Zero Punctuation: Manhunt

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Break:

Bender. Might I draw your attention to the following quotes?

constantly reviewing nothing but first person games

from the back end of whatever simulated pointy stick you're programmed to carry

wander into the reticule in the FPS's you've grown accustomed to reviewing

Now, do these words seem familiar to you? That's because you said them. I know, I know, you can usually be relied on to know what you say and don't say. But I just noticed that you didn't seem to realise that you said these three things. I can only assume that this is why you are acting like an arrogant bastard, and calling people names for talking about issues you raised. I understand that you meant simple action games, but can you really expect too many people to accurately paraphrase your messages when you go so out of your way to confuse? Besides, the market's a little slow right now. There aren't that many complex, exciting, or particularly interesting games out just yet, and it's a lot more entertaining to tear games that have been overhyped by the media and gaming community to small, gooey chunks, than it is to review some niche game that's actually quite a lot of fun.

And critism is a useful way to find out where you're going wrong, so you can improve on things that need improving, and gauging the current attitude of general society. Since this is the generally agreed upon method for reacting to critism, your description of someone who likes constructive critism as a "tool and a sheep, with a 2 foot perspective on life" marks you out as either:
A)Revolutionary, and a great thinker, or:
B)An arrogant fucktard.
Now, while both are fair possibilities, I'm more inclined to take option B. Mainly because I find a "tool and a sheep, with a 2 foot perspective on life" that, as you say, "sucks all kinds of ass" is a better description of your own behaviour, as opposed to someone who can listen to people.

If that's too complicated, or long, or whatever, this might be simpler:
Shut the fuck up, you arrogant, self-righteous dickhole, who's idea of a decent argument is to spout off random shit that makes as much sense as your mother on a warm day.

Break, that was one of the sexiest things I've ever read. I now have a huge crush on you(in a completely non-sexual way).

I loved the little Australia running for the bandwagon.

And I'm glad to hear someone else complain about Thief. I loved the first level, and as a kid that was all I would play because I was stupid and the 2nd-level zombies scared the bejesus out of me.

Kind of makes me wish they would release another Thief that was exclusively you wandering a medieval town taking people's stuff and becoming obscenely rich.

Another extremely violent game for Jack Thompson to rant 'bout violence... I know it's not new but the Manhunt 2 is coming soo...

Break:

brin5tar:
Isn't it pronounced "ee-ko" not "EYE-ko"?

No. Well, probably not. No matter how I say it, I can't seem to make "ee-ko" not sound stupid. So I dub thee wrong. At least, I've never heard it pronounced that way before, and can't really see why you would.

Nice video, as usual, Yahtzee. The opening song combined with the subject matter made me laugh before you even started talking.

Someone refresh my memory as to what the extremely nerdy analogy was. It sounds so familiar, but I have no idea where to place it.

"what is this unfamiliar feeling?"

haha good stuff. Definitely going to watch your shows to get reviews for now on.

Mr.Sign:

Break:

brin5tar:
Isn't it pronounced "ee-ko" not "EYE-ko"?

No. Well, probably not. No matter how I say it, I can't seem to make "ee-ko" not sound stupid. So I dub thee wrong. At least, I've never heard it pronounced that way before, and can't really see why you would.

Nice video, as usual, Yahtzee. The opening song combined with the subject matter made me laugh before you even started talking.

Someone refresh my memory as to what the extremely nerdy analogy was. It sounds so familiar, but I have no idea where to place it.

I do hate to beg, but what is the Aiko and Yordriffle (I know I spelled it wrong damn it) refference from. I think it's Norse Mythology and everything mentioned on the board has me thinking it's Japanese.

That was absolutely amazing, hahahaa!
Keep it up Yahtzee :)

Haha, fantastic clip man. Can't seem to find any of your reviews/articles in the Hyper magazine though. Would be good to read them.

I bought this game 2 years before the Australian government
could even give a shit and say 'Oh my god, it's pretty bad' and ban
it. I highly loved the stealthy sort in the few first missions, was terrific
but of cause being a Rockstar game, went back into the shoot, block
and hear the faint taunts of the guys.

Not surprised Manhunt 2 is banned.
The Australian council have sucked what's really 'fun' about games,
what next? A rating on highly inapropriate books? c'mon!

If you found this game to be distubingly enjoyable then you should try manhunt 2 for the Wii. That game throws you in to a virtual reality simulator of a homicidal maniac. For example, in manhunt 1 you had to mash buttons to kill, in manhunt 2 for the Wii you swing the wii remote or nunchuk in conjuntion with the type of manuever your using to kill someone... eg: 1) grab the guy by the head> swing wiimote forward 2) slam his head on the wall twice> swing wiimote forward twice 3) take the top off a toilet and break it over his head> swing both wiimote and nunchuk down. now im guessing this is as close as you can get to a real act of murder without it being one.

Mr.Sign:

Mr.Sign:

Break:

brin5tar:
Isn't it pronounced "ee-ko" not "EYE-ko"?

No. Well, probably not. No matter how I say it, I can't seem to make "ee-ko" not sound stupid. So I dub thee wrong. At least, I've never heard it pronounced that way before, and can't really see why you would.

Nice video, as usual, Yahtzee. The opening song combined with the subject matter made me laugh before you even started talking.

Someone refresh my memory as to what the extremely nerdy analogy was. It sounds so familiar, but I have no idea where to place it.

I do hate to beg, but what is the Aiko and Yordriffle (I know I spelled it wrong damn it) refference from. I think it's Norse Mythology and everything mentioned on the board has me thinking it's Japanese.

I signed up specifically to answer this question (so you'd better be thankful- both of you). What you're looking for is the 2001 PS2 title Ico. Which was pretty good. Go get it.

According to my best gut feeling (and Wikipedia agrees), the name should indeed be pronounced 'ee-ko'. Foreign names pronounced with a U.S. American accent makes me either cringe or giggle depending on the context, so 'ee-ko' it is.

I considered registering a while ago to get into the Thief discussion, but I saw that it had been dealt with- the conclusion: Thief had no nimbly bimbly action bits, and anyone who says otherwise sucked at the game... And I didn't need to disable any of the robots in Thief 2 either, by the way.

Because someone asked for it:

Controversy and the games industry go hand in hand like Ico and Yorda, if you'll forgive the incredibly nerdy analogy, and like Yorda, the controversy tends to stay focused for an average of about 8 nanoseconds before getting bored and drifting off to do something else. But when it does get focused, it can get very exasperating, such as when youthful paragons of self-control are called nasty names, and decide that murder would be the wittiest comeback, and then is found to have stood next to a video game at some point in the past. Then the media generally start drooling the usual uninformed questions as to whether wholesome boyish pretend violence has any correlation with the real world. Short answer: No. Long answer: No, and go fuck yourselves, you ignorant scare-mongering cockbags. But sometimes this can be a difficult position to take.

OK, pressing buttons to shoot guns in, say, Soldier of Fortune, is about as far removed from the workings of actual guns as my arse is from the dark side of Europa, but then you have games like Manhunt, which not only have the player viciously maim human beings with a variety of household objects, but also provides detailed and up-close demonstrations on how to achieve the most horrific results, and arguing the harmlessness of it all lacks credibility somewhat. Manhunt comes courtesy of Rockstar North, best known for whirligig of irresponsibility Grand Theft Auto, and concerns the adventures of the laughably-named James Earl Cash, who is plucked from death row in order to take part in a snuff film for the pleasure of some unseen but mouthy pervert. So off he goes to shoot, garrote, bludgeon, slash, and plastic-bag his way through legions of his fellow man.

First impressions were bad. Let's get something straight, alright, third-person action game developers? Left analog stick for movement, right analog stick to rotate camera around player. How is it that when you see something that works perfectly well, you immediately decide to try and improve it, and cock the whole thing up. In Manhunt, the right analog stick changes to the first-person camera, which may seem reasonable in theory, but it means that when you're hiding and trying to see a nearby guard patrolling behind you, you nudge the stick and end up staring at a brick wall. And half the time, when you finally wrestle the camera into the right angle, you'll see the guard has patrolled right up to you, and has now shivved you in the bollocks. There are other things I can complain about, like how the whole "smack a wall to lure over a guard, then do dreadful things to them with the nearest sharp object" rigamarole repeats itself verbatim for virtually every single enemy. But after I'd played for a couple of hours, a strange thing happened; I was actually having fun. I know, it was a weird and frightening realization.

You see, I've always had a fondness of Jason films, because I hate Eighties fashion trends, and it's nice to see people being punished for them, and Manhunt felt kind of like being in a Jason film, I guess, except it was more like the logical opposite of a Jason film, in that I was a desperate, terrified, normal guy, stalking and dispatching droves of masked psychotics. Sadly, the fun dried up as I got further through the game, and the emphasis shifted from stealth to gunplay, like every action game and their dog. There's a tendency for stealth games to try and have their cake and eat it by including action-heavy combat segments (see also Thief: The Dark Project), and it almost always means a trip to Shittytown. Manhunt expected me to clear out a building full of bad guys, then kill a boss from long distance with a motherfucking shotgun, all in the space of a two-minute timer. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, no chance you unreasonable dicks.

Manhunt has actually been banned in this country, because the Australian government has this habit of trying pathetically hard to jump onto bandwagon issues that roll in from real countries, but I seriously don't know whose side to be on when it comes to the debate over whether games like Manhunt mess with the heads of underage impressionable thickies. There's a very clear certification indicating that twelve-year-olds aren't supposed to be playing it, but there's no denying that they play it anyway, because no one other than twelve-year-olds are into this sort of thing. Gushing breathlessly about garrote wire decapitation and baseball bat cranial explosion is a good way to win friends in middle school, but around the office water cooler, it's a good way to lose them. When you break it down, Manhunt is a game that doesn't excel, but is at least competent in most areas, and it's good for relieving tension, which is really all you can ask for. It only stands out in the area of juveline gore, so take this as a recommendation if you're the kind of person who needs to see a gushing mangled neck stump before they can get it up.

Hmm, Barbie games I've played (dont ask) tempt me to mass genocide, more so than Manhunt anyday.

I loved your review on this. When I first played the game, I was intrigued and willing to play. But then, I found things to start getting dull and repetitive. And then I just found the violence (while yes, I do enjoy the occasional suffocation or hacking someones brains out) to be awfully unnecessary. The lowest violence level with some of the weapons I still found to be gritty and dark. Using the crowbar, I did enjoy pretty much neutering guys with the curved end, but then I just found myself thinking "Is this a game?.... Or is this a really slow violent movie?" I never beat it, cause eventually I found myself disgusted with HAVING to rip peoples throats apart and gutting them. Violence is fun, it's always fun. But sometimes it's just pointless. Zombies? I'll blow off their heads any day. White supremacists? Give me that crowbar. But I can only take so much of it. I don't know, maybe the thought of killing zombies in brutal ways is fun to me, but the thought of doing those kinda things to a person kinda erks me. Give me a REASON to want to kill them like that. Like that Walter guy from Silent Hill 4. Sick bastard is killing people for religion???

I really think this review hits home to me because I am a 13 year old boy living in the everlasting hell that is middle school and for some reason every other teenage boy is either ubsesed about their own dicks, violence, or racism, but for the most part its the violence. I don't know what it is about them that makes teenage boys so attracted to violence, maybe its the thought of almost having testostorone in them.???

P.S. i love carrots

I agree. The ending did piss me off because i like sneaking up on people and violently killing with common household objects.

Out of ALL the things you have said over the time, the Thief comment was the only one I strongly disagree with.
Mainly because I finished that game without killing a single NPC. That's why the "Expert" difficulty was there.
I remember the Cathedral level and the extreme sneaking you had to do there.. or the mission where you were disguised in a Hammer church. Being in full sight was god damn frightening.

Also in the Lost City there were those fireball-type-thingies that were almost impossible to kill iirc (you needed water arrows for other things).
The game on expert difficulty is IMPOSSIBLE without sneaking and is IMPOSSIBLE to do even 5% of the game in plain view.

Also I remember specific missions in Thief 2 (like the LAST ONE) when you started after an explosion / alarm kinda breaking my stealthy entrance. Garret's missions should have been like in Thief 1, you only notice his work after he's gone.

Besides, mentioning The Dark Project in a Manhunt review kinda hurt my feelings.

actually having fun .Censorship is for nazis and this whole video games are bad trend is just anouther why for shitty paritents to not get blammed when there stupid brat kills a bunch of outher stupid brats and for pollitshins to get the parient vote

Great review! keep em coming:)

Barbie Horse Adventures is more violent than Resistance? D:

"turning peoples heads in to bloody stumps" how come ive never heard of this game.............and yes i would fall under the catogerisation of someone who cant play game unless i watch something squirm then get to see a little bit of brain usually caused by some sort of blunt weapon.

Watching this episode made me realize we havent had a proper Friday the 13th game chronicling the adventures of Jason!
Just think the final level can be Jason in space!!!!
Maybe he'll bump into Mario up there >.>

link broken!

This video was the first Zero Punctuation I saw and now I guess Im adicctet

Lol.

How come the girly-horse game has more "hardcore violence" than that alien resistance game? is there hardcore bestiality rape in it? Do the horses murder their masters and go on a killing spree?

I don't get it. Maybe it's all just a joke(XD)?

DeusExMathias:
LOL! Keep 'em coming, Yahtzee! :)

what he said ^^ !

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