Zero Punctuation: Dragon's Dogma

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Dragon's Dogma

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Dragon's Dogma.

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Everything after the mention of pimping had me in stitches, excellent review!

"Wait, am I pimping?!" I didn't even think about that but now that you mention it, yeah, you are. Though it's worth it since the Pawns are useless else wise.

What's not great about grabbing a monster and stabbing it in the nuts?

When I heard about the ledge climbing aspect to the monster fights, I immediately expected Yahtzee to dust off the "Like Shadow of the Colossus but..." stamp from back in the Castlevania Lords of Shadow review.

Does the game just suck too much to the be worthy of the comparison?

pimping ain't easy and neither is long division lol!

Dude... i found the "DragDog is also the name of a legless yorkshire terrier i adopted a while back" part way too funny.

I'm surprised. I thought Yahtzee would rip this one a new one for not being pitch perfect, but he was surprisingly nice to it, all things considered.

Wait a shotgun cocking second, that ending, was that, a recommendation!?

Yahtzee the sugar mama

Dangit2019:
Dude, don't you have a pun? Isn't that your job?

Blast! There was so much material I was overwhelmed. Ok, Ok...

One useful feature about the pawns is that they can throw you at the taller and flying enemies. So I guess that makes them your chuckmates?

I'm surprised he didn't complain about the lack of fast travel. From what I've heard, this game is a pain in the ass to play sans-combat.

And, given that he didn't exactly endorse the combat, I see little reason to pick this up.

Wait, so does this game require you to be connected to Xbox Live in order to recruit other pawns? I certainly hope not. I only use my Xbox live profile for getting DLC.

Hopefully the game will let me play with only one pawn. Less annoying dialogue that way. Too bad it's not for PC, because then someone could make a mod to shut the pawns up.

not a whole lot of game about middle age pimping...

PureIrony:
I'm surprised he didn't complain about the lack of fast travel.

The game does have fast travel, when you first make it to Gran-Soren you unlock the ability to use ferrystones to teleport back there instantly.

On a later (required) quest you discover a portcrystal that you can place anywhere in the overworld, placing it allows you to use the afore mentioned ferrystones to teleport to that portcrystal too.

After that additional portcrystals can be bought from a certain merchant in Gran-Soren, alas they cost an arm and a leg each. Not literally, but in your first playthrough the cash would be better used buying and upgrading equipment for you and your main pawn rather than simply cutting travel time.

PureIrony:
I'm surprised he didn't complain about the lack of fast travel.

He did, on one of those blink-and-you-miss-em signs.

All in all, I kind of get the feeling he didn't like the game, even if the pimping mechanic seemed interesting to him.

Been a long time since I laughed this hard at a ZP. Very much enjoyed, tho I won't be purchasing this game.

I haven't done any pimping in a fantasy RPG since Morrowind. I hope they release a PC version one day.

templar1138a:
Wait, so does this game require you to be connected to Xbox Live in order to recruit other pawns? I certainly hope not. I only use my Xbox live profile for getting DLC.

Hopefully the game will let me play with only one pawn. Less annoying dialogue that way. Too bad it's not for PC, because then someone could make a mod to shut the pawns up.

No the game comes with a set of pre-generated pawns. It's just more fun to see the crazy things people come up with, plus you can recruit your friend's pawns for free regardless of level if you're connected.

Very nice review, because if all else fails satire is the way to go. I've always enjoyed the show on another website and I thought it was great, but posting a comment on that website rather than this one can make a panda cry apparently. For me at least paying my respects to the person who made it rather than a mirror version is better. Great show and I enjoy your work.

templar1138a:
Wait, so does this game require you to be connected to Xbox Live in order to recruit other pawns? I certainly hope not. I only use my Xbox live profile for getting DLC.

Hopefully the game will let me play with only one pawn. Less annoying dialogue that way. Too bad it's not for PC, because then someone could make a mod to shut the pawns up.

The game has a selection of support pawns you can hire in offline mode. And its not required at all to use a full party[1]. And if the chatter really gets on your nerves, you can toss your pawns off a cliff and venture forth alone.

[1] Though it does help...

Oh,wouldn't you know it,it's Wednesday again! This vid had me chuckling throughout.I enjoyed it quite a bit.

I've heard the game is a flawed gem,too bad I can't have the chance of playing it because it didn't release on PC,oh well,on to the next one!

hah i'm not going to be looking at recruiting pawns the same way again though I will be laughing as I do it now. I would say this review has been downright nice compared to others.

PureIrony:
I'm surprised he didn't complain about the lack of fast travel. From what I've heard, this game is a pain in the ass to play sans-combat.

And, given that he didn't exactly endorse the combat, I see little reason to pick this up.

Fast travel is better on second playthrough but it does cost a lot and you still have to set up the travel system yourself. Also he didn't really say anything bad about the combat (though I've found it great fun), the grappling can be a finiky bugger though with drunken cameraman on the largest monsters.

Still good funny review.

This gives me an idea, an online game that basically entirely revolves around pimping.

I really enjoy this game and that's all the more reason to find this video hilarious. In fact, this was one of the most enjoyable episodes for me in a while. Bravo, sir!

To me, the cryptic and dodgy plot information and lack of direction smacks of classic 8-bit RPG's where you were pretty much thrust into the same kind of cliche struggle with little to no motivation except, blimey, you're the designated protagonist on the box art. It was typically due to software and hardware limitations back then but I'm so accustomed to that from those days that I feel it to be engaging on a different level with Dragon's Dogma; It adds a sense of wonderment to the game world.

And I never even considered the maintaining of my pawn as pimping... and now I can't shake the notion. I must gussy up my lady pawn in skimpy clothes and leave her on nearest Rift street corner. Thank you, Yahtzee. HAHA!!

Been quite a while since I laughed this hard during a ZP episode. Absolutely brilliant. xD
That said, I rented the game, and after about six hours I decided there's nothing on God's green Earth that could possibly compel me to buy this piece of junk.

PureIrony:
I'm surprised he didn't complain about the lack of fast travel. From what I've heard, this game is a pain in the ass to play sans-combat.

And, given that he didn't exactly endorse the combat, I see little reason to pick this up.

I'm pretty sure in his earlier reviews of Elder Scrolls and Fallout he criticized fast travel systems for making smaller or something. I don't really remember. As for the reason there's no fast travel, it's because of the day/night cycle. At night it becomes much more dangerous. It's almost pitch black without a light source, monsters are more aggressive, zombies and ghosts come out, it almost becomes like a survival horror game.

It basically forces you to plan your journeys accordingly and make sure you leave enough time so you don't get stranded miles from town at night. If the game had fast travel this mechanic would be rendered useless.

The combat is actually very fluid and well designed. It just takes some time to get used to the climbing mechanic. But once you do you'll be stabbing cyclopes in the eye and cutting chimera tales off like a boss in no time. Plus climbing isn't the only way to kill the big monsters. There is a demo out for it if you're curious as to how the game plays.

Edit: I just realized the player character in this video looks just like the one Yahtzee described.

Why does it not surprise me that you'd play a strong independent black woman who don't need no man?

So, considering the result of his Conan character, how long until deviant art rule 34s (or was it 32, keep mixing those two up) this one?

If it helps, do remember that if a Pawn gets really annoying, you can pick them up and toss them off a cliff.

Also, did anyone else noticed how often female Pawns would be near naked near the release of the game? I swear perfectly good Pawns would come back without clothing and suddenly higher appearance ratings. Sluttiness is all well and good for a Pimp, but I need my pawns to have armor.

DVS BSTrD:
Yahtzee the sugar mama

Dude, don't you have a pun? Isn't that your job?

consider itīs pretty much established anything he doesnīt mentions is either good or not worth mentioning, I think the game got of quite nice, I greatly enjoy it. The combat has little clutter and feel meaty, the archery is the best I seen in a fantasy game in a good while.

Also I kinda feel he undersells the pawns, oh sure they all are more talkative then a drunken housewife, but they are surprisingly tactical in combat and learn there role well.

Finally, the pimp simulator I was looking for...

Jonci:
If it helps, do remember that if a Pawn gets really annoying, you can pick them up and toss them off a cliff.

Also, did anyone else noticed how often female Pawns would be near naked near the release of the game? I swear perfectly good Pawns would come back without clothing and suddenly higher appearance ratings. Sluttiness is all well and good for a Pimp, but I need my pawns to have armor.

I used to have a huge bulky skin-head guy as a pawn who could carry lots of shit and act as a good tank. He was rented 3 times in a week, with 3,000 rift crystals as the maximum.

I changed my pawn to a near-nude woman and got around two rentals every time i played and racked up a shit load of rift crystals. It bugged me though so i now have her in heavy armour and she doesn't get half as many rentals.

Too many god-damn children too. I want a team of 4 men that look perfectly able to fuck cyclopes and dragons up. Not two naked chics and a little boy.

This one was fucking funny. Funniest in at least a month or two, I'd say.

Thinderella's morbidly obese older sister... Precious? Fatasstasia? She probably pimps out Thinderella too, unaware of her scrotum-soul-sucking powers.

And now, after having watched this weeks Zero Punctuation, i am filled with the urge to play Dragon's Dogma.

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