the whole touchscreen craze going on with phones and was not excited about trying to use one with the Iphone.
To my surprise the heat sensitive touch screen was incredibly easy and fun to use.
It felt like I had perfected it in seconds.
The Iphone is a great phone if you can afford it, it can get incredibly expensive and I wouldn't blame you for giving it a pass on that account alone.
It's also great for being discreet with your gaming when the situation calls for it.

and i would buy that autobiography

Good lord this topic is full of anti-Apple fanboys. Can you people please get a life? I don't complain when Yahtzee reviews a game for the Wii (despite thinking it is the worst thing to ever be considered a "console"), so I don't see why all of you people need to be complaining about him reviewing iPhone games.

(This is coming from someone who's only two Apple products were a Classic 160GB I won, and an iPhone 3G that I bought cheap and sold within a week)

Oh why did I ever get a much cheaper Android smartphone and thus exclude myself from hurling birds at pig property and cutting ropes?

...On second though, it might be a fair trade-off. Especially since this one also come with a handy breathe-on-Mars app.

Seems like amusing games though, just not what I want from a phone.

I survive mars by saying "meh meh meh" every 5 mins

I don't live on Mars, I live on earth and I need a phone that actually does things. This is why I have an android. Screw apple...they are the nintendo of phones...more popular but total crap.

Life on mars is totally underrated. Works perfectly fine for me...

I don't have an iPhone...the contracts are just too expensive for me (that and Ł10 credit can last me well over 4 months, sometimes even 6, so a Pay as you Go phone is all I really need)

How do I breathe on Mars? With stolen octopus lungs I ripped out when I mixed a fish with knowledge.

I breathe on Mars with the help of my Android phone.

I can't stand apple products, they seem to be trying standardise innovation which, not unlike a book burning nazi can only lead to trouble.

I wish apple would crumble.. and die

No wait, cat + internet does = YouTube. You were right the first time Yahtzee, stop second guessing yourself.

Imperator_DK:
Oh why did I ever get a much cheaper Android smartphone and thus exclude myself from hurling birds at pig property and cutting ropes?

I have an Android phone myself. Vastly prefer it. It's snowing on Mars, by the way; very pretty.

Angry Birds is available on Android as well (it's on the Market); quite a lot of these games are also available on Android, and where they aren't, clones of them are: the "mixing elements" game on Android is called Alchemy (and is OK, for what it is).

Replica Island is a pretty good platformer on the Android platform, by the way, give it a look.

But yes, I definitely want an FF6-style or Pokémon-style RPG or two; it's definitely possible on the platforms, which have more power than a PlayStation 1 and you can do plenty of 3D on them too if you're clever. Are there any?

Myoukochou:
...
I have an Android phone myself. Vastly prefer it. It's snowing on Mars, by the way; very pretty.

Angry Birds is available on Android as well (it's on the Market); quite a lot of these games are also available on Android, and where they aren't, clones of them are: the "mixing elements" game on Android is called Alchemy (and is OK, for what it is).

Replica Island is a pretty good platformer on the Android platform, by the way, give it a look.

But yes, I definitely want an FF6-style or Pokémon-style RPG or two; it's definitely possible on the platforms, which have more power than a PlayStation 1 and you can do plenty of 3D on them too if you're clever. Are there any?

Thank you for the heads-up, I might have to check out what all the fuss is about then.

I'm afraid I for one wouldn't know anything about whether any JRPG's are on Android Market, but they'll probably come around soon if there aren't.

Breathing is for pussies! I do not require oxygen!

On a side note; it would be awesome if yahtzee started to explore other genres again... like maybe starcraft 2 review? *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*

Well I'm an iphone-less martian vacuum breather, but I played Doodle God on Kongregate and I have to say, Yahtzee's description of the game was 100% identical to my experience. I would've stopped playing after about 3 minutes if there hadn't been gamer score achievement points a badge for completing the game.

What now, everyone owns an iPhone?
I thought in total Blackberry is selling more phones than Apple.
Also all of my friends have Androids.
I have a DS and a cheap phone.

While I have not developed a method of breathing on Mars just yet, I can tell you that with the price of an iPhone (and all its connection fees) I could get myself a regular cheap phone on prepay, a DS and a couple of games (or, one of those card things).

Because, hey, as much as I like Apple products (I don't), I don't poop out money every five seconds.

Innovative games on mobile platform? *spherical sphere full of vacuum here*
...Anyway, search better if you want to find better games. A small hint: he's Super and MEATy.

Mars actually has a rather pleasant atmosphere. It's lovely and scenic, there's a butchers down the road and there's none of this iPhone shit for me to go into a homicidal rage about.

As it stands, that was quite surprising to be honest. I always found games on iPhones, or any kind of phone, to be frustrating and difficult to handle because at the end of the day I keep thinking of it as a PHONE, not a GameBoy...

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