Zero Punctuation: Call of Duty 4

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Try saying that on a battlefiled while getting your guts blown out!

Good points on carefulness/heavieness, but we might be 2 different people scout, 4/5.

Murian:

Helix Falks:
Yes Helicopters do come low in fact most Attack Helis are Specifical designed to do just that.
...
I see your point on the squad AI but I spent most of the game charging headlong into enemy ranks like a true brit yelling "for Queen and country" getting myself perforated at ever opportunity so it was not a problem for me.

Oh, ok then. It just seemed that they'd be making themselves very vulnerable by doing that, seeing as there were loads of rpgs about.

there is NO WAY that helicopters fly that low in real life , the cod4 helis were at 4 metres from the bulding witch is STUPID and suicidal , just one of the milliosns of hollywoods thing that this game has .

Seriously guys. This is a video game we're talking about. There's no way it can be entirely realistic. It's important to balance realism and gameplay so that it doesn't become entirely unmanageable. I see this kind of thing alot though, people with expectations so high that it's unfair to the game. Makes me ;.; that some people just can't enjoy themselves.

Good review, but I just cant help but feel he missed alot of quality ranting materiel...

Where is the rant about the homing grenades that you must dodge EVERY SINGLE SECOND on veteran difficaulty, scratch that veteran difficaulty deserves its own dedicated rant period.

And where was MCMILLIN!?

Funny as always, but just a little too short.

renard:
Hey hey! I've got an idea for a review! How about shuting up and let Yatzhee chose?
Maybe we will save us all those "oh yatzhee, this is dissapointing! this time you liked the game and you weren't as acid as always!" rants.

thats not the point. he gave into pressure and to be honest, we all thought he was a bit harder than that.

there is NO WAY that helicopters fly that low in real life

Yes, they can. I'm living under an airforce practice area, and one day some crazy ass Apache pilot flew his Apache under the bridge near my house. And that's narrow, they can.
Yes it's friggin hard and dangerous to keep a helicopter safe 4 meters from a building, but explain why it's not doable.

Anyway, indeed it's a quality reveiw as usual, very enjoyable indeed :) I so agree on the "I stopped playing because I had to have diner 2 hours ago" catagory, I started playing yesterday after work (about half past 5 in the evening) and when I checked my watch later that evening, I discoverd (while being amazed) that it was 23:15. I loved the switching between SAS and Marines, really good variation. I do understand the people who have issues with the Whack-A-Mole AI and yes it can get on your nerves. I didn't find it that troubeling, kamikazi-enemies are even more retarded. Shame they didn't implent at least a bit of tactical sense in the enemies, FEAR did it (roughly, after a while it got predictable anyway) already, why didn't CoD4?
I still love this game, the singleplayer is short though. Time to check how good the multiplayer is.

Helicopters not only CAN fly that low in real life, they're actually designed to do so. They burn fuel much faster than any fixed-wing aircraft, are inherently unsafe to fly even on perfectly clear sunny days, and can be shot down by a single enemy soldier with an RPG or even a grenade launcher (when is the last time you heard of a fighter or bomber getting shot down by anything but a fully automated missile system?), but that's the price you pay for the ability to land damned near anywhere and fly through any space wider than your mom's buttcrack.

Kamikazi enemies aren't all that inaccurate either. Trying to make up for lack of technology with pure bloodthirsty fanatical indoctrination has its drawbacks, even though the "romance of the suicide bomber" that the media tries to feed us civilians at home has probably made you dismiss the entire rest of this post as the mere babblings of some FOX News fan. There's a reason why the number of US soldiers killed after five years in Iraq is a tenth of what were killed every month in Vietnam, and it's not simply because the enemy in this case is using the exact same weapons, resold through China.

Kamikazi enemies aren't all that inaccurate either.

Yes ok, but in this game we're not talking about completly screwed up religious fanatics (normal soldiers for the US Marine parts of the game, and nationalists for the SAS parts). Even Taliban are, most of the time, not crazy enough to run in a pack of US Marines with just an AK ;) But the point is ofcourse, that it was a bit of a letdown that the enemies missed any tactical sense. It would've made the game more challenging, not necceseraly more difficult but more active instead of indeed some kind of Whack-A-Mole.

nightfish:

renard:
Hey hey! I've got an idea for a review! How about shuting up and let Yatzhee chose?
Maybe we will save us all those "oh yatzhee, this is dissapointing! this time you liked the game and you weren't as acid as always!" rants.

thats not the point. he gave into pressure and to be honest, we all thought he was a bit harder than that.

Of course it's the point. Having 1'000 mails per day that say "plz, review Call of duty 4" can mine the patience of anyone. If it wasn't the point why the hell he would request for the next who suggest a game to simply "go fuck themselves" ?

LOL, I kinda agree with the Captain price joke.

SiCaRi0:

Murian:

Helix Falks:
Yes Helicopters do come low in fact most Attack Helis are Specifical designed to do just that.
...
I see your point on the squad AI but I spent most of the game charging headlong into enemy ranks like a true brit yelling "for Queen and country" getting myself perforated at ever opportunity so it was not a problem for me.

Oh, ok then. It just seemed that they'd be making themselves very vulnerable by doing that, seeing as there were loads of rpgs about.

there is NO WAY that helicopters fly that low in real life , the cod4 helis were at 4 metres from the bulding witch is STUPID and suicidal , just one of the milliosns of hollywoods thing that this game has .

I regret to inform you that they do and I have seen them do it with my perfectly functioning eye balls.Attack helicopters are well armoured and can withstand small armes fire and even RPGs but not stingers as they are designed to take out Aircraft.The role of a gunship is to provide close air support to infantry and armour and they can't do that effectively from high altitude.The AH-64 often sits just mere feet from the ground on the opposite side of a hill useing its top mounted radar dome to track enemy Tanks and when they come into range it pops up out of cover destroys the Tank then ducks back down again safe and sound behind the hill.

Your avatar is very cute when he's happy, Ben. Especially when he was covered in custard.

rapidoud:
no surprise he likes cod4
most fun game out now (popularity doesnt mean fun, lookin at you WoW)
he should do some mehmorpiguhs
mmorpgs

i dont see how the Popularity =/= fun anti WoW argument has anything to do with Croshaw liking COD4, since COD4 is very popular, so that means you arnt saying "Look at this unpopular game that kicks ass but all those blizzfags are too busy with their shitty overpopulized WoW" right?

Helix Falks:

I regret to inform you that they do and I have seen them do it with my perfectly functioning eye balls.Attack helicopters are well armoured and can withstand small armes fire and even RPGs but not stingers as they are designed to take out Aircraft.The role of a gunship is to provide close air support to infantry and armour and they can't do that effectively from high altitude.The AH-64 often sits just mere feet from the ground on the opposite side of a hill useing its top mounted radar dome to track enemy Tanks and when they come into range it pops up out of cover destroys the Tank then ducks back down again safe and sound behind the hill.

you said it :"opposite side of a hill " mean about 1 or 2 km away from the target , not at 5 meters from a building and 2 from the floor .

attack helicopter fly low to avoid radar , and relative high to avoid small fire , there is no way that a chopper will fly that low in an urban batlefeild , thats why they asked for a "lazer beacom" and thats why they have all the electronics . if you want a "quick" proof , searcht in youtube videos of apaches and cobras in action , they attack VERY far away .

i might not have anything productive to add to such a list of comments already...

but i did want to say that, like always, yahtzee continues to make me laugh.

with that, i'm off to take hallucinagens--and by that i mean i'm going to play Katamari Damacy and run over things that are smaller than myself.

(Katamari: the game to play when you're too broke to buy drugs)

Was shown these videos by a friend.

You sir are my hero.

You put the wit in witty.

TioH:
Seriously guys. This is a video game we're talking about. There's no way it can be entirely realistic. It's important to balance realism and gameplay so that it doesn't become entirely unmanageable. I see this kind of thing alot though, people with expectations so high that it's unfair to the game. Makes me ;.; that some people just can't enjoy themselves.

What's unmanageable about the MH-60 providing cover fire with their miniguns from 200m instead of 4m? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thjX3nni73M That video, 2:30 in. That's not unachievable realism, that's lazy game design, catering to Hollywoodism, and a complete immersion breaker. One errant pitch of the deck, one easy AK burst into the crew compartment and that MH-60 would be combat ineffective. A lot of the enjoyment from CoD4 should come from the impression that you're whatever real life combat operator and the game isn't a copy of Unreal with convincingly modeled (but not convincingly used) props.

There is realism that's boring to too many players, unsatisfying, and technically troublesome. There's also crass and lowbrow game and art direction.

If it was covering it from 200 meters, wouldn't it be, umm, IMPOSSIBLE to take down?

What's unmanageable about the MH-60 providing cover fire with their miniguns from 200m instead of 4m? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thjX3nni73M That video, 2:30 in. That's not unachievable realism, that's lazy game design, catering to Hollywoodism, and a complete immersion breaker. One errant pitch of the deck, one easy AK burst into the crew compartment and that MH-60 would be combat ineffective. A lot of the enjoyment from CoD4 should come from the impression that you're whatever real life combat operator and the game isn't a copy of Unreal with convincingly modeled (but not convincingly used) props.

There is realism that's boring to too many players, unsatisfying, and technically troublesome. There's also crass and lowbrow game and art direction.

Why wouldn't it do that? What's so unimaginably unrealistic about it? I see attack helicopters practicing a lot (also F-16's, dog-fights are so cool to watch), and I can tell you that it doesn't sound nor look unrealistic. I wouldn't call it ineffective either, it's a fast way to dispose yourself of a ship's bridge full of baddies. Pretty dangerous for a couple of SAS folks without really proper cover, on lower ground, and in much harder conditions to make aiming even more troubeling. I really don't understand the bitching about realism.

Let's put it this way... if you can choose to fly above trees and buildings, exposing yourself to any and all enemy AAA fire and SAMs, but limiting vulnerability to RPG and small arms fire (which attack choppers can withstand... easily in the latter case), or you can choose to fly low, obscured by trees and buildings but an easier target for infantry weapons, which would you choose?

The reason you see choppers flying so high in youtube videos and the like is because those helicopters are in Iraq and Afghanistan, where they are fighting enemies armed mostly with small arms and RPGs. Small arms will bounce off of them, for the most part, but RPGs are unguided, so flying higher gives the pilot more time to react. Also, there's not much cover in a desert.

I noticed my brother sniping an Mi-28 pilot in this game, and just had to roll my eyes. I really doubt a 7.62 mm round would penetrate, and even if it did, the thing wouldn't crash because the co-pilot can also control the chopper in an emergency.

ComradeJim270:
Let's put it this way... if you can choose to fly above trees and buildings, exposing yourself to any and all enemy AAA fire and SAMs, but limiting vulnerability to RPG and small arms fire (which attack choppers can withstand... easily in the latter case), or you can choose to fly low, obscured by trees and buildings but an easier target for infantry weapons, which would you choose?

The reason you see choppers flying so high in youtube videos and the like is because those helicopters are in Iraq and Afghanistan, where they are fighting enemies armed mostly with small arms and RPGs. Small arms will bounce off of them, for the most part, but RPGs are unguided, so flying higher gives the pilot more time to react. Also, there's not much cover in a desert.

Coming from a military family I can tell you that any military helicopters are not immune to small arms. Western helicopters are light weight and unarmored unlike their Russian counter parts which tend to have armor in vital areas. That is why US helos always stand off a distance on a attack to avoid ground fire. Even then they are vulnerable to ground fire, their is a video on the net of a Apache being taken out by a well aimed RPG from the ground. Several US Army Apaches where brought down by rifle fire in Iraq and Afghanistan. While the Apache is a tough bird it can not withstand a bullet "golden BB" to a vital area. The crew cockpit is unarmored, and so is the engine area. One well placed rifle shot can bring down any heli armored or not.

This is the first "Zero Punctuation" I've ever seen. This means that my life has been empty. Fie.

I was going to tell you how to do your job, but then I experienced this cathedral spire and I must say... uh, curiously snug.
Great review, btw.

BBAHAHAHA GOLD, good work Yahtzee!

An excellent review, nice one.

SiCaRi0:

attack helicopter fly low to avoid radar , and relative high to avoid small fire , there is no way that a chopper will fly that low in an urban batlefeild , thats why they asked for a "lazer beacom" and thats why they have all the electronics . if you want a "quick" proof , searcht in youtube videos of apaches and cobras in action , they attack VERY far away .

You missed my point I agree that in the game there was no need for them to do it. my point is they do and have done and they ask you to laser paint the target so that they can tell it apart from the other buildings they fired at the soldiers inside with the Cannon and lanched Hydra 70s witch are unguided i might add. Also Assassinator pointed out that Pilots are crazy and i can back that up having worked with many sutch crazy people in my time.

has anyone else noticed that they called it Modern Combat and it's actually Modern Warfare?

/Geek/

GenHellspawn:
If it was covering it from 200 meters, wouldn't it be, umm, IMPOSSIBLE to take down?

I think that would be the point eh? I'm talking about the "Blackhawk" helicopter (close enough) that gets within ping-pong ball throwing distance to the bridge of the ship in order to shoot up the baddies in there. The helicopter is the one that dropped off the SAS guys and is providing door gunner support.

If you actually LOOK at the video and you DON'T SEE A PROBLEM then there's little point in continuing this conversation. I mean if you watch a video of a car run a red light and hit a bus full of kids and tell me "I don't see anything wrong in that video" then we lack a logical launching pad to reach my point. If it's not obviously unreal that the pilot of the helicopter flew to within hand-shaking distance in order to provide fire support, then I don't know what will convince you.

Okay lets get something simple here people about COD 4 vs Realisom

For those of you deployed to battle, you should know that COD4 and real life have nothing to do with each other. The very situation the Marines put themselves in is militarily unsound and situational futile but lets keep the senario away from facts.

Helicopters: While helicopters can fight low level close air support, the pilot has the responciblity to keep his aircraft and his crew member alive. If he is taking fire off the side from the ground and few RPGs fly his way, he's going for evasive manuvers while his gunner takes on the enemy. He wouldn't just sit there, turing around over the hotzone waiting to take hits. Most common tactic would be he goes circling around the area and strafe it going over to reduce getting hit. He's also if you look in the game maybe ten stories up. That is about a hundred feet. It would be four times that and still be effective. In Black Hawk down those Blackhawks were only five hundred and one was a thousand. Lucky hits. The reason why that is not the case in this game? Because people would bitch and moan if they were just to put up with getting shot up by a heli. Although I believe if I have an air strike and I have planes coming in, they should take a shot with a Sidewinder off the wing to take out that chopper as they are going past.

Combat (Marines): Urban combat is not working if guys are dropping dead left and right if you stopped moving in a game and watched the AI go at it. There are no calls for medics, there is no orders shouting where to lay down fire from your commanders nor are you yelling them down to the corporals and privates, there are no orders being given down from the chain of command. There is no real tactical movements you can take like say in Rainbow Six Vegas or Advanced Warfighter so you can't take cover. This is a high paced shooter, not realism.

Combat (SAS): This is a little more to the stealth based kind of thing so it sticks a little closer to what combat is. You can't take a lot of chances, things are very tight knit, sniping is a must here. The ideas they are behind the scenes trying to fix all this mess is probably closer to the truth as one would belive. Still, its a bit of a strech the situations they get handed but if it was realistic, it wouldn't be half as good.

Enemies: ALrighy, these are fanatics and lets see what that means. These are not religious fanatics, just soldiers with probably a little crazy mixed in. They stagger when shot, they blind fire, they throw grenades sometimes, even last stand and the like. However they are too loose with their lives to be really challenging but its good enough because while I know they could make it realistic, it would be far too frustrating to stand for most gamers. If you want realism, play Advanced Warfighter on the PC if you want 'they make a mistake they die and vice versa you die' gameplay.

Weapons: Don't misunderstand this but everyone of these weapons are deadly in two shots or less. The shock alone from one round hitting you is enough to knock you out depending on where it hits. Why am I, if I am an American solider using an RPG-7 that is forty years old when the standard US model is a 40mm LAW or an AT-4 that fires a lot more strait and hits a hell of a lot harder. Plus as a little bit of a quirk here for multiplayer, what does a silencer, a grenade launcher or an aimdot have to do with eachother that I can only have one? Thats right, they don't. While some would say it gives others an unfair advantage, I would sacrifice one of my perks to have a second gun attachment, like kill perk number two if I had a grenade launcher and a silencer on my gun like the single player.

LOL a "three cunted hooker." Great review as always you never disappoint.

There are SO MANY bitches in the gaming world. Most of you all included.

The reason for a game review is to have the person who is reviewing it let us know if it is a worthy game or not. And while Yahtzee has come up with a fantastically (no sucking of arse intended) comical way of doing this, you all seem to have a problem with him doing it with the top selling games of today.

Classic examples are the Halo 3 & Call of Duty 4 installments of Zero Punctuation.

Now forgive me for thinking, because I've discovered that thinking can get you into trouble in todays world...BUT...Have you bitching excuses of game loving human beings ever thought, 'wow...this guy may be right...maybe the game does deserve praise (or rejection)' instead of saying 'I'm disappointed with this, CoD4 is so generic, Halo 3 was amazing, blah, blah, blah, review something like 'The Diamond in the Rough that Nobody Cares About'.

If I was Yahtzee, I would throw in the towel because my fan base is 98% made up of fucken retarded piranhas's, but I guess it pays the gas bill, so why not live off your stupidity.

Sounds good. I'll grab it along with the insurgent MOD where I finally get to shoot Amis & Brits!

Great review, hilarious as the other ones I've seen. However a niggly matter that I feel compelled to address! Yahtzee states :-

You spend most of the game with the British SAS, as they covertly fix things from behind the scenes. But they're depicted as a bunch of morally questionable psychotic thugs. Again just like in real life

What makes you believe that the SAS are a bunch of "morally questionable psychotic thugs...just like in real life"?

To kill requires one with a stern constitution and perhaps a particular outlook. However I'm sure most would say the SAS are a professional lot, belonging to arguably the most experienced and well trained army in the world. I'm not proclaiming this in some sort of overt patriotic flag waving gesture - just slightly perplexed as to why you'd think the SAS are brutish thugs?

Answers on a postcard....or if necessary toilette paper!

Keep up the great work :-)

Mr.Dillinger:
There are SO MANY bitches in the gaming world. Most of you all included.

The reason for a game review is to have the person who is reviewing it let us know if it is a worthy game or not. And while Yahtzee has come up with a fantastically (no sucking of arse intended) comical way of doing this, you all seem to have a problem with him doing it with the top selling games of today.

Classic examples are the Halo 3 & Call of Duty 4 installments of Zero Punctuation.

Now forgive me for thinking, because I've discovered that thinking can get you into trouble in todays world...BUT...Have you bitching excuses of game loving human beings ever thought, 'wow...this guy may be right...maybe the game does deserve praise (or rejection)' instead of saying 'I'm disappointed with this, CoD4 is so generic, Halo 3 was amazing, blah, blah, blah, review something like 'The Diamond in the Rough that Nobody Cares About'.

If I was Yahtzee, I would throw in the towel because my fan base is 98% made up of fucken retarded piranhas's, but I guess it pays the gas bill, so why not live off your stupidity.

Nice sweeping generalisations there, now get off the soapbox. Before the FBI (Frightening Bastard Irritants) track you down and take you down a peg or two. I think stupidity is being mistaken for ignorance here. "You all seem to have a problem with him doing it" (reviewing top games). Just because Yahtzee's reviews are acerbic, entertaining and critical, doesn't mean that every one has to agree with him. This isn't a place where dissenting opinions should be locked up then obliterated. Far from it, if some one wants to disagree (and stating why) then go ahead. Why flame them for it?

Some people set themselves up as a 'forum Jesus', you're going to get crucified so why bother? No Lazarus here gentlemen.

THIS IS NOT GOOD GAME AT ALL IT DOES NOT HAVE A GOD ENDING AND THE STORY LINE IS VERY DULL DEFEND THIS!!!!!! GO FIND THAT!!!!! RESCUE HIM!!!! GO KILL HIM!!!! FIND HIM BEFORE HE KILLS HIMSELF!!!! THIS GAME IS BORING. THE ONLINE PLAY IS ADDICTING THOUGH I COULD NOT PULL MY SELF AWAY

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