EXP: ScrewAttack's Worst EVER: Sexy Chick

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Geo Da Sponge:

Helmholtz Watson:
*Snip*

Oh for goodness sake...

Yes, that's right. Because I wanted to explain why something left me more creeped out than amused, I must want to eradicate all other view points ever. Everyone must agree with me! Anyone who doesn't is a horrible bastard and must be put to the torch!

The hyperbole is unnecessary, I never accused you of advocating violence against those who had a different opinion than yours, I just pointed out how you were really reaching when you brought up hate crimes and murder and compared it to a person who says that they are not sexually attracted to transsexuals.

Geo Da Sponge:
There, does it help if I try and villainise myself while you do it as well?

Again, you are exaggerating what I said, I don't think your a villain or a horrible person. I just think that comparing apples(not finding transsexuals attractive) and oranges(murder and hate crimes directed at transsexuals).

Geo Da Sponge:
Do you see what you're doing? The moment I try to express why something makes me feel uncomfortable, you immediately leap on it as a chance to tell me how I hate the idea of someone else having a different viewpoint to me, as if I expect everyone to find all transgendered people incredibly attractive just so that I can feel better. You find it impossible to believe that someone might disagree with you without them being a crazy liberal extremist who wants to annhilate all other opinions.

....

....

image

..what?

Are you sure you don't have my post confused with somebody else?

You keep strawmaning my post by claiming that I'm saying that you are advocating violence...but that is not the case at all. I never said that you advocated violence towards those who have a dissenting opinion from your own. The only thing I said that was even remotely similar to what you were referring to was when I said that it seems like you want to shame others into not stating their views.

Also, I never attacked your character, so you can drop the baseless accusations that "[I] find it impossible to believe that someone might disagree with [me] without them being a crazy liberal extremist who wants to annihilate all other opinions".

Geo Da Sponge:

No, I don't think that opinions expressed on this website are likely to cause murder. If I really thought that, do you think that I'd just be sitting here, typing up comments about it? Neither am I saying that talking that way about a fictional transexual is as bad as talking that way about a real person, because trust me, if they were talking about a real transexual I'd be way more pissed off.

All the more reason why your comment about hate crimes was unnecessary to bring up in the first place.

Geo Da Sponge:

I'm not mentioning very serious hate crimes because I think that them expressing their opinions is as bad as said crimes, or likely to lead to further hate crime; I'm mentioning them because that's what I end up thinking about when someone starts going on about how disgusting they think transexuals are. That's why I don't find the video funny, because the awkward discomfort outweighs the humour by a huge margin.

So I'll reiterate what I said above, your original comment was unnecessary and your comparing apples to oranges.

Geo Da Sponge:
At the end of the day, I just wanted to say why I didn't like the video. Not in a "You disgusting filth! You have no place in civilised society!" way, but in a "Dude, not cool. Just... Not okay." way. But hey, fuck me expressing my opinions, right? Because they clash with someone elses, I must want to eradicate all other points of view so everyone will acknowledge me as their one true God and saviour.

Now I'm convinced that you must have me confused for somebody else because I never accused you of wanting to "eradicate" everybody else who has a different opinion than you, I simply pointed out how you seem to want to shame others because they don't have the same opinion as you.

Btw, feel free to drop the hyperboles anytime.

Someone, somewhere is writing an angry blog about this. Calling is sexist, fury hating, tansgenderphobic propoganda and probably a whole lot of other things.

... yea, who am I kidding. That's probably all going on right here.

The worst one that springs to my mind is that woman from that game... You know the one.

.......

That's the one

Yea, whoever designed that one probably does actually have some issues.

Helmholtz Watson:
*Snip*

Ahh, shit. I genuinely did get confused; I thought your response to Hot Madness was part of your response to me. Now that I've gone back and re-read it, I see the problem. That's what most of my post was "aimed" at, and it's my own fault for going off on a rant like that.

However.

Because God forbid that there are any videos that don't fall in line and only regurgitate "progressive" opinions, right? *Gasp* there might even be people who doesn't have a liberal opinion on a subject! Oh, the horror!! [/sarcasm]

The inherent implication there is that you believe that Hot Madness, and in turn me because I agree with him, want to shut down all free opinion because we dislike the views shown in this video. That's what I was talking about. And no, I know you didn't accuse me of advocating violence, but then again I never said you did apart from the crap joke at the top of my comment. The only other time I mentioned it was the "annhilate all other opinions" part, which you will notice is different from "annhilate all other opinion holders".

Having said that, I have to repeat myself: I'm not mentioning hate crimes because I think videos like this are comparably bad. I mention them because when someone appears on a video and unironically expresses the views that lead to those sorts of incidents, it kills the comedy and makes them look like a dick. I could draw a comparison with other views that would be equally unfunny, but it would inevitably involve racists and/or Nazis, so I won't. Another reason I'm mentioning them is that people might be genuinely unaware that these things happen for the very reasons described in the video, so it might help anyone involved in the video realise why people are reacting so badly.

MinionJoe:
Definitely a lot of phallophobia at ScrewAttack.

"Might have a penis" doesn't change a person's outward physical characteristics.

Seriously, its not like you're ever going to get her pants off anyway.

So just get over it and enjoy the eye-candy.

If you are being serious, then you don't understand sexual preferences in that what can turn arousal on and off.

Once the thought of "it's a dude" hits the mind of a straight guy, boom, it doesn't matter about looks, they disappear with such information.

It doesn't matter if it can't be seen, if there is even a hint of info that reveals that a she could be/or is a he, then the interest is gone.

It's the way I am, and a vast majority of others.

Of course the same principle works for other sexual preferences, when something the person finds unattractive/a turn off is show or heard, again, boom, no arousal for the person the information involves.

DocMcCray:
Okay...time to educate some people about Screwattack. If that doesn't work, time to go medieval.

Screwattack is not politically correct. Just as life is not politically correct. Often times, the staff will bring up subjects that exist in the world, both real life and gaming life. A lot of people may feel uncomfortable about this. There is nothing wrong with that.

However, if it looks like it is going to be offensive, don't click the link. It is that simple. This situation is very similar to the brony/anti-brony posts. If the word "Pony" is in the title of a post and you are an anti-brony, then understand the post will be filled with posts about ponies. Don't go in there saying "OMGZ! U R GAY! GET OFF TEH INTERNETZ!!!1!" You had warning, you entered anyway, you were offended, and it is your fault you were offended.

If you do not enjoy what Screwattack offers, do not click their links. It is that simple. If no one clicks, they will be removed. That is the power and right that you have.

I kinda like that people react like this. I wasn't sure if I would enjoy this content, after reading some comments, I'm sure I won't. The decision to not click a link on a website I enjoy, I prefer to make that decision with some context.

Thanks for the info about Screwattack though, I wasn't familiar with their material.

Sonic Doctor:

It doesn't matter if it can't be seen, if there is even a hint of info that reveals that a she could be/or is a he, then the interest is gone.

Except she isn't a he. Sorry, but having a transitioning housemate has made me extremely aware of pronoun choice.

Assuming the backstory that Poison is pre-op MTF transgender, what is in her pants is irrelevant to the identity she presents to the world. She is under no obligation to fuck anyone, so what's in her pants is her business and her's alone.

And I'd say there's a difference between "loss of interest" and what was shown in this ScrewAttack video.

Staying on topic and avoiding this needless drama...

Ivy is one "sexy" character that always looked ugly to me. Her outfits always make her look absolutely ridiculous. While other characters wear armor or elegant outfits, here's a lady who's wearing fetish wear.

Why do I feel like I just watched an episode of TMZ?

This was really fun to write. I spent a couple of hours writing and rewriting this while I waited for my laundry.

Written with the conditions that:
a. The character is intended to be sexy or desirable.
b. There's some aspect of them that just doesn't work(at least for me).

1 - Yelena Fedorova from Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Why she's supposed to be sexy:
Yelena is an athletic, dangerous looking, punky, gothy cyborg with a mixed african/caucasian heritage who gives off a sexy vibe when she fires her weapons in a raw predatory way.
She's independant, extremely lethal, a respected merc and could be the posterchild for sexy augmented women, despite the bird legs.

Why she's not:
You'd think she'd move with the grace and agility of a ballerina, but instead she pounds through and moves like a bulldozer on crack. She walks awkwardly and sprints like an ostrich moving at a hundred miles per hour. It comes off as weird, almost ridiculous.

"Look how dangerously sexy I am. Now let me show you my Mr. Roboto fighting style!"
image

Addendum:
It might be that the purpose was to make her seem grotesque to players, due to her augments, and that her implied sexiness is there to put her over the top.
To me the augmentations are fine, even her bird legs, while somewhat alien, are not really a factor for me.

-

2 - Evelynn from League of Legends

Why she's supposed to be sexy:
Evelynn is a mysterious assassin who has vampiric traits and an exotic appearence, coupled with fetish clothing and a seductive succubi voice. Her talon like nails are reminiscent of that really wild chick you once hooked up with, who scratched your back bloody during freaky steamy sex!

Why she's not:
First off, it's an old champion with outdated artwork, skins and splash art. There's a definite lack of quality that hasn't been addressed yet by Riot, but that's not the problem.
The Ladies of the League in general, have an oversexualized look that's typical of high fantasy, but Evelynn goes way past that.
She's supposed to be this Mystique-wannabe assassin who lures you in, but she comes off as ridiculous and poorly designed. Her outfit is borderline silly and her appearence in general has no depth of character.

"I'm a sexy vampire-thing without a waist and a back broken from carrying my gigantic jugs!"
image

Addendum:
I really do think that the artist responsible was trying to make something sexy.
The character is in dire need of a visual update, something that Riot has been very good at doing for many of the other champions, so they might come up with something far better for her.
It bears significant consideration that the model and artwork just isn't up to snuff.

-

3 - Katherine Mcbride from Catherine

Why she's supposed to be sexy:
She's not, per se, but she's supposed to be the "right choice" for the main character. She's a strong woman, ready to get married and is a good stable choice for a man in his early midlife. She's desireable and a keeper.

Why she's not:
I've listened to 3 playthroughs, in 3 days of this game. Listening to Vincent grunt and moan through the puzzles along with the constant bells ringing through the latter part of the game, is nothing compared to hearing this unsympathetic, pushy, irrational, annoying and entitled as fuck bitch who complains about every single aspect of her boyfriend.

She's who you're supposed to fight for and win over, while owning up to your mistakes and oh-by-the-way survive a week of horrific nightmares that might literally kill you. There is so little to this character that makes her likable, that it's no longer about doing the right thing.

The game is doing everything that it can, to make Catherine the better choice for you as a person. The only thing holding you back is Katherine being pregnant, but an unhappy marriage isn't better for the kid anyway.
There should be more to Katherine that makes you want to fight for her, than a pregnancy.

"You don't live up to all my expecations. I am dissapoint."
image

Addendum:
She's not supposed to be sexy, but she is supposed to be desireable. Since I'm nearing 30, I can certainly see the appeal of a mature woman who has her priorities straight and knows how to shine with confidence and intellect. While Katherine might have those two qualities, she doesn't show them and comes off as a potentially abusive and manipulative partner. Catherine is not a much better choice, but she is appealing as a fun temporary partner, which she does give an indication of being.

-

4 - Miranda Lawson from Mass Effect 2

Why she's supposed to be sexy:
She's based off of Yvonne Strahovski! Hell, she's even voiceacted by her!
If that's not enough, she's a genetically engineered superhuman who walks around in a skin tight suit, showing ample cleavage of a marvelous bosom and a butt you could bounce a coin off of.
She's strong, intelligent and confident.

Why she's not:
Somewhere along the line, Miranda Lawsons face hits the uncanny valley and all the features(wide chin and face) that make Yvonne gorgeous, makes Miranda look out of place.
Add the serious daddy issues, an arrogant streak and entitled behaviour of a genetically superior human and you have a character that fails to be sexy as intended.

"My body says yes, but my dead, soulless eyes say I will eat your flesh."
image

Addendum:
This is the first animated character that really showed me the definition of the Uncanny Valley.
Since it's literally based on a real person and voiced by that same person, something just goes wrong and you're faced with a person that seems like anything else than the obvious traits.

I hope you enjoyed my list :)

I can't imagine there's too much room in those shorts for anything--with regards to Poison.

Rouge always gave me the most confused half-boners.

God forbid we have variation, "sexy chicks" need to be of the blandest possible homogenized variant lest they be labeled the "worst ever" because you're so insecure that "you feel bad for getting a boner" over some pixels and concepts.

Smilomaniac, now YOURS is the kind of article I was expecting to see.

Instead we got that garbage video.

I suppose Valerie Cardinal from Far Cry deserves a mention. She felt kinda forced and tacked on, striking teh sexay poses while she and Jack Carver were discussing their next move. Felt like, "look at me, I'm selling the game to you, you're male so you're supposed to find this forced sexy posing attractive". I was just like, "This isn't what I bought this game for, stop shoving yourself in my face".

Fuh.

I've nothing against sexy babes, but I just get this uncomfy feeling someone's trying to sell me something. You know?

loa:
God forbid we have variation, "sexy chicks" need to be of the blandest possible homogenized variant lest they be labeled the "worst ever" because you're so insecure that "you feel bad for getting a boner" over some pixels and concepts.

I think the more dedicated fans of a game would argue that it's everything but the standard pinup girl looks, that makes a sexy character.

On the other hand, there's a bunch of female token characters out there who try to be more than they are, because they have some weird attitude tacked on to them or some quirk that puts them out of place.
It's as if designers were consciously aware that they couldn't just make a sexy chick, they had to diversify her somehow and then failed to do it properly.

I don't feel that variation is lacking, in general. Maybe in peoples tastes or opinions, but it's been a while since I've seen a generic sexy girl in a game. Apart from League of Legends. It's chock full of them.

rhodo:
Smilomaniac, now YOURS is the kind of article I was expecting to see.

Instead we got that garbage video.

Thanks man, glad you liked it and I appreciate the compliment.

Poison doesn't really belong on a list like this, cause she IS sexy... I certainly think so, wouldn't mind looking like her (only, you know, a more real version, and I'd wear more clothes...), especially if the badass fighting moves came with! That long, pink hair... Her being transgender is a stupid justification for calling her a "worst EVER sexy chick", surely there are better candidates... There are no reasons (that we can see) why she can't be considered just plain sexy... Maybe I'm biased, I happen to think pre-op M2F transgenders are kinda hot...

MinionJoe:
Definitely a lot of phallophobia at ScrewAttack.

"Might have a penis" doesn't change a person's outward physical characteristics.

Seriously, its not like you're ever going to get her pants off anyway.

So just get over it and enjoy the eye-candy.

"But penises are scaaawy!" Seems to be what most of my male friends think anyway, which I find rather strange considering they all have one of their own!

Smilomaniac:
I hope you enjoyed my list :)

I certainly did! If you expanded a bit on it, and added a few jokes here and there it would feel right at home on cracked.com =3.

Edit: Ohw no, a double post D=.

Playful Pony:

I certainly did! If you expanded a bit on it, and added a few jokes here and there it would feel right at home on cracked.com =3.

Wow, that's high praise, thanks! <3

"She may be the most disgusting thing in the world."

That's pretty damn harsh and unnecessary. I mean, come on.

Denamic's not wrong:
I'm secure/flexible enough in my sexuality to say that I would still tap Poison if she existed.

ExtraDebit:
I don't get the why people are angry about the transgender comments on the video, it's not about being intolerant. It is something a guy can 100% comprehend. Imagine you're getting the hots for a girl and just suddently been told she got a dong, how would you feel? I imagined it'll be pretty much how the guy in the video felt.

This isn't about being intolerant or discrimination, it just is how we would naturally react.

I certainly understand why someone might feel that way and I agree it is probably a natural way to feel, but "it's natural" has never been an acceptable excuse for any behavior. Fear and hatred of the unknown or unfamiliar is natural. Killing another of your species for personal gain is natural. Even prostitution and rape are natural. We see all these things all the time in nature, but that does not make us indulging in these behaviors alright.

But the fact that he had these feelings isn't the real problem. Issues to do with gender identity are difficult. It takes time to come to terms with these ideas. Even if he can never come to terms with this and never feels comfortable about the whole transgender issue I am not going to hold it against him so long as he is willing to show respect to these people.

The problem is that he went on the internet to a place where thousands of people would see and basically spent two minutes explaining that transgender people are disgusting. The message sent, whether he means it this way or not, is simple: "You are repulsive. The thought that people like you exist sickens me." That is not ok.

EDI in Mass Effect 3 has got to be to me one of the worst sexy chicks in a game. Her robotic body is based on the Illusive Man's dead girlfriend Eva Core, and it's apparently capable of oral and sexual intercourse. She literally is a sex bot that has been shared between two men and I seriously wonder if she's ever been cleaned out or if the robotic body is designed to convert the semen into energy. Or something.

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