Zero Punctuation: Tomb Raider Anniversary

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I love the Jam. I'm even wiling to pretend that the blatant sexism is simply ironic, simply because you used The Jam. Oh, and because you are utterly hilarious.

My Yahtzee Art
image
I was thinking of making it a T-shirt to give to a few girls I know.

Of course the reason why they remade it is so that pubescent boys can see Lara's grotesquely gravity-defying rack... in 3D (as in more than the old "Madonna" 3-polys per tit).

I've always wondered why she didn't use her breasts as a weapon in the first game.

lmao!!!

I love that reference to Dune he threw in there with "fear is the mind killer", long live Zero Punctuation!

Why America decided to remake the first Tomb Raider game? I have no idea. Probably for the same reason why they make the most horrible movie remakes of old school movies. I've played both the original Tomb Raider and this remake, and you are absolutely right. I like your reviews, no matter what people say.

P.S. The last line was the best! "Stonking great tits!" That has become my new favourite line! XD

What the heck is he saying between "knockers" and "boobies"? Ballistiques?

/S

I've never understood why a woman who clearly defies gravity with her colossal melons can't just float across chasms.

Juicy.... thighs! hahhah

Please don't lynch me for what I'm about to say...

But wasn't there an article in PC gamer (I believe) some years ago which dealt with a tomb raider game using exactly the same formula as Yahtzee's review, as in 'promise not to mention boobies, go through whole review, conclude with boob joke frenzy'? Can anyone confirm this impression I have? Can it just be a huge coincidence? Is my memory simply at fault?

Disclaimer; I love yahtzee and his reviews and will gladly allow him to copulate with any future daughters I may have.

Hm, remakes.

I want a Deus Ex remake! With Unreal Engine 3, and the same length/depth. :) Okay, time to wake up and start praying so Deus Ex 3 will be at least decent...

Stonking Great Tits!

This is still funny after the 10th time watching it

knew he couldn't make it through the review without saying tits

Well you told me to ask, so I'm asking. How long has it been since the last time you had the touch of a woman? -feels like he just got shoved in front of the classroom on with just boxers on being told to recite some really lousy lines for a school play-...

P.S. I hate you right now. Yes, I know I didn't have to do this, but at the same time I had to becuase you asked me to... Shut up.

This was a great review, it always makes me laugh, especially the end XD
just wondering how you spell "balisteegs"? i know it means tits obviously, is it spanish or something? im a bit dim XD

LOLs sweaty thirteen year old boys wif holes in thier pockets

Tits great rivew so sexy im waching u right now yazie and tuching my self

loved the last line. who didn't though :P

I just picked this game up and decided to give a play on whim and a prayer, and because it was like CAN$15.00.

It is my first Tomb Raider and I am actually enjoying it, and I am beginning to appreciate Lara Croft's sex appeal.

It is not because of the stonking great tits so much as it is she is a heroic protagonist. It's an attractive quality to be a powerful, adventurous, "kick your butt" type of female. Given that she is pretty, it is just natural for men to associate that with sexuality.

I always argue there is nothing wrong with that, it is not in and of itself a sign of misogyny or disrespect. I don't mind the R2 trigger so much, so I challenge this point, but I will agree that there are way too many bosses that take like a million bullets. And what the hell is with the different ammor / weapon types. The don't do diddly all better than the pistols enough to warrant using anything but quick reload infinite ammo ('cept when forced)

Do you see the T-shirt? It says Stonking Great and it's plastered across her chest... hahaha (I'm this many *holds up hands to show on his fingers his age*)

Great episode:) love it!:D

The end reminded me of something Penn Jillete said
"In English any plural noun can be construed to mean tits."

I caught the Mind killer reference. A little late I know, but I'm always happy to see if people played Rez.

Hi,
This is your great post and nice idea.I love the people who share the knowledge with others.www.quranreading.com educational site.Thanks to share the information.

nice review

but THE JAM at the start YHEAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

HOLY GOD I've watched every review about 10 times now and they're still hillarious - Yahtzee can have my first born if he wishes it so.

Couldn't help yourself at the end there could you? :P

It's too bad Yahtzee doesn't hang out on these forums :(

I'd love to irk him every day.

do you like Dr.Who

Yahtzee you herculean example of perfection,
THAT WAS BRILLIAnT!!!

its funny that people have forgotten that this game franchise needs to die. Unlike sonic(and maybe spyro) at least those developers are starting to make their games much better unlike tomb raider.

I never like these games and never will but what surprises me the most is that Yahtzee Croshaw actually review two of these games.

ForgottenPr0digy:
its funny that people have forgotten that this game franchise needs to die. Unlike sonic(and maybe spyro) at least those developers are starting to make their games much better unlike tomb raider.

I never like these games and never will but what surprises me the most is that Yahtzee Croshaw actually review two of these games.

Okay, so you're saying, giving Sonic a go cart and a sword is considered going in the right direction?
And as soon as Crash and Spyro came to the PS2, both series' jumped the shark.

hopeneverdies:

ForgottenPr0digy:
its funny that people have forgotten that this game franchise needs to die. Unlike sonic(and maybe spyro) at least those developers are starting to make their games much better unlike tomb raider.

I never like these games and never will but what surprises me the most is that Yahtzee Croshaw actually review two of these games.

Okay, so you're saying, giving Sonic a go cart and a sword is considered going in the right direction?
And as soon as Crash and Spyro came to the PS2, both series' jumped the shark.

Giving sonic a sword could have been a good idea. It much better than his crappy air dash move. Giving him a go kart or wave board could be interesting if they are able to put it to good use.

Spyro and crash also have a chance by making a new game maybe for the wii/ds pr psp could a lot fun. If naughty dog works on crash and insomniac games works on spyro again. They can good gaming franchises

I would rather play dynasty warriors or samurai warriors over tomb raider any day of the week

How long has it been since you have felt the touch of a woman

Jagged rock country is a place I've visited many times while playing this game. Great review!

Wow, great job Y!!!

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