Zero Punctuation: Super Mario Galaxy

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Wow. I had no idea so many Nintendo fanboys made up Yahtzee's audience.

I just find it funny that you cunts so blindly accepted any negative opinion he had about Mass Effect and how some even felt special for agreeing with him, as if you're both in a prosecuted minority.

Yet, he calls the MARIO franchise a little overdone and you all split a nut.

And I still laugh at the attempts of professional reviews of Yahtzee's reviews. Like you're working for the goddamn New York Times or something. 'Shallow and pedantic this week, Yahtzee.' 'Yes, I concur. Shallow and pedantic.'

First!













































... damn.

Good review. Oh, about the repetition. Well... ok, it's always the same style. Oh, the drama.
That's why we watch the videos, no?

Pulsifer:
Come on; it was voted the game of the year by just about everyone, for some gorramn retarded reason. Of course he had to review it; of course he wanted to do just about anything else. If he'd done something good like, I dunno, reviewing something like a Monkey Island game I'd give him points and accolade for sheer integrity. This fellation of reviewers to this mindless idiocy that is the Mario series is beginning to get seriously boring.

(Yes, Mario 632 was shockingly voted Game of the Year in the year of Bioshock, Halo 3, Mass Effect, Call of Duty 4, The Orange Box, World in Conflict, God of War II, Ninja Gaiden Sigma, Rainbow Six: Vegas and Supreme Commander - ALL OF WHICH DESERVE THE TITLE MORE. And that's not me saying those games are fucking fantabolous, that's me saying that Mario: Galaxy is an inflated, unoriginal, slogg-dull piece of franchise curdling crap. Game of the year?! Company Officials with syringes of dopamine, indeed . . .)

have you played it?
or is it just a 'real men play with guns and not mushrooms' thingy :p
at any rate it's a 'everybody but me in the world is crazy, why can't they see it waaah' thingy -.-

tobyornottoby:

Pulsifer:
Come on; it was voted the game of the year by just about everyone, for some gorramn retarded reason. Of course he had to review it; of course he wanted to do just about anything else. If he'd done something good like, I dunno, reviewing something like a Monkey Island game I'd give him points and accolade for sheer integrity. This fellation of reviewers to this mindless idiocy that is the Mario series is beginning to get seriously boring.

(Yes, Mario 632 was shockingly voted Game of the Year in the year of Bioshock, Halo 3, Mass Effect, Call of Duty 4, The Orange Box, World in Conflict, God of War II, Ninja Gaiden Sigma, Rainbow Six: Vegas and Supreme Commander - ALL OF WHICH DESERVE THE TITLE MORE. And that's not me saying those games are fucking fantabolous, that's me saying that Mario: Galaxy is an inflated, unoriginal, slogg-dull piece of franchise curdling crap. Game of the year?! Company Officials with syringes of dopamine, indeed . . .)

have you played it?
or is it just a 'real men play with guns and not mushrooms' thingy :p
at any rate it's a 'everybody but me in the world is crazy, why can't they see it waaah' thingy -.-

It's a case of "I didn't like the game so clearly everyone else who did is flippin' stupid." Sadly that's the attitude of a lot of us internet-posting gamers. It's really quite disheartening when you want to talk about how much you enjoyed a game but don't want and/or feel the need to defend yourself when someone asks you why and calls you on it.

Edit: And personally I think the "Game Of the Year" title is frivolous anyway. A lot of my favorite games would never be considered Game Of the Year by any review site but it doesn't make me love the game any less. If you really need a whole community to agree with you on the greatness of a game for you to lend credibility to your argument that it's so great, then why even form your own opinion?

It's funny because I've never even played Super Mario Galaxy and probably never will, but if that's your thing then good on ya, and if it's your personal Game Of the Year then by all means love it. And if it's not, then just embrace your own personal favorite. Don't let a game review change your opinion or even ruffle your feathers.

All right, I'm admittedly a little confused by people who say these aren't reviews. Yahtzee is, you know... talking about the gameplay, the game qualities, and all the stuff that I look at reviews to get. Also, he tends to do a much better job of it than Gamespot, who give totally misleading numerical scores to games largely based on who is sponsoring them right now. Or have you not noticed the way they delay "crappy" (anything less than an 8) reviews on big name games until anyone who is going to buy it already has done so. There has been flap, in the recent, as I recall. Nonetheless. I very much prefer to see a review that does not give me an arbitrary rating number and talks instead about what playing the game is actually like.

I don't get the things I want from a review:
- I want a review to be more serious, because every joke is 1 informative line less: I get very little information about the game from ZP
- I want information about the game, not the context: When I read a review, I want to know what Zelda and Mario are like, not that N should try new things
- I want unbiased reviews, or maybe written by someone with my likes & dislikes

so yeah, it's 99% entertainment and 1% review for me :p

Wrist waggling is not fun, it's annoying in my opinion and that would drag the game down. And it would be better being played with a GC controller. The only thing I disagree on is that Super Mario Sunshine was rubbish, I actually liked playing about with FLUDD (the water pistol thing for those that don't know), even though it occasionally (read: always) got frustrating after a while. That's just the way it is. But the best platformer of them all is some kind of hybrid between the Jak and Ratchet series, and nothing to do with Nintendo.

Lucien21:
Wow, this is getting seriously tiresome.

Is there anything this guy actually likes?

He's not paid for objective reviews, he's paid to rip games to pieces. He revels in the fun of dismantling years of development as he takes one of the games of the year and throws it to the lions, The fevered crowd wait for the carnage.

All hail Caeser.

Do I detect someone in the games industry bitter about an unfavourable review?

I agree with your point to an extent but please don't talk about developer's games like they're innocent victims being aimlessly slaughtered by critics. Games are created for profit by companies who only care about end-user experience because it enhances their brand value.

Works created within any type of media will always be criticised, if developers want good reviews then they should make better games!

I've always wondered what Yahtzee sounded like on a handful of Oxycodone and quite a bit of Niquil.

Still, nice review. Even if the speech was a bit sluggish.

heh i liked the part with water world and the kevin costner pic

well i also think that the mario franchise is overused, pitfully i dont think they would make a new franchise when the old ones still being succesfull.

at least would be nice to have a bit more of storyline but i dont see that happening, and i played mario galaxy and i liked.

Lucien21:

Kwil:
You do realize that complaining about Yahtzee giving a negative review is like complaining about shoe stores selling shoes.

Hence the reason it's tiresome. Same shit different game.

You realize if you looked at everything in life with that perspective you'd find there's no originality in ANYTHING? go ahead, try it for youself. if, after one year, you can find something in any aspect of life that didn't come out of something else 25 or 50 or 100 years ago at least, i'll eat my words.

and btw, he's only been doing this for, i dunno, like 5 months? and you're going out of your say to essentially call him washed up? led zeppelin and queen made some shitty records from time to time but nobody called them tiresome, and they bounced back every time. so quit talking like a PR shithead from BMG.

You know, you brought up the same question thats bothered me about mario galaxy

what the fuck will they do to him next?

Maybe some people think it's time to put the pumber to sleep, but honestly, mario may have been going for...ever now, and they pritty much have the same plot and general gameplay every time, but I can say hand on heart that I've never played a bad mario game. you can't really go wrong when buying a mario game, if your not getting a great game atleast you know your not getting a shit one.

Anyway, from all the reviews i've read, I've come to the conclusion that if i ever get a Wii, Mario Galaxy is the first game im getting

Oh, and sorry Zero but this is honestly the shittest review you've done, I didn't laugh once *sad face*. Hope for a better one next week

Can never understand why people expect Shakespeare out of Mario. Do you ever get to see a gripping sex scene between Popeye and Olive Oyl, let alone see the dynamic change between him, Bluto, and the ditzy rubber-legged slag? Do you ever see Mr. Bean suddenly have a nervous breakdown and confess to Teddy his first name and that he's gay? No, and why? Because all of that, however interesting, is not the point of those characters. The point of those characters ARE their usual antics. Popeye's out to do absurd physical feats with his spinach. Mr. Bean is here to give us physical comedy. Mario exists to jump on colorful platforms/enemies. The rest is really incidental to this, pretty much proven so everytime, so why get angry when it's not there? Love it or hate it.

To be honest, when I hear the complaints and bashings about Mario not having some sort of epic storyline, it just makes me think "thou doth protest too much". If you really think Mario is a "git", then you really wouldn't care about him at all enough to complain. I'm sure you can tell a riveting story with Mario (he's a fat Italian plumber from Brooklyn living in Wonderland after defeating a giant gorilla, that's worlds of possibilities), or really anybody, and I'd actually wouldn't mind seeing it with Mario, but that's not what Miyamoto has in mind. The man enjoys his Disney and Depression-era cartoon characters, Mario is a giant homage to them, let him and us enjoy that or stop playing.

Otherwise, excellent review. To the bashers, the point of criticism IS to foster debate and discussion, not gush over what you like as well (unless you are a critic from the MSM, whom 99% thereof feel their opinion is holy writ).

Lucien21:
Wow, this is getting seriously tiresome.

Is there anything this guy actually likes?

He's not paid for objective reviews, he's paid to rip games to pieces. He revels in the fun of dismantling years of development as he takes one of the games of the year and throws it to the lions, The fevered crowd wait for the carnage.

All hail Caeser.

He liked Psychonauts and Portal.

Kwil:

Lucien21:

Kwil:
You do realize that complaining about Yahtzee giving a negative review is like complaining about shoe stores selling shoes.

Hence the reason it's tiresome. Same shit different game.

One might suggest that if you don't like purchasing shoes, you shouldn't bother going to the shoe store.

He has a point ^^

u2rocksbaby:
It makes sense that you couldn't find anything wrong with a game as short as Portal, actually. A shorter game has lower expectations.

That, plus Portal being innovative and fun as opposed to all the games today stinking up the place with good graphics and gameplay as deep as a teaspoon.

Kwil:

You do realize that complaining about Yahtzee giving a negative review is like complaining about shoe stores selling shoes.

And Yahtzee complaining that a Mario game is lacking in the story department is like complaining a shoe store doesn't sell authentic iron greaves used in the Battle of Crécy, so we're both allowed to have our respective opinions.

Nice ironic use of "Fly me to the Moon" since Super Mario Galaxy does a last minute Evangelion complete with "Congratulations!"

I wonder why Yahtzee never went more over the issue that Princess Peach really is just a cockteasing bitch or why Luigi likes to crossdress despite having an ending with Rosetta/Rosalina.

And I wouldn't worry about Nintendo having new franchises to whore: Pikmin looks very well on its way to becoming a Mario replacement.

YOU FUCKING ROOOOOOOOOOOCK! \,,/!!!!!!!! *smashes beercan on forehead*

sfried:
Nice ironic use of "Fly me to the Moon" since Super Mario Galaxy does a last minute Evangelion complete with "Congratulations!"

I'm sure that was the reference he was trying to get across instead of a game about jumping from planetoid to planetoid linked to a classic Sinatra song ostensibly about flying to the moon.

Mario Games "proper" ones, I don't buy any of the other ones continue to sell because they are consistently good and always introduce a new element that is the essence of that particular game. Mario 3 introduced flying, Mario World introduced Yoshi, Mario 64 was in 3d etc etc, so each game is original in its own way. The last thing Mario needs is a story or personality look what happened Sonic, the series brought nothing new to the table so therefore died. I don't know why people refer to the Wii's capabilities as gimmicks every game and console has a gimmick, Blu Ray is a gimmick, the system in Portal is a gimmick, you could take that argument to infinity+1. In a market that's now populated with generic gangster games and EA games (they require their own classification) I for one am glad that you can rely on a Mario game to come out every few years, except Mario 2 that was shit.

I don't understand the anger. Calling a game "fun" is a good thing.

WOW. Your advertising has gotten really obnoxious.

Great Review, gave a new perspective on an almost historical Gaming series.

viciousmaniac:
Can never understand why people expect Shakespeare out of Mario. Do you ever get to see a gripping sex scene between Popeye and Olive Oyl, let alone see the dynamic change between him, Bluto, and the ditzy rubber-legged slag? Do you ever see Mr. Bean suddenly have a nervous breakdown and confess to Teddy his first name and that he's gay? No, and why? Because all of that, however interesting, is not the point of those characters. The point of those characters ARE their usual antics. Popeye's out to do absurd physical feats with his spinach. Mr. Bean is here to give us physical comedy. Mario exists to jump on colorful platforms/enemies. The rest is really incidental to this, pretty much proven so everytime, so why get angry when it's not there? Love it or hate it.

To be honest, when I hear the complaints and bashings about Mario not having some sort of epic storyline, it just makes me think "thou doth protest too much". If you really think Mario is a "git", then you really wouldn't care about him at all enough to complain. I'm sure you can tell a riveting story with Mario (he's a fat Italian plumber from Brooklyn living in Wonderland after defeating a giant gorilla, that's worlds of possibilities), or really anybody, and I'd actually wouldn't mind seeing it with Mario, but that's not what Miyamoto has in mind. The man enjoys his Disney and Depression-era cartoon characters, Mario is a giant homage to them, let him and us enjoy that or stop playing.

Otherwise, excellent review. To the bashers, the point of criticism IS to foster debate and discussion, not gush over what you like as well (unless you are a critic from the MSM, whom 99% thereof feel their opinion is holy writ).

So true, if you want a deep story line then drop that Mario game and get yourself a Metal Gear Solid or a Final Fantasy game. Just picture how pretentious a Mario game would be with an epic gripping story and deep dialog. Besides I personally couldn't care less for in game stories, my gaming career (if you can call it that) has gotten to a point where I really don't pay attention to stories (I keep skiping cut-scenes all the time and when I can't skip them I take the moment to stand up, stretch, get a glass of water or order some food) there are a lot of good books to read and great movies to watch so I really rely on a GOOD game (read game play) to be able to enjoy myself (I'm sure a lot of people my age feel the same way).

I'm not too sure about this one. It had everything I should like, but Yahtzee sounded kinda beaten and tired. There was something lacking in the Glee department. I don't know why exactly.
Oh well. Keep it up old boy anyway. Looking forward to more meta-gaming and/or gaming culture commentary. Yahtzee's year in games would be awesome.

TheTakenOne:
Edit: And personally I think the "Game Of the Year" title is frivolous anyway. A lot of my favorite games would never be considered Game Of the Year by any review site but it doesn't make me love the game any less. If you really need a whole community to agree with you on the greatness of a game for you to lend credibility to your argument that it's so great, then why even form your own opinion?

To be awarded "Game of the Year" the title doesn't only have to be good; it has to be recent. It is similar to the Oscar-effect, where christmas-launched movies seem fresher than others.

This, of course, is amplified by the fact that most game critics grew up on Mario.
(Not Yahtzee, evidently)

Malidictuim:

u2rocksbaby:
It makes sense that you couldn't find anything wrong with a game as short as Portal, actually. A shorter game has lower expectations.

That, plus Portal being innovative and fun as opposed to all the games today stinking up the place with good graphics and gameplay as deep as a teaspoon.

That's exactly what MG is ^^ innovative & fun, no story or (outstanding) graphics. So I wonder, if the exact game would be made but with non-mario graphics, I guess even Yathzee would find it indie enough to love it :p

And Yahtzee complaining that a Mario game is lacking in the story department is like complaining a shoe store doesn't sell authentic iron greaves used in the Battle of Crécy, so we're both allowed to have our respective opinions.

indeed

erk worst one by far but im not comlaining cause you cant ever keep up a status like that

He really spoke quite slow for his standards, and although I could understand more this way (I am no native English speaker as you probably already guessed), I don't like it, I like him rambling on at near-supersonic speed. Even if I'd only get half of his jokes (though usually more like 90%), it'd still be more jokes per minute than when he talks so horrible slow, um normal.

laikenf:
So true, if you want a deep story line then drop that Mario game and get yourself a Metal Gear Solid or a Final Fantasy game.

Haha! Now THAT is comedy.

... what, you were serious?

Go play Planescape: Torment if you want a seriously properly arse-crunchingly good story, with truly fascinating characters. Even Kefka falls short by comparison.

On his website he clearly states that his reduced pace and volume were due to him not wanting to wake his roommate, who was sleeping in the next room. True? I don't know, but that's his explanation.

Malidictuim:

Lucien21:
Wow, this is getting seriously tiresome.

Is there anything this guy actually likes?

He's not paid for objective reviews, he's paid to rip games to pieces. He revels in the fun of dismantling years of development as he takes one of the games of the year and throws it to the lions, The fevered crowd wait for the carnage.

All hail Caeser.

He liked Psychonauts and Portal.

And Bioshock, and he never said he didn't like Mass Effect either.

i think this review lacked of bashing, funny facts like the big number of male chars in games that are white with short brown hair, and words like ugly motherfucker, heh

and i understand that mario has practicly no storyline but for some people that like to guess, it driven us crazy

Hence the reason it's tiresome. Same shit different game.

just described the entire mario franchise right there

zelda too

Asamof:

Hence the reason it's tiresome. Same shit different game.

just described the entire mario franchise right there

zelda too

okaaay and what franchise isn't then?

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